understanding discipline

[the captians wench]

Master says something similar about the day after. its a new day, its a fresh start. i have a little bit of trouble with that because whether its discipline or punishment, i am always "down" for a while after.

i wake up in the morning feeling fine, then all the memories about what happened and the resulting action (again, be it discipline or punishment) come flooding back to me and i feel awful. it takes me a while to get over that.

Master says not to beat myself up (that its his job, not mine ) but its still hard to put a smile on my fae and act like its all fine if im feeling down.

What I was told is it's not my place to punish myself like I do, so I need to stop. That pretty much nipped it in the bud so I don't carry the guilt anymore.

There's also a rule I've had with every relationship I've been in because of my tendency to beat myself up with guilt, and that's " once a crime is forgive, it doesn't exist". Neither party can bring up the incident again. This also helped with my guilt issue. Doesn't mean I don't learned from it, just that I don't need to keep learning the same lesson.

 

[BiBunny]

The way people use the word "discipline," as some sort of atonement for a transgression, I really can't tell the difference between discipline and punishment. I always thought of discipline as some sort of strict training regiment, like me tossing out all the junk food in the house to force myself to lose weight, instead of being beaten (or whatever) for eating junk food when I wasn't supposed to, which would be punishment. But they seem to be used interchangeably, which confuses me.

Oh, well, doesn't matter too much. Neither is a part of my relationship.