sauhund96
the one and only
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Virgin Here..Breaking my writing cherry
- Thread starter LadyIlsa
- Start date
drksideofthemoon
West of the moon. . .
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simply don't care
Note to self: Don't feed the trolls...
starrkers
Down two, then left
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Wow, nothing like disagreeing on punctuation to drag in the comments 
I'm back, as promised, because I read the story this morning (this thread was about a story, y'know). I liked it. It was well written, easy to follow and fun. And we got to fight over semantics
What more could we ask for?
I'm back, as promised, because I read the story this morning (this thread was about a story, y'know). I liked it. It was well written, easy to follow and fun. And we got to fight over semantics
What more could we ask for?
LadyIlsa
Really Experienced
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Wow, nothing like disagreeing on punctuation to drag in the comments
I'm back, as promised, because I read the story this morning (this thread was about a story, y'know). I liked it. It was well written, easy to follow and fun. And we got to fight over semantics
What more could we ask for?
I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you...
It's fun to read the give and take - you guys obviously do this often. I view my blog as a conversation with people who comment on it, and I like that it's the same way here. As a first experience with having a story here as well as posting this thread, this has been educational and fun.
drksideofthemoon
West of the moon. . .
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Wow, nothing like disagreeing on punctuation to drag in the comments
I'm back, as promised, because I read the story this morning (this thread was about a story, y'know). I liked it. It was well written, easy to follow and fun. And we got to fight over semantics
What more could we ask for?
Earth Day is approaching. Can we expect more beavers?
starrkers
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Anything's possible. I never did write part 2 of that story. They may get a parenthetic run somewhereEarth Day is approaching. Can we expect more beavers?
drksideofthemoon
West of the moon. . .
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Now children, behave....
Oh, no. It's a running inside joke about a story starrkers wrote last year for the earth day contest, and two beavers had a small part in the story.
starrkers
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Real rodent type beavers.
And I sought information from my fellow authors, seeing as I'm Australian and don't know a whole lot about the little fellas.
So, of course, I got the info I wanted and the inmates *ahem* I mean authors had fun with the double entendre.
And I sought information from my fellow authors, seeing as I'm Australian and don't know a whole lot about the little fellas.
So, of course, I got the info I wanted and the inmates *ahem* I mean authors had fun with the double entendre.
geronimo_appleby
always on the move
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if ya write more stuff, enjoy it. the techy shit will develop...
mind you, i don't have much of a clue, i'm just enjoying it!
luck to ya.
mind you, i don't have much of a clue, i'm just enjoying it!
luck to ya.
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
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Really? Where does it say that?
And ellipses are for missing words and nothing else, it's a printer's mark now commonly used in writing. Speaking elliptically doesn't even have use for three dots but is a common occurence: "Darkside doesn't have any stories at Lit under his thread* name, but I do." (have stories at Lit under my thread name)
Parentheses are brilliant (I use them all the time) they are exceptionally useful if the parenthesised comment is a short notation**.
*thread name: the ID used when posting to threads.
**which would normally be at the bottom of the page and read separately.
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
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It's the only style guide listed on the Web site's "Writer's Resource" page. I think it's a good basic resource, but it's incomplete and it is meant for High School-level writing. (It also doesn't disagree with anything in the Chicago Manual of Style, changing its style whenever the CMA does--so why not go to the more complete source, if available?).
On parentheses in stories, (again) fiction is derivative of spoken storytelling--either narative or dialogue. You don't say "Cleo open parenthesis a very fat cat end parenthesis pushed Tigger aside and lapped up all the cream." Since you don't voice parenthesis in narrative or dialogue, the only time you'll find them in published fiction is where the author/editor wasn't thinking too clearly. This has nothing to do with the use of ellipses for pauses and em dashes for cut off speech. You need something in the style realm to signal these in fiction, and that's what publishers have chosen to use.
And I'm not sure what your reference is to DarkSide; There were DarkSide stories here when I started posting here and I have no problem identifying DarkSide as a prolific and well-received author. You have a point?
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gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
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An example of elliptical speech. N' est-ce pas?
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
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No, a straightforward answer to something you seem to have your knickers in a knot over and won't directly say.
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
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Why do you think that?
The phrase which included Dark was closed in quotes and followed a colon after a sentence that began with the words 'Speaking elliptically...' and ending with the words that were left off the end of the sentence in parentheses.
There's no hidden meaning, no veiled sarcasm, it was an example, Dark is a participant in the thread and I know that he withdrew his stories a while ago.
Another example: "sr71plt has never been to Bridlington but I have." (been to Bridlington.)
Elliptical speech. Leaving out words of a complete sentence but not affecting the meaning.
What?
starrkers
Down two, then left
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You don't say "Cleo comma a very fat cat comma pushed Tigger aside and lapped up all the cream" either.
So perhaps we should do away with them too. Don't be an ass.
He wasn't referring to Darkside particularly, he could just as easily said Fred. The sentence is an example of elliptical speech, not to be taken as anything else.
Sr, you're being a pedant again.
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
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Oh, God. I have no idea why you mentioned it at all then. I'll just let you lick that grouch on your own.
Found the Writer's Resource page yet?
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
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OK, do it your way if you like.
I'll stick with what we do professionally in the publishing world--and will mention how they do it in the real publishing world for any writers here who wish to develop along the mainlines.
I'll have to mull the other stuff, because I still don't have a clue what the Darkside and has nothing on the Lit. list now crap was supposed to be about--elliptically or otherwise.
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
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So what do you find guilty then? or mysterious or ulterior?
Or are you just emulating Joe when he comes off sounding like an assburger? or perhaps you're imitating the action of a tiger. (that was pure unalloyed sarcasm thinly disguised as erudite wit)
LadyIlsa
Really Experienced
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Hi Again...
OK - My second submission was posted today - under "Loving Wives" instead of "Erotic Couplings" - don't have a clue why. But regardless - this one is longer, more detailed. Let me know what you think?
'Monday Again'
OK - My second submission was posted today - under "Loving Wives" instead of "Erotic Couplings" - don't have a clue why. But regardless - this one is longer, more detailed. Let me know what you think?
'Monday Again'
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drksideofthemoon
West of the moon. . .
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Watch the punctuation, and spelling errors. Personally, I liked your first story better. The characters in your latest one seem flat, and the plot a bit on the thin side.
LadyIlsa
Really Experienced
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Thanks for the comment, but I re-read the story and can't fine the errors. Now, usually, I'm terrible at proofing my own work, so could you please point a few out?
Any suggestions about the characters? I thought that they were pretty believable.
Also, just FYI - this was truly my first ever story. The first one submitted here was just one of the shorter ones.
I appreciate your suggestions.
LadyIlsa
~J~
drksideofthemoon
West of the moon. . .
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I just re-read the story, and I can't find the spelling errors I thought I saw before. One was MrReal, was that how you intended it, or was it supposed to be Mr. Real?
Yes, your characters were believable, but really not that interesting. There wasn't a lot of time spent on character development as the majority of the story was sex.
I may be holding you to a higher standard as I think you have a lot of talent.
