Virgin Subs...yum. Fresh Meat.

[Lancecastor]

Richard...I used you as an example because you're well known here and because you've posted very openly about one or two vanilla women who you brought into BDSM and they broke your heart in the process.

That's all.

 

[emer]

I don't know what my "label" is.

I'm trying to decide what portions of the "B - D/s - S/M" lifestyle I like and crave and need. A few years ago I first felt the desire. My lover and I were both in a head space where we totally needed each other. We both needed to feel something other than the despair of our normal lives. ( I don't truly know what he needed but in retrospect this seems a good explanation.)

The physical passion we felt for one another was incredible and when we finally had the chance to be together he hurt me and I loved it. He tasted the blood and tears and paused, but I begged him to continue. Hours later, in that space described here as subspace or Domspace we started coming down from the high.

I know how I felt ... embarrassed, bruised, sore, bleeding ... a little angry too, that I'd let myself be used to. I don't know how he felt but he did verbalize concern over hurting me. So much tenderness but he didn't hesitate to take us both further the next day.

We went back to our respective homes and children. Spoke a week later. It took three or four very long phone calls before we could get past the weirdness of how we had both behaved and how we longed to behave that way again.

Anyway ... something was awakened in both of us that we were not looking for. It ended because of space and commitments to children and maybe we just didn't love each other enough.

This is why I'm not so much looking for a "Dom" and I'm hesitant to use a label to describe myself. I don't care what label the guy uses for himself or if he's ever even heard of BDSM.

If I feel that kind of passion, the desire and yearning to feel love and pain mixed, the desire to submit ... and he feels the desire to cause pain and dominate ... we won't need lists of do's and don'ts ... or T/titles ... or words to keep us safe ... or the approval of the experts.

emer