Warrior Sub??? Come share your opinion!

[missgiter]

Makes perfect sense. However, I would assume (and you do know what they say about that) ... That perhaps in this life style a slave wouldn't have the same meaning as they have in history? Like I said, very new here -- Learning the ropes, the meanings, etc (Ha, pardon the pun). I could be completely off target, anyways.

-a

 

[Stella_Omega]

Makes perfect sense. However, I would assume (and you do know what they say about that) ... That perhaps in this life style a slave wouldn't have the same meaning as they have in history? Like I said, very new here -- Learning the ropes, the meanings, etc (Ha, pardon the pun). I could be completely off target, anyways.

-a

Well, as always-- what any term means is subject to individual preferences. But all of our terms have historic references that impact our psyches and get us all hot and bothered. That's why we use them, and instead of making up new words. "Gerblitzer" just wouldn't get my motor running, even if it meant "Whipping Master."

My preferred explanation is:
A "submissive" follows orders because it's their nature, and it makes them happy to do so, or because they've decided to do so-- they have offered their power up to someone else, for any number of reasons.

a "slave" follows orders because they must-- their powerlessness is imposed from outside. Again, there can be any number of reasons and wherefores about the relationship For some folk it's a fact of life and not their choice, for others it's some sort of choice to enter this contract.

And as ownedsubgal points out, both things can be true at the same time. A slave can be a submissive slave.

 

[missgiter]

Points well taken, Stella.

I giggled at gerblitzer. Loudly. We all learn something new every day - and that's the true reason I'm here, anyways. To learn! Thanks for the insight

-a

 

[Stella_Omega]

Glad to give you a giggle!

If you haven't had enough of my pedantry yet, here's a thread you might want to read:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=40603931

 

[missgiter]

I'll go check it out. And I'm speechless. For the first time in ... ages, I had to look up a word. Way to go. That doesn't happen often for me
-a

 

[_Stardust]

To me, that sounds like one woman just mulling through things in her own head. She's not trying to force yet another label on anybody else or tell another person what makes them tick. It may be navel gazing, but I expect everybody's been guilty of it at some point in their life. There's already so many different terms, catergories and definitions hanging out under the BDSM brolly, that I don't see how one more can hurt.

 

[Loverskitten]

Isn't that just called selective???

I agree with this. However, as a single person, out there looking/trying to date, I get bombarded with "me man, me Dom, you female, you slave" types. After chatting with a guy for a couple months, I was told the other day, "for being into kink, you sure don't get it" when I wouldn't send pics he wanted or conform to his likes.
Give the girl a break, it's tough out there when you don't have someone who gets you and you CAN keep it to yourself.

 

[Stella_Omega]

What he really meant was: "For being into kink, I'm sure not getting any!"

It's so funny the way these guys think that "being into kink" is the way to get laid.

For those of us who really are kinky, it's something that limits our chances of getting laid even more.

 

[Loverskitten]

What he really meant was: "For being into kink, I'm sure not getting any!"

It's so funny the way these guys think that "being into kink" is the way to get laid.

For those of us who really are kinky, it's something that limits our chances of getting laid even more.

Oh yes!
It's surprising how many guys are turned off by a woman who has some kink, even if they are kinky. I've done my own little experiment with the wording in my dating profiles. Add the "just plain sex won't do it" factor :/ sigh. [/bitching]

Ya know, I'd rather read about a woman realizing her limits/wants/needs than the scads of baby girls "I think I'm submissive and want to give my body, mind, and soul to the first person to PM me" drivel we get here.

Battle (sex) on warrior sub!

 

[livin1971]

I have tired finding girls that say they want kinky. DOM/SUB. but when I ask them what they want, like they give me one worded replies. WTF. I have had friends into BDSM ranging form extreme to one just doing what they other says with dirty talk. I have had some friends that let me play with them I asked lots of questions. I found out in my personal opinion that communication, trust in each other are the main keys to this type of relationship. My issue is if you can't tell me a desire/fantasy or how you like something done, what I can/can't say to you, in some detail before playing. How do I know truly what you want. Is it just a hard fucking, pulling your hair, how hard I slap your ass, etc... By nature I am nice polite caring guy. In bed I'm a switch, I prefer to be dominate but can submit. I can speak my desires, better than I write them. I will write or say I want to do this or that in detail. I always ask then what they want and get I want it rough, I like my nipples played with rough. Is it twisting pulling bitting (how hard?)

Then when I play with them they will say I didn't do it hard/soft enough. How the hell am I supposed to know when you can't communicate to me in detail what you want before. My main desire is to please you so you will cum as many times as you can. Sex for me is mental watching you get me off is better than me cumming. As I said before it takes communication and trust. The more you do both the more comfortable you become with each other. That in turn leads to better sex. It can also help you both go farther than you thought you could go. I apologize for rambling and venting my frustration. thanks for reading.

 

[Stella_Omega]

ah, yeah. There's that thing again-- women who think that because they want to be done unto, they should give up their willpower to the guy and sort of blindly hope that he can read their mind. If you can help a woman understand that she has total permission to communicate her desires, you'll be doing her a huge favor-- not to mention yourself.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=40603931#post40603931

 

[Scentofawoman]

ah, yeah. There's that thing again-- women who think that because they want to be done unto, they should give up their willpower to the guy and sort of blindly hope that he can read their mind. If you can help a woman understand that she has total permission to communicate her desires, you'll be doing her a huge favor-- not to mention yourself.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=40603931#post40603931

I have to agree too. I have been talking to a lot of men who say they want to be submissive. It is interesting because basic questions like what they want somewhat turns to "I thought this was the way I was suppose to act." Then you get into a lot of in depth questions on my part just not " I think it would be cool to have a woman tell me what to do" and you find out these men have a vastly different opnions on what they will submit too.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have to agree too. I have been talking to a lot of men who say they want to be submissive. It is interesting because basic questions like what they want somewhat turns to "I thought this was the way I was suppose to act." Then you get into a lot of in depth questions on my part just not " I think it would be cool to have a woman tell me what to do" and you find out these men have a vastly different opnions on what they will submit too.

Because they want to be done unto in the way they want. They want a woman to serve them, actually.

And so do many women want to be served, in much the same way. Quite often. Only-- women don't have ProDoms to buy time from. For many complex and interlocking reasons, of course, but that's the truth.

 

[Loverskitten]

I have tired finding girls that say they want kinky. DOM/SUB. but when I ask them what they want, like they give me one worded replies. WTF. I have had friends into BDSM ranging form extreme to one just doing what they other says with dirty talk. I have had some friends that let me play with them I asked lots of questions. I found out in my personal opinion that communication, trust in each other are the main keys to this type of relationship. My issue is if you can't tell me a desire/fantasy or how you like something done, what I can/can't say to you, in some detail before playing. How do I know truly what you want. Is it just a hard fucking, pulling your hair, how hard I slap your ass, etc... By nature I am nice polite caring guy. In bed I'm a switch, I prefer to be dominate but can submit. I can speak my desires, better than I write them. I will write or say I want to do this or that in detail. I always ask then what they want and get I want it rough, I like my nipples played with rough. Is it twisting pulling bitting (how hard?)

Then when I play with them they will say I didn't do it hard/soft enough. How the hell am I supposed to know when you can't communicate to me in detail what you want before. My main desire is to please you so you will cum as many times as you can. Sex for me is mental watching you get me off is better than me cumming. As I said before it takes communication and trust. The more you do both the more comfortable you become with each other. That in turn leads to better sex. It can also help you both go farther than you thought you could go. I apologize for rambling and venting my frustration. thanks for reading.

DUDE? this is funny. I have never said, "I like my nipples twisted, exactly 45 degrees to the left only" hahaha
Doesn't anyone communicate during sex/play? Maybe testing their tolerance for nipple play or spanking by starting out soft and watching or hearing their reaction? Come on now!!!!
I can't be the only one who has no problem with some "yes yes! Harder harder!" or "easy boy..."

My only problem is I love a flinching man... Just adore it! (always wish for a reluctant tear too) Kitten is not a good listener

 

[livin1971]

DUDE? this is funny. I have never said, "I like my nipples twisted, exactly 45 degrees to the left only" hahaha
Doesn't anyone communicate during sex/play? Maybe testing their tolerance for nipple play or spanking by starting out soft and watching or hearing their reaction? Come on now!!!!
I can't be the only one who has no problem with some "yes yes! Harder harder!" or "easy boy..."

My only problem is I love a flinching man... Just adore it! (always wish for a reluctant tear too) Kitten is not a good listener

Its not about the exact way they wanted it twisted. It's they say almost nothing at all when I hear "I want it rough" that is not very helpful as their definition of rough can vary. My pain tolerance is way higher than most peoples. Yes test the waters I do. If you can't tell me in words roughly before, it makes my job that much harder in the beginning.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I start off with what I consider a medium sensation, ask her how that felt, then tell her I'm going to try a harder twist.

I assure her that I'm totally willing to her, but I want to know where the hurting starts. If she's not absolutely honest, if I'm seeing blood welling up from under my fingernails and she's claiming it doesn't hurt-- I will remind her I'm in this for my own pleasure as well as hers, and she's not giving me any pleasure.

But it isn't only women who do this. A woman I know who tops men says that she gets these huge marines who will get all stoic, lie to her about how much pain they are in, and she will stop the play.

 

[livin1971]

I start off with what I consider a medium sensation, ask her how that felt, then tell her I'm going to try a harder twist.

I assure her that I'm totally willing to her, but I want to know where the hurting starts. If she's not absolutely honest, if I'm seeing blood welling up from under my fingernails and she's claiming it doesn't hurt-- I will remind her I'm in this for my own pleasure as well as hers, and she's not giving me any pleasure.

But it isn't only women who do this. A woman I know who tops men says that she gets these huge marines who will get all stoic, lie to her about how much pain they are in, and she will stop the play.

I just asking question before play and get crap responses one liners and such. When it comes to play i start out light and increase as I know what she wants. I have friends who are very much into the blood aspect of BDSM. I'm not but they are. I have also encountered women who say I want it rough and I smack her ass and she says its to hard. when I know my strength and barely smacked her ass. I'm just venting I guess.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just asking question before play and get crap responses one liners and such. When it comes to play i start out light and increase as I know what she wants. I have friends who are very much into the blood aspect of BDSM. I'm not but they are. I have also encountered women who say I want it rough and I smack her ass and she says its to hard. when I know my strength and barely smacked her ass. I'm just venting I guess.

I could offer suggestions on that, but I don't want to be insulting.

I guess, topping newbies is something I do a lot, and playing with women is the only thing I do.

 

[livin1971]

I could offer suggestions on that, but I don't want to be insulting.

I guess, topping newbies is something I do a lot, and playing with women is the only thing I do.

You won't offend me at all. you can PM me your answer.