What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

But then, maybe someone is depressed and has better moments, and maybe during those better moments it appears they are breadcrumbing, when they are really just trying to feel better and indicate this. So many things to think about.
This! Mental health. We don’t always know what’s going on with the other person.
 
I'm not asking for perfection....
Just like, I dunno something resembling communication...

I respect and probably totally agree...

Right, and this also... But why is it so hard to say or ask or whatever, because we are adults and it shouldn't matter if everyone likes us...
Or whatever ...

And further more, don't tell me we're exclusive of your going to be the one that isn't....
Don't agree to my terms of your not expecting/expressing the same term
I am in agreement. I was just thinking about how I would myself act. I wasn't trying to argue. Communication is good.
 
Absolutely! I’d love that!

But I was thinking more of the people who’ve been talking/playing for awhile and want to end it. If the other person doesn’t want to end it it’s easier to ghost than argue and deal with the consequences. Doesn’t make it right but…
Yea. Ghosting, in that situation seems ... Not fair, but sometimes like the only safe outcome if one party is persistent and the other has one foot out the door.... So to speak.
 
I hope you feel better. Maybe take a break and listen to aggressive music. It helps me. You could listen to this:


Haven't seen the video yet but I guess now I am about to!
this song sounds like it belongs in a movie or tv show with a seduction/sex scene involving a dark industrial dance floor and a dark warehouse loft bedroom with windows and neon lights.
 
It is no shocker to anyone but I think clear and direct communication is best. It can be uncomfortable but I think it is best for all involved.

Breadcrumbing is crappy no matter why the person is doing it. It is important to know that they are aware they are doing it though. I have defintily had times where I felt someone was stringing me along but they claimed to not be aware of how their behavior could be interpreted. By saying something I let them know what it was feeling like to me and made sure we were on the same page moving forward.

Ghosting is also awful. I really don't understand it. If you are just getting to know someone a huge pm about why you're not interested isn't necessary but if you have a thing with someone then letting them know when things change for you is the most adult way to behave. Now this is different from
needing to distance from someone that won't leave you alone or accept no for an answer. I don't think this is ghosting. But if a person was good enough to be a friend or to play with the then they deserve to be treated with basic decency.

When I've been ghosted I'm left wondering if I'm imagining the distance and then what I did wrong. I'd so much rather know it was done and why. It sucks but is better than the stories I tell myself.
I
 
It is no shocker to anyone but I think clear and direct communication is best. It can be uncomfortable but I think it is best for all involved.

Breadcrumbing is crappy no matter why the person is doing it. It is important to know that they are aware they are doing it though. I have defintily had times where I felt someone was stringing me along but they claimed to not be aware of how their behavior could be interpreted. By saying something I let them know what it was feeling like to me and made sure we were on the same page moving forward.

Ghosting is also awful. I really don't understand it. If you are just getting to know someone a huge pm about why you're not interested isn't necessary but if you have a thing with someone then letting them know when things change for you is the most adult way to behave. Now this is different from
needing to distance from someone that won't leave you alone or accept no for an answer. I don't think this is ghosting. But if a person was good enough to be a friend or to play with the then they deserve to be treated with basic decency.

When I've been ghosted I'm left wondering if I'm imagining the distance and then what I did wrong. I'd so much rather know it was done and why. It sucks but is better than the stories I tell myself.
I
This, this, this, this! All very well thought out points. I really appreciate that you took the time to write and think about this, because it hits so many marks. I think, after you've been in a thing with someone for a while, ghosting isn't appropriate unless you have already told them you are no longer interested and they don't take the hint.

For me, I'd rather know someone wasn't interested as soon as possible, because I know I have the tendency to get attached easily if someone does strike my interest (which is so, so rare). I mean, please, just plainly tell me you are not interested so I can get over it and move on with my life!
 
It is no shocker to anyone but I think clear and direct communication is best. It can be uncomfortable but I think it is best for all involved.

Breadcrumbing is crappy no matter why the person is doing it. It is important to know that they are aware they are doing it though. I have defintily had times where I felt someone was stringing me along but they claimed to not be aware of how their behavior could be interpreted. By saying something I let them know what it was feeling like to me and made sure we were on the same page moving forward.

Ghosting is also awful. I really don't understand it. If you are just getting to know someone a huge pm about why you're not interested isn't necessary but if you have a thing with someone then letting them know when things change for you is the most adult way to behave. Now this is different from
needing to distance from someone that won't leave you alone or accept no for an answer. I don't think this is ghosting. But if a person was good enough to be a friend or to play with the then they deserve to be treated with basic decency.

When I've been ghosted I'm left wondering if I'm imagining the distance and then what I did wrong. I'd so much rather know it was done and why. It sucks but is better than the stories I tell myself.
I
I agree with all of this...ultimately it's a relationship and all relationships deserve to be valued. now do i think the majority of people can or will live up to this? no i don't unfortunately. but like you said, if a person is important enough to get you off, they are important enough to deserve an honest conversation or at the very least closure.
 
I'm so grateful that I have a working shower. I feel bad for folks who do not. My friend is on a camping trip right now, and their RV's shower head is broken. What a huge bummer!
 
I'm so grateful that I have a working shower. I feel bad for folks who do not. My friend is on a camping trip right now, and their RV's shower head is broken. What a huge bummer!
the sensory blanket of a hot shower with adequate water pressure mmm
 
Bite my tongue... just be nice. There can be no positive result in speaking my truth tonight, I wouldn't even feel better saying it. Coparenting can be really hard especially when you are the distant one. Kids are safe and happy and that's the only thing that matters. Forget tonight, I'm going to bed 😮‍💨
 
Back
Top