What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

Today would have been my 17th wedding anniversary.
I would’ve been doing the normal ‘anniversary prep’ stuff. Take off work early, get a sitter for the kids because of planning a quick overnight away somewhere, or just planning a date night locally. New lingerie, hair done, etc.. only to either be ignored for the night or have an argument ensue because that’s just how it went.

Instead, I made dinner for the kids and I, had EC playing on every Alexa downstairs, watched my favorite fall movie while cozied up on the couch with my dogs, an overly fluffy blanket and a bottle of wine..and I think it’s the happiest I’ve been in a while. ♥️
 
Today would have been my 17th wedding anniversary.
I would’ve been doing the normal ‘anniversary prep’ stuff. Take off work early, get a sitter for the kids because of planning a quick overnight away somewhere, or just planning a date night locally. New lingerie, hair done, etc.. only to either be ignored for the night or have an argument ensue because that’s just how it went.

Instead, I made dinner for the kids and I, had EC playing on every Alexa downstairs, watched my favorite fall movie while cozied up on the couch with my dogs, an overly fluffy blanket and a bottle of wine..and I think it’s the happiest I’ve been in a while. ♥️
I fucking feel this and love/hate it.

cheers, chica!
 
Just after midnight is not a great time to be thinking deep thoughts about all the big issues and grappling with the reality that I have literally NO IDEA how to solve any of them, let alone know enough about most of them to even make a valid attempt, and then getting sad because my brain isn't big enough or powerful enough to figure out shit that nobody has been able to solve for thousands of years.

No one person solves any of this stuff. It takes communities. It takes compassion and kindness. It takes steel and moral resolve, but also open minds and the flexibility to acknowledge when things are really, really fucking complicated.

I fear it takes better people than we are. And that all we can do is try to be better in whatever tiny ways we can in hope that we make better people down the road who make still better people after them and who finally, maybe, can find some meager path forward that actually resolves any of this.
 
You'd think after three years I'd be used to rushing into work only to be told there's nothing to do for an hour 🤔
 
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