What do you believe a collar represents

[catalina_francisco]

For Mistress and me, it is a sign of ownership, and if there is humiliation it is the kind we mutually enjoy and seek from our respective positions. Lower than Man, no... lower than Mistress as a submissive belonging and surrendered to Her, yes.

I should also say I do not have a physical collar at this time, though I have formally belonged to Her approaching two years. Her physical collaring of me is something we both look forward to and attach a great degree of commitment to. This is a personal and subjective meaning of course, and I recognize that there exist collars as fashion statements, as well as functional play collars - neither of which bother me. Even the (usually cyber) 'velcro' collars are amusing. A collar can and does have many meanings.

For us, that strip of leather around the neck symbolizes the 'final' commitment and will be done in a 24/7 setting only. On the other hand, it is 'just a strip of leather around the neck', as my commitment to Her is no less without the physical symbol... though when the time is right, it will bring us both an immense amount of perhaps corny joy, which is worth waiting for.

Oh, and as a P.S. we do plan on having a permanent marking of some sort somewhere along the way (on me), with or after the physical collaring... and yes, that does give both of our practical sides much pause, but it's part of what makes those (hopefully!) once in a lifetime experiences. We aren't rushing into either of these symbols.

Well stated as we have come to expect from you L_S. Collars are held to mean several things but as you said for you it is deep commitment. As to the mark, I have my first cutting, and as a varient to the normal expectation, Master wishes me to give him a cutting also in recognition of our commitment and his role as my Master. Am working on getting the courage to take blade in steady hand, wipe the sweat out of my eyes, and cut..LOL.

Catalina

 

[replicant]

Well honey I think you have missed the point in lots of areas from your postings. Personally speaking, I would be more humiliated, bored, and disgusted if Master expected me to dress in a fur collar with ears and tail as you suggest you do. Strange how you see that as acceptable, but not an honoured tradition that marks someone respectfully as belonging to another. I in no way am humiliated by my collar and wear it at all times...same collar, not a variety to disguise the purpose in different settings.

Catalina

Please point out where I missed points "in lots of areas". My point was well stated as to how *I* viewed collars and a bit of history/modern interpretation of their usage or symbolism. The Catgirl outfit I mentioned is merely a fetish and my sub knows that if at any time she is uncomfortable with any request that she has the right to voice her opinion. She particularly enjoys the outfit, so no harm, no foul. My acceptance of the collar in the Catgirl outfit is because of it's inherent playful nature. It is merely a roleplaying outlet in a less intense atmosphere. It also should be noted that you missunderstood and missinterpreted my statements. A collar has always been a form of an humiliation tool, because you are lowering your subject to the level of an untrained dog. Just because you accept it's modern usage doesn't reduce it's history in any fashion. If you enjoy the wearing of a collar to please your Superior, then so be it. That is part of your acceptance and relationship with him/her. This "Honoured" tradition is just another machination of BDSM society trying to standardize fetishistic behavior. It's sad that everything even pleasure has to be easily categorized and uniformed for the masses. Practice BDSM from your heart and mind and not from some damn rulebook.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Please point out where I missed points "in lots of areas". My point was well stated as to how *I* viewed collars and a bit of history/modern interpretation of their usage or symbolism. The Catgirl outfit I mentioned is merely a fetish and my sub knows that if at any time she is uncomfortable with any request that she has the right to voice her opinion. She particularly enjoys the outfit, so no harm, no foul. My acceptance of the collar in the Catgirl outfit is because of it's inherent playful nature. It is merely a roleplaying outlet in a less intense atmosphere. It also should be noted that you missunderstood and missinterpreted my statements. A collar has always been a form of an humiliation tool, because you are lowering your subject to the level of an untrained dog. Just because you accept it's modern usage doesn't reduce it's history in any fashion. If you enjoy the wearing of a collar to please your Superior, then so be it. That is part of your acceptance and relationship with him/her. This "Honoured" tradition is just another machination of BDSM society trying to standardize fetishistic behavior. It's sad that everything even pleasure has to be easily categorized and uniformed for the masses. Practice BDSM from your heart and mind and not from some damn rulebook.

The postings I referred to were pluralised to mean just that, not this one only. Off the top of my head for example your interpretation in another thread of how one goes about becoming the 'best' and most appropiate Top/Master which I take it is the way you did it, so of course it is the only and best way. This thought pattern is inherent throughout your posts in its arrogant portrayal of your way, is the only way and though others may be tolerated by you, it is in the most patronising of ways, as of course the rest are below you. I prefer to learn from those who have a different viewpoint and way and respect that while reaching an understanding of sorts of who they are.

As to rulebooks, I don't have one except for those of Master. Your historical facts are ill informed I would suggest, or at the very least you are taking something and interpreting it into a different context, namely into BDSM, because that is your interpretation which suits your needs. I get the sense you project your hidden views onto others, such as the term 'Superior' instead of the usual Master, Dominant, Owner, or Top frequently used by the majority of lifestylers, both short and long term, because you actually view your sub as inferior and do not respect her as most Dominants would.

As for practicing from the heart etc.....is the only way we feel comfortable doing it. I don't see BDSM as a fetish, more a community, not society...that rings too much of 'secret society' mentality. BDSM is our way of life 24/7. As for catoregorising sexualities and pleasure...well it sure as hell makes it easier to find someone you are compatible with then without some identifying factors. What do you suggest putting in a profile? Person looking for a person? Believe me, even with the categories and clearly defined interests you have to sort the thick headed incompatibles from the worth a try bunch.

Catalina

 

[Master Bill]

Originally posted by catalina_francisco
The postings I referred to were pluralised to mean just that, not this one only. Off the top of my head for example your interpretation in another thread of how one goes about becoming the 'best' and most appropiate Top/Master which I take it is the way you did it, so of course it is the only and best way. This thought pattern is inherent throughout your posts in its arrogant portrayal of your way, is the only way and though others may be tolerated by you, it is in the most patronising of ways, as of course the rest are below you. I prefer to learn from those who have a different viewpoint and way and respect that while reaching an understanding of sorts of who they are.

As to rulebooks, I don't have one except for those of Master. Your historical facts are ill informed I would suggest, or at the very least you are taking something and interpreting it into a different context, namely into BDSM, because that is your interpretation which suits your needs. I get the sense you project your hidden views onto others, such as the term 'Superior' instead of the usual Master, Dominant, Owner, or Top frequently used by the majority of lifestylers, both short and long term, because you actually view your sub as inferior and do not respect her as most Dominants would.

As for practicing from the heart etc.....is the only way we feel comfortable doing it. I don't see BDSM as a fetish, more a community, not society...that rings too much of 'secret society' mentality. BDSM is our way of life 24/7. As for catoregorising sexualities and pleasure...well it sure as hell makes it easier to find someone you are compatible with then without some identifying factors. What do you suggest putting in a profile? Person looking for a person? Believe me, even with the categories and clearly defined interests you have to sort the thick headed incompatibles from the worth a try bunch.

Catalina

very well put Catalina .... very good .... Master Bill

 

[catalina_francisco]

very well put Catalina .... very good .... Master Bill

Thank you for your kind words.

Catalina

 

[lark sparrow]

Well stated as we have come to expect from you L_S. Collars are held to mean several things but as you said for you it is deep commitment. As to the mark, I have my first cutting, and as a varient to the normal expectation, Master wishes me to give him a cutting also in recognition of our commitment and his role as my Master. Am working on getting the courage to take blade in steady hand, wipe the sweat out of my eyes, and cut..LOL.

Catalina

Thanks, Catalina. I've enjoyed your posts on the topic as well, and I am following both your and Francisco's postings to the 'marks of possession' thread with interest. The exchanged cuttings is an interesting idea - I can relate to the symbolism, as well as the difficulty in giving the cutting!

 

[Quixotica]

Wow. The more I read here the more I realize that we are all making it up as we go along. Good for us! We take bits and pieces of this or that and apply it, assimilate it or delete it from how we choose to personally define our lives and ourselves.

So... a collar can be as important as a wedding ring or as frivolous as a Cat Girl costume. Hey, there's no "right" answer here as long as everyone is enjoying him or her self.

As for me, I did a lot of soul searching about the significance of my Master's collar. What does it mean to be "collared"? What does he think being collared means? How do I personally feel about being collared?

Well, in its utter simplicity, I see wearing his collar as a constant physical reminder that I am owned. Being owned by him (which is to say that I do not wish to be owned by merely anybody), brings me an incredible sense of peace and wellbeing in an otherwise chaotic and confusing world. To reach up and feel his collar around my neck, especially during the day when we are apart, reassures me that his arms and his heart are waiting for me to burrow into when I get home.

 

[Richard49]

If my memory serves me right
there was once a post that gave links to collaring rituals

These rituals might give us some clues

Can someone try to find these?

 

[FungiUg]

So... a collar can be as important as a wedding ring or as frivolous as a Cat Girl costume. Hey, there's no "right" answer here as long as everyone is enjoying him or her self.

Mmmmm... Cat Girl costumes....

 

[Soron]

The collar in BDSM circles today is a mere cliche of what it once was. It's interesting to look on web sites and in adult stores, and see the types of collars available. Collars, at least here in my BDSM community, mostly mean nothing more than a place to attach a leash. The ones that make me chuckle the most are the ones that have 'Bitch' or 'Slut' or 'Slave' stencilled in the front. To each his own, I say.

I'm a practicing BDSM'er for twenty odd years. I've had only one person to wear my collar so far. Our collaring ceremony was done, sentimentally, as our commitment to each other. In the ceremony it represented our trust and devotion to the other. Quite honestly, I never tired of seeing her wear it. It is merely a symbol, but for me, it was a symbol that meant something incredible. To each his own.

 

[serijules]

I was collared briefly during my first BDSM relationship...and at the time I didn't understand it, but it wasn't right for me to wear a collar he gave me. Rather, I needed him to take the collar that I already had (my play collar...I had purchased it for novelty looks once just because it was so pretty) and make it his. I didn't want the collar itself as a physical item to have all the meaning just because of what it was...I wanted it to be special because we made it special. I still have that collar in my toy bag as a play collar, and now that the original relationship is over, it no longer holds any meaning to me other than a really beautiful (black suede and crystal) collar that I feel reflects my personality and I love to look at and play wear.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Wow. The more I read here the more I realize that we are all making it up as we go along. Good for us! We take bits and pieces of this or that and apply it, assimilate it or delete it from how we choose to personally define our lives and ourselves.

So... a collar can be as important as a wedding ring or as frivolous as a Cat Girl costume. Hey, there's no "right" answer here as long as everyone is enjoying him or her self.

As for me, I did a lot of soul searching about the significance of my Master's collar. What does it mean to be "collared"? What does he think being collared means? How do I personally feel about being collared?

Well, in its utter simplicity, I see wearing his collar as a constant physical reminder that I am owned. Being owned by him (which is to say that I do not wish to be owned by merely anybody), brings me an incredible sense of peace and wellbeing in an otherwise chaotic and confusing world. To reach up and feel his collar around my neck, especially during the day when we are apart, reassures me that his arms and his heart are waiting for me to burrow into when I get home.

Well to each their own but I think most who are serious about the commitment they make see the collar as representative of the deep connection they have, which is as you have expressed. It is also a constant reminder to me of my Master's ownership and all that signifies. But there are many to whom it is all a bit of a game...for them I feel sorry as they are missing something which is very special and valuable.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I was collared briefly during my first BDSM relationship...and at the time I didn't understand it, but it wasn't right for me to wear a collar he gave me. Rather, I needed him to take the collar that I already had (my play collar...I had purchased it for novelty looks once just because it was so pretty) and make it his. I didn't want the collar itself as a physical item to have all the meaning just because of what it was...I wanted it to be special because we made it special. I still have that collar in my toy bag as a play collar, and now that the original relationship is over, it no longer holds any meaning to me other than a really beautiful (black suede and crystal) collar that I feel reflects my personality and I love to look at and play wear.

It is good you have been able to have that insight into yourself and your needs serijules. I like to think each experience helps us to know ourselves and our needs more, whether they gel with those of others or not, the relevance to ourselves is what counts.

Catalina

 

[replicant]

Well to each their own but I think most who are serious about the commitment they make see the collar as representative of the deep connection they have, which is as you have expressed. It is also a constant reminder to me of my Master's ownership and all that signifies. But there are many to whom it is all a bit of a game...for them I feel sorry as they are missing something which is very special and valuable.

Catalina

It's is so beautiful that you like to think of me as arrogant after you make such bold statements as this. Anyone in the BDSM lifestyle who doesn't believe in collaring as a representation of a deep connection isn't serious about their lifestyle choice? That is truly great.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The collar in BDSM circles today is a mere cliche of what it once was. It's interesting to look on web sites and in adult stores, and see the types of collars available. Collars, at least here in my BDSM community, mostly mean nothing more than a place to attach a leash. The ones that make me chuckle the most are the ones that have 'Bitch' or 'Slut' or 'Slave' stencilled in the front. To each his own, I say.

I'm a practicing BDSM'er for twenty odd years. I've had only one person to wear my collar so far. Our collaring ceremony was done, sentimentally, as our commitment to each other. In the ceremony it represented our trust and devotion to the other. Quite honestly, I never tired of seeing her wear it. It is merely a symbol, but for me, it was a symbol that meant something incredible. To each his own.

It is nice to hear from someone who respects the symbolism and does not cave in to the gluttony of modern society where anything goes and you take what you want and forget the true meaning. My collar is a plain black leather band, no fancy additives, no fashion statements. I wear it at all times, only removing it when I shower or swim. I know many have a selection to suit the occasion and what they are wearing, but for me I cannot transfer the significance to an array of collars and feel the same level of significance and reverence I feel for the one which was placed around my neck by Master as a symbol of our commitment.

Though many tried to collar me, passing it off as of no significance, it was not my understanding or reality, so Master is the only one who has, or ever will collar me, as I am the only one he has offered his collar to. It is reassuring to know it is not something which has been done as part of a succession of relationships for either of us, instead being reserved for that one we felt was meant for us. Perhaps that is why some do not understand how we can say we are in a 24/7 lifetime commitment and mean it as for them such rituals and symbols have become trivialised and easy to achieve without attaching any significance to their existence.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

It's is so beautiful that you like to think of me as arrogant after you make such bold statements as this. Anyone in the BDSM lifestyle who doesn't believe in collaring as a representation of a deep connection isn't serious about their lifestyle choice? That is truly great.

Oh good morning.....yes I agree it is beautiful and you know what is even more beautiful? From the postings I read yesterday I am not alone. Unfortunately you are having trouble understanding many of the statements people post, your ability to comprehend plain english a difficulty for you, or perhaps a symptom of a closed mind which is consumed by an agenda I suspect many already have identified. When, and if you ever choose to open your mind and learn from others, it may be worth watching. You live your life as you choose and I for one am pleased you do and that I have not got to be part of that type of life.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

If my memory serves me right
there was once a post that gave links to collaring rituals

These rituals might give us some clues

Can someone try to find these?

Will try to see if I can find them today Richard as there are some quite good ones I have read in the past.

Catalina

 

[replicant]

Oh good morning.....yes I agree it is beautiful and you know what is even more beautiful? From the postings I read yesterday I am not alone. Unfortunately you are having trouble understanding many of the statements people post, your ability to comprehend plain english a difficulty for you, or perhaps a symptom of a closed mind which is consumed by an agenda I suspect many already have identified. When, and if you ever choose to open your mind and learn from others, it may be worth watching. You live your life as you choose and I for one am pleased you do and that I have not got to be part of that type of life.

Catalina

It is so tragic that you try and inform me to gain the "ability" to comprehend plain english and you yourself are an absolute failure at it. Please use http://www.dictionary.com to understand such concepts as "Sarcasm" that exist within standardized english. Now if you just want to reply to this posting solely out of a desire to have the last word, then so be it. I myself have grown very tired of you and will allow you to contine to dwell in your mediocrity without my input. Your "Symbolism" I will leave you with, but remember that no matter how you want to paint it and make it your own it still has it's roots in history for what it is.

Easter was a fertility festival prior to christian motivations.
A Kama was a tool used by chinese farmers to harvest prior to it becoming a weapon.
A collar was used as a symbol of humiliation and ownership well before it was turned into a trendy BDSM apparel piece.

Items have many meanings and symbolism is created by those who use such items the most. Just because someone doesn't respect such a device (Ex: Collar) as much as you does not make them any less of a practioner of their given lifestyle. If you want to see a true collaring ceremony, then go rent Roots. It feels as if most of you are some kind of Yahoo/Geocities BDSM fashion accessory. Make the lifestyle what you want it to be, but stop trying to make it sterile and generic like most marriages.

 

[Arden]

.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm thoroughly confused here, Catalina. I thought for a moment that this was your thread, but found out it was started by Richard, whom I hold a great deal of respect for even if I don't regularly post to his threads.

Your reply was quite beautiful, but how you relate your reply to what you quoted is beyond me. Forget about caving into the gluttony of modern society, etc. The author of the post spoke of a true committment to each another, and little more other than what it meant in his heart. The case of a collar being a fashion statement has long been worn out in this thread and others.

I agree that anyone can or should be content with a simple leather collar It's what's in your heart that counts. However, you chose to relate the fact that many others have tried to collar you. So what? That sounds like bragging to me.

I don't think we have any difficulty comprehending your statements. You have taken on a lot in trying to answer almost every post to this thread. You also seem to have taken on the entire BDSM community here as something that you need to change. That's a difficult task. While I applaud your efforts, no one person can cause change - unless they are respected by all. We all have different voices and opinions... none of which are less important than your own.

I apologise if you are offended but I guess it is more a communication problem in that we may deal differently with people in life. If I read someone's entry I like, I find nothing wrong with responding in a friendly manner and discussing the subject which is what I believed the threads to be about...a sense of sharing, evolving, and discussing BDSM.

Part of my responses at the moment too may be a desire to get the board back to discussing BDSM and not the changes which have dominated discussion for the past couple of days...if I respond, then another, and another, the discussion and exchange continues.

Another part of my desire to respond to others and communicate is I am used to being surrounded by family, friends, colleagues and strangers with whom I am able to communicate. I now find myself in an environment where I do not speak the language so the only form of verbal communication is almost exclusively with Master, which despite his assurance otherwise, I am sure is sometimes hard at the end of a long day working. So I felt I had become part of a community I relate to and have a similar interest in which provides me with a needed outlet as well as healthy exchange of ideas and values. To me it has helped maintain my sanity in times when I ached to converse with anyone about anything, the added bonus here being it is related to my lifestyle 24/7.

I am very reclusive by nature, but also friendly and noted for being there when needed by anyone, even those who have often treated me in less than favourable ways. It is who I am and I also enjoy community and communication. As I have stated often, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, and I have never seen I am trying to change the community, but have as much right as any to express how I interpret and see things.

I must admit it has been awhile since I read through the rules, but if I missed a section on number of posts, length, or number of people on a thread you are allowed to respond to, or the limiting of responses to a majority by the thread starter only, or the number of threads allowed to be responded to, I apologise and stand corrected. It may also be worth noting Master and I respond under the same profile/postname.

To me I thought open exchange of thoughts etc. were just that. When I start a thread, I want as much discourse as is possible and do not care if someone contributes 20 or more times in response to other postings as I feel the more the better to give deeper understanding and tolerence to all involved...but that is just my way. Once again I apologise and will try to refrain from over contributing.

Catalina

 

[Master Bill]

Originally posted by catalina_francisco
I apologise if you are offended but I guess it is more a communication problem in that we may deal differently with people in life. If I read someone's entry I like, I find nothing wrong with responding in a friendly manner and discussing the subject which is what I believed the threads to be about...a sense of sharing, evolving, and discussing BDSM. Part of my responses at the moment too may be a desire to get the board back to discussing BDSM and not the changes which have dominated discussion for the past couple of days...if I respond, then another, and another, the discussion and exchange continues.

I am very reclusive by nature, but also friendly and noted for being there when needed by anyone, even those who have often treated me in less than favourable ways. It is who I am and I also enjoy community and communication. As I have stated often, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, and I have never seen I am trying to change the community, but have as much right as any to express how I interpret and see things.

I must admit it has been awhile since I read through the rules, but if I missed a section on number of posts, length, or number of people on a thread you are allowed to respond to, or the limiting of responses to a majority by the thread starter only, I apologise and stand corrected. To me I thought open exchange of thoughts etc. were just that. When I start a thread, I want as much discourse as is possible and do not care if someone contributes 20 or more times in response to other postings as I feel the more the better to give deeper understanding and tolerence to all involved...but that is just my way. Once again I apologise and will try to refrain from over contributing.

Catalina

well again Catalina i think you do a great job ...... i dont respond often but it seems like i more side with you .... i do happen to think a collar is important to a relationship ... if you want to wear one as a fashion so be it .... but to me and those who wear mine it is important ....... Master Bill

 

[lark sparrow]

Items have many meanings and symbolism is created by those who use such items the most. Just because someone doesn't respect such a device (Ex: Collar) as much as you does not make them any less of a practioner of their given lifestyle. If you want to see a true collaring ceremony, then go rent Roots. It feels as if most of you are some kind of Yahoo/Geocities BDSM fashion accessory. Make the lifestyle what you want it to be, but stop trying to make it sterile and generic like most marriages.

I responded to the question with what a collar means between Mistress and I, as She is the one I am partnered to in a BDSM relationship. However, not liking collars at all, liking collars as a fashion statement, seeing them as functional play tools and any other personal opinion or concept on collars is perfectly acceptable to me. I'm not personally offended by any of the uses or meanings, nor do I personally think people are missing out if they don't hold a collar as a traditional and long-standing BDSM commitment.

Labeling "most of you are BDSM Fashion accessories" and "sterile and generic like most marriages" are hardly dynamic and individualistic thoughts and opinions you are expressing - seems to me there was a wide variety of opinions and meanings shared here. If you don't like what one person has said it's hardly a reason to make blanket statements and paint everyone with the same brush. It kind of defeats the purpose of individuality if everyone must be an individual just like you.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

i got a chuckle out of reading thru the range of collar descriptions.

i'll not belittle any of the choices.

i prefer subtle and the reason should explain what i believe the collar represents as well.

Think of a necklace, a piece of jewelry, made of platinum links triangular in shape. When held in your hand, you can't believe the light weight. When worn, the only adequate description i can come up with is "spider web."

To the vanilla world, she has good taste in accessories.

To those in the lifestyle, sooner or later, the sharper nails in the box will figure out the significance.

To the submissive, at times, the collar feels diaphanous. At others, she realizes why Atlas shrugged. But always, thru rain and shine, the collar gives her a touchstone when i'm not near.

To the Master? i've spun that web. Don't get lost in analogies of puppeteer and marionette. i chose something light, yet resilient for a reason. In the end, i offered control and she accepted.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, came across this in my travels and it was a cute trip down memory lane.

Catalina

 

[serijules]

A few people have already expressed my own thought (in a much shorter and more to the point way, I'm long winded at best) but I'm in a talkative mood, so...

I don't see anything wrong with wearing collars if you are not owned. I don't think they deserve any more exclusivity than say, a ring, or even any other piece of BDSM wear. I have been "collared" withen a scene before, just to add that touch of submission to the scene itself, but it had no meaning other than that, and it did its job very well. (hrm, I'll attach story link to bottom of post if anyone is bored and wants to read about it)

Anyhow...I feel that the collar itself is just a collar, and what two people make it into other than that, is between them and to be shared with others as they wish. (aka, I don't support making assumptions on relationships based on a physical item). I have a Domme, but I am not collared to her. I belong to her in every way that matters to both of us, minus that official "collared" status. We both feel that when the time is right, if the time is right, that will happen for us....but a collaring is like a wedding, and neither of us take that level of commitment lightly. I still belong to her, and I don't need a collar to prove it, to myself or to anyone else. Something about that shared feeling makes the relationship all the more stronger for us.

I do find collars very sexy, very appealing, wonderful submissive tools. I love having something that I have attached a deep personal meaning to, so collars and "everyday" collars are very special things. My Domme gave me a pair of slave-bell nipple clamps last time we were together and I so loved wearing those and showing them off. I have a tattoo that those that know us, associate with our relationship and I love when that connection is made. I just don't feel that those feelings and meanings need to be exclusive to collars themselves. I get really annoyed when people ask us "so when are you going to collar her??" as if that is the only thing that will make our relationship real enough.

So, to answer the question finally...I feel that collars are simply what you make them to be. Be it one of many many ways to show ownership, to give value and meaning to something that is physically useful in play, to simply use it productively to keep a submissive by your side and have something to grab him or her by and pull them close to you and whisper naughty wonders in their ears....although my nipple bells work very very well for this too


Lasting Impressions

Gosh it's weird to read back on posts like this and realize how much has changed. The relationship spoke of in the post ended not that long after this post was made, and oddly enough, the lack of a collar or her unwillingness to go in that direction WAS a factor in our break up. I needed to know she would at least consider collaring me, she didn't want to be "tied down" like that. That led to insecurity on my part since she otherwise acted like I was hers in every other way, and that just didn't work very well for me. (There were many other reasons for us parting ways, but that was a biggie). It's funny how I tried to make excuses and defend the reasons for a lack of collar in this reply; reading back on it I can read between the lines and SEE that defensiveness and read that "I'm trying to find the good in a bad situation" tone. She was a great Top and a good friend, she just wasn't the person I was meant to be with.

My feelings on collars are still much the same as in that post, but I will say that being collared for two years now to someone that I knew I belonged with even when I was with others...I'm very glad that things worked out the way they did, and I was "saved" for D so to speak. I love my slave collar (see AV) and my everyday collar, they are a comfort for me. The meaning the collar holds is credit of the relationship, but the collar itself is a wonderful physical reminder.