What has being kinky cost you?

[What_Motivates_a_Man]

So far, my kink has just made me a target for getting used and abused. And stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't provide for me but wants the perks.

Man I'm sorry to hear that. Lots of people in the lifestyle are some of the sweetest, most genuine people. But then there are those who use it to prey on others.

I can't offer much, but I can offer my apologies.

 

[apom]

Playing slave to a guy online cost me my job a few years ago and another behavior cost me places to live earlier on. I like sacrificing myself to make others' lives better, which has cost me money and caused me a lot of pain and humiliation, but it makes me feel useful so it's worth it.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

Anyone here ever wonder “what if I wasn’t dom/sub or into feet/cuckolding/etc.?” Do you think your life or your relationships would be better?

Wishful thinking of course… if we could get rid of our preferences that easily, kinks wouldn’t really exist at all.

That’s hard to answer. If I didn’t have kinks then I wouldn’t know what I was missing. I would have ended up having relationships with women that my kink self wasn’t compatible with.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Playing slave to a guy online cost me my job a few years ago and another behavior cost me places to live earlier on. I like sacrificing myself to make others' lives better, which has cost me money and caused me a lot of pain and humiliation, but it makes me feel useful so it's worth it.

That’s rough. Hope you’re doing better now. How did you lose your job? Did he out you to your workplace, or was it something else?

 

[Yarglenurp]

That’s hard to answer. If I didn’t have kinks then I wouldn’t know what I was missing. I would have ended up having relationships with women that my kink self wasn’t compatible with.

It is definitely a hypothetical, since I don’t think having a kink is something people can choose. I think for many, the opposite is true… because of their kinks that they can’t get rid of, they end otherwise good relationships and embrace very toxic ones.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

It is definitely a hypothetical, since I don’t think having a kink is something people can choose. I think for many, the opposite is true… because of their kinks that they can’t get rid of, they end otherwise good relationships and embrace very toxic ones.

Or they settle and live in secret and unfulfilled.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Or they settle and live in secret and unfulfilled.

Settling sucks.

 

[Cardinal]

And the follow-up question I suppose is…has exploring those interests and predilections brought a sense of wholeness and sexual liberation, or do you feel in some sense captive to those desires? Do you ever wish you didn’t have them? As someone who has not fully explored his own kinky inclinations, I wonder if you feel the journey has been worth it.

As long as your kinks or desires don’t hurt someone else (not talking about sadism) then you should explore your kinks. Why not? God gave you a brain to think and fantasize live it out.
If it doesn’t turn out to be as great as you thought it would then don’t do it again.

 

[KingDavid234]

It once costed me $1.99 per minute. Not doing that again!

 

[Britva415]

I don’t think having a kink is something people can choose. I think for many, the opposite is true… because of their kinks that they can’t get rid of, they end otherwise good relationships and embrace very toxic ones.

I kind of feel like we're talking about where the line is between kink (optional) versus fetish (obligatory).

Not to say that people don't have kinks they didn't choose - of course that happens, but, people can definitely choose kinks.

 

[wouldloveto]

Being kinky has 'cost' me the price of a bunch of toys. It has rewarded me with many great experiences.

 

[Yarglenurp]

I kind of feel like we're talking about where the line is between kink (optional) versus fetish (obligatory).

Not to say that people don't have kinks they didn't choose - of course that happens, but, people can definitely choose kinks.

Ok, sure. Fetish then.

I honestly don’t think there’s any formal restriction on either term being option/obligatory… I’ve seen a lot of people use the terms interchangeably, with “kink” being used when they’re trying to portray it as something more minor or with less planning involved.

 

[live4thebj]

I wouldn’t have married my exwife if I wasn’t thinking with my dick. She is fat and ugly but man she can suck a cock.

 

[Stromer]

My brother in law told me my ex-wife was telling her family that one of the reasons she left was because I was to kinky for her. That separation ended up in my losing a good paying job since I worked for her father.
But, I gained so much more sexually with her leaving. I met and had several FWB and girlfriends that shared the same sexual interest that I had. Eventually I met Mrs. Stromer. She was considered to be fairly reserved and a proper mother of 5. Not even her best friends knew she was so sexually starved after 21 one years with her ex.
I discovered she was pretty open minded about sex and started exploring with her on our second date. We have spent over 20 years checking off our sexual bucket lists together, and yes, some of those thing have been on the kinky side.
So I actually gained from my being too kinky for my ex. Truth is, my ex and I were young when we started dating, eventually got married, and just grew apart as we matured. Her leaving honestly was the best thing that happened to my sex life, and Mrs. Stromers.

 

[stiv837]

I was having a relationship with a married woman in the late eighties. She was well known for being a very easy piece of ass before she married and getting married didn't change that after her first few years of being married. She was lots of fun , was kinky and a great cocksucker. After a couple of months of meeting while her husband was at work , I suggested to her about having a three some with one of my friends. She got mad and ended are affair because of my suggestion. It took me by surprise because she was open to so many things ,but not that.

 

[xdresssissytoes]

My traditional Catholic/hetero mold was shattered....releasing the femme kinky slut inside!

 

[Lovealippy]

Nothing.