What I have learned at Lit/BDSM

[James G 5]

No, I just think men sometimes have a problem verbalising their thoughts, while others like that air of secrecy lurking gives them.

Catalina

It's not that we have a problem, it's that we've been taught not to
And often, no one wants to listen
It's a truism that women say they want men to communicate more, but then get tired of it when we do LOL

 

[MissTaken]

Just a thought:

I began my journey into BDSM on line a bit more than two years ago.

Lit helped me to learn more about real time D/s and in a shorter amount of time than if I had simply struggled on my own. Lit has always had real people posting about real experiences and real highs and real lows.

Yes, I charged out into the BDSM world and made some grand mistakes in my first year, but always had lit to come back to. Maybe an old thread or a new thread would help me to see where it was I was erring, offer encouragement or just a dose of reality. Sometimes, the best purpose served was for lit to help me laugh at myself a bit.

The irony of an on line community assisting me in real time D/s as much as lit has just occured to me.



,

 

[MissTaken]

It's not that we have a problem, it's that we've been taught not to
And often, no one wants to listen
It's a truism that women say they want men to communicate more, but then get tired of it when we do LOL

Ya but, you have to be able to communicate about more than football and brands of beer!

 

[James G 5]

Ya but, you have to be able to communicate about more than football and brands of beer!

I don't watch football & I drink fine wine

 

[MissTaken]

I don't watch football & I drink fine wine

One of the many reasons I dig you!

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL

You kill me with those emoticons

Oh well, here are 2 that just never fail to remind me of you.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

It's not that we have a problem, it's that we've been taught not to
And often, no one wants to listen
It's a truism that women say they want men to communicate more, but then get tired of it when we do LOL

While I agree some of the stereotypical macho image includes being the strong, silent type, I think it was more instigated and maintained by males to other males. My experience has been for myself and many female friends, we actually have more male friends of the variety who hold lengthy and intellectual/intelligent conversations about a wide variety of topics of which they are always encouraged. Is a bit like playing the victim to say it is trained or the fault of women not wanting...there are always going to be plenty of women out there who love a man who can and will talk....haven't you noticed the number of women who adore gay males as friends simply because they can and do willingly converse? And unfortunately, ther are many studies that show over the years that women are more geared toward articulating their thoughts than males in general....just a brain thing, not a failing.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

When the going gets tough...

is when you discover who and how many friends you have.

Without getting all sappy, I have tried to find a way to thank my friends for being my friends. This is the best I can do.

Thank you.

And this is my Lesson #11.

 

[A Desert Rose]

and for my chocolate loving friends...

 

[MissTaken]

Yummmmm


Bring on the chocolate!



And yes, for all the lessons learned, it is nice to have a place to go and people you haven't met really DO care what's going on in your life.

 

[cellis]

Rose Honey if you were here this morning we could have pumpkin cheesecake that I made last night and coffee...

oh and thanks for the roses and chocolate... I love them both, as I love you!

 

[esclave_PP]

Those chocolates do look divine! Yum!

 

[redelicious]

Re: and for my chocolate loving friends...

<pic snipped>

Can I be your friend too?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: and for my chocolate loving friends...

Can I be your friend too?

I thought you were my friend? ;-)


(OTC... over the counter.... off the cuff.... omit the crap... OFF TOPIC CONVERSATION... took me a while but I got it, just before your pm came. LOL)

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yummmmm


Bring on the chocolate!



And yes, for all the lessons learned, it is nice to have a place to go and people you haven't met really DO care what's going on in your life.

You have been great. I don't want to get all sappy but you need to know just how appreciated you are... by very many people here.

Rose Honey if you were here this morning we could have pumpkin cheesecake that I made last night and coffee...

oh and thanks for the roses and chocolate... I love them both, as I love you!

Cheeesecake! OMG yesssssssss..... and you made this cheesecake your very own self, too I suppose? Coffee, cheesecake and you and me at the same table... what a day that would be!

Those chocolates do look divine! Yum!

They would look better enroute to our mouths, don't you think? LOL One right after another.... yep!

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Re: and for my chocolate loving friends...

I thought you were my friend? ;-)


(OTC... over the counter.... off the cuff.... omit the crap... OFF TOPIC CONVERSATION... took me a while but I got it, just before your pm came. LOL)

Yay, I'm friends with Rose!

(it's ok, for a second I thought maybe I had accidentally invented a phrase)


And as to the topic...

I've learned not just to accept myself, but how and probably why.

And to be more accepting of others... though perhaps less trusting.

And probably a multitude of other things that will occur to me on the way to work, or as I'm brushing my teeth. That's when the good thinking happens.

 

[A Desert Rose]

We never really learn our lesson

Lesson #12

Well, well, well. Our favorite troll. Back for some more.

Didn't you ask all these questions a few months ago??

Things slow over on the GB again?

Unless you stop feeding her folks, she won't go away. *sigh*

She'll couch her nasty comments, in subtle statements like the ones right here



quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett
Dictating when and if you can cut your own hair... there's no logic to the whole idea. <snip>

The only thing is, BDSM takes everything to it's extreme.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Personally, I think she sucked up way too much bandwith LAST time.

~anelize



...and anelize said it better than I ever could.

 

[Quint]

Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett

Funnily enough, the thought that there are people out there who eat shit doesn't bother me as much as the whole domination/submission thing did. I'm a bit over both now actually.

I may be harbouring some secret submissive desires or something, I don't really know.

But yeah, you're right. Like, I don't really care, I was just trying to have a go at understanding.

Am I enlightened now? Have I found "the path"?

Doubt it.

But I'm happy. I wouldn't defend my lifestyle to a single fucking person who meant nothing to me, much as I mean nothing to all of you. It amazes me that so many of you replied at all.

Anyway, that's all I got for now...

And

Originally posted by Quint

But speaking of trolls, I think that most people deserve second chances. Obvious, individual-poster-directed trolls usually don't fall into this category, but someone who steps on a few feet upon entering the forum may. I think eating_scarlett left here having learned something valuable about our community, and that's definitely worth a few callous judgments in my opinion. I've been stupid too, and I'm always glad to get my second chance.

I still stand by it.

 

[MissTaken]

As for trolling,

Lesson #1345.87 Part B

Don't troll anyone who is articulate and self confident. The best victims are weaklings.

And we dont' have any here, so any trolling may stir up a storm of posts, but trolls don't win here.

Or haven't yet.

We are some of the most strong willed, articulate,. self confident bunch of freaks to meet on the net. No?

 

[Desdemona]

Here's another lesson. Things aren't always as they seem. Sometimes you have to read between the lines.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Normally, unless I am responding to someone or a song strikes my fancy, I don't bump my own threads.

This one however, bears bumping, I think. There are so many good thoughts from so very many people. Their additions put a lot of things into perspective.

And again, I want to thank every one of you who added your "lessons" here. Anyone who has any thing to add... thank you in advance.

 

[shy slave]

Glad you bumped this ADR

Great thread, there are so many of us newbies since this thread was orginally started

In a short time of lurking and posting I have learnt:

1. Not everyone is what they seem.
2. Some people live the life, some want to live the life and some are in the middle.
3. Interesting threads sometimes end up hurting people, offending people, being humourous... or all three.
4.Vanilla sex is weird.
5. It can be difficult to get your point across without using body language.
6. There is so much knowledge/information/fun/weirdness/points of view on this site, that everyone could learn something.
7.Not everyone wants to learn.
8.Its a place to learn manners, respect others point of view and not take it personally.
9.Its a place where no question or answer is weird/wrong/out of place or odd (well ok maybe some are, but see point 8)
10.Distance is not a problem, when you need some help, advice or cheering up; there is always something new to read.
11.Shadowsdream talks sense, but She scares me.
12.My posts are always way, way too long.

xx

 

[Kajira Callista]

heh

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Glad you bumped this ADR

11.Shadowsdream talks sense, but She scares me.
xx

She is scary, but in a fun way as well. I've had fantasies of sending a naughty sub to her, and having them come back and forever promise to be good. I have one in mind right now.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Glad you bumped this ADR

Great thread, there are so many of us newbies since this thread was orginally started

In a short time of lurking and posting I have learnt:

4.Vanilla sex is weird....

xx

Great post, but #4 is pretty funnyl

heh

I don't know what this means, but I won't take it personally.


It was fun for me to re-read this thread today. There are a great many faces in here who are seldom or never seen ... JamesG, Harry, RS, WillowPuss... just to name a few. I miss them and I'm sure I'm not alone. So many of them gave me a lot to think about.

I'm pleased that over 50 people read this thread since I drudged it up again. And I hope that others will share their thoughts, too.