What to do when the Majority can't handle a Minority of One

[where]

And, presumably, your master has to be a man, because your hetero, and you really love men. Maybe, one particular man.

But--and this is pretty crucial when you think about it-- You don't automatically assume that all men are masters of women. Some men do-- or claim they do-- or wish that were so...

oh! you read me like a book!

In this instance, they risk holding the contents of my stomach on their lap

I am not kidding. I am not exaggerating. The idea of M/f as the "natural outcome" of the "natural relationship" of the sexes? Makes me want to puke.

I think vomiting in my lap is really abusive of you. I'm not sure I want you to be my master after that.

 

[eastern sun]

I mean without language to articulate it, I'm not sure if my sexuality still works. Signs and signifiers and all that happy crap.

Is that their premise? (I've never read Foucault and Derrida, though I certainly will now - I'm with CutieMouse in the throes of a geekgasm.)

I wrote my thesis on semiotics, and spent the rest of my life trying to figure out what it meant. I'm certain that something is there. Too much confusion exists when the wrong signs are used. . . .

 

[eastern sun]

No. I'm not going there. Even in jest.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Do you think this reaction has to do with a somewhat Butlerian notion about gender as applies to you, though? I don't really care what people do as long as that dude isn't swingin' that thing AT ME, you know.

Well, sure, up to a point ...But I like men and I like dick.

Only --not dickwhen it's attached to a brain that expects to plow the field and plant the sacred seed, or make my female body happy at last knowing it's mastered by The Man as was ordained in time immemorial, or some damn thing.

 

[intothewoods]

Now this conversation gets interesting? You really know how to make a girl work!

I'm cracking under the pressure. I may revisit Foucault. It made me nuts at age 20, but maybe it would help if I pictured him in leather.

 

[rida]

*snip*
LOVE which is consensual, cooperative, and communicated is anathema to you, because it's no longer emotional blackmail you can use to satisfy a pervy boner with a non-pervy woman.

Claiming that "true Love cannot be abusive by definition" he makes it into an axiom that does not need proof.

As such everything done under the name of "true Love" becomes non abuse.
Or the other way around: even if it looks like abuse, it is not abuse because it is done with "true Love".

Praying on the fear of not been worth of true Love/not worth saving any longer. Emotional black mailing indeed.

Not being on the New York Best Seller list is a form of censorship.

And the fact that y'all are not flocking to check MY writing is censorship of fine art at his best!

I'm interested in the "historical" dimension of this discussion.

A lot of people have wondered where the idea of submission as "a gift" came from, with the new kind of power it offers to submissives.

Is Wulf really the Father of "the Gift"?

Is Jon Jacobs really considered the Father of TPE?

If not, how did these ideas evolve? Are they purely a product of this internet culture?

My uncultured two yens are that the archetype of ideas eventually reach the consciousness of enough people to start being explored by different individual in different forms until someone, one day, by sheer luck of timing, comes up with the label for such ideas.

I remember from my philosophy (and even math) days, that the debate on who was the first to define such-and-such never have a straitghforward answer.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My favorite is when that peanut butter gets into my lesbian chocolate. Butches are top, femmes are bottom. What?

Fuck, I swear I just had this conversation with baby girl two weeks ago on exactly this premise!

 

[Netzach]

Is that their premise? (I've never read Foucault and Derrida, though I certainly will now - I'm with CutieMouse in the throes of a geekgasm.)

I wrote my thesis on semiotics, and spent the rest of my life trying to figure out what it meant. I'm certain that something is there. Too much confusion exists when the wrong signs are used. . . .

I have limited tolerance for this kinda thing, less than you - I remember a painful summer of S/z by Barthes was my last straw.

Foucault in a VERY undersized nutshell argues that SM is an act of creative self-transformation, a kind of existential "play" (as you can guess the fact that something is a game doesn't make it less serious)

It's power is, in a sense, its disregard for accepted signs/signifiers and ability to invent its own. A cock becomes a site of vulnerability through SM.


ETA: this is an awesome nutshell, much better than mine:
http://mikejohnduff.blogspot.com/2008/05/foucault-and-interpretation.html

 

[Netzach]

Fuck, I swear I just had this conversation with baby girl two weeks ago on exactly this premise!

It's kind of weird, isn't it?

Mind, I have nothing against Butch/fem D/s - it's just irritating as hell when it's assumed.

 

[eastern sun]

I have limited tolerance for this kinda thing, less than you - I remember a painful summer of S/z by Barthes was my last straw.

Foucault in a VERY undersized nutshell argues that SM is an act of creative self-transformation, a kind of existential "play" (as you can guess the fact that something is a game doesn't make it less serious)

His History of Sexuality was published the year after I graduated . . . and, that year, I was done reading structuralism and linguistics and anything even remotely related.

But I'm going to go back and read it now. Thank you - to everyone - for the information.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's kind of weird, isn't it?

Mind, I have nothing against Butch/fem D/s - it's just irritating as hell when it's assumed.

This.

I guess I hate assumptions, period.

Although it's sexy as all hell when one's assumptions are dumped upside down...

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

It's kind of weird, isn't it?

Mind, I have nothing against Butch/fem D/s - it's just irritating as hell when it's assumed.

Yeah~it went from that conversation to one canvassing the negative aspects of the word queer and why I use it to refer to myself...And I don't think Trinnie and I ever figured out why it was so prevalent in queer BDSM or 'nilla relationships. *shrugs*

This.

I guess I hate assumptions, period.

Although it's sexy as all hell when one's assumptions are dumped upside down...

How does one dump an assumption?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yeah~it went from that conversation to one canvassing the negative aspects of the word queer and why I use it to refer to myself...And I don't think Trinnie and I ever figured out why it was so prevalent in queer BDSM or 'nilla relationships. *shrugs*

I figure it's because that's been the stereotype for male/female relationships for so damn long. Its a legacy of the Fifties.

How does one dump an assumption?

One picks it up and flip it over, and pulls its pants down?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I figure it's because that's been the stereotype for male/female relationships for so damn long. Its a legacy of the Fifties.

One picks it up and flip it over, and pulls its pants down?

You are probably right. I just know it bugs me. I am small and fairly feminine looking even though I self identify as Gender Queer, Daddy, Top, Soft Butch. Most people see me and ASSUME oh subbie, femme. *smacks head*

also~smart ass!!

 

[Stella_Omega]

You are probably right. I just know it bugs me. I am small and fairly feminine looking even though I self identify as Gender Queer, Daddy, Top, Soft Butch. Most people see me and ASSUME oh subbie, femme. *smacks head*

also~smart ass!!

Gonna spank me?

(if Trin says it's okay)

 

[Noira]

In this instance, they risk holding the contents of my stomach on their lap

I am not kidding. I am not exaggerating. The idea of M/f as the "natural outcome" of the "natural relationship" of the sexes? Makes me want to puke.

Oh, thank goodness, I'm not alone.

I have nothing against M/f... or F/m... (or M/m or F/f for that matter!) but the idea of any being the "natural outcome"... guhhh.

It doesn't make me want to puke, it just brings out the domme in me, and she starts ranting. Loudly. The moment I hear anything along the lines of "women are naturally submissive to men and all other routes of BDSM are not right"... out comes Rant McMuffin Me!

You are probably right. I just know it bugs me. I am small and fairly feminine looking even though I self identify as Gender Queer, Daddy, Top, Soft Butch. Most people see me and ASSUME oh subbie, femme. *smacks head*

>__> I'm short, have really long hair and wear skirts all the time... but screw the physical appearance factor, on TOP of that I'm also very quiet, apologetic, and happy to serve and put other's needs before my own. I am the very picture perfect 50s wife, physically and except for that cynical feminist streak that renders me unable to submit to "wifey no matter, make your husband's life perfect while slaving away to take care of all your kids too, never ask questions" bullshit that shows up in guides, I'd even fit the personality.

...Think I can convince anyone I'm actually a sadist? (facepalm) I have a masochistic streak too but I am definately not a sub, which is definately the first assumption by my looks and immediate personality.

I know what I am, but try convincing anyone else that!

 

[Keroin]

I just like having sex and getting my ass beat. No inclination to read up about it, really.

I think I'm out of my league on this board!

 

[CutieMouse]

You are probably right. I just know it bugs me. I am small and fairly feminine looking even though I self identify as Gender Queer, Daddy, Top, Soft Butch. Most people see me and ASSUME oh subbie, femme. *smacks head*

also~smart ass!!

Oh, thank goodness, I'm not alone.

I know what I am, but try convincing anyone else that!

It isn't any easier being a serious, no nonsense, self-assured, thinnish, intellectual, tall (6' in heels), nontraditional submissive redhead... Most common comment I get on a first date?

"You know, from the way your personals ad was worded, I'd expected someone submissive... but you just don't seem the type."

Thank you for eliminating yourself from my dating pool. Next!

 

[chy_girl]

I just like having sex and getting my ass beat. No inclination to read up about it, really.

I think I'm out of my league on this board!

*plops down on the bench next to Keroin*

Me too.

 

[00Syd]

"fantatics." lol

 

[ImOnIt]

"fantatics." lol

Theres not one person driving the wrong way down the motorway! THERES FUCKING THOUSANDS OF THEM! THOUSAAAANDS!

 

[fuckmeat]

Theres not one person driving the wrong way down the motorway! THERES FUCKING THOUSANDS OF THEM! THOUSAAAANDS!

http://www.retroland.com/retrotalk/userfiles/Laughing_RoflSmileyLJ.gif

 

[Cattypuss]

Theres not one person driving the wrong way down the motorway! THERES FUCKING THOUSANDS OF THEM! THOUSAAAANDS!

PERFECT analogy lol!

 

[Etoile]

"fantatics." lol

Fantatics would do well in Japan. They have orange fanta, grape fanta, diet grape fanta, fanta cider (kind of a sprite flavor), and fanta white. Oh god, I love me some fanta white. It's vanilla yogurt flavor. I know it sounds weird, but it's so good.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Actually, that was what I did: got a life.

I married my wife. We shared almost eleven years together until she died of cancer.

It has only been three years since I returned to public life, and no one was more delighted than me to see so many submissives saying "my submission is a gift"

It's nice to know who is to blame for the lamest internet bdsm cliche of all time.