What to do when your Dom dumps you?

[MasterPhoenix]

As you girlfriend she might be your "slave", for example, but she's still your girlfriend. Key word: friend.

So, when a Dom "dismisses" his pyl, he's breaking up with his girlfriend. That's the fact I wanted faced.

http://www.pets-warehouse.com/pic-s/SZMZM42.jpg

Dude, that may be true for you and yours, but for many of us here there is much more going on than just a boy/girlfriend situation.

 

[DVS]

You have a relationship -to continue with the topic theme- you and your girlfriend. You and she like BDSM and agree to engage in, well, whatever your kink is, Dom and sub. You both like it, everything is fun and good. However, regardless of the lifestyle, the inescapable fact is that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, who are consenting to play the roles for your mutual enjoyment, enlightenment or whatever. As you girlfriend she might be your "slave", for example, but she's still your girlfriend. Key word: friend.

So, when a Dom "dismisses" his pyl, he's breaking up with his girlfriend. That's the fact I wanted faced.

I disagree. The Dominant I serve is not my boyfriend, and He would not like me to call Him that.

There is much more to the relationship than that. And it works for me.

No, she's not always your girlfriend, but sometimes she is. Either way, it's a sexual connection and that's a bond between two people. It could be just a "friends with benefits" relationship.

 

[NervousNellie]

Update

I always hate when I read a thread & then there is no follow-up from the OP to let you know what happened later. So here I am ready to update a bit. This has been one wild crazy month.

B (my ex) called that first time after about a week of cutting me off. It turned into a really intense play session. He was still angry & amped up the humiliation & punishment aspects of our play. It was working for me to purge some things of my own so I participated fully. It was really kind of a cleansing thing, but not something I want in my play time on a regular basis.

Since then he calls once a week. I'm not sure how he views it now, but I am thinking of it as a weaning off period. He still knows all my triggers & it feels great, but it isn't really satisfying. The trust is broken & our play time will never be as good as it was before.

In the meantime, a friend told me about an online sex "dating" site. I signed up on it and have been incredibly overwhelmed at the response. I guess maybe I'm just so used to forums where you can lurk for a long time & only peek your head out when you are ready. With this thing as soon as you sign up you are bombarded.

It feels really strange to think that in the 2 1/2 weeks I've been on there that my profile has been viewed over 10,000 times (& oh my god the emails I'm wading through.) I don't state anywhere in my profile that I am recently exploring my submissive side. But I think my fantasy that's posted touches on it enough that anyone who is Dominant recognizes it. Pretty sure this won't be the best place ultimately to be looking for what I need. But it is really helping me to quit obsessing on B & begin to move past him.

So there it is, the nitty, the gritty & the absurd that my life has become.

 

[NervousNellie]

**Addendum**

One interesting little aspect of my new play sessions with B. I told him of how his sudden abandonment had left me feeling unable to orgasm initially. That I had given him full ownership for so long in my mind that it took some doing for me to reclaim them. Now in our play time he makes a point of asking me "Who's ______ is this?" and having me claim the ownership as mine. It really is working to reinforce it for me.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

You have a relationship -to continue with the topic theme- you and your girlfriend. You and she like BDSM and agree to engage in, well, whatever your kink is, Dom and sub. You both like it, everything is fun and good. However, regardless of the lifestyle, the inescapable fact is that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, who are consenting to play the roles for your mutual enjoyment, enlightenment or whatever. As you girlfriend she might be your "slave", for example, but she's still your girlfriend. Key word: friend.

So, when a Dom "dismisses" his pyl, he's breaking up with his girlfriend. That's the fact I wanted faced.

Not all Dom/sub relationships are built upon a girlfriend / boyfriend type of relationship. Sometimes Dom/sub's have other main stream relationships and the Dom/sub relationship is a fulfillment of desire and need for both parties but not one based on "love".

(not sure if I am explaining what I mean correctly I am a little sleep deprived) but in short I don't agree with quoted statement *grins*