What to do with a vanilla partner?

[sweetie_sultry_sub]

I certainly thank all of you for all the advice you have shared. Certainly angela and chele have given me insite through her eyes. I have tried slowly pushing the envelop so to speak, going months at a time without mentioning any of this, but simply attempting different things in the heat of passion, and sometimes she responds. But I think it is because it felt good at the time. I feel certain that I will need to set aside my needs and accept the love of this incredible woman who I adore. But the desire to see not only love, but true submission in her eyes may never happen. I don't expect 24/7, especially in public as I know she would be very embarrassed to do. But at home, especially our time spent together both in and out of the bedroom is something I have desired for a long time. One thing is certain, that there is no option for an "affair" behind her back. I am not that type of person. I enjoy the erotic chat and banter in this and other chatrooms, I suppose that just fuels the fire. But my word and honor mean more than sex. So I think that my plan is to keep slowly trying to open the door, creatively inspiring her and see what develops. Again, thank you all for your help.

p.s. I guess the choice of words "convert" was not exactly correct, and I thank angela for the alternative of "inspiring an interest" as more appropriate. I would not want to make her into something she is not chele. But thank you for addressing that.

I totaly agree with inspiration, it amazes me how well my husband can just shove it in my face and take total control when I have teased him and gotten just mouthy enough to push him over the edge, he never really realizes that he has crossed the line, but the intensity of the climaxes tells me that he loves taking me, and useing me,, and well I always am much happier after one of those session. As to balance it out, I do on occassion accost him ( he loves that) and I often offer him a quicky just before work.LOL you must give to recieve.

 

[sweetie_sultry_sub]

BTW,,, Hello to all I have just subscribed to this thread in hopes of learning as much as possible from the more seasoned folks around.

You all seem so helpful and kind, I love the way that everyone shows real concern and compasion and respect for others.

I know I will walk away with a good deal of knowledge from all of you..

Thanks

 

[trodas]

David son of Jesse - iniciating interest of your wife in BDSM? Let's start with holding tight her arms above her head during climax Then slowly develop your way trough tying the hands fram scarfs to leather cufs. Slowly adding more pleasure play for her, untill you end where you want to be
Leaving some "interesting" materials on your desk did not hurt either Make sure to pick soft ones and they should clearly show the enjoyment of the female sub pictured, to make your wife get interesed - at least everytime a very very little.
DON'T try breaking the "no-talkable about sex" persons into talkable. This never worked.

sweetie_sultry_sub - well, you have the problem reversed. Sometime, about month ago, i rendomly picked some stuff to download from news and next day i found interesting movie on my machine. To put it short, it's about wife, that have the same problem as you, and being unhappy with getting only "bit of slack" instead of serious paddling, for what she dying to get, she seek a profi domina and they arrange a meeting week later. The main purpose is clearly show her husband, how far she is wiling/wanting to go
That was the first part. The next two are the interesting session, where she god paddled seriously, and later fucked with dildo closely to climaxing, and then again paddled and this getting repeated there times, before she finally get allowed to see the end
What is the value of this text to you? Eh, you might find these there (poor quality and requiring to install mp4 decoder) clips usefull to let you husbad watch them
Maybe this convince him to go futher - as for me, i must admit i have a bit troubles watching this show - too exciting for me

 

[sweetie_sultry_sub]

David son of Jesse - iniciating interest of your wife in BDSM? Let's start with holding tight her arms above her head during climax Then slowly develop your way trough tying the hands fram scarfs to leather cufs. Slowly adding more pleasure play for her, untill you end where you want to be
Leaving some "interesting" materials on your desk did not hurt either Make sure to pick soft ones and they should clearly show the enjoyment of the female sub pictured, to make your wife get interesed - at least everytime a very very little.
DON'T try breaking the "no-talkable about sex" persons into talkable. This never worked.

sweetie_sultry_sub - well, you have the problem reversed. Sometime, about month ago, i rendomly picked some stuff to download from news and next day i found interesting movie on my machine. To put it short, it's about wife, that have the same problem as you, and being unhappy with getting only "bit of slack" instead of serious paddling, for what she dying to get, she seek a profi domina and they arrange a meeting week later. The main purpose is clearly show her husband, how far she is wiling/wanting to go
That was the first part. The next two are the interesting session, where she god paddled seriously, and later fucked with dildo closely to climaxing, and then again paddled and this getting repeated there times, before she finally get allowed to see the end
What is the value of this text to you? Eh, you might find these there (poor quality and requiring to install mp4 decoder) clips usefull to let you husbad watch them
Maybe this convince him to go futher - as for me, i must admit i have a bit troubles watching this show - too exciting for me

Thank you for the advice, not sure I could get him to watch any porn,, but it is worth a try..

 

[trodas]

Let's start not calling it porn, but education

(I once meet in r/l with just 15 year old girl, what asked me, if i watch porn. I quickly assumend that he did not like my sort of BDSM porn and since the classic one boring me to death, i answered no, not much. So she started telling me how much she watcing it (and i should), and how it's good, like for ideas, education... And when she end 5min later with her idea that my parents sure watching it too and "this is normal", my jaw almost droped - since it was the first time i meet such opened girl (in the sexual part of life) in such young age. Lesson learned - call it education rather that porn


Well, most mens are curious persons (eh, now i realy for you HOPE Im don't passing a wrong judgment because of what Im!) and therefore likely to explore something new - and downloaded files are not any exception
If your husband it curious at least a little, then you can probably easily get him "on the hook"

Happy fishing then

 

[sweetie_sultry_sub]

Thank you for the advice, I have tried a bit to read to him from novels, and even stories that I have writen. so far no luck,, But I will not give up. And thank you for the idea of the educational material, maybe that will make it seem less taboo to him

Let's start not calling it porn, but education

(I once meet in r/l with just 15 year old girl, what asked me, if i watch porn. I quickly assumend that he did not like my sort of BDSM porn and since the classic one boring me to death, i answered no, not much. So she started telling me how much she watcing it (and i should), and how it's good, like for ideas, education... And when she end 5min later with her idea that my parents sure watching it too and "this is normal", my jaw almost droped - since it was the first time i meet such opened girl (in the sexual part of life) in such young age. Lesson learned - call it education rather that porn


Well, most mens are curious persons (eh, now i realy for you HOPE Im don't passing a wrong judgment because of what Im!) and therefore likely to explore something new - and downloaded files are not any exception
If your husband it curious at least a little, then you can probably easily get him "on the hook"

Happy fishing then

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Hi sweet,

maybe he just doesn't care for written erotica and is more visual? Anyway, I have a similar situation with my dh, and was given a very useful site by 'rain.

http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html

It's meant to help vanilla women find their inner Domme but I just reverse the sexes for suggestions for my dh.

It's been trickier for us because there are some other issues and because my d/s tendencies are more mental than physical. (I'm not a classic sub -- some sort of gray area or switch -- haven't figured it out yet). The site helped Me understand the whole thing a lot better, explaining the basics. And we've begun to find our own way, which requires figuring out what exaact details and areas are important to you. For instance, I like words and my dh doesn't like to talk but is very visual, so I came up with a scenario where we do 'phone sex in person' which he controls. To make that more clear -- he tells me exactly what to do but doesn't touch me, and I Only keep going as long as he keeps talking. (We have to have the no touch rule for me to get the talking I want because otherwise he would be very happy to just touch me and do things to me without me moving an inch:/ ) Another thing we've tried, since I like the mental stuff, is hypnosis. So you can see what I mean by non-tradition ds.

Hope this has some help in it for you.

PhS