What weird stuff have you done to get yourself off?

[Noira]

I have been pretty inventive with the shower head, especially since ours isn't detachable and the stream from the bathtub faucet just doesn't do it for me. But that's not weird. The electric eraser, that was weird. Man, I guess we women search for ANYTHING that vibrates, don't we?

 

[AngelBella]

I moved and I miss my detatchable shower head. /sigh

 

[sows_ear]

More than once I used a small facial massage device my mom (!!!) gave to me as a birthday present. I guess I can call that my first vibrator )

Nice of your mom, I think she knew what she was doing. My mom told me to be sure I cleaned myself quite well with the pulsing shower wand.
She knew.. bless her

 

[philos]

So that's why I installed those shower heads for my sisters. I thought it was for rinsing their hair

 

[PhilGarlic]

So thats why

Refitted my bathroom last year, the wife insisted that we have a shower head that can be removed on the bath taps even though I fitted a nice big shower unit as well.
I now know why, and will question her tonight

 

[DarkSidEclipse]

scribe

 

[JuanVato]

So that's why I installed those shower heads for my sisters. I thought it was for rinsing their hair

LOL...I swear I have installed those for at least five of my women friends.

No wonder they were happy to see me with a tool box, teflon tape and a "I can get this done in like 5 minutes" timeline.

 

[Eilan]

I had a friend that used to fuck watermelon. Never did try it myself, but I have a real aversion to watermelon now. Thanks for the image buddy.

Ever read Portnoy's Complaint? It'll make you think twice about having liver for dinner!

Hey, does anyone remember Fleece Fucker?

 

[philos]

Anything weirder than getting married? Totally doesn't work. At least not for me. Yet so many of us keep doing it.

 

[ticklish709]

Good idea!

LOL...I swear I have installed those for at least five of my women friends.

No wonder they were happy to see me with a tool box, teflon tape and a "I can get this done in like 5 minutes" timeline.

Ohhhhhhhh hubby!!! We need to invite JuanVato over with his teflon tape. Now let's see...we need a new shower head and . . . LOL

Ticklish709

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

Another vote for the removable shower massager ... sigh, don't have one any more ... so sad.

I once fucked myself with hubby's maglite flashlight, pretty much if I am desperate I will look around the house for anything.

 

[Phydeax69]

Growing up I found that my ass was a good source of pleasure! I started using my mothers douche ball...it had a thick tube and a ball end that you filled with water and it had a guard that I guess kept your hand from getting wet...well that lubed up and shoved up my add was a great thing....until I discovered KIRBY! We had this vacuum cleaner that had a red rubber handle on it, that had a decent amount of girth, and a hooked end that hit your prostate JUUUUST right! I'd lube up the handle, and back my ass on it, and ride it until I enjoyed a hands free cum!

Imagine how upset I was when my father replaced it with a newer model!!!!



I also tried Vicks hand jobs...I read once that it was a pretty cool sensation...It wasn't THAT great...


Shampoo works as a lube in the shower in a pinch!

 

[JuanVato]

Ohhhhhhhh hubby!!! We need to invite JuanVato over with his teflon tape. Now let's see...we need a new shower head

I installed another one on Sunday for a single mom on my street. This thread kept coming to mind. She even said she wanted it because she was "too short for the fixed head to get her wet". I think I smirked the whole time.

 

[SexyReadhead86]

This probably isn't the kind of answer that you were looking for, but...

At a charity event once, I was having a pretty good time with my date. But then I ran into this lover I have that does things no one else does, and during the silent auction part we kind of flirted. They called us to sit down for dinner, and before we parted ways, he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he knew I was wet (he was right - damn him!) and that "all through dinner I'm going to be thinking about the way your pussy tastes, and how good it felt wrapped around my cock. If my date touches me under the table she'll have no idea that I'm hard thinking of you, not her."

I was so flustered, and so horny, that when dinner was served I faked being sick and needing to throw up. I went to the ladies room and got myself off.

Then, to keep face, I had to politely decline dinner and be taken home when I got back to my table, even though I was starving and actually having fun with my date.

Does that count as weird stuff I've done to get myself off? I felt a little weird doing it.