What's in your Little Box?

[cookiecat]

On my mind today... does anyone have any thoughts on having a friend pinch-hit as PYL when yours is unavailable or you are without a partner? I suppose this could go the other way too, of course.

Pinch hit in what way?? Accountability? Sex? Checking up on you??

My initial thought was no, it sounds not good needy and micromanaging. I'm imagining my guy handing off a set of notes to one if his buddies!?

However, I am curious to hear other thoughts.

 

[ViciousTease]

On my mind today... does anyone have any thoughts on having a friend pinch-hit as PYL when yours is unavailable or you are without a partner? I suppose this could go the other way too, of course.

This was suggested to me by a dear friend. I had just come out of a very dark place and I think having a friend I could go to for a "no questions asked hug" would have been a tremendous help. So far, I haven't hit another low, but if I do I will definitely give this a try.

 

[cookiecat]

This was suggested to me by a dear friend. I had just come out of a very dark place and I think having a friend I could go to for a "no questions asked hug" would have been a tremendous help. So far, I haven't hit another low, but if I do I will definitely give this a try.

I can see this scenario. Not having a partner, needing a safe place.

I'm still uncertain about having a PYL who's out of pocket for a while and having a substitute PYL to fill in.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

No.
Not my thing.
Those are my thoughts for ME.

I don't understand the last line but

Pinch hit in what way?? Accountability? Sex? Checking up on you??

My initial thought was no, it sounds not good needy and micromanaging. I'm imagining my guy handing off a set of notes to one if his buddies!?

However, I am curious to hear other thoughts.

Non-sexy stuff. More about companionship, routine... a soupçon of control... I haven't given it much thought beyond that yet.

This was suggested to me by a dear friend. I had just come out of a very dark place and I think having a friend I could go to for a "no questions asked hug" would have been a tremendous help. So far, I haven't hit another low, but if I do I will definitely give this a try.

 

[Farawyn]

I can see this scenario. Not having a partner, needing a safe place.

I'm still uncertain about having a PYL who's out of pocket for a while and having a substitute PYL to fill in.

I can't imagine that ever being on the table in my relationship. I'm his.
I have enough from him in my heart.
And I don't need a man to check in on me if its not enough, if I get sad.
That's what I have my GFs for.

 

[cookiecat]

Non-sexy stuff. More about companionship, routine... a soupçon of control... I haven't given it much thought beyond that yet.

I'd like to think my partner has enough confidence in me that i can stand on my own while he's unavailable.

If I weren't feeling it, I hope he will have given me some tools "in my little box" to get through time without him.

A PYL surrogate feels off. Like Far, I'd go to my friends if I needed support.

Good food for thought, Honey.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cfuhrer]

That's what I have my GFs for.

I'd go to my friends if I needed support.

This is what I read Honey's "substitute PYL" to mean. Someone else you can go to for support. Not so much for play, but for welfare.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

I though about this. I discovered I don't have or need a little memory box. It's been rare when my husband is not with me. Now our three adult kids and families are a phone call and a few minutes away. The other in Florida it's still just a phone call away to talk.
Other than that we still have old friends we went to grade school with. Either they stop when shopping or we visit them.
Not many our age even have early school friends left.
I'm lucky, if it's sex I need and hubby is busy, that too is a phone call away. In honesty, it's something I can now do without.
I suppose TV and my crossword puzzles are my box to keep me from getting bored when someone else is not here to stop the boredom.
Our wants out of life have always been short. So mostly my little box is bare.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

Although I spend a lot of time alone I have never lived properly alone. My own home. If something happened to G I would choose to live alone.

Since we married very young and started a family, I've really never been alone. Even the rare times my husband was gone for work, I had a few of my kids with me.

We've been married much longer than we lived with our own families.
We both try not to think of when one of us will be alone.
We moved back to our hometown. We already have planned for the house, cars, and other material things. We live each day with a smile and don't worry about tomorrow.

We do know I can't live alone. I need help with my memory, mostly for meds and food.

 

[Eva_Star]

Although I spend a lot of time alone I have never lived properly alone. My own home. If something happened to G I would choose to live alone.

I have also never lived alone. I was a mother before I was even a proper adult. Lived with parents, a boyfriend, a husband and a time of just me and my child. Now that I am facing the possibility of just me and child again, it is scary to me.


...to Honey's question in regards to a surrogate pyl. We did this once. Husband was out of country for about 6 weeks. His friend (also a d) filled in a little. It was ok. I had known friend for years. We both knew the limits and would never cross...nothing sexual...at all. It was more a checking in sort of situation due to husband being gone so long. He would stop by...check on me...give instructions. I didn't find it terrible but not particularly helpful either. He would never be the comfort I needed. I could have survived without.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

Keep in mind someone has to go first. Unless like my silly husband says "he'll drive off a cliff." We don't have many cliffs here in the midwest.
I'm sure a friend or the kids would put my meds in one of those daily pill containers.
They did say I'll end up in a nearby assisted living place.
It's sort of odd, we've lived in this town my husband's life and most of mine. Now we live barely out of the city and there must be 1000's of older retired people in new assisted living places, nursing homes, and other places for mostly retired people. We pass them whenever we go to town. They pay a fortune and still park right out in an open parking lot.
We have a nice little home with attached garage and a pretty lawn for only a small amount compared to those fancy condo looking places.
One of the kids can do like the neighbor lady. Her daughter stops several times a day. Or I can get a nurse or caregiver to stop in.
We already get two meals a day delivered so mostly it's my meds I worry about.
I don't need a little box of memories or toys.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Farawyn]

This is what I read Honey's "substitute PYL" to mean. Someone else you can go to for support. Not so much for play, but for welfare.

I saw it as instructions and control. And play.
Ahhh, the Internet!

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

The more I am on here the more I see many of us are so much alike. This has not been about sex. More about life and life is also about death.
As for us, Denny is two years older. For now we seem to doing better than a year ago when we moved back home. We could live forever or one of us go tomorrow.
We've had a fun great life. Many would never do things we've done. Yet we've never done or gone places many others go.
We've always lived off love more than money and hope to keep living until we go piecefully. No bad train, plane, bus, truck, or car crashes. Hpefully nothing weather related like the storm last night. We want to just go to bed some evening and never wake up.

My friend Pat did it that way with her dememtia. Her husband and our best friend actually took it well. I don't want to make Denny suffer taking care of me like Don had to.

He got up in the middle of the night. I better put him back in bed.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Something with Daddy's handwiting on it.

 

[diaperedtiffany]

Thick diapers with a pink onesie. The sleep and peace of mind it gives me is incredible. It just sucks that the wife didn't diaper me up.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'm thinking...

 

[barefootgirl69]

I keep the very first cards nearby so I can look at them again.
One is my bookmark and always near.

 

[barefootgirl69]

On my mind today... does anyone have any thoughts on having a friend pinch-hit as PYL when yours is unavailable or you are without a partner? I suppose this could go the other way too, of course.

When I'm without a Daddy, yes I have friends to go to for support. Just to know they're there to come alongside, not necessarily to Daddy me.

But, when I do have a Daddy, he has all of me.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I keep the very first cards nearby so I can look at them again.
One is my bookmark and always near.

Clever!

I like to listen to voice recordings when I'm snuggled in bed