ManInIronMask
a book by Alexander Dumas
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Well said.
What's it like to be desired?
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Well said.
Saphs
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I think more people find me attractive than I think. I'm not very confident at all, but I've had many people tell me I'm beautiful/gorgeous, etc.
I've been told I'm beautiful, but not in a conventional way. I know exactly what this person meant, because I definitely don't appeal to everyone the way some people do. I'm perhaps more of an acquired taste?! I'm not blonde and busty, put it that way.
To answer your question, it's lovely having someone tell you that you're gorgeous or that you look really good. I was walking through a crowded club once, and a man pulled away from a girl he was dancing with to shout in my ear "YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!", which was really nice to hear.
I absolutely can't stand people who deflect compliments. It makes me want to retract saying something nice! If someone says something nice about me, I thank them for it. I think everyone should do the same!
I've been told I'm beautiful, but not in a conventional way. I know exactly what this person meant, because I definitely don't appeal to everyone the way some people do. I'm perhaps more of an acquired taste?! I'm not blonde and busty, put it that way.
To answer your question, it's lovely having someone tell you that you're gorgeous or that you look really good. I was walking through a crowded club once, and a man pulled away from a girl he was dancing with to shout in my ear "YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!", which was really nice to hear.
I absolutely can't stand people who deflect compliments. It makes me want to retract saying something nice! If someone says something nice about me, I thank them for it. I think everyone should do the same!
tomwantstosee
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To answer the question: It feels amazing!
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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Just once, for one day, I'd like to be six feet tall. Just to see what happens.
As a 6-5 giant, I can tell you that it's kind of overrated.
It's impossible to find clothes that fit, for instance. I have to get my shirts made.
On the other hand, no one ever fucks with you.
I'd like to try "petite and cute" for a day and see if I could wrap people around my finger instead of just intimidating them via looming over them.
RoxyChixxx
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It feels powering, like I could ask for whatever or do whatever I wanted and they'd let me. Its great to be wanted and needed and lusted over...stalked is completly creepy and desiring on a completely different level that feels yucky...but the innocent passionate desire is terrific. Makes u feel beautiful and sexy all at once.
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
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A ton of women find more extreme variants of height attractive. At least your dating pool is much more open than say, a man who's 5'7. I do know how you feel though. Being shorter would be...a dream come true for me.
laceNlthrgrrl
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In my younger days I was told many times that I was attractive/hot/desirable etc. It was nice to hear. Sometimes I would say it was reassuring because I understood that I had the potential to be noticed.
But yanno, that's a first looks kind of thing. It doesn't guarantee that you're going to have more than that first lustful look, or a conversation, or a relationship or anything beyond that first 'oh yeah, he wants me' look.
There was a guy back in college who was kind of awkward and shy but he was really smart and said clever stuff in class. I was crazy about him. Close to the end of the semester I finally ended up out with a group that included him. We got to talking and he told me he liked me but that I was way out of his league. Who, me?I was barely pulling a B in the class. Noooo silly, not academically. He figured I'd never give him the time of day. We ended up dating for part of a semester, but he was so insecure about me that it got in the way.
The best way to land a guy is to not wear makeup and actually talk in class. I learned that the following year.
But yanno, that's a first looks kind of thing. It doesn't guarantee that you're going to have more than that first lustful look, or a conversation, or a relationship or anything beyond that first 'oh yeah, he wants me' look.
There was a guy back in college who was kind of awkward and shy but he was really smart and said clever stuff in class. I was crazy about him. Close to the end of the semester I finally ended up out with a group that included him. We got to talking and he told me he liked me but that I was way out of his league. Who, me?I was barely pulling a B in the class. Noooo silly, not academically. He figured I'd never give him the time of day. We ended up dating for part of a semester, but he was so insecure about me that it got in the way.
The best way to land a guy is to not wear makeup and actually talk in class. I learned that the following year.
Felix_Jones
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Cary Tennis is a guy who writes an advice columns on Salon.com. I find his writing really insightful. You might have to look through the archives, but he wrote back to a person that was frustrated with aging and losing their attractiveness. I won't paraphrase, but his take on the response to attractiveness, and what an attractive person might feel in return was really well put.
Here's a link:
http://www.salon.com/life/since_you_asked/index.html
As for me, I couldn't tell you. I was never the appealing sort, if someone looks at me I just assume that they recognize me from somewhere or they want something. It would be a surreal experience, walking around and wowing people with your appearance.
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swtrthnhoney
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I can't directly answer this question, as I don't think of myself that way. However, most of my life I have noticed looks from men (and women). I never really gave them much thought. Noone has ever really come out and said anything , but many looks from obviously otherwise attached individuals. Even been approached by women while with my (now estranged) husband at an art festival.
Is that considered being desired? As I mentioned, I don't think of myself this way, I am just me.
My desire would be that someone would desire me on many levels.
Is that considered being desired? As I mentioned, I don't think of myself this way, I am just me.
My desire would be that someone would desire me on many levels.
I'm a reasonably good looking male who has had a lot of success with other people. I don't like it when someone (male or female) flatters me as I know it is usually because they want something from me. I found school and university easy and that added to the attention I have received. However, I am just me in this skin and with the attributes I was born with. I read a lot of comments from women who get hit on but not too many men.
I work in an industry where there is a lot of contact between companies and customers. Also, there is a reasonable large gay population. At the various state and national meetings I get a fair amount of propositions from both sexes. Our company policy is to NEVER get personal with customers. However, I am observant as many of the customers being away from home are looking to play.
With that said, my wife is extremely attractive and considered very desirable by the majority of the male community. Our daughter (an adult now) is even more attractive than my wife. I find it absolutely amazing when the three of us are out together in public. I like to find a reason for falling behind just far enough from them to appear not to be with them. I watch the reactions of the males and some females especially after the two of them have passed by. I know what the males are responding to and what they are probably thinking. Both my wife and my daughter have learned to ignore the looks and leers.
All in all, being attractive enough to draw extra attention is not all it's cracked up to be. The real person inside is what is important. If it takes a while for others to understand the real person that's fine as the shallow people soon loose interst.
I work in an industry where there is a lot of contact between companies and customers. Also, there is a reasonable large gay population. At the various state and national meetings I get a fair amount of propositions from both sexes. Our company policy is to NEVER get personal with customers. However, I am observant as many of the customers being away from home are looking to play.
With that said, my wife is extremely attractive and considered very desirable by the majority of the male community. Our daughter (an adult now) is even more attractive than my wife. I find it absolutely amazing when the three of us are out together in public. I like to find a reason for falling behind just far enough from them to appear not to be with them. I watch the reactions of the males and some females especially after the two of them have passed by. I know what the males are responding to and what they are probably thinking. Both my wife and my daughter have learned to ignore the looks and leers.
All in all, being attractive enough to draw extra attention is not all it's cracked up to be. The real person inside is what is important. If it takes a while for others to understand the real person that's fine as the shallow people soon loose interst.
slumbermama
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okay, there are a lot of kinds of beauty and sexy. not everyone will agree on what is drop dead sexy.
i have had many people tell me that i am sexy, a lot tell me that i am cute, some tell me that i am doable (never been sure what to make of that one) some tell me they would kill to look like me and then a handful of people tell me that i am ugly.
i THINK that everyone has some attractive quality about them. it can be your eyes, your nose, your arms, the way you laugh...the compassion you show. nobody is really 100% ugly.
also, i know it has been mentioned in this thread and it holds true..you can take a person that is gorgeous on the outside but souless on the inside so they become less attractive. i have dated guys like that....left one at a table in a restaurant because i could not stand to be around him anymore.
anyway, i think people....especially women never see themselves fully. even tiny chics think they are fat and ugly. i focus on little flaws and never see the big picture. i know i am not the only one that does this.
i have had many people tell me that i am sexy, a lot tell me that i am cute, some tell me that i am doable (never been sure what to make of that one) some tell me they would kill to look like me and then a handful of people tell me that i am ugly.
i THINK that everyone has some attractive quality about them. it can be your eyes, your nose, your arms, the way you laugh...the compassion you show. nobody is really 100% ugly.
also, i know it has been mentioned in this thread and it holds true..you can take a person that is gorgeous on the outside but souless on the inside so they become less attractive. i have dated guys like that....left one at a table in a restaurant because i could not stand to be around him anymore.
anyway, i think people....especially women never see themselves fully. even tiny chics think they are fat and ugly. i focus on little flaws and never see the big picture. i know i am not the only one that does this.
I think looks can go only so far. I am more exotic than conventionally pretty. The difference between me and other pretty women when it came to attractive men was I had confidence. I am highly intelligent, well spoken, tall, and authoritarian. Men like to see that kind of attitude as a challenge. I also talked more and asked questions of those men I was interested in. A good portion of the time, I found them unappealing after a bit and just walked away.
Too many times I see people split the world into good looks or ugly. Its not that simple. I know both men and women, some who are so beautiful it almost hurts to look at them and yet they are very common in their tastes, limited knowledge and no imagination. Some are just plain useless. Then there are those who are average, and are absolutely amazing. So intelligent, kind, caring, loving, that who cares what they look like, I want to be around them because they make me feel that I belong, wanted. Unlike the beautiful people who seem to think everyone is there for them and give nothing.
Too many times I see people split the world into good looks or ugly. Its not that simple. I know both men and women, some who are so beautiful it almost hurts to look at them and yet they are very common in their tastes, limited knowledge and no imagination. Some are just plain useless. Then there are those who are average, and are absolutely amazing. So intelligent, kind, caring, loving, that who cares what they look like, I want to be around them because they make me feel that I belong, wanted. Unlike the beautiful people who seem to think everyone is there for them and give nothing.
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RockyStone
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Pretty or Handsome?
When I was young my family members and the ladies at church would say I'm handsome. That clued me in well. I was a school looser for dating a lot, although; I was able to date some decent women. I've watched the handsome/pretty and concluded I didn't want that lifestyle. Since I went to high school starting 1970 to 1973 ending; life wasn't too bad. I ended up being a semi-serious freak that proved himself in gym class. I had classes with jocks and we got along. Back in those old days the cliques had their importance, but they were never able to break out of their social class. Having long hair and the mentality to stay on the honor roll and principals honor roll I was able to be in American Honor Society, constantly piss off teachers, and smoke pot under the bleachers with pep club girls at many sports events. I was perpetually on as a stage hand for the drama club and got invited to parties on the rich side of town. Most of the really pretty girls I knew had issues with it. The really good looking guys had issues with it. Those individuals were unable to stop and speak with a promising person or go out with them because they were stuck in their box. Since I didn't have a set clique, I did what I wanted and had fun. I can remember cheerleaders telling me not to tell anyone they shared a joint with me. It was funny to me. I knew a bunch of the guys in the gymnastics team, we had lots of fun. OK what I'm trying to say is if a HANDSOME/PRETTY person puts them self in a category, they pretty much screw themselves. The handsome and pretty people do have a bit of a problem because they attract attention and not all of it is wanted. It depends on where and how folks attract attention in many situations as to how things happen afterward. I've never suffered from being overly handsome or pretty. In fact, I was a pizza face type that got confidence in my junior year. Some of the pretty girls took the chance in ruining their reputation being seen with me. Once outside the pretty box, the girls rocked! Also, none of their reputations were hurt by hanging out with a freak. In the modern day; I've retired from work, I have hair to the middle of my shoulders and a nice long white beard! (Not a chick magnet)
RS
When I was young my family members and the ladies at church would say I'm handsome. That clued me in well. I was a school looser for dating a lot, although; I was able to date some decent women. I've watched the handsome/pretty and concluded I didn't want that lifestyle. Since I went to high school starting 1970 to 1973 ending; life wasn't too bad. I ended up being a semi-serious freak that proved himself in gym class. I had classes with jocks and we got along. Back in those old days the cliques had their importance, but they were never able to break out of their social class. Having long hair and the mentality to stay on the honor roll and principals honor roll I was able to be in American Honor Society, constantly piss off teachers, and smoke pot under the bleachers with pep club girls at many sports events. I was perpetually on as a stage hand for the drama club and got invited to parties on the rich side of town. Most of the really pretty girls I knew had issues with it. The really good looking guys had issues with it. Those individuals were unable to stop and speak with a promising person or go out with them because they were stuck in their box. Since I didn't have a set clique, I did what I wanted and had fun. I can remember cheerleaders telling me not to tell anyone they shared a joint with me. It was funny to me. I knew a bunch of the guys in the gymnastics team, we had lots of fun. OK what I'm trying to say is if a HANDSOME/PRETTY person puts them self in a category, they pretty much screw themselves. The handsome and pretty people do have a bit of a problem because they attract attention and not all of it is wanted. It depends on where and how folks attract attention in many situations as to how things happen afterward. I've never suffered from being overly handsome or pretty. In fact, I was a pizza face type that got confidence in my junior year. Some of the pretty girls took the chance in ruining their reputation being seen with me. Once outside the pretty box, the girls rocked! Also, none of their reputations were hurt by hanging out with a freak. In the modern day; I've retired from work, I have hair to the middle of my shoulders and a nice long white beard! (Not a chick magnet)
RS
