What's that thing appearing at the top of my screen~Free For All?

[MissTaken]

Frankly, I think this option should have been discussed amongst those here before the new forum was created. I mean, if the majority say it is unnecessary and people are posting there, what happens? All the fluff comes here? Or goes to the GB? Or does it just get deleted?

A discussion before the other forum would have been appreciated and done far more good. At this point, it's rather like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped, isn't it?

Yes, actually, I had pmed Laurel to ask whether to go to the forum for debate. When I clicked the new forum was there. She made a decision, autocratic or not, that is how it occurred.

However, as easily as the thing was done, it can be undone if necessary.

Then, the points made relating the current upset to that of the Playground posters when the Playground started are relevant. Maybe we will be so lucky as to find a way to enjoy and be happy with the changes.

To clarify, this idea was first presented some months back and apparently has always been a possiblity lurking. It is in response to ongoing difficulties, not just the current flame wars.

Many other BDSM forums have things broken down, some to an extreme degree. I liked this forum the way it was before and I just may like it now as well.

Time will tell.

 

[MissTaken]

Blondgirl,

I like how you are thinking. Taking as much "whim" out of the moderator's hands as we can, is a good thing.

Now, I wonder though, when a thread is rated, if one poster rates it five stars, does it show five stars?

And, is there some way to know how many people have rated a thread.

Ultimately, I will only move threads when I have had feedback from at least several posters requesting I do so. This may be a quick and easy way to do that.



Again, it would be my hope that the posters moderate themselves and the moderator is simply the one with the tools to follow through.

Another thought/suggestion:

Instead of just moving things at the whim of the moderator, how about letting the readers of the forum decide.

In the other forums, there is a popularity contest where the various forums can be rated.
How about doing that here?
When the forum is rated 5 stars, it is moved. (Example only)

With the rating system, it is decided in a simple click by the people who have acutally made the effort to open the thread (and are thus involved in either reading, posting, or having their time wasted by misleading thread titles). No one else has to be involved. No one escessive arguements going on about the validity of that particular title. And it is not up to a single person to think for the rest of us--only those directly involved in that thread.

For those of you unclear-go to the following thread and try it out. You can post if you want, but there is no real need since this is just for experimentation--our fave hobby.
The Thread Rating System

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes, actually, I had pmed Laurel to ask whether to go to the forum for debate. When I clicked the new forum was there. She made a decision, autocratic or not, that is how it occurred.

However, as easily as the thing was done, it can be undone if necessary.

Then, the points made relating the current upset to that of the Playground posters when the Playground started are relevant. Maybe we will be so lucky as to find a way to enjoy and be happy with the changes.

To clarify, this idea was first presented some months back and apparently has always been a possiblity lurking. It is in response to ongoing difficulties, not just the current flame wars.

Many other BDSM forums have things broken down, some to an extreme degree. I liked this forum the way it was before and I just may like it now as well.

Time will tell.

No disrespect intended, and maybe I am even wrong, but I get an uneasy feeling when reading all this, particularly this post, that for all the talk of 'let's see, it can be rescinded if that is what is wanted', that there is no intention of returning to the former forum only option and the sweet talk is a patronising way of putting everyone off guard then informing them it is final and forever. Hopefully I am wrong, but rings very much like a placating tactic to me.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would also like to remind Laurel that though it is her site and therefore her right to design it in whatever way she sees fit, the site is nothing without it's readers, writers, and forum posters. Surely anyone would think that was worth some consideration as to their opinions and what they wanted, otherwise one could end up having a site like many others that are duplicate, nothing exceptional, and one day gone.

Catalina

 

[MissTaken]

No disrespect intended, and maybe I am even wrong, but I get an uneasy feeling when reading all this, particularly this post, that for all the talk of 'let's see, it can be rescinded if that is what is wanted', that there is no intention of returning to the former forum only option and the sweet talk is a patronising way of putting everyone off guard then informing them it is final and forever. Hopefully I am wrong, but rings very much like a placating tactic to me.

Catalina

Not a problem, but that may be one of the reasons that it was started so spontaneously. To give a shot and it can be undone equally as spontaneously.

I do know that the site owner's would like to give a try.

But no, I am not placating.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

No disrespect intended, and maybe I am even wrong, but I get an uneasy feeling when reading all this, particularly this post, that for all the talk of 'let's see, it can be rescinded if that is what is wanted', that there is no intention of returning to the former forum only option and the sweet talk is a patronising way of putting everyone off guard then informing them it is final and forever. Hopefully I am wrong, but rings very much like a placating tactic to me.

Catalina

I must say I agree with the lady Catalina, it all sounds like platitudes. I heard to much of it in business not sure I want more of it

 

[lobito]

the more forums that open up, the more people will ahve chances to be assholes to each other.

 

[FungiUg]

the more forums that open up, the more people will ahve chances to be assholes to each other.

Oh my goodness! That is so true! Quick, let's close all of the forums and then the problem will cease!

 

[catalina_francisco]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with moderation as there is nothing wrong with free speech.

However what is bothering a lot of people is that their second home has been so disrupted. It feels to a lot as if suddenly their house has been divided. It will be decided what is serious BDSM and what is not serious BDSM…and who decides? Perhaps a non-BDSMer? This forum was supposedly here for all of us that wanted to share our feelings and emotions. To gain a place where you are not treated as a freak because of the 'sexual' preferences you have.

And see what has happened, instead of being a place full of happy BDSM who discuss freely about their ideas, we get a couple of simple minded persons who decided that it is time to disrupt the place and start to stir trouble.

I am extreme believer of freedom of speech and the right to express your individuality; however this is not expressing your freedom of speech. In fact what has happened is a limitation of the freedom of speech, There now needs to be more moderation, checking if a thread in BDSM Talk should be moved or not. There is going to be more control welcome to Big Brother and welcome to the new moderator job. Instead of being the old trusted all respected moderator, who was respected for her tolerance, you now will have to become Big Sister, checking every thread, or acting on a stream of angry PM’s. I remember you stating somewhere you had a life I think it just has ended.

Who says that making a birthday thread for a fellow BDSM’er is not serious talk? Who says that a word association game is not what we need or want. By having an open friendly environment where we can express our differences and also share a joke or two in the process, Literotica created in fact a place where friendships were blossoming, where mutual understanding between sub-cultures has been growing. By removing the fluff out of the system you remove a lot of bonding, which then will make the threads a lot more hostile. If I am in a bad mood, or tired from working long days, my entries will become a lot harsher, but by now people know that and say, Francisco is having a bad day, I am sure that tomorrow he will act normal again. If we remove ‘fluff’ what would happen is that it would be responded by a flame war.

Where can we find another forum where a heterosexual extreme male dominant can freely discuss without hostility the finer points of dominance with a bisexual female leather dominant and in the end gain mutual understanding?

If there are some who want and need to have another place to express their thoughts fine, let them have their own sub forum but leave our threads intact and our forum. They can post their ‘gal’ in the new thread and we can continue to have our own community.

A lot are saying give it a chance, see what happens. We have seen what happens when we do not express our thoughts; we get pushed aside and have the opinion of a small minority pushed upon us. The longer we have this monstrosity exist the longer it is going to cost us to get rid of it.

I mean if we only need to follow Lancecastor’s and Cheyenne’s example to get what we need, what is stopping us from following his example and doing exactly the same to get rid of the new ‘cabinet of horrors’.

Francisco

 

[SexyChele]

Blondgirl,

I like how you are thinking. Taking as much "whim" out of the moderator's hands as we can, is a good thing.

Now, I wonder though, when a thread is rated, if one poster rates it five stars, does it show five stars?

And, is there some way to know how many people have rated a thread.

Obviously not BlondGirl here, but it takes, I believe, at least 5 votes before any stars show up. And, just like the voting on the Lit stories, once you've voted on a thread you aren't supposed to be able to vote again.

Yes, you can find out the number of votes a thread has received and what the average is. If you run your cursor over the stars, you will get a little pop up that tells you the number of votes and the average.

It can a fun little thing, but I've never thought of using it for anything other than entertainment.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Not a problem, but that may be one of the reasons that it was started so spontaneously. To give a shot and it can be undone equally as spontaneously.

I do know that the site owner's would like to give a try.

But no, I am not placating.

I tend to disagree Miss T., respectfully of course. We have watched you evolve, got to know and like you through your postings, but this situation IMO is demonstrative of our belief a person cannot be switch in the sense they are true to their submissive and dominant selves equally and respectively, at least not without becoming a confused individual.

You consider yourself switch and feel this is possible and true. Reading between the lines, I get the clear impression you are not entirely comfortable with what has occurred. As a dominant, I would suggest the qualities necessary would carry you through to stand up for what you believe, and the board you represent. Similarly, as a submissive, your strength should give you the impetus to also take a stance instead of capitulating and placating the hoards for the interests of the powers that be.

I believe the submissive you were would have found the strength to present her point, not mention it then accept the negative outcome as if you haven't even spoken. You are the moderator, you are part of the community, you understand the relevance of the rebellion, but I feel your recent efforts to assimilate both dominant and submissive sides of your nature into a switch persona has only resulted in weakening you.

Sometimes in this world you have to make a stance, and there are too few people willing to these days. Is a sad reflection of our times and is why we are subject to the rules of the right wing western thought which negates the rights of others, particulary those that fall outside the square.

Catalina

 

[Arden]

I don't mind the split of the forums. We used to be able to come to the BDSM boards and read intelligent, well written, on-topic posts in almost every thread here. That's changed in the past 8 months or so. Way too many serious threads are now hijacked by flirting and playing. It's disheartening to have to read through 2-3 pages of BS to find another intelligent post again.

I preferred the BDSM forum back when people posted "on topic." This forum was created for a topic-specific purpose. If you want to have fun, there are other forums here ... the Playground if you want to play, the GB if you care to spend your days arguing, the Picture Threads if you want to look at T&A. The How To threads are available if you don't have a clue.

There has been a Playground for ages now. Those who complained about that split, originally, are still posting away there today...as happy as clams.

What makes BDSM so special that it should be immune to a split to eradicate the BS? Consider this... There were several attempts to make BDSM threads at the Playground last year. The BDSM Flirt thread, the Dungeon, etc. While one of them is still around after a lengthy period of silence, they were never well-received because of 'where' they were at. (A playground full of vanilla folk, for the most part) People want to interact with their own kind. So, why not have an area for BDSM'ers to play since they weren't received well elsewhere?

Do birthday threads, and personal "come see what I'm up to now" threads need to be on the BDSM boards? It's all in HOW the threads are constructed. Threads that are of an attention-seeking nature belong elsewhere. Whether it be the Playground, the GB, the How To's or a new "BDSM~Off Topic Zone." Less than 24 hours after the split, I'm already seeing some of the burden of fluff lifted from the true BDSM threads. Fluff isn't necessary for us to bond as a community.

Yes, it's disheartening to see some come in and cause problems. The difficult people have been here all along. We all have the option of not opening the threads they've started, or putting them on ignore. If you continue to stoke a fire, it'll keep on burning. I'd rather not see this junk on the BDSM boards either... I don't feel they are the sole contributors to the board split dilemma.

For those that feel the need to bash other boards here.... We remember when you used to post there. For some reason, you chose to leave. Now, you choose to expound on how you don't ever go there any more to make yourself look good. Who cares? What has this got to do with a new forum for BDSM folks?

Some fail to recognize that WE don't own this place called Literotica. Laurel and Manu do. They make the decisions here, and don't need to ask us for our opinion if they feel a change needs to be made. We need to honor their decisions instead of whining about them. We are their guests here, and their decisions should be respected.

 

[BlondGirl]

Originally posted by Arden Some fail to recognize that WE don't own this place called Literotica. Laurel and Manu do. ...We are their guests here, and their decisions should be respected.

As their guest, doesn't it makes sense that they want us to feel welcome and enjoy our time here so that we will return?

 

[Arden]

There are currently 187,430 Literotica members. There are unhappy members on every board here, for various reasons. It's unrealistic to think that Laurel and Manu can keep everyone happy all of the time.

Being happy in any area of life is a personal choice. I am responsible for my own happiness, not the owners of this website.

 

[catalina_francisco]

There are currently 187,430 Literotica members. There are unhappy members on every board here, for various reasons. It's unrealistic to think that Laurel and Manu can keep everyone happy all of the time.

Being happy in any area of life is a personal choice. I am responsible for my own happiness, not the owners of this website.

While I respect your view and agree in part, I find it unrealistic to assert anyone is happy 100% of the time in all areas without risking appearing to be in serious denial. There is always light and shade and because the actions of another may make us 'unhappy' in any respect, it is not refective of our overall happiness in our lives....if it is, there should be serious concerns about depression which is a medical condition.

Catalina

 

[emer]

There are currently 187,430 Literotica members. There are unhappy members on every board here, for various reasons. It's unrealistic to think that Laurel and Manu can keep everyone happy all of the time.

Being happy in any area of life is a personal choice. I am responsible for my own happiness, not the owners of this website.

LOL ... Damn Arden ... that AV of yours does make me want to go out and get a happy meal.

(is this considered Fluff???)

( or Flirting???)

(which board am I on, anyway ???)

 

[Arden]

To quote myself... "Being happy in any area of life is a personal choice. I am responsible for my own happiness, not the owners of this website."

I am responsible for my own feelings, period... whether they are positive or negative. I can choose to dwell in the negative, but it sure makes life miserable. Therefore, it is completely my choice to sit sadly on my pity pot, or let go of the things that make me unhappy and let life go on.

I know plenty about depression. I have an adult child that has been on medication for hyperactivity, ADD and depression for most of his life. Some people do need medical care to regulate their moods. Be that as it may, the majority of us are able to choose how we react to things.

Part of the beauty of growing older is that we are able to utilize the wisdom and strength we've gained throughout our lives to do our own problem solving, and not have to depend on others to do it for us.




*Passes emer one happy meal, to go*

 

[Mr Blonde]

Another thought/suggestion:

Instead of just moving things at the whim of the moderator, how about letting the readers of the forum decide.

The Thread Rating System

Hey, check it out! Thread rating is now enabled in the side forum.

Okay, BlondGirl, can you hatch a quick plan of how we can use the thread rating system? Suggest something and let's see if it flies.