What's Your Best Work?

[Kozmik_Fantasy]

MY best

Yay- virgin me is breaking her board cherry!

Anyhow- I saw this- and I figured I'd shamelessly promote myself... I am pretty good at it.

My faveorite werk *personal werk- hence the off-beat spelling* is "Delialah and Mark".

I had decided to go into Erotic writting right before I came up with the plot.

I had a lot of encouragement from online palz and I sat down and started writting it.

Delialah's persona is reflective of me.

She wants to please her man, is attracted to girls, and is a jaded innocent.
What I mean by that- is she uses her innocence to be sexually provacative- much like me.

Her friend Jamie is one of my ideal females.
Long, tossuled red hair, a body to die for... MMMMMMMM I can see her very vividly in my minds eyes... I'd devour her.

Mark is somewhat dominant... I love that in a man.

Anyhow... that is my writting debut.

My second story- about the raves...

Well- thats all me.

Its based on a fantasy about an actual guy I have met. I keep on regretting the choices I made regaurding that entire night and him... so thats my way of correcting my wrong doings.

*Smiles softly*

Let me know what you think about my writting.. I love to get feedback!
MAD LUV always-
kOz

 

[cymbidia]

kOz, hon? This wasn't really the right thread in which to solicit feedback for your virgin entry. Read the titles of these threads a little more closely, okay? Read what other people say before chiming in. See if your comments will add substantively to the subject matter under discussion before you post.

Here's a thought: why don't you go read everything we've already posted to this thread, get back to us with feedback (because we all love it, don't we?), and then we'll do the same for you?

Additionally, and FYI, there's an entire board here devoted to asking for and providing feedback on stories (and this isn't it). Here you go: http://www.literotica.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?forumid=1

And finally, there's a reading circle you can join here at Lit in which the members read each other's work and offer criticisms and lots of feedback in a scratching-each-other's-back sort of way. You might want to look into that. It's over at the link i gave you, too

 

[Whispersecret]

Hey, don't go putting words in my mouth, Cym. I don't automatically send feedback to people who send me feedback. Sorry, Coz. No offense to anyone. I just don't have the time or the inclination.

 

[Kozmik_Fantasy]

opps!

SORRY!!!

I *so* didnt mean to go and post on something I wasent to post about... Err.. that came out slightly wrong, But I think you get the jist.

*Blushes*

Thank you for telling me though!
MAD LUV
kOz

 

[chatbug]

What was your inspiration? What difficulties did you encounter along the way? What aspects of the story most please you?

My best story is Angel With a Devil Inside. It's a BDSM novella about a masturbatrix; my longest story to date.

My original inspiration was a picture that I had downloaded from a Usenet newsgroup. The picture struck me a certain way, and the beginning of the story came to me. The rest of the story was made up of personal experiences or other things I'd read.

The biggest difficulty I had was getting most of the details down on paper. Once I started writing, it was like a movie was playing, and I was just recording what I was seeing. I had to go back over the story at least a dozen times adding details I'd left out.

Since the story was so long, I felt I could spend time fleshing out the personalities of the characters. I'm not sure I did a great job, but I tried to make the main characters, Angel and Bert, real.

 

[Skibum]

Maybe I should go study your technique).

I would NOT advise that! There are much better writers to emulate. Including my Love, CreamyLady. If you can write as well as she, you will be doing very well indeed.

 

[Ulyssa]

Somebody missed the point.

It's okay NCmVoyeur. The rest of us understood what you were saying.

Cym--why dear you're so...so dominant!

 

[cymbidia]

I'm sexually submissive, Lyssa darlin'. It's not the same as "doormat". In most other ways, i'm the original bitch-on-wheels-teacher type who has high expectations and doesn't mind letting it be known when those expectations haven't been met.

Just ask my 12 year old daughter.

 

[Ulyssa]

Bitch-On-Wheels-Teacher-Type.

Just ask my 12 year old daughter.

I'd do that sweetheart, but Laurel wouldn't let me post my results.

Now that I think of it, if I weren't positive that I'm older than you, I'd swear that you were my eighth grade general science teacher. "cept her picture wasn't as much fun.

It's funny though I'll ask a family member a question and they'll start to answer me, and then stop and say--"If you're planning to use this in a story, you can forget it!"

They always seem to know, too. Must be why I can't play poker.

 

[christo]

The story that has recieved the best score for me was "Mother of the Bride", which surprised me. When I posted it I thought it wouldn't attract many votes or generate much feedback. It was loooong, there wasn't any sex for the first two-thirds, and it was more romantic than hot. But it did well out of the gate, and it's ranked in the top 2 or 3 in the Mature category since it posted.

Like many of my stories this one was inspired by a real-life experience. And, like my other stories, my experience didn't have the sex part of it. Stupid reality!

I went to a wedding as the date of a female friend of mine, who invited me so she wouldn't have to deal with her former boyfriend, who was one of the groomsmen. I only knew my date, I didn't know another soul. So we sit, the groom and his men are at the altar, and the bride, a girl named Tracy comes down, escorted by her sister.

At least I thought it was her sister. The bride had been raised by her single mother, and when I say they could have been sisters, I tell no lie. The resemblence was that striking. Both the bride and her mother were beautiful women, really gorgeous.

When I asked my friend about them she told me that Tracy's mom had her when she was just 18, her father pretty much abandoned them, and her mom raised her alone. It made things a bit uncomforatble that Tracy's father had suddenly appeared in his daughter's life a few years previous and was at the wedding. Since I knew no one and didn't have to make the rounds talking to everyone I had a chance to people-watch all night, and there was some major tension there between her mom and her father. But nothing really bad happened.

Except for the embarassing moment I had thanks to my date. She spent most of the night talking to her ex-boyfriend (who, incidentally, became her husband a couple of years later), but when Tracy's mother and a few other relatives came over to say hello to us on their rounds to the table my friend introduced me and said, "When you came down the aisle with Tracy he thought you were her sister! He couldn't get over how young you look, he can't believe you're her mother!" I smiled nervously and then Tracy's aunt said, "Look at him blushing!" and I was, bad. It was not my smoothest moment. But it stuck in my mind, and was the inspiration for the story.

Here's the link, hope folks'll check it out:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=6635

 

[NCmVoyeur]

I think my best character is Melanie in Still Life with Teeth. I wrote the story as a challenge; I was to find a part of me that was really monstrous, and write about it. Well, I picked the voracious, never satisfied, part and I actually liked her.

* * * *
My best story to date, though, is The Sunpath.

I truly enjoyed "Still Life with Teeth." For such a short story, I got a very vivid sense of the character. I loved how art, hunger and sex all were all woven into the fabric of her character.

It's a toss-up as to which I liked better: that or "The Sunpath." Both are excellent examples of how a story can be erotic without necessarily being (porno)graphic.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

For such a short story, I got a very vivid sense of the character.

OK. OK. Textbook example of a misplaced modifier. It's early. I haven't had enough coffee yet. My apologies.

 

[CreamyLady]

Ah, NC, don't worry about a misplaced modifier before coffee. Even after my tea, my modifiers end up in the damnedest places.

Thank you, by the way.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Cym

I loved your "Pierced" story, even though I really don't care for BDSM. YOu have a wonderful way of drawing the reader in, and I look forward to more works by you. Your character development is astonishing, because you don't describe them through words, but through actions, which can be quite a feat. Also, the pictures are great too, although I admit that I cringed and crossed my legs! Nonetheless, thank you for sharing your experiences with the "vanilla" clan.

 

[RisiaSkye]

This is kinda weird for me, because I mostly write poetry that never gets read or voted on. Meanwhile, the stories I've tossed together get votes, so go figure.

I really like the poem "Fixation"
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=9806
which almost nobody has seen (or at least, they haven't been voting .) But, it gets something right, somehow. And, it's kind of a response to Havoc's "Oral Exercises", which is one of my all time favorite literotica poems, so I have a special attachment to it.


Of the stories, I like "A Rainy Saturday Night".
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=877

It was really difficult to both attempt to describe my blowjob technique, and imagine it from a male perspective. Trying to think like a male lead character is very difficult, but entertaining, for me. And I like the mystery of it--why would she do this? How does she choose the guys? What does Kris mean by a "club?" Although that bothered some people...it seems to have inspired the most feedback, though. A couple of other stories have done better on the top lists, but that one gets the most anonymous (and personal) feedback, which is maybe the best thing about posting our work here, right?

 

[Ask For More]

self promotion time!

Here's my personal fave out of all the stories I have written so far:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=7281

Strangely it's the one I took the least time to write...I literally reeled it off in just over and hour. And despite the fact I have got the most responses from this, it also has the least votes....funny how things work eh?

 

[Softly]

Personal Favorite Story

When writing a story, I try to creat a plot that is unusual and has a twist at the end. At the same time, I want the characters to be likeable, real people to the reader.

It is only recently that I think that my basic punctuation
has become acceptable.

All that said, the story that I am most proud of, and that brings tears to my eyes every time that I read it is;
"Most Loving Man on Earth."

Until Saturday, it was a 4.40 story on page one of the Romance top story section. After four 1 votes, it is now the top story on page two.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Re: Isn't it ironic...

But my best story is called Broken Window and it is not on this site since the protagonist is underaged.

I'll try to find the url for you.
http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/erotic/brokenwindow.html

I'd appreciate any criticisms or comments you might want to give me. Thanks.

I followed the link provided and found the story to be well worth the effort. I'm not normally a fan of underage stories, and agree with this Site Policy regarding same, but this is an extremely well-written and sensitive 'sexual awakening' story. Truly literary, it evoked feint echos of works like "Look Homeward, Angel" and "Summer of '42."

Ulyssa, I'm a big fan of musical references in stories (the Hendrix title was priceless ), and the chronologue of songs gave a nice sense of the passage of time, but even then there might have been a few too many thrown in. It got a bit distracting.

Also, you seem to be floating a bit between third-person objective and a more omniscient POV. I kept wondering if the female's motivations were to be explained ('why is she doing this?'), but you never quite got there.

Minor points, really. The prose, pacing, and mood were excellent.

 

[Ulyssa]

A Major Time Thank You!

I followed the link provided and found the story to be well worth the effort. I'm not normally a fan of underage stories, and agree with this Site Policy regarding same, but this is an extremely well-written and sensitive 'sexual awakening' story. Truly literary, it evoked feint echos of works like "Look Homeward, Angel" and "Summer of '42."

You have mail!

Also, you seem to be floating a bit between third-person objective and a more omniscient POV. I kept wondering if the female's motivations were to be explained ('why is she doing this?'), but you never quite got there.

Guilty as charged on that one. I'll need to rethink my structure. Haven't even read my own piece for about 2 years.

Minor points, really. The prose, pacing, and mood were excellent.

You have a second e-mail. Take it to heart!

I really thank you for the criticism and the praise. I hit one of those Low Self Esteem moments, and your words cheered me enormously.

[Edited by Ulyssa on 05-10-2001 at 10:46 AM]

 

[cymbidia]

I loved your "Pierced" story, even though I really don't care for BDSM.

I can't tell you how much honest feedback from non-BDSM folks means to me with regard to my decidedly kinked BDSM-themed "stories". I'm comfy with the idea that the BDSM people will be able to see and (i hope!) appreciate the honesty and authenticity of my stuff, but i just *know* most of the rest of you will read a few lines, wrinkle your noses, say "ewwww...", and then click the hell out.

Therefore, it's all the more valuable to me when someone like you, Myst, provides me with the honesty of your response to my words. I don't ever ask for positive feedback, just honest responses. Thank you, Myst, and you have mail.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

I really like the poem "Fixation"
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=9806
which almost nobody has seen (or at least, they haven't been voting .)

This work definitely warrants a plug. Take a minute (it's very short poem) and read it. I got quite a charge out of it. Very well done, Risia.

 

[RisiaSkye]

This work definitely warrants a plug. Take a minute (it's very short poem) and read it. I got quite a charge out of it. Very well done, Risia.

You're the best! This made my whole week. And before I have to go to a potentially horrible conference, too. You have mail.

*Heading over to check out "Reminiscences"*
Risia

 

[RisiaSkye]

Sorry for the double post, but....turnabout's fair play

I'm most pleased with "Reminiscences" http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=8815

I really liked this one...a sweet romance. The format takes a little getting used to--it's a bit hard on the eyes. But, that's really a small quibble. I quite enjoyed it, and thought the closing frame worked particularly well.

 

[Ulyssa]

Reminiscences

The format takes a little getting used to--it's a bit hard on the eyes. But, that's really a small quibble. I quite enjoyed it, and thought the closing frame worked particularly well.
[/B]

NCmVoyeur--I have to agree about the difficulty in reading the alternate italics and bold in that single long paragraph format--but it's so loveable that I forgive you. Bet you could re-edit it someday to be a dynamic tour-de-force read.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Re: Reminiscences

I have to agree about the difficulty in reading the alternate italics and bold in that single long paragraph format

The idea was to reflect visually the two existences: a place where form and rules don't exist versus the'ordered' world of the caretaker.

I'll grant that the format is experimental and takes a bit of adjustment. By elminating the 'he said,' 'she said' sort of narration, my intent was to allow for a rhythm in the speech patterns to develop which evokes the back-and-forth of the sexual act. I also hoped to create something in the nature of a stream-of-consciousness feel (since, in essence, that's what going on).

Well, anyway, that was the idea.