When 1201 Came to Visit

[butters]

You probably do not mean this.

more this, i would say

 

[butters]

Nein. Du bist ein Anonamausländer.

anonymouse?

 

[corndog_]

anonymouse?

Forgive my Austrian accent.

 

[butters]

Forgive my Austrian accent.

you are forgiven everything, even things you've not yet done. that good enough?

 

[corndog_]

you are forgiven everything, even things you've not yet done. that good enough?

Just exclaim "Hail Mary!" when you reach that point of no return.

 

[butters]

Just exclaim "Hail Mary!" when you reach that point of no return.

oh god...

 

[twelveoone]

sighs
"Je est un autre"

which could be read as
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10385841-i-is-an-other

Of which I have, and neglected to mention, but do recommend.

"You are always a different person."
him too.

 

[Ashesh9]

Ich bin ein Ausländer

1201 ,
how would i say " i'm an Indian " in German : would it go Ich bin Hind ?
regards,
--A9

 

[twelveoone]

1201 ,
how would i say " i'm an Indian " in German : would it go Ich bin Hind ?
regards,
--A9

Ich bin ein Hind
I suppose, let me direct some questions to you?
Indian not Desi?
And when did the concept of "India" arrive?
the concept of German?
or American?
at least for Germans and Americans the language is relatively homogenized.

 

[Ashesh9]

Ich bin ein Hind
I suppose, let me direct some questions to you?
Indian not Desi?
And when did the concept of "India" arrive?
the concept of German?
or American?
at least for Germans and Americans the language is relatively homogenized.

1201 ,
Desi is what Indians in USA like to call themselves : not us who reside in India . Concept of India came with the European thought / Nations as opposed to a gaggle of Hindu or Muslm kingdoms or empires constantly fightin' or allying amonst themselves !?!
India the word is a corruption of the word Hindu or Hind as European tongues couldnot get around the pronounciation of H in Hindu : resultantly callin' what was Bharat Inde or Indies or at last India !!??
--A9

 

[twelveoone]

1201 ,
Desi is what Indians in USA like to call themselves : not us who reside in India . Concept of India came with the European thought / Nations as opposed to a gaggle of Hindu or Muslm kingdoms or empires constantly fightin' or allying amonst themselves !?!
India the word is a corruption of the word Hindu or Hind as European tongues couldnot get around the pronounciation of H in Hindu : resultantly callin' what was Bharat Inde or Indies or at last India !!??
--A9

you do know, I knew that - the brits
with the germans, it was the french
in the US it was some disease called Manifest Destiny
BTW Austria is Österreich
Ausländer
I suspect you knew that, it is easy enough to look up
and corndog ist ein Alt?
what I am here, is a handful of poems, a whole lot of comments, the source of some good information, the target of at least one anon, a few wags, and the subject of more than one poem with negative portrayal
In English
I am am outsider
why hell Ash, I just show up every two months or so, just to force the anons to look at new poems to see if I'm there, heh, heh, that's our little secret - I don't write
Really?
No, really I'm taking blood types, I'm Dick Cheney and I want another heart.

 

[Ashesh9]

you do know, I knew that - the brits
with the germans, it was the french
in the US it was some disease called Manifest Destiny
BTW Austria is Österreich
Ausländer
I suspect you knew that, it is easy enough to look up
and corndog ist ein Alt?
what I am here, is a handful of poems, a whole lot of comments, the source of some good information, the target of at least one anon, a few wags, and the subject of more than one poem with negative portrayal
In English
I am am outsider
why hell Ash, I just show up every two months or so, just to force the anons to look at new poems to see if I'm there, heh, heh, that's our little secret - I don't write
Really?
No, really I'm taking blood types, I'm Dick Cheney and I want another heart.

1201 , thnx for replyin' to my query
---A9

 

[butters]

you do know, I knew that - the brits
with the germans, it was the french
in the US it was some disease called Manifest Destiny
BTW Austria is Österreich
Ausländer
I suspect you knew that, it is easy enough to look up
and corndog ist ein Alt?
what I am here, is a handful of poems, a whole lot of comments, the source of some good information, the target of at least one anon, a few wags, and the subject of more than one poem with negative portrayal
In English
I am am outsider
why hell Ash, I just show up every two months or so, just to force the anons to look at new poems to see if I'm there, heh, heh, that's our little secret - I don't write
Really?
No, really I'm taking blood types, I'm Dick Cheney and I want another heart.

outsider - They will answer any question, even those about themselves, if you are willing to pay the price.

 

[twelveoone]

In response to several who have enquired about my love affair with 1201, I tender the following:

When 1201* Came to Visit

Perhaps some of you may recall that I had extended an invitation for 1201 to come and visit so we might bury the hatchet. Little did I know the learned man’s time was short!
I sent him a round trip ticket from his mountain retreat to Los Angeles. He called to say he would meet me at the airport. I prepared myself with a signboard cut from the side of a Kotex box with his name written in large letters.
A cantankerous grey haired man was the first off the plane, followed by an attractive stewardess who was pushing him ahead. He wore a Sherlock Holmes’s hat and a large Nixon button, a cross between Elmer Fudd and Mister Magoo with a little Andy Rooney thrown in for cantankery. Arguing furiously with the stewardess, he threw up his hands, resigned to his fate.
The waiting police escort was called off just in time. Seems he had been muttering about a literary bomb and was misunderstood. Needless to say his return ticket on that airline was canceled.
I met him as he entered the terminal, waving the sign.
"I guess a Trojan box would have been too small,” he snarked.”
He had only one bag, an old style suitcase
Heavy as hell, packed with various masterpieces he carried for inspiration and a ten lb. Roget Theosaurous.Too heavy to carry, I rented a wheeled luggage carrier and we proceeded to the parking area.
I helped him up the running board of the yellow Hummer.
“Gas guzzler,” he commented under his breath.
“You’ll stay with us,” I said, “unless you have other plans.”
“First we’ll see the accommodations,” he muttered.
“Can you put on the air conditioning? God damit’s hot”
“I thought you lived in the desert”
“You don’t know shit about me,” he smirked
For the next half hour we drove in silence
He had taken control of the radio and was switching rapidly between stations
“What music do you like?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” he barked.
Finally the traffic broke and we drove with ease, right up to the driveway of my home.
“Don’t you have a garage for this monster?”
“I keep my Ferrari in the garage.”
“The Hummer does fine out here, hardly ever rains.”
“What do you pay for water?”
“$250 every other month, a little more if I fill the pool.”
“Swimming,” he smirked. “fuck’en waste of time,” he grunted. “Didn’t you ever notice, they ain’t got fins, humans ain’t fish!”
Of course it took us a while to get home, stopping for him to bathroom hop. He claimed the food on the plane was a lethal diuretic. It turned out he had drunk the nonpotable water from the bathroom sink. Several hours later we arrived. The trip is usually an hour.
“This is your house?” he said when I helped him disembark.” “Yes.” “Couldn’t you find something newer?” he asked.
“It’s a 1936 Spanish style, we like it.”
“Aw, trade it in on a new one, I hope it has plumbing?”
“Don’t worry, you will be comfortable.”
Once inside, he introduced himself to my wife, “You must be the maid, take my bag”.
“Rest up, I suggested, “I have seats for the opera tonight.”
Evidently the accommodations were adequate, he snored for the rest of the day, exiting at 4 pm in a sleepwalking daze, completely nude. I must admit for an old man his phallus was enormous. I woke him gently and suggested he dress.
“What’s for chow?”
“Thought I’d take you to a famous Chinese restaurant”
“Nixon open the door to China, you know that? Damn ping-pong diplomacy. Never made no sense. Ok let’s go.”
My wife, a tall blond former model and my long time Ethiopian mistress, a statuesque woman dressed with a sarong that showed off her gorgeous large breasts welcomed him, kissing him on both cheeks.
1201 greeted them with, “You folks ever get hungry, and can we get going?” and to my mistress, “Maybe you want to get dressed first?”
We piled in the Hummer and off to San Gabriel, a great diner of fresh crabs and assorted seafood. 1201 was relaxing at last, downed three bottles of Tsingtao. Complained that the beer was not as fresh as in he’d had in Shanghai, “can’t take the un-refrigerated boat trip to the states,” but at least he liked the crabs. Made some joke about better to eat them than have them… No one laughed.
In a better mood he started patting my wife’s thigh, she moved her chair twice but he moved his.
“Your husband thought I as gay,” he said in a loud voice. Half the Chinese turned around. The rest spoke no English. “But I ain’t gay,” he shouted back at them. He turned to my mistress, grabbed her left breast, “Nice tits.” She giggled nervously.
We drove to the opera hall, La Traviata was playing. 1201 made some joke that in Hollywood it was called “La Travolta.” My mistress had complained that he kept rubbing her knee on the way so she squeezed into the front seat with my wife. Once inside he busied himself with the libretto. He seemed to know the opera by heart, decided to sing along in the last act. Needless to say this caused a commotion and we were asked to leave before the curtain call. “Amateurs, can’t compete,” he shouted as he was dragged outside.
The next day I awoke to find him sitting in a yellow rubber dinghy in my swimming pool. The dog was in there with him and he was lecturing her on his poetic theories. She seemed content with the attention as he paddled in circles reciting snatches of Dante. Once again he was nude as a grape. Fortunately only my neighbor, whose bedroom has a view of my pool, is a confirmed lesbian and couldn’t have cared less had she lifted her head.
That evening, after I prepared a baby back rib barbecue, smoking them slowly for three hours. He dug in finishing two large servings and then rated my efforts one notch above McRib week. He seemed to enjoy the wine from my small vineyard. “It’s ok, could have used a better fermentation, still a bit too sweet.” Still, he finished a bottle. Was there anything this genius did not know?
We caught the early show at the new Catalina Jazz restaurant. 1201 frowned, said he preferred the old Miles Davis sets, improv left him cold. At last he calmed down a bit. “Them coloreds have a way with music.” he boomed. “It’s in their blood!” He turned to my mistress, "Can you dance or sing?"
I swallowed hoping no one heard. I was proven wrong when a beer bottle was thrown in our direction. We made a quick retreat.
As the evening was still young, I suggested we go to a cabaret in West Hollywood, famous for satire and gay impersonators. He seemed to take it all in stride, even getting up to volunteer to sing with the Judy Garland impersonator while waving a large rainbow in shiny glitz.
“What do you mean that wasn’t the real Garland? He kept muttering on the way back.
“I’m leaving in the morning “he announced suddenly.
“What’s your rush?”
“Got stuff to do, they’re termite-ing the neighbor and I’ve got to watch that none of those buggers march into my place”.
"Well, would you like to have a date before you leave?”
“What-da-ya mean, a date, a fig, or a cashew?” This was his attempt at humor.
“No, I know a famous escort who will come over and rock your world.
“What’s wrong with my world you smug bastard? He quickly added, “Well ok!” I didn’t mention she was a transsexual.
The escort visited 1201 sometime between 2am and 5am. I showed her to his room. Later we heard some screams but it didn’t sound like it was the $300 hooker’s voice.
When I woke him at 10 am, for his flight back, he had warmed up.
“Boy that was some night! Don’t remember much but the first time in years my prostate is not backed up, as he fidgeted rubbing his butt. “Are you OK?” “Just an old scar where they clipped off the tail, heh, heh.” he explained. “I might even try my, err, hand at some erotic poetry after that experience.”
When we got to the airport, we checked his suitcase at the curb. Then he doffed his cap, embraced me, kisssing me on the mouth, and grabbing my crotch at the same time.
“Your not so bad, erectus, small letters, as he squeezed, ha ha, just remember, I’m the big dog—and no more 1201 poems. “Yes sir, I replied.”
His grip was like steel. I knew I had met my match. What an experience! I missed him already. Such brilliance and acidity. Then I realized, ran awkwardly after him, my testicles still smarting, but it was too late…
“Take the panties off your head,” I shouted!”…..as he entered the x-ray box.


*(Or was this the 1201 from an alternate universe)

bumped for clear and ob
this is at least the second in a series, the other was lawsuit territory
Now erectus to his credit, waited to I got back from an absence so I would see it.
What he did not know or the yahoos at the bottom know, was why I was gone. Or that I was talked into coming back.
Notice how coolly I end the discussion at the top.

Now do you two, really think that comment was beyond the pale, bite me has this in green
reproduced here:

tear sheet - 2b

le chat noir's shadow plays, a ghost
on furrowed brow, no how

no howl, I play with words
like your correspodence of truth

and vague hilarity ensues
who, who am I speaking to?

no noblesse on either part
you are or you are not, but still

the rotting slop of the shire, sir-
best served beneath the toes.

Well I guess this is beyond the pale too but congrats on your H, great one, and remember I left a five. If you notice on many of mine near the top are also comments, a lot of those poems once had H's.

 

[butters]

this was a funny read.

 

[twelveoone]

this was a funny read.

mine or erectussus'

 

[ishtat]

Hmm: For a moment or two I thought that 1201 was Shalom Auslander. Which oddly, is more believable that some of the other contentions.

I would have liked to have believed that 1201 wrote SA's "Lament to his foreskin." the title was something like that.

 

[butters]

mine or erectussus'

such sibilance

the whole thread. i was referencing the whole. started off funny, grew smarter, sharper, even funner

 

[twelveoone]

Hmm: For a moment or two I thought that 1201 was Shalom Auslander. Which oddly, is more believable that some of the other contentions.

I would have liked to have believed that 1201 wrote SA's "Lament to his foreskin." the title was something like that.

Now, do I look Jewish to you?
Shalom is a very, very bad boy. Looks Irish. I think he's Irish trying to pass.

As an adult, he rebelled against his Orthodox Jewish upbringing, including having a prostitute and a non-kosher cheeseburger in the same night.

 

[Tsotha]

most days I can't understand what the fuck is going on
...and all these sharks in the water

 

[ghost_girl]

somehow I got the feeling that this was an unauthorized autobiography! needa reign in your alts, 1201!

 

[twelveoone]

somehow I got the feeling that this was an unauthorized autobiography! needa reign in your alts, 1201!

that's cute
m2394

why the fuck did I come back? to submit one insulty christmas card to the anons?
I can wait to December you know.

 

[normal jean]

that's cute
m2394

why the fuck did I come back? to submit one insulty christmas card to the anons?
I can wait to December you know.

awww, come now. you know I love you! in ALL my forms

 

[Matryoshka]

that's cute
m2394

why the fuck did I come back? to submit one insulty christmas card to the anons?
I can wait to December you know.

Perhaps because while the story had an amusing quality, some know you better than that:

You'd never get caught dead in a Sherlock Holmes hat

You don't mutter

You don't reach out and just grope someone's boob

It's probably more like a Fedora, dry wit hidden by grumbles, and obviously you'd at least have a first date and find out if they are real before grabbing anything but a drink.

 

[twelveoone]

Perhaps because while the story had an amusing quality, some know you better than that:

You'd never get caught dead in a Sherlock Holmes hat

You don't mutter

You don't reach out and just grope someone's boob

It's probably more like a Fedora, dry wit hidden by grumbles, and obviously you'd at least have a first date and find out if they are real before grabbing anything but a drink.

I give erectus some credit, he must have read some of my stuff and picked up the
'Sherlock Holmes' reference
he from the yard had come in
and generally speaking grabbing the check, although I have gone the other way at times.