When 1201 Came to Visit

[twelveoone]

awww, come now. you know I love you! in ALL my forms

look, we have been relatively honest, some less so
I wish I could remember the pass word for ParrotDee
though the cabanas of the bland and tan
I just can't fit it anything serious. And it would be hilarious if the anon popped out and accused me of stealing it.

 

[twelveoone]

In response to several who have enquired about my love affair with 1201, I tender the following:

When 1201* Came to Visit

Perhaps some of you may recall that I had extended an invitation for 1201 to come and visit so we might bury the hatchet. Little did I know the learned man’s time was short!
I sent him a round trip ticket from his mountain retreat to Los Angeles. He called to say he would meet me at the airport. I prepared myself with a signboard cut from the side of a Kotex box with his name written in large letters.
A cantankerous grey haired man was the first off the plane, followed by an attractive stewardess who was pushing him ahead. He wore a Sherlock Holmes’s hat and a large Nixon button, a cross between Elmer Fudd and Mister Magoo with a little Andy Rooney thrown in for cantankery. Arguing furiously with the stewardess, he threw up his hands, resigned to his fate.
The waiting police escort was called off just in time. Seems he had been muttering about a literary bomb and was misunderstood. Needless to say his return ticket on that airline was canceled.
I met him as he entered the terminal, waving the sign.
"I guess a Trojan box would have been too small,” he snarked.”
He had only one bag, an old style suitcase
Heavy as hell, packed with various masterpieces he carried for inspiration and a ten lb. Roget Theosaurous.Too heavy to carry, I rented a wheeled luggage carrier and we proceeded to the parking area.
I helped him up the running board of the yellow Hummer.
“Gas guzzler,” he commented under his breath.
“You’ll stay with us,” I said, “unless you have other plans.”
“First we’ll see the accommodations,” he muttered.
“Can you put on the air conditioning? God damit’s hot”
“I thought you lived in the desert”
“You don’t know shit about me,” he smirked
For the next half hour we drove in silence
He had taken control of the radio and was switching rapidly between stations
“What music do you like?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” he barked.
Finally the traffic broke and we drove with ease, right up to the driveway of my home.
“Don’t you have a garage for this monster?”
“I keep my Ferrari in the garage.”
“The Hummer does fine out here, hardly ever rains.”
“What do you pay for water?”
“$250 every other month, a little more if I fill the pool.”
“Swimming,” he smirked. “fuck’en waste of time,” he grunted. “Didn’t you ever notice, they ain’t got fins, humans ain’t fish!”
Of course it took us a while to get home, stopping for him to bathroom hop. He claimed the food on the plane was a lethal diuretic. It turned out he had drunk the nonpotable water from the bathroom sink. Several hours later we arrived. The trip is usually an hour.
“This is your house?” he said when I helped him disembark.” “Yes.” “Couldn’t you find something newer?” he asked.
“It’s a 1936 Spanish style, we like it.”
“Aw, trade it in on a new one, I hope it has plumbing?”
“Don’t worry, you will be comfortable.”
Once inside, he introduced himself to my wife, “You must be the maid, take my bag”.
“Rest up, I suggested, “I have seats for the opera tonight.”
Evidently the accommodations were adequate, he snored for the rest of the day, exiting at 4 pm in a sleepwalking daze, completely nude. I must admit for an old man his phallus was enormous. I woke him gently and suggested he dress.
“What’s for chow?”
“Thought I’d take you to a famous Chinese restaurant”
“Nixon open the door to China, you know that? Damn ping-pong diplomacy. Never made no sense. Ok let’s go.”
My wife, a tall blond former model and my long time Ethiopian mistress, a statuesque woman dressed with a sarong that showed off her gorgeous large breasts welcomed him, kissing him on both cheeks.
1201 greeted them with, “You folks ever get hungry, and can we get going?” and to my mistress, “Maybe you want to get dressed first?”
We piled in the Hummer and off to San Gabriel, a great diner of fresh crabs and assorted seafood. 1201 was relaxing at last, downed three bottles of Tsingtao. Complained that the beer was not as fresh as in he’d had in Shanghai, “can’t take the un-refrigerated boat trip to the states,” but at least he liked the crabs. Made some joke about better to eat them than have them… No one laughed.
In a better mood he started patting my wife’s thigh, she moved her chair twice but he moved his.
“Your husband thought I as gay,” he said in a loud voice. Half the Chinese turned around. The rest spoke no English. “But I ain’t gay,” he shouted back at them. He turned to my mistress, grabbed her left breast, “Nice tits.” She giggled nervously.
We drove to the opera hall, La Traviata was playing. 1201 made some joke that in Hollywood it was called “La Travolta.” My mistress had complained that he kept rubbing her knee on the way so she squeezed into the front seat with my wife. Once inside he busied himself with the libretto. He seemed to know the opera by heart, decided to sing along in the last act. Needless to say this caused a commotion and we were asked to leave before the curtain call. “Amateurs, can’t compete,” he shouted as he was dragged outside.
The next day I awoke to find him sitting in a yellow rubber dinghy in my swimming pool. The dog was in there with him and he was lecturing her on his poetic theories. She seemed content with the attention as he paddled in circles reciting snatches of Dante. Once again he was nude as a grape. Fortunately only my neighbor, whose bedroom has a view of my pool, is a confirmed lesbian and couldn’t have cared less had she lifted her head.
That evening, after I prepared a baby back rib barbecue, smoking them slowly for three hours. He dug in finishing two large servings and then rated my efforts one notch above McRib week. He seemed to enjoy the wine from my small vineyard. “It’s ok, could have used a better fermentation, still a bit too sweet.” Still, he finished a bottle. Was there anything this genius did not know?
We caught the early show at the new Catalina Jazz restaurant. 1201 frowned, said he preferred the old Miles Davis sets, improv left him cold. At last he calmed down a bit. “Them coloreds have a way with music.” he boomed. “It’s in their blood!” He turned to my mistress, "Can you dance or sing?"
I swallowed hoping no one heard. I was proven wrong when a beer bottle was thrown in our direction. We made a quick retreat.
As the evening was still young, I suggested we go to a cabaret in West Hollywood, famous for satire and gay impersonators. He seemed to take it all in stride, even getting up to volunteer to sing with the Judy Garland impersonator while waving a large rainbow in shiny glitz.
“What do you mean that wasn’t the real Garland? He kept muttering on the way back.
“I’m leaving in the morning “he announced suddenly.
“What’s your rush?”
“Got stuff to do, they’re termite-ing the neighbor and I’ve got to watch that none of those buggers march into my place”.
"Well, would you like to have a date before you leave?”
“What-da-ya mean, a date, a fig, or a cashew?” This was his attempt at humor.
“No, I know a famous escort who will come over and rock your world.
“What’s wrong with my world you smug bastard? He quickly added, “Well ok!” I didn’t mention she was a transsexual.
The escort visited 1201 sometime between 2am and 5am. I showed her to his room. Later we heard some screams but it didn’t sound like it was the $300 hooker’s voice.
When I woke him at 10 am, for his flight back, he had warmed up.
“Boy that was some night! Don’t remember much but the first time in years my prostate is not backed up, as he fidgeted rubbing his butt. “Are you OK?” “Just an old scar where they clipped off the tail, heh, heh.” he explained. “I might even try my, err, hand at some erotic poetry after that experience.”
When we got to the airport, we checked his suitcase at the curb. Then he doffed his cap, embraced me, kisssing me on the mouth, and grabbing my crotch at the same time.
“Your not so bad, erectus, small letters, as he squeezed, ha ha, just remember, I’m the big dog—and no more 1201 poems. “Yes sir, I replied.”
His grip was like steel. I knew I had met my match. What an experience! I missed him already. Such brilliance and acidity. Then I realized, ran awkwardly after him, my testicles still smarting, but it was too late…
“Take the panties off your head,” I shouted!”…..as he entered the x-ray box.


*(Or was this the 1201 from an alternate universe)

“Your not so bad, erectus, small letters, as he squeezed, ha ha, just remember, I’m the big dog—and no more 1201 poems. “Yes sir, I replied.”
His grip was like steel. I knew I had met my match. What an experience! I missed him already. Such brilliance and acidity. Then I realized, ran awkwardly after him, my testicles still smarting, but it was too late…

yep, looks like a metaphor for something. Ash. And his yap was better than yours.
Also a quicker learner.

 

[HarryHill]

“Your not so bad, erectus, small letters, as he squeezed, ha ha, just remember, I’m the big dog—and no more 1201 poems. “Yes sir, I replied.”
His grip was like steel. I knew I had met my match. What an experience! I missed him already. Such brilliance and acidity. Then I realized, ran awkwardly after him, my testicles still smarting, but it was too late…

yep, looks like a metaphor for something. Ash. And his yap was better than yours.
Also a quicker learner.
*(Or was this the 1201 from an alternate universe)

Bizzarro 1201
On a lesser note, E is attempting to swim from Florida to Cuba, Haven't heard from him in weeks now

 

[pensivepoet]

On a lesser note, E is attempting to swim from Florida to Cuba, Haven't heard from him in weeks now

You shoulda warned him not to start from Orlando. It's a bitch getting across that swamp.

 

[Ashesh9]

enquiry

Bizzarro 1201
On a lesser note, E is attempting to swim from Florida to Cuba, Haven't heard from him in weeks now

Harry ,
Erectus has come back from Nepal ? didn't know this . I remember he wanted to jump naked into the Ganges River !! Great Guy : Erectus , one of the Best !
regards,
A9

 

[twelveoone]

Harry ,
Erectus has come back from Nepal ? didn't know this . I remember he wanted to jump naked into the Ganges River !! Great Guy : Erectus , one of the Best !
regards,
A9

One of your best friends? Even though I don't believe in consensus views, I don't think he was held in high regard here as a poet.
Still I did notice an improvement, and the way I read the end, a thanks.
You, I notice none. Just bombast from Bombay.
Now you two lovelies have posted how many "poems" of this ilk, and You whine about a limerick, that may or may not be About You??!!!!!???
Remember Ash, you have shown absolutely no conception of what poetry is all about.
Ash + kid without raincoat + cosmic question "Why"???!!!!! = sympathy ploy

Response to Trix
"Father, humanitarian, poet" = evasion and/or demagoguery

Response to me, well did you read anything?

Really, resident arrogant jerk = transference, more demagoguery.

How strange is the Ganges
the river of the dead
that your friend now jumps in
in the hopes of being rebored.