When is it poetry and when is it not?

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Okay... I played some with it.



She’s hurting, alone, sad.
Her body shattered, consumed
with pain and tears.

They flow faster each trip
down her soft cheeks.
Her heart, her love, is gone.

Each tear tumbles freely,
trying to cover her, shield her.
She needs to heal, to breathe.

Look she sees the peak
The point of freedom in reach.
Grasping it she prays.

Gently it holds her,
Protects her, never lets her go.
Light burns the dark and loves her.

See her face lifted high
She’s there on the mountain soaring
Weightless with no worries...

Free

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I'm off to bed, but I wrote this one and figured we'd disect it to if you want. Have a good evening and enjoy your day or night... depending on your time zone

They danced around the
subject, tying knots of twine.
Never speaking out.

He left her once, twice.
Then three times she took him back.
Now again he comes.

Knowing she’ll be hurt.
The door opens, they merge.
All ready she waits.

Her body on edge.
Soft lips tremble because
she knows he holds her.

The power he wields
confuses; she can’t stop him.
Can you help her please?

Submissive she is.
See it in her face, her eyes.
He’s locking her in.

The hold is tighter.
Each time he pulls her deeper.
She can’t run or hide.

She’ll break away soon.
In time she’ll be strong and know,
His pleasure should not be her pain.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Good afternoon.... I thought I would bring this thread back to ask my question instead of starting a whole new thread.

I wrote a long poem... 600 + words, 77 lines...

My question is, would a poem this long be better as an audio or as written? I wrote it so I don't lose the tempo, but perhaps if it is read the reader will not get lost in the words? Do I make sense here?