Who thinks chatting sexually on Lit is cheating

[your_Daddy]

I think it is cheating if one is being sneaky (or lying) about it. I went through this. I prefer to share with my partner any online flirting or whatever.
My last pet had been 'talking' to someone for a couple of months before I caught her...I wasn't mad, but I was shocked and disappointed. I also think flirting in real life is cheating. I truly believe good relationships are built on trust and honesty.

And once you catch someone lying, how do you trust anything they say ever again?

 

[oneguy4fun]

Not much different than watching a porn and masturbating or even fantasizing. Guys do it all the time! As long as there is no emotional connection than it's not cheating. Communicaiton is important but sometimes you just need some avenues for release. I say go for it. Just don't get emotionally involved.

 

[Bandit58]

Not much different than watching a porn and masturbating or even fantasizing. Guys do it all the time! As long as there is no emotional connection than it's not cheating. Communicaiton is important but sometimes you just need some avenues for release. I say go for it. Just don't get emotionally involved.

So going by that statement, visiting a prostitute wouldn't be considered cheating then?

Not getting emotionally involved is easier said than done, especially for women who maybe are looking for the intimacy they aren't getting at home. *Yes I am speaking from experience*

 

[WaitWhatt]

Obviously if you have to hide it then it's something you shouldn't be doing.

 

[darlynd]

If he knows about it … it isn't cheating though … right?

 

[midwestyankee]

If he knows about it … it isn't cheating though … right?

Only if, in his knowledge, he agrees that it's not cheating.

 

[darlynd]

Only if, in his knowledge, he agrees that it's not cheating.

I concur.

 

[leahsgirl84]

I'm sorry if this is a repeat of what other people have said, but here are my views:

My husband surprised me by saying anything online (chatting, role playing, cycbering, etc) is not cheating. However, I feel that going behind his back is. (I'm on Lit. He's not, but he knows I am. To my knowledge though he doesn't know about my online 'chats'.) He says online playing is the same as watching porn. And yes, while some may take that as he's already going behind my back, I don't care one way or another if he is 'cheating' on me or not, as our relationship is shaky at best anyway.

But to me, it is different, because feelings and emotions are involved. Yes, I talk and play with other women online, and yes, I feel it is cheating. If I HAD to pick what is not cheating between playing online (with a continuous partner) and a one night stand, I'd say a one night stand isn't cheating (compared to the former) cause most times no emotions are involved. I'm not saying neither one is not cheating, but if I HAD to pick one over the other...

 

[switchbitch]

for me the simple way to find out if something is cheating is this: can you be open and honest about it?
If you can it is not cheating.
If you can't then obviously it is cheating because somewhere inside you you already know the answer.
And if you really can't tell either way ask your partner what they think.

 

[BongoGal]

for me the simple way to find out if something is cheating is this: can you be open and honest about it?
If you can it is not cheating.
If you can't then obviously it is cheating because somewhere inside you you already know the answer.

Exactly.

 

[Dom4uinLvNv]

Would someone define cheating please...So many different values!!
It all depends on how a person is raised..I mean, is an old school Morman cheating when he beds several wives? As well as the others he might have on the side. I think everyone hides a darkside.. Get my drift here?

 

[BluebirdDreams]

Chiming in on the side of "if he doesn't know or agree to it, it's probably cheating," and "if you asking, you probably already know the answer."

 

[naughty4Daddy]

If you develop an emotional relationship with someone outside of your marriage and without the knowledge of your husband, it is a kind of cheating. Just chatting? Eh. But if your husband thinks it's cheating, then that might be the end of your marriage.

If you two have different ideas about what is and should be exclusive to your relationship, that is a far bigger deal than whether or not chatting is cheating.

I agree. Developing an emotional relationship is definitely cheating. But on the other hand, unless you chat with a different person everyday and all the flirting never makes you think "I wish I could talk to x right now" when you're bored, it always involves emotions to a certain degree.