Who thinks chatting sexually on Lit is cheating

[Pussy4u]

Married and confused !!!

Hello ! I have read all of your replies. There are alot of different opinions.

I want to tell everyone who are secretly chatting sexually on Lit and are married that your partner will forgive you but the TRUST in the relationship will take much longer to get back.

I am leaving my pm open for someone to reply to my sent message !

Please do not send me any sexual messages. Thank you !

 

[midwestyankee]

Hello ! I have read all of your replies. There are alot of different opinions.

I want to tell everyone who are secretly chatting sexually on Lit and are married that your partner will forgive you but the TRUST in the relationship will take much longer to get back.

I am leaving my pm open for someone to reply to my message that i sent to her.

Please do not send me any sexual messages. Thank you !

It sounds like you made a tough and wise choice.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

I'm going to agree with midwestyankee. Congrats on coming to a decision that works for you.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Also, thanks to SD, and j#### for the midday comedy hour.

 

[satindesire]

Also, thanks to SD, and j#### for the midday comedy hour.

*bows*

 

[mrtomthumb]

hijack!!!

I was following this thread until it turned into a pissing match..to bad as I was really thinking about the idea in a way I may have not before.

Maybe your both a little wrong and winning a pointless argument is not all that important.

I am not taking sides but the one thing I did see was a quote about spending times with cats is not wasted time....

I hate cats.

if a cat was bigger than you he would eat you.

sorry just kidding.

maybe we can get back on topic.......please?

 

[infinity706]

So, Ms Satin gets out her troll bashing stick again.

 

[satindesire]

So, Ms Satin gets out her troll bashing stick again.

Shh. Don't encourage me, or I might morph into an arrogant, pompous, condescending bitch again.

 

[infinity706]

Shh. Don't encourage me, or I might morph into an arrogant, pompous, condescending bitch again.

Hey, don't worry about it. That guy was just jealous that he could never attract such a firey hellcat. You do have quite a temper, though.

 

[satindesire]

Hey, don't worry about it. That guy was just jealous that he could never attract such a firey hellcat. You do have quite a temper, though.

What can I say? Half my genes are red Irish.

 

[tmock]

was married...

I was married until I got caught chatting about sex and beasty on yahoo...and cricized the couinty I was working for.

 

[Claire73]

I was married until I got caught chatting about sex and beasty on yahoo...and cricized the couinty I was working for.

Yeah, women never like it if you start criticizing the county you work for....

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[ucleebo]

It is if you think it is or if your husband thinks it is. If you know you can't ask him outright, then that's because you know what his answer would be, so don't ask.
On the other hand, it certainly is a very mild form of cheating - after all, there is never any real exchange of bodily fluids. So in the final analysis, it's really up to you. How far are you willing to go?
Whatever you decide, don't ever, ever tell him. That would be laying off whatever guilt you feel on him, and that's not at all fair.

 

[mrtomthumb]

another way to look at it.....

It is not physical cheating but maybe a little mental..which is safer for all parties involved.
We are all human and I find I am constantly faced with situations of women making it clear that even though I am married they are interested...it is difficult however much you love your partner to remain faithful when faced with temptation. I have done fairly well in not crossing that last hurdle of outright sex with another.

I also find that the dynamic has seemed to have shifted in that I find (in my experience) that the women can get very assertive,,,more so then is used to be.

I find the amount of time I spend on here has to do with diverting my attention away from outside desires...

so in a small way waybe its good.

there is a massive rationalization for all (my spelling sucks)

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It is not physical cheating but maybe a little mental..which is safer for all parties involved.

Gosh, I totally disagree with that.

Being that we do occasionally shag other people, I'm fine with the physical stuff, but not so much with the intimate and emotional.

If he fucked someone else while I wasn't around, I wouldn't be pleased, but if emotionally connected to someone else, I'd be devastated.

 

[RuReal]

I agree with Lizzie from an observational standpoint since I have never swung before. I think she has it right in how I would feel about it. Emotional connections are more powerful than just putting slot a into tab b.

 

[mrtomthumb]

hmmmmmm....

Gosh, I totally disagree with that.

Being that we do occasionally shag other people, I'm fine with the physical stuff, but not so much with the intimate and emotional.

If he fucked someone else while I wasn't around, I wouldn't be pleased, but if emotionally connected to someone else, I'd be devastated.

I did not say anything about emotional connections just mental cheating which we all do in some way or another.....if you have a swinging lifestyle that is a totally different thing. if two people are in agreement about seeing others that is cool but I think you are fooling yourself to say that there could never be an emotional connection while (even with permission) with sleeping around

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I did not say anything about emotional connections just mental cheating which we all do in some way or another.....if you have a swinging lifestyle that is a totally different thing. if two people are in agreement about seeing others that is cool but I think you are fooling yourself to say that there could never be an emotional connection while (even with permission) with sleeping around

I recognise in some cases, sleeping around might form attachments. But in our case, there's not. We never see those people again, hell, I can't even remember what they looked like.

It's just sex.

But to me, 'mental' cheating is indeed emotional. I've chatted, and cybered with people before I met my partner, and I formed close emotional attachments to some of them. Yes it was all 'mental' because it wasn't physical, but I know that if I did that again now, I'd hurt him terribly. And it would hurt me if he was doing something like that. And on that, I do regard it as cheating.

 

[FurryFury]

I believe very few people can separate emotions and sex. Sad but true, in my experiences with others.

 

[Alex_Bragi]

It's one thing to define a sexual phenomenon, but it's an entirely dfferent matter to evaluate it.

Bdsm is an odd thing, I've often heard it compared to homosexuality, in fact I've done it myself. I referred to coming out of the closet when talking about gays and bdsmers alike, but it's not really the same. It's perfectly easy to be a bdsmers and fall in love with, and live with, someone who isn't.

Prior to discovering the internet, I lived completely within a vanilla world. My fantasies were something I keep hidden deep inside myself. I never shared them. I was, and still am, very happy with my life and my lover, but part of it is a lie. I have a void in my life that is filled by another man. I discovered bdsm chatrooms, oddly, rather by accident, or perhaps fate, depending on how romantic you want to be about it. And, wiithin a short time a whole new world had opened up to me.

For the first time ever I began meeting like minded people. Bondage and pain were things that titilated other people too. I discovered I wasn't as different as I thought—I wasn't a freak after all. Soon after that I met Bragi. He immediately drew my attention—he was articulate, charming, and very seductive. He used words—words like fuck and slut, whore and cunt. Words that I considered crude and rude, yet for him they were totally natural. They rolled off his keyboard and onto my screen in gorgeous seductive sentences that brought me to all new levels of excitement. The connection, the spark, between us was obvious and within months of meeting I began proudly wearing his name with mine. What we share is explosive, bdsm cyber sex. We touch with words that we ache to explore with our hands, mouths, and bodies.

So, is this sexual immorality on the internet?

Everytime I log on to a bdsm chat site I meet and chat with people in my same situation. People who are happy with their vanilla lives, but find there is something missing and so, like me, they have chosen to fill the void with a cyber relationship. What exactly determines the moral obligations we have to refrain from having and sharing certain sexual fantasies in this anyway? We don't generally require permission to satisfy ourselves sexually in our private surrounds.

I suppose the bottom line is, is it to better to conceal the truth and live part of life as a lie, or confront the truth and live part of life with a lie?

 

[satindesire]

It's not a question of what's better, generally speaking.

It's a question of what people are willing to do. I.E. What's EASIER.

It's easier to go into a chat room or go fuck some random stranger you pick up in a bar than to break up with someone that's almost perfect for you. It's easier to cheat than to go after what you really need.

It's lazy. Because in the end, you're settling for almost perfect and you're taking the easy road towards total happiness.

 

[Alex_Bragi]

Well, I'm not looking for any kind of advice, approval, or arguement about my specific situation, but rather citing it as what I perceive as a rather typical example of a growing trend on the internet.

And, please, satindesire, do call me Alex.

 

[satindesire]

Well, I'm not looking for any kind of advice, approval, or arguement about my specific situation, but rather citing it as what I perceive as a rather typical example of a growing trend on the internet.

And, please, satindesire, do call me Alex.

Perhaps you should make that more clear then, when you're asking questions that sound like genuine questions rather than rhetorical ones, Alex.

Also, I was speaking in a general "you" rather than directing my post towards YOU specifically. I'm sorry I didn't make that more obvious.