Why BDSM?

[VirginInEbony]

I have to disagree.

Of course you disagree. I wouldn't expect anything else.

 

[missofdarkness]

Yes, why BDSM? Why the need for such strictly defined roles in a sexual relationship? Especially when there is so much of that in other aspects of life and society. Or maybe that is why?

isjust a lifestyle you can love it or hate it

 

[FluteMaster]

I don't want to express myself, or my complete Adoration of the man I Love, through socially understood acts, because *for me* it isn't deep enough. Pain, pleasure, service, and devotion are the rawest and truest ways for me to crawl inside my Lover's soul, and for him to crawl inside mine. His requests that I suffer for him, is an expression of his Love for me. My agony is a mirror of that Love. If I don't return the favor, I'm stealing his opportunity to know he is equally cherished. (Oh the joys of being a hopeless romantic with a masochistic streak a mile wide... )

It's about as soul baring as I/we can get. There isn't anyplace to hide. No one can put on a smile and say "No dear I'm fine... really" when they're a blubbering mess of endorphins and agony. Better than being married, better than skydiving, better than random sex. Even if we still live in a somewhat patriarchal society that breaks stuff and kills things.

CutieMouse - Thankyou for saying so eloquently what it is that I love about BDSM, though from the other side of the coin.

There are no "strictly defined" roles, but there is in me an inbuilt desire to be the Dominant. But, I'm also a romantic and I need companionship and fun. But more than that, I also desire that honesty, and the severe proof of love that "bares the soul" as you put it.

The ideal relationship would be one where different aspects of D/s are explored, "portrayed" and enjoyed, or sometimes maybe not at all. But the bottom line would be that I choose whether or not to explore a particular facet at any point. Even if we would appear outwardly vanilla for all intents and purposes, I would still want there to be an awareness between myself and my partner that she was a submissive, and poised to serve in anyway I desire.