Why I hate bi-curious men.

[fshnassman]

I think that there are a LOT of guys who are bi-curious until the moment after they cum-that's when the guilt kicks in.

I didn't become curious about bi until 25 or start exploring m2m until 35. I had to overcome a lot of internalized homophobia, and once that was done, it was more difficult for me to find the right scenario (safe, discreet, mutual attraction, chemistry, etc) to take the dive.

I agree that there are plenty of guys who will receive a blowjob or touch another cock in a group scenario, but won't reciprocate-and that does feel pretty selfish. There are also a lot of guys (married/involved) who don't feel the freedom to really explore. I wish more people realized that bisexuality isn't just "diet gay" and that a man can enjoy both without having to identify as something he doesn't feel comfortable. That's why I like the ideas of "heteroflexible" or "bisexual, but heteroromantic." Lots of guys are attracted to cocks or man on man sex, but not to men in any sort of romantic sense.

I'm going through that wrestling match now...

 

[matt_reads_writes]

From my own point of view I would call myself bi-curious, but as with most "label's" sometimes that's all is. I am 44 and married with family, I love my wife and find her and other women attractive, but I have a curiosity about what a sexual relationship with another guy would be like. But, it doesn't mean I am going to or need to pursue that curiosity, sometimes it is absolutely fine to stay in the fantasy area.

I know full well that if I wanted to I could meet a local or even non local guy/guys to have some fun with and explore all manor of curiosities, the internet is made for that , and if I had known of my curiosities when I was in my 20's early 30's I would have push out and be bi-sexual and have experienced sexual intimacy with both men and women. If I am am honest with myself, if I was in a different relationship status I would certainly be doing that. But, that doesn't mean I automatically need to do it just because 'curious' is a bad thing and is only selfish or a step waiting to happen.

I really enjoy the gay, bi etc stories on Literotica amongst all the others, enjoy any sort of chat about it or fantasies about it, and I really enjoying watching bi and gay porn too, but just because am "curious' that does not mean that I put myself in the category of needing to fulfil it and move beyond the curious stage regardless of anything else.

So, I say you can be curious and be absolutely fine with it, just don't be one of those guys who takes it further without knowing and accepting the risks/consequences to whatever you have/are in your life right now. If can't accept the risks, don't do it for everyones sake and sanity, and don't be selfish and not offer more to the partner etc that you move beyond your curiosity with.

 

[JiminNC]

Well. Ive actually experienced that. Its a hot and submissive way to suck cock

I love that position too!

 

[SherlockianMan]

While I can fully understand where the OP is coming from, I feel like there is something not being considered. Not all bi-curious guys are just looking for random hook-ups. Like straight guys, there is a large group of us who wanted our first experience to be meaningful and with a partner we felt safe and comfortable with. That kind of relationship takes time to build to, especially so if you are already hesitant and nervous about a first experience. Some guys need time, and that's perfectly OK too.

 

[matt_reads_writes]

While I can fully understand where the OP is coming from, I feel like there is something not being considered. Not all bi-curious guys are just looking for random hook-ups. Like straight guys, there is a large group of us who wanted our first experience to be meaningful and with a partner we felt safe and comfortable with. That kind of relationship takes time to build to, especially so if you are already hesitant and nervous about a first experience. Some guys need time, and that's perfectly OK too.

You are right with this as one day I may experience another man a sexual way, it would need to be someone whom I can trust and feel safe to do it with. I know I would need to go it to in knowing I would go through with everything that was discussed and agreed, I would not want to think I would back our of anything, and that would come with trust built up I would guess. I could defiantly see myself fulfilling everything sexually with another man if it came to it, it would defiantly not be wham, bam, thank you man and then left me broken etc.

 

[Curiousforcock24]

While I can fully understand where the OP is coming from, I feel like there is something not being considered. Not all bi-curious guys are just looking for random hook-ups. Like straight guys, there is a large group of us who wanted our first experience to be meaningful and with a partner we felt safe and comfortable with. That kind of relationship takes time to build to, especially so if you are already hesitant and nervous about a first experience. Some guys need time, and that's perfectly OK too.

This describes me exactly.

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

Like many men, I used to use the sobriquet of “bi-curious.” My sexual journey has been one of awareness, admission, and finally acceptance. When I first became aware of my desires, I was confused. I wasn’t gay, but I was having thoughts and fantasies that involved men while preferring women. Even after learning of that label, I refused to use it as it implied I wasn’t as straight as I claimed, and I just couldn’t accept that. Finally, I got to the point where I admitted my feelings to myself, and began identifying as bi-curious. Over time, I began developing interests, preferences in men, and some kinks. I became comfortable with admitting what role I wanted to play with a man. I realized I had accepted my desires, and started to embrace them as part of me. But part of that acceptance was considering how I identified myself to other men. I stopped calling myself bi-curious, and began identifying myself as simply curious or gay curious. I also mention my virginal sexual status with men. I am inexperienced, but curious about gay sex or more accurately, I am interested sex with older gay men.
Calling myself bi-curious was a way of not admitting that I did have a level of homosexual interest. I also realized that it was just an arbitrary label. If I knew three men, and one was gay, another bi, and the third straight, I couldn’t tell the difference by looking at them. If I caught them having sex, I would assume all were gay. So, why bother with a label?

 

[Wanking_Frank]

Right on this site without mentioning any names there are people in the personals that have been "looking" for their first experience for over 10 years. I don't understand how you can have that itch for so long and not make it happen. That is unless they are addicted to the chase or something.

I was in that mode for a while during the time I was married but after getting separated it was less than 6 months and I was having gay sex.

There are so many threads out there encouraging the curious to overcome their fear and just suck that cock, take it up the ass, taste that cum - just stop blocking yourself from what is a natural experience and savor it. Live a little bit and stop being afraid.

 

[Curiousforcock24]

As others have said, not everyone wants the first time to be random. I finally found someone who I felt I could trust with the deepest secret I have who can also be a friend and had my first experience yesterday. It is hard to take that leap living in small town, rural America where everyone knows everyone and seems to find out everything. I will say I am no longer just curious and look forward to continuing my journey.

 

[wouldloveto]

To me bi-curious left when I had my first experience with a guy. It was many years ago at a porn shop here in town. Then I finally had my first time sucking a guy.

Now days I am still in a relationship but no sex. So all my sex is with a few guys I’ve known for a while. 1 is bi and married. 2 are gay. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time. But I wouldn’t turn the chance away, if I did. I would then be assured that, yes I am gay.

I hope that makes sense.

I think you said that well, I certainly can relate.

 

[chapter6plan]

I am no longer curious. One meeting with a connection made on SilverDaddies changed that. However, I have a wife to protect so I will be in the closet for the foreseeable future.

I dropped the bi part of bi-curious quickly. It took a bit longer to announce that I am a bottom, a cocksucker and would love to be a Tops bitch. I know now that I am a submissive bottom but I have not found the limits to my submission yet.

Likewise. I dropped the 'curious' part after my first experience. I still have to describe myself as 'bottom/versatile', but will probably drop the versatile part when I have a bit more experience.

 

[Britva415]

I still have to describe myself as 'bottom/versatile', but will probably drop the versatile part when I have a bit more experience.

"Versatile-curious?"

 

[SmokingFap]

I really, really should just stay out of this, but I just can't help myself. I think it's ridiculous to be so focused on or even offended or flat-out angry by what SOMEONE ELSE labels themselves as. If someone still considers him or herself bi-curious, how the hell does it affect you? And to start a thread about why you HATE people for how they label THEMSELVES, for whatever reason you've come up with, is completely self-important and, frankly, pathetic.

Carry on.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I really, really should just stay out of this, but I just can't help myself. I think it's ridiculous to be so focused on or even offended or flat-out angry by what SOMEONE ELSE labels themselves as. If someone still considers him or herself bi-curious, how the hell does it affect you? And to start a thread about why you HATE people for how they label THEMSELVES, for whatever reason you've come up with, is completely self-important and, frankly, pathetic.

Carry on.

I read the OP as presenting a combination of teasing, inciting and feeling frustration - not about what people call themselves. I may be wrong, in which case would gladly take it back. A glance suggests he seems to have generated some friendly chat
As a bicurious woman, I don’t feel the least bit offended
Maybe you need to take care of a bit of frustration rather than getting offended on others’ behalf lol

 

[SmokingFap]

I read the OP as presenting a combination of teasing, inciting and feeling frustration - not about what people call themselves. I may be wrong, in which case would gladly take it back. A glance suggests he seems to have generated some friendly chat
As a bicurious woman, I don’t feel the least bit offended
Maybe you need to take care of a bit of frustration rather than getting offended on others’ behalf lol

Like I said, I should have just stayed out of it. And as someone who considered myself bi-curious for quite a while, I was offended on my own behalf, thank you. You interpreted it differently, so you do you.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Like I said, I should have just stayed out of it. And as someone who considered myself bi-curious for quite a while, I was offended on my own behalf, thank you. You interpreted it differently, so you do you.

Fair enough, I mistakenly thought you were only ever straight - I apologize if I caused any offense
Still think that was a misread, think his point is to encourage exploration, not make sociopolitical commentary

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

I was in the habit of identifying as straight even though I had an affair with an older man. These little lies we say in the name of self-preservation. I remember being on all fours with a sweating man holding me by the hips .. the very moment I thought I might actually be gay

Funny you should say that. Although I have no experience with a man, I have wondered if my desires reveal my true homosexuality instead of just a curiosity.

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

Well, if you still enjoy having sex with women, you’d be bi, right?

But yeah, you’re probably not straight if you keep volunteering to have sex with men. There’s only so many times you can do it as an “experiment.”

Although I identify publicly as straight, I have accepted my homosexual desires as part of me. With no experience, I can claim curiosity, but now I am more interested in gay sex because I want gay sex, not just curiosity to “see what it’s like.”

 

[Ciceri]

Funny you should say that. Although I have no experience with a man, I have wondered if my desires reveal my true homosexuality instead of just a curiosity.

It was just a curiosity for me. I'm a slow learner. I had to be fully immersed in the lifestyle to know for sure it wasn't what I wanted

 

[chapter6plan]

"Versatile-curious?"

No ... more 'bottom-curious'. I know I can be a top (my wife let me a few times) and I know I'll suck cock. I'm pretty sure bottoming will be the position of choice, though.

 

[Britva415]

I have wondered if my desires reveal my true homosexuality instead of just a curiosity.

Do you like women?

 

[Britva415]

Still think that was a misread, think his point is to encourage exploration, not make sociopolitical commentary

I don't know about calling it sociopolitical or something else, but it was definitely closet-shaming, in which case @SmokingFap's point about "mind your own business" is totally called-for, whether he personally is closeted or not.

 

[Escierto]

No ... more 'bottom-curious'. I know I can be a top (my wife let me a few times) and I know I'll suck cock. I'm pretty sure bottoming will be the position of choice, though.

You kind of know before you have even done anything whether you want it or not. I knew that I wanted it up my ass.

 

[badonkadoku]

Curiosity satisfied. Phallosexual, but heteromantic

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

Do you like women?

I do, and prefer women. But I wonder sometimes if a pleasurable gay experience would cause me to start preferring men.