Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

[A Desert Rose]

But really folks...isn't it all about loving our bodies and accepting each other?

I've found people on the scene to be the most accepting people anywhere.

Oh Jesus... this is a scary post coming from you... anyone else, maybe... but YOU?





LMAO

 

[Kajira Callista]

Oh Jesus... this is a scary post coming from you... anyone else, maybe... but YOU?





LMAO

uncle rosco is showing his softer side today

 

[A Desert Rose]

uncle rosco is showing his softer side today

Yea well, I wish he'd get rid of that AV... that thing scares me, too.

Jesus, he does have an image to uphold, doesn't he?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yea well, I wish he'd get rid of that AV... that thing scares me, too.

Jesus, he does have an image to uphold, doesn't he?

well....yes, yes he does.

 

[kitty4ever]

I was not overweight until, after a molar pregnancy and miscarriage (4 yrs ago), my doctor declared that I had to go on the Depo shot. I gained 50 lbs in 3 months, and no matter what I did (diet, exercise, etc), I could not lose it. When I spoke to my doctor, he said it was a large weight gain, but within the normal range of being put on the shot.

Now, since I've been put on the patch (Nov '03), I've lost 30 lbs without doing anything really different.

Now, all that being said, I knew I was a sub back when I was skinny, although I was not 'active' about it. Since college, I had not been with anyone who was a Dom or a switch, and was not vocal about wanting it.

That being all said, I do think those of us in BDSM are more accepting of others. I have friends who come from all walks of life, all sort of beliefs, some of whom can't stand each other. I accept them all. Maybe we are more self confident about ourselves, unlike vanillas who see the 'wanted standard' as a skinny leggy model-type. Personality and that "Dom trait" is what I want in a man. Now, I would like him to be healthy, but would accept him anyway. I'd just be worried about his health if he was obese.

 

[Pure]

Roscoe said, "But really folks...isn't it all about loving our bodies and accepting each other?"

Unconditional love, yes; isn't it all about opening ouselves to the wondrous, all-present Force the leads us--in whatever way-- to seek our fulfillment in another's bliss?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Oh Jesus... this is a scary post coming from you... anyone else, maybe... but YOU?





LMAO

Give your irony detector a whack there, sparky.

 

[lovetoread]

I wish lovetoread would come back. Make the odds even better.

Heh, you called?

 

[Mr Blonde]

So maybe we have two theories?

1. BDSM practicioners have a hard time adjusting to normal life and develop more flaws. The obesity might be a result of societal burdens that BDSM people are forced to endure. So having BDSM interests, and having a difficult time channeling them into an outlet, might reduce self-esteem which creates symptoms such as obesity.

2. Do people come to BDSM because they already have low self-esteem? Is it a conscious safe haven where their flaws are less prominant? The BDSM scene is forgiving and there is safety in numbers. Perhaps people become overweight, are abused by society for their obesity, and in a twisted sense learn to channel the abuse to deflect the feelings of failure. They are trying to take back their pride by embracing the disfunction.

Any thoughts on which it might be?

An example: More homosexual teenagers commit suicide than straight teenagers. Does that mean that already suicidal people decide to become homosexual? Or do homosexuals endure extra burdens that drive them to suicide?

Another example: Many socially awkward people are somewhat smart but far from super bright. But once identified as weird and the teasing begins, they are known to "play up" their intelligence to excuse their awkwardness. Better to be considered a brilliant eccentric who is deliberately offbeat than to be labelled a mediocre nerd who can't do better.

So which is it for BDSM?

 

[A Desert Rose]

So maybe we have two theories?

1. BDSM practicioners have a hard time adjusting to normal life and develop more flaws. The obesity might be a result of societal burdens that BDSM people are forced to endure. So having BDSM interests, and having a difficult time channeling them into an outlet, might reduce self-esteem which creates symptoms such as obesity.

I don't buy into this theory. Mainly because I think that kink is more acceptable now than it has ever been. Furthermore, I don't think that people who are involved in BDSM have any more or less trouble dealing with normal life.

Obesity is often times a symptom of other, deeper psychological issues, but kink is not one of them, in my opinion. I think you have to seperate those 2 topics for this to make sense for me.

Is kink a symptom of deeper psychological problems or is it just a sexual preference? I think for most people, it's a sexual preference. I wouldn't dream of spanking a man... I have absolutely no desire to do so. But boy oh boy, do I love to be spanked. Those just happen to be some of my sexual preferences. But it's even more than just a preference for me, it's how I'm wired inside, mentally.

And I am not obese.

2. Do people come to BDSM because they already have low self-esteem? Is it a conscious safe haven where their flaws are less prominant? The BDSM scene is forgiving and there is safety in numbers. Perhaps people become overweight, are abused by society for their obesity, and in a twisted sense learn to channel the abuse to deflect the feelings of failure. They are trying to take back their pride by embracing the disfunction.

I think some people have self-esteem issues. And some of those people happen to be part of the BDSM community. Some of them are also monks living in caves. Low self-esteem crosses all areas of humankind. Do you feel you have met an inordinant amount of BDSM practioners who have low self-esteem? More so than in any other area of your life? For me the answer is no.

Any thoughts on which it might be?

I need more options than those 2, Sir. Neither of them work for me. ;-D

An example: More homosexual teenagers commit suicide than straight teenagers. Does that mean that already suicidal people decide to become homosexual? Or do homosexuals endure extra burdens that drive them to suicide?

I go with option B. No one DECIDES to be homosexual, any more than we decide we are going to be diabetic. Being homosexual or heterosexual is not a conscious decision that we make. Again, it's how we are wired from conception. It's a genetic thing.

Another example: Many socially awkward people are somewhat smart but far from super bright. But once identified as weird and the teasing begins, they are known to "play up" their intelligence to excuse their awkwardness. Better to be considered a brilliant eccentric who is deliberately offbeat than to be labelled a mediocre nerd who can't do better.

I have known people like this.

 

[MechaBlade]

2. Do people come to BDSM because they already have low self-esteem? Is it a conscious safe haven where their flaws are less prominant? The BDSM scene is forgiving and there is safety in numbers. Perhaps people become overweight, are abused by society for their obesity, and in a twisted sense learn to channel the abuse to deflect the feelings of failure. They are trying to take back their pride by embracing the disfunction.

I hate to say this, but I think 2 is right. I believe my social interactions growing up lead me to BDSM.

 

[sexymom]

Although the premise that there are more overweight people in bdsm is an unproven theory, not a fact, it is still interesting to speculate about. There is equal validity to the question when it applies to doms, although no one has discussed that here. If you attend a major bdsm event, you will probably see what i am talking about.

Anyway, i've been thinking about the various theories- not just from this thread, i've heard them before- and i developed my own theory. Most of the people we run into in the bdsm world have suffered at least one failed relationship (of course, that also applies to the general public), and they are a little older than the average of the entire adult population. In many cases, these failed relationships developed problems because of one partner's newly-discovered interest in bdsm. I also think there is some validity to the idea that bdsm people expect more of relationships than the vanillas do. As a result, the people we run into here tend to have more experience with unsuccessful, sad relationships, and those are the people who are more likely to overeat.

How's that- i came up with a premise to support a theory that i don't even believe in!

 

[WriterDom]

Heh, you called?

Did you pick that av just to torture me?

 

[A Desert Rose]

I can only speak from a submissive female point of view and of course, my own from what I have seen and read.

There have been many submissive females who have posted here regarding past emotional and sexual trauma. I think this has more to do with why they have a poor self-image (which, keeping in step with this thread, translates into obesity) than anything else.

And to be clear, I don't think that all women who have suffered past emotional and/or sexual trauma become submissive. Nor do I think that all submissives have experienced this. (I am a case in point, having never been violated or abused.)



And as an aside... both of my previous Doms were quite fit ... being in the service, they had to be.

 

[bridgeburner]

I'll toss out some observations and another theory.

Strictly as far as Literotica goes, there appear to be a large number of people into BDsM who also suffer from depressive and other mood disorders.

One of the manifestations of these mood disorders, particularly depression is weight gain and other food issues ---- and the reasons are not all psychological. It's not all about comforting one's self with food or being too depressed to get out of bed and burn a calorie. Some of this is chemical.

Say hello to Serotonin - the effects of which can be mimicked by carbohydrate consumption. Chocolate makes you feel like you're in love? Pasta makes you feel less inclined to slit your wrists.....at least until you take a look at your ass later on.

There is a high incidence of mood disorders and depressive personalities among artists and performers as well but because of the public nature of their vocations the less physically ideal specimens get weeded out by the public eye.

Nobody is practicing BDsM for the viewing pleasure of the general public. Skill is more important than what you look like performing that skill. If you also look good doing it you have an advantage, but as has been pointed out time and again: most folks aren't all that kinky. If you're seriously into your kink the field of players is much smaller than if all you want is somebody attractive to bump uglies with.


-B

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'll toss out some observations and another theory...

-B

You make excellent points. And lots to think about.

 

[FungiUg]

My theory is that the BDSM community is more accepting and welcoming of all diversities in what society dictates is acceptable.

We in the BDSM community are generally more interested in the dominating skills or submissives realities than W/we are in girth.

That's a cool theory! Sadly, I'm too cynical to believe it myself. (But I did want to say I like the way you think. For an evil Domme, you're rather an angel!)

My own theory revolves around several factors.

1. the general prevalence of obesity in our modern societies
2. the sense and mind focus of BDSM practitioners (so it's not surprising they are also foodies)
3. weight control requires self discipline -- that's hard, even for we super-human Dom/mes
4. there is a link between depression and weight; similarly, there is a link between depression and BDSM practitioners (sorry, can't quote the study on the latter, but I remember reading it about a year ago.) Someone else has mentioned the Seratonin and Endorphin link already.

Here's a fifth one I want to add as well:
5. we are very sexually focussed (as a rule), and tend to use much of our free time in that area, rather than out jogging or playing sport

So throw all of those into the ring, let 'em duke it out for a while (sorry, should I have used a blender metaphor instead?), and is it any surprise we end up with a tendency towards overweight people in BDSM?

 

[FungiUg]

Say hello to Serotonin

Quite. Although it's the Endorphin high that we are addicted to. Seratonin (Ceratonin? What IS the correct spelling for that?) is to Endorphins what Insulin is to Sugar. When the Seratonin kicks in, that's when we hit our depressive states.

 

[jacktripper]

Child sexual abuse correlates with weight issues later.

 

[Kajira Callista]

This is kinda interesting

http://dailynews.att.net/cgi-bin/ne...tpage&st=frontpageobesity_poll_040530&src=abc

there is a link to the actual poll at the bottom

 

[sexymom]

Interesting link. The obesity epidemic has been studied extensively, and we know the causes, as well as we know the causes of lung cancer and emphysema. At the same time we are in denial.

It isn't because we are "big boned"
It isn't because our metabolism is becoming more efficient in processing food
It isn't because we are dominant, or submissive
It isn't because we were abused as children
It isn't because we have low self-esteem

Yes, there are obese people with all these characteristics. There are smokers with low self esteem too, or smokers who were abused as children, but these factors don't cause lung cancer.

The three primary causes of obesity are:

1: fast food
2: larger portion sizes
3: lack of exercise

We have known this for some time now, but we can't bring ourselves to act on it- we just keep looking for more explanations that are convenient.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I think its a little bit more then that. I'm a lil round italian chick....why am i? Because that culture thinks fat lil babies and children are the cutest thing... and all the better if the little girls grow up to be round and cute. So its not just what we eat it is how we are raised and how we raise our children. A little tiny bit of education on a parents part is all it takes to prevent a child from heading down a bad road.....healthwise and emotionally.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

as someone who enjoys women of all sizes. i have to say we in the bdsm world are more open to people. and yes kajira it all depends on how you are raised its not just italians that believe fat babies are cute but the polish as well. i heard my aunt tell me all the time i needed to add a few pounds to be healthy.

 

[Desdemona]

Interesting link. The obesity epidemic has been studied extensively, and we know the causes, as well as we know the causes of lung cancer and emphysema. At the same time we are in denial.

It isn't because we are "big boned"
It isn't because our metabolism is becoming more efficient in processing food
It isn't because we are dominant, or submissive
It isn't because we were abused as children
It isn't because we have low self-esteem

Yes, there are obese people with all these characteristics. There are smokers with low self esteem too, or smokers who were abused as children, but these factors don't cause lung cancer.

The three primary causes of obesity are:

1: fast food
2: larger portion sizes
3: lack of exercise

We have known this for some time now, but we can't bring ourselves to act on it- we just keep looking for more explanations that are convenient.

Sorry, I don't buy this. It oversimplifies the issue. Certainly your 3 causes are contributers, but that's not the whole picture. If it were, the NIH would not have classififed obesity as a disease and insurance companies would not be paying for weight loss surgeries. There are genetic, societal, psychological, and neuro-hormonal factors (such as serotonin) that contribute far more to the root causes of obesity. And let's not forget the theory that there is a primitive survival mechanism in some people that gets triggered by dieting and causes the body to slow down the metabolic rate and resist losing fat.
These are the things that allow fast food, larger portion sizes and lack of exercise to contribute to obesity.
Whether obesity is more or less prevalent among the kinky, I have no clue.

 

[bridgeburner]

You hear "lack of willpower" all the time. "Fat people are just lazy gluttons with no moral fiber." Fat as character flaw. It's bullshit, but that's the prevailing mindset among both thin and fat. It's part of the reason fat people are treated so disdainfully. All of this boot-camp mentality that if you humiliate people and bully them enough they'll grow a backbone and learn to be thin people.

Now, try applying this mindset to those who regularly perform feats of extreme discipline and willpower though BDsM. Doesn't quite fit, does it?

It's a complex problem with hundreds of causes and reasons. The solution to the symptom is easy: burn more calories than you consume. Curing the root cause is as far away from us as it's ever been.

For any of you trying to beat fat: Fight the good fight friends and don't let the bastids get you down.



-B