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Good adviceDon't do the above. That's using your illicitly gained knowledge to manipulate her.
Either resign yourself to keeping the secret forever that you read her stuff, or, be prepared to get honest about it as part of any such conversation about any unspoken desires you want to ask her about having.
Also, consider not making it about you, if you do ever bring it up.
Personally, I would just wait till she got home and tell her you did some housecleaning while she was gone and came across the box with letters in it. You could put the box of letters on the table when you’re talking to her and nicely ask her if she could help you understand what the letters were about and expressed to her that you were not judging her but you are curious why she never brought this up since you’re both in the marriage and have no secrets from each other about your past. If she gets defensive about privacy, remind her that the letters were never locked away. They were just sitting in a box and also remind her that you two were not supposed to have secrets, and she still is insisting that she violated her privacy. I would start to wonder if there is still something going on and maybe she does not want you to find out.My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
It depends on what you want your marriage to be? If you want to continue a vanilla marriage, then forget about the letters and get on with life. On the other hand, if you want to add kink to your marriage, don't tell her you know about the letters, and show interest in broadening your sexual experiences within the marriage. From the letters, you know she has had interest in kink in the past, so, discuss *your* fantasies with her, and see if she is still interested in kink.My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
So what? It’s her body, she chooses.They used her body to produce a baby
I know. I'm happy for herSo what? It’s her body, she chooses.
The term “ used her” didn’t sound like thatI know. I'm happy for her
Well, it's not like she cheated on you. But you did ask a lot of good questions. Here is some you didn't ask: Did she regret doing this? Was this something she did when she was just beginning to explore her sexuality? Would she do it again? If the answer to the last question is no thne you have to get over it.My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
She conceived and carried the fetus to term. I chose 'used' but didn't mean anything negative
You had no relationship thenIf it was Her that found your letters, what would you want her to do?
Honesty is the best policy especially in an open relationship.
This sissy's opinion.
As it happens, this couple had a lot going on and did have a much needed talk on another matter which seems to have broken them up for the time being. I'm not sure this will ever get addressed.It might open the door for a much needed talk
All in the past? For all you know they are your next-door neighbours or live in the same town. Vanilla? It might still be going on. But lots of people lead double lives. Jesus, just look at this forum. You are leading one on this forum too, Ciceri, just being here. Or do you nonchalantly remark to colleagues and friends that yesterday you posted your opinion here on whips and strap-ons and golden showers and the like? Ciceri. Not your real name, I take it. Mine is not Spunkylady either.My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
Me personally, I believe in communication. I would let her know I found a box of letters while cleaning. While I wouldn’t have snooped and read them, since you did I would be honest about it.My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
Going back and reading the letters, “discovering” stuff about maybe her being a surrogate, and all the letters were from the other wife…… that’s what made me sus.After some of the comments and reading it again, it really does.