WilliamButlerYeats (The other)

[Epmd607]

of course it's easy. i ran a site where contemporary poets were showcased, silly. the fact i choose not to post in response to that is down to not getting involved in what i regard as puerile, juvenile, misguided and, frankly, embarrassing behaviour coming from people i respected as writers.

WBY (the other)? if someone bumped his poems, i would have seen them. but if you meant the original Yeats, then you would be quite wrong. of course i have read Yeats. i first read Yeats almost 40 years ago, in school.

We've talked about this before. I ran an online poetry magazine too, showcasing the best prose poets in America. err, the winners of various academic publishing awards, anyway.

 

[Epmd607]

I bear on my body the marks of...
by bflagsst©

Your breasts overwhelm my palms,
but not for their breadth,
it's your nipples that remind me of crucifixion,
and the suffering felt by stigmatics,
who've yet to leave their mark

The wounds are fresh on me
and days after,
with the perfumed odor you've left,
and religious orders I've formed
around you and your scent


^^^
This meets my criteria of everything that a poem should be, and it happens to be prose poetry. But it is mellifluous and not just a hack story. A tender crucifixion isn't easy.

 

[Epmd607]

I bear on my body the marks of...
by bflagsst©

Your breasts overwhelm my palms,
but not for their breadth,
it's your nipples that remind me of crucifixion,
and the suffering felt by stigmatics,
who've yet to leave their mark

The wounds are fresh on me
and days after,
with the perfumed odor you've left,
and religious orders I've formed
around you and your scent


^^^
This meets my criteria of everything that a poem should be, and it happens to be prose poetry. But it is mellifluous and not just a hack story. A tender crucifixion isn't easy.

When we pare and our naked petals
soften each—these celibate buds,
and the idlesse of our somber winter
soon suspires,

Who but Idun divides these mouths around us?
'Til we audibly sigh, 'til your own words
have ceased to mollify—this love that lies
on your cheek for its pillow;

Who has proclaimed louder, than the flower
broken through the blacktop—or the branch
fractured from your mother's table?

And when among our prink neighbors
you've taken your seat, I've often wondered
if they can feel the heat, emanating...
Do they care?

When you're at fingertips away, still
winter embittered.

 

[bogusagain]

I bear on my body the marks of...
by bflagsst©

Your breasts overwhelm my palms,
but not for their breadth,
it's your nipples that remind me of crucifixion,
and the suffering felt by stigmatics,
who've yet to leave their mark

The wounds are fresh on me
and days after,
with the perfumed odor you've left,
and religious orders I've formed
around you and your scent


^^^
This meets my criteria of everything that a poem should be, and it happens to be prose poetry. But it is mellifluous and not just a hack story. A tender crucifixion isn't easy.

Think about what he wrote, it makes no sense and doesn't work on a metaphysical or a surreal level. She has huge tits and has nipples like nails but wait.....and the suffering felt by stigmatics, has Jesus Christ written this? Think about it, if you sleep walk through this poem, no problem but if you think about it, it's laughable.

Actually Empd I used to write poems like this before I decided you could disappear up your own ass with them. An English school teacher used to teach her 14 year old pupils how to write like this and they used to win national poetry prizes and it was in the news and in all the tabloids but it really came down to the point, you could teach children to write REAL poetry so one has to question how children with no life experience can write REAL poetry. Could it be its more to do with craft like woodwork, rather than searching through ones psyche to dig up real art like Picasso?

The point is Empd, if bflagsst was that good, he would be more ambitious, yet he just settles for simple craft that is taught in high schools.


Nothing wrong with hack stories, people other than tight assed poetry students can identify with them.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There's more posturing in here than a parade of peacocks

 

[butters]

I bear on my body the marks of...
by bflagsst©

Your breasts overwhelm my palms,
but not for their breadth,
it's your nipples that remind me of crucifixion,
and the suffering felt by stigmatics,
who've yet to leave their mark

The wounds are fresh on me
and days after,
with the perfumed odor you've left,
and religious orders I've formed
around you and your scent


^^^
This meets my criteria of everything that a poem should be, and it happens to be prose poetry. But it is mellifluous and not just a hack story. A tender crucifixion isn't easy.

you have no issues with how the punctuation makes this read???

clearly we have different opinions on that. i'm not averse to the odd comma cropping up mid-line, and no period, even capitals i am not fazed about - but the plethora of commas used here, combined with line-breaks, stilts the read, makes an oddness that isn't working for the write. in otherwords, i find it used with a heavy hand.

and then we have the ambiguity about L4 &5: i get the 'remind me of crucifixion and the suffering of stigmatics' (no comma), but what, exactly, is meant by 'yet to leave their mark'? the marks are to be left by crucifixion and stigmatics? how can stigmatics leave their mark?

i'd also question the punctuation in part 2, while enjoying the moodiness of the wording. this reads as unrefined which damages it in my opinion.


and yes, we have spoken of our mutual editorial roles; another reason why i refuse to play childish games.

 

[butters]

There's more posturing in here than a parade of peacocks

strutting their stuff and fanning their pretty feathers - but isn't that a display intended to attract the hens?


t'ain't workin'.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

strutting their stuff and fanning their pretty feathers - but isn't that a display intended to attract the hens?


t'ain't workin'.

If you've ever noticed the hens just carry on doing their own thing (usually more productive) and leave them to get on with it!

 

[butters]

If you've ever noticed the hens just carry on doing their own thing (usually more productive) and leave them to get on with it!

hush, wuman, the men are taking



how was your awaytime, annie?

 

[twelveoone]

strutting their stuff and fanning their pretty feathers - but isn't that a display intended to attract the hens?


t'ain't workin'.

Hey, pay attention to me
before I get the feathers
and the tar.

 

[butters]

Hey, pay attention to me
before I get the feathers
and the tar.

you gonna do a fan-dance for us?

*pays attention*


psst, annie, get the popcorn - he's gonna strip!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

hush, wuman, the men are taking



how was your awaytime, annie?

taking the what? the pee ...... hen?! lol sorreeeeeeee terrible pun
My away time was great thankyou and the weather was glorious

you gonna do a fan-dance for us?

*pays attention*


psst, annie, get the popcorn - he's gonna strip!

forget the tar I'll get the wax strips rippppppppppppppp aghhhh I enjoyed that

 

[bogusagain]

This meets my criteria of everything that a poem should be, and it happens to be prose poetry. But it is mellifluous and not just a hack story. A tender crucifixion isn't easy.

I have to admit my previous post was a reaction to your accusation of hack poetry, not that I have anything against hack poetry, it has its place. However, what I was serious about, and this I really mean, seriously mean, bflagsst's lack of ambition is his Achillies heel and I mean seriously, his Achilles heel. If bflagsst was serious about poetry he wouldn't be satisfied with the 'middle of the road', he would be willing to fall flat on his face, he would be willing to fail and be laughed at. There has never been a great artist that has played safe and accepted just being 'good'. There are a lot of good poets, like there are a lot of good anything and just being good, doesn't give anyone the right to claim being better than someone else. It just shows a timidity of the mediocre. What bflagsst has achieved, has been achieved by many other poets and you say as much yourself in your justifications of bflagsst. When I see him taking chances, when I see him inviting mockery, I'll start to admire him.

To paraphrase Neil Young, with Heart Of Gold I found myself in the middle of the road and so I headed for the ditch. That is creativity.

 

[bogusagain]

@Empd. I'm never really sure if 1201 is being serious or taking the piss, whether he is being provocative to get a response or just trying to seduce those that know less than him and he knows a damn sight more than me. But what you can say, he is rarely middle of the road and never boring. He could be selling me and everyone else a pig in a poke but do I care? No, because he stimulating and makes me question what he is doing and what I'm thinking. In a word or maybe a in a couple of words, he stimulates me and makes me question what poetry is.

 

[Epmd607]

you have no issues with how the punctuation makes this read???

clearly we have different opinions on that. i'm not averse to the odd comma cropping up mid-line, and no period, even capitals i am not fazed about - but the plethora of commas used here, combined with line-breaks, stilts the read, makes an oddness that isn't working for the write. in otherwords, i find it used with a heavy hand.

and then we have the ambiguity about L4 &5: i get the 'remind me of crucifixion and the suffering of stigmatics' (no comma), but what, exactly, is meant by 'yet to leave their mark'? the marks are to be left by crucifixion and stigmatics? how can stigmatics leave their mark?

i'd also question the punctuation in part 2, while enjoying the moodiness of the wording. this reads as unrefined which damages it in my opinion.


and yes, we have spoken of our mutual editorial roles; another reason why i refuse to play childish games.

This one I copied from a different place, on his submissions page I think there's one with more line breaks.

It's the most skilled use of Irony I've seen. The suffering felt by stigmatics, folks with messianic complexes aka poets, who've yet to leave their mark on the world. There is humility from the poet in this poem and empathy with other artists who practice their craft day in and day out and receive no recognition. And it's the muse that pushes the suffering and empathetic feeling toward other creators, or little messiahs.

 

[Epmd607]

This one I copied from a different place, on his submissions page I think there's one with more line breaks.

It's the most skilled use of Irony I've seen. The suffering felt by stigmatics, folks with messianic complexes aka poets, who've yet to leave their mark on the world. There is humility from the poet in this poem and empathy with other artists who practice their craft day in and day out and receive no recognition. And it's the muse that pushes the suffering and empathetic feeling toward other creators, or little messiahs.

This one's a fitting companion for all the little messiahs out here. If you don't understand irony, then I guess I am on a different planet in terms of what I consider good poetry. Most of this guys poems are laughing at that "forced" messianic feeling artists like to take on to be creative, short of trying to contract tuberculosis, bflag is laughing at himself, young woerther, me and you. Excellent product.

On Principle Alone
bybflagsst©

I reconstruct your animal
from the fossil bed,
your thorny thistle crown
led me to your Calvary,
and the treasured substratum
where you've kept well.

I reconstruct your animal
larger than myself,
having carried your bones
to your semi-divinity,
having taken of your body
on principle alone.

 

[bflagsst]

This one's a fitting companion for all the little messiahs out here. If you don't understand irony, then I guess I am on a different planet in terms of what I consider good poetry. Most of this guys poems are laughing at that "forced" messianic feeling artists like to take on to be creative, short of trying to contract tuberculosis, bflag is laughing at himself, young woerther, me and you. Excellent product.

On Principle Alone
bybflagsst©

I reconstruct your animal
from the fossil bed,
your thorny thistle crown
led me to your Calvary,
and the treasured substratum
where you've kept well.

I reconstruct your animal
larger than myself,
having carried your bones
to your semi-divinity,
having taken of your body
on principle alone.

Thanks. Anyway, if you're reading mine, might as well start with the first on the page.

A Quiet, Uneventful Life
bybflagsst©

Some spend their evenings
in supreme fiction, Madame,
composing paradelles
to and from the office,
like tawdry cisterns
pandering for heaven(s),
the go-betweens
for low-toned, pale,
insurance men.

 

[twelveoone]

Thanks. Anyway, if you're reading mine, might as well start with the first on the page.

A Quiet, Uneventful Life
bybflagsst©

Some spend their evenings
in supreme fiction, Madame,
composing paradelles
to and from the office,
like tawdry cisterns
pandering for heaven(s),
the go-betweens
for low-toned, pale,
insurance men.

why the (s)
in heaven(s)?
the Madame?
both look more like affectations, than being used for an effective reason

 

[bogusagain]

This one's a fitting companion for all the little messiahs out here. If you don't understand irony, then I guess I am on a different planet in terms of what I consider good poetry. Most of this guys poems are laughing at that "forced" messianic feeling artists like to take on to be creative, short of trying to contract tuberculosis, bflag is laughing at himself, young woerther, me and you. Excellent product.

No he isn't, he is being smug but his mediocrity has nothing to be smug about. If he was better than the hacks he, you and WBY (all the same person?) scoff at, he wouldn't feel the need to be smug, he wouldn't feel the need to feel superior, he wouldn't feel the need to put other people down, he wouldn't feel the need to laugh at anyone, he would probably display a generosity because he would be comfortable with his own talent and work but then, maybe is just a pigmy wanting to be a giant.

Only little people who are insecure about themselves and their own work attack or use other people (or is it their other personalities) to attack other people's work by proxy. Pulling apart other people's views on poetry doesn;'t make bflagsst's work any better. His vignettes are competent and polite and I have shelves full of books of a similar work on my shelves that I rarely read because once you've read one you've read them all.

 

[twelveoone]

It's the most skilled use of Irony I've seen. The suffering felt by stigmatics, folks with messianic complexes aka poets, who've yet to leave their mark on the world. There is humility from the poet in this poem and empathy with other artists who practice their craft day in and day out and receive no recognition. And it's the muse that pushes the suffering and empathetic feeling toward other creators, or little messiahs.

this explains something about his reaction to my recommendation of fridayam's poem.
thanks

and I would avoid reading Plath.

 

[twelveoone]

@Empd. I'm never really sure if 1201 is being serious or taking the piss, whether he is being provocative to get a response or just trying to seduce those that know less than him and he knows a damn sight more than me. But what you can say, he is rarely middle of the road and never boring. He could be selling me and everyone else a pig in a poke but do I care? No, because he stimulating and makes me question what he is doing and what I'm thinking. In a word or maybe a in a couple of words, he stimulates me and makes me question what poetry is.

correction; knows different stuff,
as far as trying to seduce...not my game, last part is true, I want my audience wide awake anything that remotely resembles hypnosis, I put a "kill switch" in.
As for the first, why does it have to be either/or; i.e. binary, you know like iamb's

 

[bogusagain]

correction; knows different stuff,
as far as trying to seduce...not my game, last part is true, I want my audience wide awake anything that remotely resembles hypnosis, I put a "kill switch" in.
As for the first, why does it have to be either/or; i.e. binary, you know like iamb's

A pertinent point. I'm all for seriously taking the piss or taking the piss seriously.

 

[butters]

it's what makes different writers so interesting for a reader - this knowing of the different stuff *nods*

 

[butters]

correction; knows different stuff,
as far as trying to seduce...not my game, last part is true, I want my audience wide awake anything that remotely resembles hypnosis, I put a "kill switch" in.
As for the first, why does it have to be either/or; i.e. binary, you know like iamb's

yeah, sorry about that. i fell asleep at the pc for three quarters of an hour

still tired tonight, so no in-depths from me, but tomorrow's my day off. i hope to get more done then

 

[twelveoone]

yeah, sorry about that. i fell asleep at the pc for three quarters of an hour

still tired tonight, so no in-depths from me, but tomorrow's my day off. i hope to get more done then

What? wasn't referring to specifics, in general. I'm amazed at some of your comments, agree with half of them, hey, I wrong about half the time. 1/4 of the time we see the same thing on stuff that is poetry, probably most of the better stuff, it maybe more.