Women— is the mainstream media depiction of “Size Queens” accurate?

[policywank]

The thing is, if you only go with 8 inch plus guys, you've eliminated 90% of the population. Surely, it's better to get plenty of average size dick than a giant one once in a blue moon.

Preferring a bigger one doesn't have to mean refusing the others. And a sexually active woman generally isn't rolling the dice with a new man every time she has sex. She will go back to regular lovers with whom she is the most compatible. There are many factors that go into being compatible. Whether cock size is high on the list or lower down for most of us it is probably not the deciding factor but it is at least nominally relevant.

 

[whenagain]

Preferring a bigger one doesn't have to mean refusing the others. And a sexually active woman generally isn't rolling the dice with a new man every time she has sex. She will go back to regular lovers with whom she is the most compatible. There are many factors that go into being compatible. Whether cock size is high on the list or lower down for most of us it is probably not the deciding factor but it is at least nominally relevant.

Right, people prioritize different things. I was with a poly woman so described herself as a size queen for a while, but because she liked my company/I had other skills she still made time for me.

That said, @policywank is very diplomatic about this stuff but I’m frequently curious as to just -how- important it is to her specifically.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

Weirdly, there's a surprisingly large number of men here on Lit who seem obsessed with casting their wives as Big Dick Champions with posts like, "My wife want's to experience a guy with a huge cock, how do I make it happen?" And of course, it's later followed up with posts like, "It finally happened - she had her fist huge-cock experience and she loved it! She's now a certified Size Queen!" ...Yeah, right.

My cock is 11" long and 8" thick, so I think that I can speak with authority when I say that about 50% women of the 100s of women I've fucked were "Size Queens".

Well, as with much of what's posted, there is a great chance that all such stories are exaggerated or fabricated. While I usually don’t engage in posting fantasy, I usually don't mind reading it.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I have never known a woman who cared about dick size as much as men do. Ever.

Having grown up watching big dick porn, I actually thought I was pretty small and, for a time, I obsessed about it. As a guy who's decidedly just average (5.5" long and 5" around) that's nice to hear. Although, my wife has never once mentioned or showed 'disappointment' with my rather average cock size. And for a long time I thought she might just be being kind.

 

[policywank]

Right, people prioritize different things. I was with a poly woman so described herself as a size queen for a while, but because she liked my company/I had other skills she still made time for me.

That said, @policywank is very diplomatic about this stuff but I’m frequently curious as to just -how- important it is to her specifically.

I am not sure how to answer that. I think that it is very contextual. But for this purpose I will assume that we are talking about someone with whom I have sexual relations so sexual attraction and compatibility of some kind is a necessity. It may be more cerebral or emotional than it is physical, but if there is no sexual attraction there will be no sex. And on that front a big cock alone is not enough to make a man sexual attractive and the absence of a big cock does not preclude him from being attractive.

There are so many things that go into making a man sexy that aren't physical. A sense of humour, a kind heart, a sharp intellect, shared interests, etc. And I think that I would rate most of those things as more important than penis size. But some degree of physical appeal is still a prerequisite. You don't have to be a stud or have a big dick, but there needs to be something there. And a guy who is a fine physical specimen with a big dick can probably get away with being somewhat less interesting or engaging than other men - as long as he isn't a jerk or devoid of a sense of humour.

Now when it comes to the physical experience the key consideration with a smaller penis is the guy's attitude and perspective. If he is under 5" he is going to struggle to give me the penetrative sexual experience I want. It isn't impossible, but it isn't very likely either. If he is tuned into that reality and is great with his tongue and fingers and all the other physical aspects of sex then I will make time for him. But if he is someone who needs to believe that size doesn't matter ever and isn't tuned into his reality when it comes to PIV sex then chances are we won't get it on.

Meanwhile even though I will make time for that smaller guy if the other factors - physical and otherwise - are good, there will still be times that I want a bigger man. The guy with 5" may be the world's foremost cunnilinguist, but there will still be times that I want a big cock and his tongue is no substitute. But it must be said that the opposite can be equally true. There are times that I want that talented tongue more than I want the big dick. However, I can teach a guy with a big dick to lick my pussy the way I want. I can't teach a good pussy licker to have a big dick.

I don't know if any of that helps. The fact that I have multiple partners means I don't have to rate penis size in any one guy as a high priority because I can always go get it somewhere else. If that weren't the case I would say any guy less than 6" would need to come with some extraordinary other characteristics for me to regard him as a strong sexual partner (though he might still be a good life partner) and 8"-9" and thick is ideal.

 

[SouthByWest]

and 8"-9" and thick is ideal.

So would it be fair to say that, all else being equal (though of course it never is), significantly bigger than average gives you something special that you would not want to do without? I think this is what people are really asking: not that a big dick by itself is what you or any woman is looking for, but rather that when all the other boxes are checked, it enhances the experience in a significant way, and which you sometimes really, really crave, and for which there really is no substitute.

 

[LMWM321]

The thing is, if you only go with 8 inch plus guys, you've eliminated 90% of the population. Surely, it's better to get plenty of average size dick than a giant one once in a blue moon.

90% of the population? Try 99.6%. The aggregated studies from around the world indicate that the true prevalence of an 8" dick is wayyyy less than one in 100, in fact it's closer to just 1/1000. And it's even rarer if you're looking for guys who are ALSO very thick, because long length does not guarantee thick girth. To wit: there are short, fat dicks and long, skinny ones.

Now, if a woman hangs out where porn stars or male strippers congregate, she'll encounter them more frequently. But even then, I don't think there's a lot of accurate measuring going on. "Hold on, before you stick that in me, I want to get my ruler."

 

[policywank]

So would it be fair to say that, all else being equal (though of course it never is), significantly bigger than average gives you something special that you would not want to do without? I think this is what people are really asking: not that a big dick by itself is what you or any woman is looking for, but rather that when all the other boxes are checked, it enhances the experience in a significant way, and which you sometimes really, really crave, and for which there really is no substitute.

It seems to me that "all else being equal" is really the only test that provides an objective answer. So often we hear things like I'd rather a talented lover with an average cock to a selfish lover with a big cock. But that is like saying I'd rather a properly cooked piece of fish to a burned steak - it is irrelevant to the question of whether one prefers steak or fish.

So yes all else being equal I prefer a big cock. And yes when that is what I crave there is no substitute. But I do also put it in the category of you can't always have what you want. And there are many other characteristics that I would not want to sacrifice just to get a big cock. But back to the all other things being equal premise, I will choose 8"-9" given the opportunity.

 

[ClockworkFox]

Of course it is. The only women who say "Oh, I don't care how big it is, as long as he knows how to wield it" are those who haven't had the hugeness, and the only men who say "Oh, it doesn't matter how big it is, as long as you know how to wield it" have small-to-average cocks. And men who are big and know how to wield it, well, we're in a different league.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Mainstream media? You gotta be kidding me. I haven't seen articles about size queens in The NY Times lately.

 

[LMWM321]

Of course it is. The only women who say "Oh, I don't care how big it is, as long as he knows how to wield it" are those who haven't had the hugeness, and the only men who say "Oh, it doesn't matter how big it is, as long as you know how to wield it" have small-to-average cocks. And men who are big and know how to wield it, well, we're in a different league.

Again.. Bullshit. My wife has had my "hugeness" for years and will tell you it's more of a problem than an advantage; as would any of my past girlfriends. And her OBGYN has other patients who complain that their partners large penis is a problem. And they are not all menopausal.

And as the owner of the aforementioned huge penis I can assure you I know how to "wield" it (ugh, what a stupid term). I'm a fit, and attractive guy who women seem to find appealing because in all of my relationships I have had frequent sex that was equally initiated by my partner. So yes, the evidence suggests I know how to be an exciting and attentive lover. ..But my dick being "huge" never made the sex better. On the contrary, it frustrated my partners desire to give me head or take me anally (not every woman's bag, I realize). ..And PIV can be uncomfortable because of accidentally bumping her cervix. My wife recalls enjoying past lovers testicles pressing into her vulva - crudely referred to as "going balls deep" - but that can't happen with me because I jab into her cervix first. Do you really think most women dig that?

Again... When women buy dildos, they overwhelmingly buy ones that are average in size. ..And when women are surveyed about their sexual fantasies, "Guy with a huge dick!!" never gets mentioned. So, tell me how this squared with your belief that most women crave huge dicks?

 

[LMWM321]

No the media depiction of size queens is not accurate.

I'm still waiting for someone to point to ANY media depiction of Size Queens outside of Porn and maybe rap music.

Tell me, in what mainstream movies or TV shows are we presented with a female character who makes "huge dick" a priority as she seeks out a relationship partner? A size queen isn't just a woman who makes a cute quip about dick size, it's a woman who makes it her primary selection criteria. C'mon..

 

[ClockworkFox]

Again.. Bullshit. My wife has had my "hugeness" for years and will tell you it's more of a problem than an advantage; as would any of my past girlfriends. And her OBGYN has other patients who complain that their partners large penis is a problem. And they are not all menopausal.

And as the owner of the aforementioned huge penis I can assure you I know how to "wield" it. I'm a fit, attractive guy who woman find appealing. And in all of my relationships I have had frequent sex that as often as not was initiated by my partner. So yes, I know how to be an exciting and attentive lover. ..But my big dick never made the sex better. It frustrated my partners desire to give me head or (not every woman's bag) take me anally. ..And even PIV can be uncomfortable because of accidentally bumping her cervix. My wife recalls enjoying her lovers testicles pressing into her vulva but that can't happen your tip jabs her cervix first.

Again... When women buy dildos, they overwhelmingly buy ones that are average in size. ..And when women are surveyed about their sexual fantasies, "Huge dick!!" never gets mentioned. So, how does this square with your belief that most women crave huge dicks?

Whoa, hot diggety, someone called the Big Cock Police! At first I thought wifey's OBGYN stood for Old Boyfriend Girth Yearning Nostalgia, but that could hardly be true in your case, apparently, LMWM321. Talking of mysterious acronyms, is yours LargeMegaWeightMonster, by any chance? 321 because the girlies count you down to an equally huge spurting session?

Don't get all flustered about it. Own it with a smile, big boy.

 

[LMWM321]

Whoa, hot diggety, someone called the Big Cock Police! At first I thought wifey's OBGYN stood for Old Boyfriend Girth Yearning Nostalgia, but that could hardly be true in your case, apparently, LMWM321. Talking of mysterious acronyms, is yours LargeMegaWeightMonster, by any chance? 321 because the girlies count you down to an equally huge spurting session?

Don't get all flustered about it. Own it with a smile, big boy.

I have no idea what you're saying, here. ..oh, and if you must know what LMWM321 stands for, it's "Likes Making Women Moan" and 321 is the average amount of time it takes, in seconds, until their first of many orgasms. Boy, I would have thought that was all obvious.

 

[ClockworkFox]

Well, read it again and again, what can I say? I'm sure you make women moan, too. Maybe not always in a good way, but still. It's me scratching my head as to what the five and a half minute thing is, though - duration of orgasm? Talk about Mr Thousandmen. As for 321, those are deffo very good moaning odds. In the good way, I mean.

 

[BillyWalrus]

What would be considered main stream media anymore?

How often does media accurately portray most things? It seems like media of ANY sort, main stream or not, does everything that they can portray things in a way that pull on individuals emotions. Cock size is just another topic for media to take advantage of emotions.

No the media depiction of size queens is not accurate.

I do not see cock size discussed in the media at all ever. I don't know what you are looking at but I literally never see any mention of it.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I'm still waiting for someone to point to ANY media depiction of Size Queens outside of Porn and maybe rap music.

Tell me, in what mainstream movies or TV shows are we presented with a female character who makes "huge dick" a priority as she seeks out a relationship partner? A size queen isn't just a woman who makes a cute quip about dick size, it's a woman who makes it her primary selection criteria. C'mon..

OMG! EXACTLY RIGHT. These people literally fabricate this stuff out of thin air.

 

[ClockworkFox]

Come on, BillyWalrus and LMWM321, this isn't a serious thread, more like an excuse for people to weigh in and tell us they wish they had a twelve-incher because they're sick of this big one.

It's a refreshing change from all the small-penis humiliation seekers out there, if you ask me. Except you weren't. I should have ended that sentence with "I'll tell you", which I was and am telling you.

 

[LMWM321]

Come on, BillyWalrus and LMWM321, this isn't a serious thread, more like an excuse for people to weigh in and tell us they wish they had a twelve-incher because they're sick of this big one.

It's a refreshing change from all the small-penis humiliation seekers out there, if you ask me. Except you weren't. I should have ended that sentence with "I'll tell you", which I was and am telling you.

When someone presents a question, I assume they’re looking for a serious answer. Why wouldn't I? After all, this forum isn’t just about Fetishes… It’s also about Sexuality. And if you read this whole thread, there are several others giving serious, well-considered replies.

If people just want others to provide banter for them to jerk off to, they should just say it when they start a thread.

 

[ClockworkFox]

I want others to provide banter for me to jerk off to. Mind you, I sometimes provide banter myself for people to jerk off to, although it's not always for people to jerk off to. People may jerk off to it or not, because I could give a fuck, and I'll never know anyway. Unless they tell me they do. And even then they could be lying ...

I suppose I could ask ... is anyone out there jerking off to this banter? Might as well come out with it, right? ... ... Oops ...

 

[LMWM321]

I want others to provide banter for me to jerk off to.

Fine, then join me in asking people who start threads to make it obvious that their post is about eliciting jerk-off banter and not about eliciting facts, or at least sincere opinions.

I love kink as much as the next guy, but I don't like tropes that can be harmful... So when I see threads like (paraphrasing) "Squirting - is it pee, or girl cum?" or "Do all white women crave BBC?" or "Does being pegged make you gay?" or this thread, the 10,000th about dick size, I chime in with what I believe about the subject. ..And I don't think being a guy necessarily disqualifies my opinions so long as I'm honest about my gender and substantiate my statements.

 

[lil_jenni]

I do not see cock size discussed in the media at all ever. I don't know what you are looking at but I literally never see any mention of it.

I think the OP was using 'media' in it's less colloquial sense. Media is the plural of medium, and in the context of information/entertainment, a medium is the method by which information and entertainment is conveyed (TV, radio, podcast, blogs, videos, photos, paintings, etc.). However, that meaning is becoming more technical as the colloquial meaning of media (i.e. news/opinion/editorial content) becomes more prevalent. However, media is still used in the more technical sense (e.g., 'mass media', 'popular media', etc.) with regard to entertainment sources, which is clearly what the OP meant.

Perhaps the OP should have used 'popular mass media' as that term covers a broader spectrum than 'mainstream media', as well as avoids the pitfalls of a term that has become conflated with traditional news sources rather than with various other types of media.

Oh shit. I forgot. I'm a slutty woman (and naturally blonde despite the red dye). Ummm... Words are hard. Me like dick, thick and hard. Sucky sucky.

 

[lil_jenni]

With respect to some of the big dick energy type posts above, they are great examples of why this site needs the emoji as a reaction emoji.

 

[whenagain]

I think the OP was using 'media' in it's less colloquial sense. Media is the plural of medium, and in the context of information/entertainment, a medium is the method by which information and entertainment is conveyed (TV, radio, podcast, blogs, videos, photos, paintings, etc.). However, that meaning is becoming more technical as the colloquial meaning of media (i.e. news/opinion/editorial content) becomes more prevalent. However, media is still used in the more technical sense (e.g., 'mass media', 'popular media', etc.) with regard to entertainment sources, which is clearly what the OP meant.

Perhaps the OP should have used 'popular mass media' as that term covers a broader spectrum than 'mainstream media', as well as avoids the pitfalls of a term that has become conflated with traditional news sources rather than with various other types of media.

Yeah, I should have said “popular mass media” or “movies and tv shows” (since I was thinking specifically of those). . . “Mainstream media” has definitely been a co opted term.

 

[lil_jenni]

Fine, then join me in asking people who start threads to make it obvious that their post is about eliciting jerk-off banter and not about eliciting facts, or at least sincere opinions.

I love kink as much as the next guy, but I don't like tropes that can be harmful... So when I see threads like (paraphrasing) "Squirting - is it pee, or girl cum?" or "Do all white women crave BBC?" or "Does being pegged make you gay?" or this thread, the 10,000th about dick size, I chime in with what I believe about the subject. ..And I don't think being a guy necessarily disqualifies my opinions so long as I'm honest about my gender and substantiate my statements.

You are correct. We should all avoid hyper-generalizing others. Wait. Is that in itself a hyper-generalization? Well, fuck. Looks like I Obi-wan Kenobied the fuck out of that. You know, because "Only a Sith deals in absolutes."