Women's Snappy Comebacks

[Svenskaflicka]

This tickled my funny bone


wife: what would you like for your birthday this year?

husband: a divorce

wife: I wasn't planning on spending that much

My friend M once told her husband, during a fight: "Honey, a divorce costs only 500:- SKR..."

 

[lucky-E-leven]

That's a real drink, which I've seen drunk on a bet -- it was called "Dead Man's Jizz" at the time, if I remember rightly.

There are several drinks that will do this. I'd never heard of this one, but when I used to cocktail waitress we made one called the cement mixer that was absolutely awful. It was impossible to swallow and unbelievably nasty tasting, but not until it was much too late to do anything about it.

Funny stuff.

~lucky

Me...I prefer body shots

 

[RenzaJones]

I need to know why certain men seem to think I'll be obercome with gladness at the feel of their dick pressed far to close to my ass when I'm in a club. If

they seem to get a little offended when I advise "If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot." of course some of them have no earthly idea what brevity means so it's sometimes lost in translation.

 

[Guest]

I need to know why certain men seem to think I'll be obercome with gladness at the feel of their dick pressed far to close to my ass when I'm in a club. If

they seem to get a little offended when I advise "If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot." of course some of them have no earthly idea what brevity means so it's sometimes lost in translation.

answer below:

 

[TheEarl]

There are several drinks that will do this. I'd never heard of this one, but when I used to cocktail waitress we made one called the cement mixer that was absolutely awful. It was impossible to swallow and unbelievably nasty tasting, but not until it was much too late to do anything about it.

Funny stuff.

~lucky

Me...I prefer body shots

For those of you who are into sick practical jokes:

A cement mixer is one shot of lemon or lime juice in one shot glass and one shot of baileys in another. Find someone reasonably drunk and tell them to drink the bailey's but don't swallow, just hold it in their mouth. Then get them to add the lemon juice and shake their head briskly to mix them. The lemon curdles the Bailey's forming a disgusting foam thing. Imagine frothy curdled milk.

Apparently very entertaining to do to drunk people.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

I advise "If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot."

Renza, did you make that up? Brilliant.

Perdita

 

[lucky-E-leven]

For those of you who are into sick practical jokes:

A cement mixer is one shot of lemon or lime juice in one shot glass and one shot of baileys in another. Find someone reasonably drunk and tell them to drink the bailey's but don't swallow, just hold it in their mouth. Then get them to add the lemon juice and shake their head briskly to mix them. The lemon curdles the Bailey's forming a disgusting foam thing. Imagine frothy curdled milk.

Apparently very entertaining to do to drunk people.

The Earl

Howdy Earl,

Extremely entertaining to do to drunk people, but quite a bitch for the cocktail waitress to clean up...ugh. Even a good laugh has a price, I tell ya. We instructed people to start with the bailey's and then toss in the juice and then swish as though it were flouride at the dentist. Always a riot to see the ensuing expression when the bailey's changed consistency and normally brought about phat tips for the chance to laugh at one's buddy (my favorite part).

~lucky

 

[TheEarl]

Off-topic

I do like the 2nd part of your sig.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Re: Off-topic

I do like the 2nd part of your sig.

<raised eyebrow>

Pear

 

[destinie21]

since this thread is a little off topic already I'd just like to say
I dig Dita's hair.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Off-topic

<raised eyebrow>

Pear

lower that eyebrow, gorgeous, I'll only be whispering in your mouth, to be sure...

~lucky (all Perdita's)

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Off-topic

I do like the 2nd part of your sig.

The Earl

Thanks Earl...I do enjoy a good whisper

~lucky

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Off-topic

lower that eyebrow, gorgeous, I'll only be whispering in your mouth, to be sure... ~lucky (all Perdita's)

My knees just buckled. Fortunately I'm still in bed (have the day off; ooh, maybe I'll get off myself )

Lucky's Perdita

 

[Guest]

I dig Dita's hair.

Thank, Dest. However, my hairdress of the past decade, Bruce, has left town and I am so anxious about a new one .

Perdita

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Off-topic

My knees just buckled. Fortunately I'm still in bed (have the day off; ooh, maybe I'll get off myself )

Lucky's Perdita

I want details, love...don't hold back and be sure to remember everything

~lucky (getting luckier with thoughts of P doing....)

 

[destinie21]

Thank, Dest. However, my hairdress of the past decade, Bruce, has left town and I am so anxious about a new one .

Perdita

perhaps you're not aware that you're hot Dita, but from one fine chick to another it doesn't matter so much what on top of your head as whats in it. Meanwhile you're fine enough to pull off any style.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

perhaps you're not aware that you're hot Dita, but from one fine chick to another it doesn't matter so much what on top of your head as whats in it. Meanwhile you're fine enough to pull off any style.

Back Off! She's mine, all mine!

~lucky

 

[destinie21]

Back Off! She's mine, all mine!

~lucky

lol calm yourself, besides I don't whisper I scream

 

[Guest]

O la la! I think I like gurls fighting over me better than blokes (it's all about them really anyway).

Lucky, sugar, I'm true blue and yours,

Perdita

(thanks for your cool words though, Dest.; don't be greedy, you've got Renzie ).

 

[lucky-E-leven]

O la la! I think I like gurls fighting over me better than blokes (it's all about them really anyway).

Lucky, sugar, I'm true blue and yours,

Perdita

(thanks for your cool words though, Dest.; don't be greedy, you've got Renzie ).

lucky

 

[destinie21]

(thanks for your cool words though, Dest.; don't be greedy, you've got Renzie ).

I wasn't being greedy love my compliments were all true but not to worry though I'd still do you