Worst Pick Up Lines
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A Desert Rose
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James G 5 said:
Deja Vu...
niteshade
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James G 5 said:
Lol.. well, I don't usually say that... what I might say would be "Does this look ok" to which, I expect an honest answer... My feelings get hurt more by being lied to than by being told that pair of pants with that particular shirt makes my ass look even bigger than it really is.
James G 5 said:I dunno what pickup line this guy used, but it obviously got him the gila his dreams
Now *that* is funny, James!
I think the worst and possibly the funniest pick up line I have have ever had was from this guy that used to go out with one of my chums. After she had ditched him (because he was none too hygienic in the knicker department - ewww!), he came up to me in the pub one night, smarmily sneaked his arm around my shoulders and whispered,
"Ok babe, come home with me and I will give you something you have never had before"
I managed to break free of him, look him in they eye and reply (in a very loud voice),
"What? Chlamydia?!"
Hehe.....bloody cheek of him! He was a thoroughly horrible guy!
Left me alone after that; though not before telling every other male in the place I must be a lesbian if I didn't fancy him.
Funny thing, there seemed to be an awful lot of us there that night!
LOL!
Oh, and James - Ark's post was referring to the fact that over here, often when people end up going home with someone, the term is that they have 'pulled'.
Not one of the more pleasant English colloquialisms!
thegreenfairy
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I went clothes chopping with a male friend who had to buy pants. After trying on a pair, he asked if I liked them, and I replied, "they're ok, but they'd look better in a crumpled heap next to my bed."
We're just friends though....
We're just friends though....
A Desert Rose
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beansoup said:
This is like some kind of lateral thinking puzzle, right?
I was always bad at that stuff... I've had to think after I read this.
Very Good!!! ;-)
A Desert Rose
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thegreenfairy said:
That is funny! Bet he had to think twice, huh?
A Desert Rose
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AgentAika said:I think the worst and possibly the funniest pick up line I have have ever had was from this guy that used to go out with one of my chums. After she had ditched him (because he was none too hygienic in the knicker department - ewww!), he came up to me in the pub one night, smarmily sneaked his arm around my shoulders and whispered,
"Ok babe, come home with me and I will give you something you have never had before"
I managed to break free of him, look him in they eye and reply (in a very loud voice),
"What? Chlamydia?!"
Hehe.....bloody cheek of him! He was a thoroughly horrible guy!
Left me alone after that; though not before telling every other male in the place I must be a lesbian if I didn't fancy him.
Funny thing, there seemed to be an awful lot of us there that night!
LOL!
Oh, and James - Ark's post was referring to the fact that over here, often when people end up going home with someone, the term is that they have 'pulled'.
Not one of the more pleasant English colloquialisms!
I loved this. And don't you just love how when someone is rejected the first thing they do is resort to "name" calling? Like... Oh boy, is that gonna hurt!
Thanks for clearing up the "pulled" thing. I was wondering about that, too.
landcruisergal
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I had a guy come up to me and whisper "20 tonne polar bear, 20 tonne polar bear" in my ear. Whe I said Huh?, he grinned and said he was trying the break the ice.....
A Desert Rose
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landcruisergal said:I had a guy come up to me and whisper "20 tonne polar bear, 20 tonne polar bear" in my ear. Whe I said Huh?, he grinned and said he was trying the break the ice.....
LMAO ooooooh god....
Howling_Ire
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ok..here is a bad one...
desert rose
you're the one i want to lay-uh=aye-aye
....done..thank you sting
've also heard
nice shoes, wanna fuck?
how about a fuck and a pizza? what you don't like pizza?
that necklace is very becomeing on you..of course if i were on you i'd be comeing too.
*checks the back of someone's tag on thier clothes*
"what are you doing?"
"looking for where it says made in heaven."
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
......
the "pulled" thing reminds me of this night club i used to go to..it was a fetish/goth night, here in dallas, that's called The Church...well they used to refer to the various sluts and manwhores who got around the place (you know, played swap the vd) as "church take out."
i always thought that was very very funny.
......
i've had guys come up tto me in bar's who i kind aknow, give me the big old "i'm really feeling your boobies but don't want to get slapped" hug and then ask me in a cute voice, with realy cute eyes why if i wanted to go home with them..to which i normaly reply.
"i'm sorry, does your mommy know you're out?"
cause it urks me when men ask for sex like small children ask for desert. call me a bitch
....
i also had this one night at a club where this guy who i'd been flirting with (he kinda looked like Pink, in The Wall, after the mental break down where he shaves of his hair and nipples, yeah..reall creepy) came up to me, give me the boob hug, and told me he'd really like me to come home with him, and while we were on our way thier, buy and put on a white thong..because he thought it'd look fabulious on my ass.
to which i turned bright fucking red, stuttered, and informed him that i had to take my friend home, and she wouldn't be to fond of me sleeping with other people. and of course at this point he offered for both of us to come home with him.
......
desert rose
you're the one i want to lay-uh=aye-aye
....done..thank you sting
've also heard
nice shoes, wanna fuck?
how about a fuck and a pizza? what you don't like pizza?
that necklace is very becomeing on you..of course if i were on you i'd be comeing too.
*checks the back of someone's tag on thier clothes*
"what are you doing?"
"looking for where it says made in heaven."
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
......
the "pulled" thing reminds me of this night club i used to go to..it was a fetish/goth night, here in dallas, that's called The Church...well they used to refer to the various sluts and manwhores who got around the place (you know, played swap the vd) as "church take out."
i always thought that was very very funny.
......
i've had guys come up tto me in bar's who i kind aknow, give me the big old "i'm really feeling your boobies but don't want to get slapped" hug and then ask me in a cute voice, with realy cute eyes why if i wanted to go home with them..to which i normaly reply.
"i'm sorry, does your mommy know you're out?"
cause it urks me when men ask for sex like small children ask for desert. call me a bitch
....
i also had this one night at a club where this guy who i'd been flirting with (he kinda looked like Pink, in The Wall, after the mental break down where he shaves of his hair and nipples, yeah..reall creepy) came up to me, give me the boob hug, and told me he'd really like me to come home with him, and while we were on our way thier, buy and put on a white thong..because he thought it'd look fabulious on my ass.
to which i turned bright fucking red, stuttered, and informed him that i had to take my friend home, and she wouldn't be to fond of me sleeping with other people. and of course at this point he offered for both of us to come home with him.
......
Last edited:
A Desert Rose
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Howling_Ire said:ok..here is a bad one...
desert rose
you're the one i want to lay-uh=aye-aye
....done..thank you sting
've also heard
nice shoes, wanna fuck?
how about a fuck and a pizza? what you don't like pizza?
that necklace is very becomeing on you..of course if i were on you i'd be comeing too.
*checks the back of someone's tag on thier clothes*
"what are you doing?"
"looking for where it says made in heaven."
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
......
the "pulled" thing reminds me of this night club i used to go to..it was a fetish/goth night, here in dallas, that's called The Church...well they used to refer to the various sluts and manwhores who got around the place (you know, played swap the vd) as "church take out."
i always thought that was very very funny.
......
i've had guys come up tto me in bar's who i kind aknow, give me the big old "i'm really feeling your boobies but don't want to get slapped" hug and then ask me in a cute voice, with realy cute eyes why if i wanted to go home with them..to which i normaly reply.
"i'm sorry, does your mommy know you're out?"
cause it urks me when men ask for sex like small children ask for desert. call me a bitch
....
i also had this one night at a club where this guy who i'd been flirting with (he kinda looked like Pink, in The Wall, after the mental break down where he shaves of his hair and nipples, yeah..reall creepy) came up to me, give me the boob hug, and told me he'd really like me to come home with him, and while we were on our way thier, buy and put on a white thong..because he thought it'd look fabulious on my ass.
to which i turned bright fucking red, stuttered, and informed him that i had to take my friend home, and she wouldn't be to fond of me sleeping with other people. and of course at this point he offered for both of us to come home with him.
......
That is all hilarious!!!! lmao. Thank you for all this.
It's soooo good to see you again, Howling. I've missed you.
Howling_Ire
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thanks, i've missed you adn many more alot... i just finaly got a job, it's an hour away from where i live..and we're moveing soon..and my fiance works nights so ususaly i'm stuck an hour away from home doing nothing..and just streass stress..but i'mm finding some time for things recently, so you'll be seeing a little more of me.
James G 5
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AgentAika said:Now *that* is funny, James!
Oh, and James - Ark's post was referring to the fact that over here, often when people end up going home with someone, the term is that they have 'pulled'.
Not one of the more pleasant English colloquialisms!
Thank you
And that reminds me of an old Billy Crystal routing where he talks about how awful guys can sound when they talk about sex
"Sherry? Yeah, I FUCKED her. I fucked the SHIT out of her. I fucked her so hard, her BRAINS came out."
People come up with some awful things to say about one of the best things people can DO
BTW, I think Brit accents are sexy & I don't have chlamydia
Ham Murabi
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Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
hurtme
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actually, the origional line is "nice boots, wanna fuck" and it comes from us wierd goths, of course...it was actually started in the alt.goth channel...and proceeded out of there...as far as i know, it is in reference to the fact that most goths spend more money on their dizzying array of footwear then they do anything else...it is a well known line, in most goth circles, especially if those goths were exposed to alt.goth...a lot of goths use it as a joke, some people use it because they don't understand it, and some people use, it know what it means, and still find it amusing...I actually hear it on a regualr basis at the club...I have had the line used on me before...On that note, i thought i would include a few bad goth pick-up lines...
“You’re so beautiful, when I look at you my heart starts beating… I think.”
“Wanna go somewhere a little darker?” (have had this one used on me)
“You are as sexy as death itself.” (ditto)
“I lost my black lipstick, can I borrow yours?” (yep, guys really do say that, and it has worked)
“You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.” ( i have had someone say that to me, and then proceed to get almost nekkid to show me the LARGE tat of her name on his body)
“You would make a beautiful corpse.”
“Ever do it on an embalming table?”
“Go out with me or I’ll kill us both!”
“Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?”
“You’re depressed, TOO?!”
“I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say…” (quoting david bowie in labyrinth, i love that line, and it might be cheesy, but it would so work on me)
“Hey, can I bum a clove?”
"Hey! You two are pretty hot for a couple of dead chicks!"
"Excuse me, but your veil is caught in my handcuffs..."
"Hey you! You in the black!"
"I'm bored. Entertain me and I'll buy you a beer." (used by goth girls, who are often trying to keep up their blunt a jaded appearence, while trying to get a piece)
"Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your affection?"
"Say something to scare me."
"I wanted to get your name before one of us dies."
"Once you go black, you never come back..." (in reference to goth, not skin color)
and one that isn't a bad line, i just love it so i thought i would include it...
Beckon to girl with finger, when she comes over say: If I can make you cum with one finger just think what I can do with my whole body
“You’re so beautiful, when I look at you my heart starts beating… I think.”
“Wanna go somewhere a little darker?” (have had this one used on me)
“You are as sexy as death itself.” (ditto)
“I lost my black lipstick, can I borrow yours?” (yep, guys really do say that, and it has worked)
“You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.” ( i have had someone say that to me, and then proceed to get almost nekkid to show me the LARGE tat of her name on his body)
“You would make a beautiful corpse.”
“Ever do it on an embalming table?”
“Go out with me or I’ll kill us both!”
“Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?”
“You’re depressed, TOO?!”
“I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say…” (quoting david bowie in labyrinth, i love that line, and it might be cheesy, but it would so work on me)
“Hey, can I bum a clove?”
"Hey! You two are pretty hot for a couple of dead chicks!"
"Excuse me, but your veil is caught in my handcuffs..."
"Hey you! You in the black!"
"I'm bored. Entertain me and I'll buy you a beer." (used by goth girls, who are often trying to keep up their blunt a jaded appearence, while trying to get a piece)
"Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your affection?"
"Say something to scare me."
"I wanted to get your name before one of us dies."
"Once you go black, you never come back..." (in reference to goth, not skin color)
and one that isn't a bad line, i just love it so i thought i would include it...
Beckon to girl with finger, when she comes over say: If I can make you cum with one finger just think what I can do with my whole body
landcruisergal
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The best and worst was actually a success for a friend of mine.
We worked in a tourist town and coming home enebriated from a local watering hole.The walk took us past the backpackers and this cute nordic looking lad was waiting to use the public phone.
My friend walked up to him and said...
" you've got great teeth. I'm ovulating. Lets go."
He was stunned. She took him back to the nurses quarters and kept him for two days.You needed a security pass to get out, but he didnt seem too eager to escape.
We quoted her for months.
We worked in a tourist town and coming home enebriated from a local watering hole.The walk took us past the backpackers and this cute nordic looking lad was waiting to use the public phone.
My friend walked up to him and said...
" you've got great teeth. I'm ovulating. Lets go."
He was stunned. She took him back to the nurses quarters and kept him for two days.You needed a security pass to get out, but he didnt seem too eager to escape.
We quoted her for months.
A Desert Rose
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landcruisergal said:
You know... you are full of good stuff!
I like you. ;-) Alot.
landcruisergal
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A Desert Rose said:
Grins, aw shucks...I like you too. Your posts always have me laughing. Gotta love your truly feminine mind..You bring a softer touch to my world.
James MacGregor
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I don't know if this considered a pickup line, mebbe an invite...or an advertisement. I saw this on the front of a girls shirt one night in a bar.
"Whip Me...Beat Me...Bite Me...F#ck Me...Cum on My tits, tell me you love me then get the F#ck Out!!!"
"Whip Me...Beat Me...Bite Me...F#ck Me...Cum on My tits, tell me you love me then get the F#ck Out!!!"
A Desert Rose
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James MacGregor said:
That's funny .... LOL
