Writing Challenge ~ 1st - 14th March 2011 ~ Reviews and Comments

[Last_Rider]

Since I seem to be the only one giving feedback atm, you're most welcome.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

Reserved for comments when I get my lazy butt around to it!

 

[princesssexci]

Thank you Last_Rider for the comments and I will definitely take them into consideration for the next writing challenge.. The whole abortion thing sickened me too but I was trying to think how a woman would feel with a broken heart after finding out her boyfriend was sleeping with her best friend. I do not support abortion in any way, shape, or form! ^_^

As far as running away to Vegas with a lover, when you're heartbroken you do make foolish mistakes.

 

[Last_Rider]

The Touch - PenIsMightier

Mmmmm, tentacles. OK, it's not one of my all time fetishes, but it's always been appealing, and you write incredibly well. The way she goes from fear into relaxed acceptance, into just a pool of desire is done well, and makes sense. There's nothing illogical about her progression, and nothing breaks the flow of the story. My compliments on such a well done piece.

 

[fddb410]

The Touch - PenIsMightier

I truly was not expecting the tentacles as my mind had initially gone to something else, but I moved into acceptance of them as she did. The mental imagery was quite vivd. It was a very natural and highly erotic progression. Very nicely done.

 

[PenIsMightier1]

Thanks a lot you guys, I knew that tentacles might not be some people's cup of tea, so I'm glad you still managed to enjoy it anyway.

One of my main reasons behind this story, besides the fact that it got me really hot thinking about was that I wanted to actually make this a happy story.

Because no offense to everyone else, but geez the rest of the stories have been so sad. I love a good dark story, and so far these have all been good pieces, they certainly evoke emotions; oddly enough despite my deep cynicism, love is the one area where I am a sap.

 

[fddb410]

Thank you Last_Rider for the comments and I will definitely take them into consideration for the next writing challenge.. The whole abortion thing sickened me too but I was trying to think how a woman would feel with a broken heart after finding out her boyfriend was sleeping with her best friend. I do not support abortion in any way, shape, or form! ^_^

As far as running away to Vegas with a lover, when you're heartbroken you do make foolish mistakes.

I've re-read your story a few times now and each time I've gotten more out of it. The loss of the child was extremely sad but the twist at the end about her obvious infidelity seemed very much human to me...perhaps a bit of social commentary? Thanks for posting it. It really has had me thinking. If I'd been she I doubt I'd have made it to my wedding day

 

[fddb410]

Thanks a lot you guys, I knew that tentacles might not be some people's cup of tea, so I'm glad you still managed to enjoy it anyway.

One of my main reasons behind this story, besides the fact that it got me really hot thinking about was that I wanted to actually make this a happy story.

Because no offense to everyone else, but geez the rest of the stories have been so sad. I love a good dark story, and so far these have all been good pieces, they certainly evoke emotions; oddly enough despite my deep cynicism, love is the one area where I am a sap.

No offense taken...I just responded in mine as it flowed immediately after seeing the photo, and I actually postponed posting it while I tried to imagine the photo in a positive light. I just couldn't find a scenario where a burnt love note was a positive one.

That was one reason why I appreciated your erotic take on it. Sorry..no pun necessarily intended but nice thinking outside the box.

 

[fr33ks33k]

After reading back through all the entries, it is true that most of the imagery is dark and desolate. I find that it isn't an unwelcome feeling, though.

On the whole all the pieces were enjoyable to read, but I particularly enjoyed CK's, FD's, and Pen's. I'm looking forward to the next challenge.

 

[Britwitch]

Ok, a couple of quick reviews before work and the rest I will try to do when I get home


Short, cheesy, luuuuv. ~ Mephistophelily

It was a lovely little piece. It was, as the titled indicated, a tad on the sappy side but I really liked it. The sweetness of the opening made the ending all the more poignant. Loved it!


Fucking Bastard ~ Noon_Shadow

She was off her cake! You captured her instability without making her come across as unbelievably so. Very dark and I could really feel the tension when he realised she was there with him. Awesome!

Will do my utmost to get to all the other awesome pieces tonight!!

New challenge coming tomorrow peoples

 

[Niriate]

Haven't had any time to post something, so I'll save my part for the second half of this month's contest.

 

[Last_Rider]

I agree that this image has evoked some sad stories, I tried to make mine a little more optimistic despite the bit of sadness.

 

[Britwitch]

Mine, if I get it finished in time, has a slightly different tone...hopefully I'll have it ready so you guys can be the judge

EDIT: Yay, I posted, finally! Not sure yet if I'm happy with it but...meh...just glad I got something to add

 

[Britwitch]

Some more reviews...


Untitled ~ Asa
Very nice little story. I can only echo the comments of others in that some punctuation and speech marks would make it soooo much easier to read I really liked this, it didn’t feel forced or over the top, exceedingly well written!

Mission Completed ~ Cosmic Knight
A very effective thought provoking piece and this is what I love about these challenges. How very differently one image can inspire so many varied pieces. Love your stuff CK and this was no exception.

Always ~ Last_Rider
This was sad but I definitely caught the hint of hope you put into it. The idea that an ending isn’t always as final as that. That it’s usually the beginning of something new. A really lovely little piece!

Untitled ~ xOxCherryxOx
I was a little worried at first as yours and mine have similar elements but your ending was decidedly different to mine and so I went ahead with mine anyway Yours I loved, short but dramatic and, again, not over the top. It was believable and that’s I think what made it so effective for me.

 

[PenIsMightier1]

Britwitch - Yours always

This one made me smile. It seemed like it was going to be another sad story that the image seems to evoke, but then you turned it around and made it an even more romantic story

Well done

 

[Last_Rider]

Yours Always - Britwitch

I liked this, the setup was nice, her mind instantly flashing to regret. I feel that part could be more emotionally disjointed to further mirror the state of mind, but the rush of her feeling when he shows up is totally genuine and believable. Definitely a well written piece.

 

[Britwitch]

Britwitch - Yours always

This one made me smile. It seemed like it was going to be another sad story that the image seems to evoke, but then you turned it around and made it an even more romantic story

Well done

Thank you I got the idea for the 'ending' first and just had to figure out how to get there. Glad it worked for you

And the last of my reviews...

All That Remains ~ fr55ks33k
Gorgeous, simply gorgeous. I only wish I could write like this! That last line “…All that remains are three x's, simplistic strikes that show your time has run out…” blows me away each time I read it. Outstanding!

Sacrifices ~ Firmhanded_Daddy
I don’t think I breathed the whole time I read this, it had me totally captivated from the get go. Stunning, so dramatic and yet intimate. You’re so so talented, I do so hope you’ll join in with the next challenge too

Untitled ~ fddb410
This brought several tears to my eyes. Goodness me, I knew putting a prompt like this would possibly inspire pieces like this but I never expected stuff as moving as this. If people don’t read anything else from this month’s challenge, they should definitely read this!!

Untitled ~ princesssexci
I liked the premise of this but I think it just flowed a little too ‘quickly’ to be believable for me personally. I think it would benefit from being a little longer, allowing maybe a flashback to discovering his infidelities or something else to bring her hurt to life. I did like but I know with a few little changes, I’d love it but that’s just me!

Slitherthing ~ Vail_Indigo
Dark and dangerous and superbly written. You and your mind, you amaze me. Definitely got the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, creepy and deliciously so!

The Touch ~ PenIsMightier1
Never thought of tentacles really, in all honesty but damn if that wasn’t sexy as all hell. And so very different from everything else, loved it Pen, loved it.


Will open the new challenge in the morning, to give people a chance to read and review the current pieces!! Hint Hint

 

[Britwitch]

Yours Always - Britwitch

I liked this, the setup was nice, her mind instantly flashing to regret. I feel that part could be more emotionally disjointed to further mirror the state of mind, but the rush of her feeling when he shows up is totally genuine and believable. Definitely a well written piece.

Awww thanks I'll admit I wasn't entirely happy with that section of it but didn't want to take to long tinkering and miss my own deadline
Glad you liked it!

 

[fr33ks33k]

Thank you I got the idea for the 'ending' first and just had to figure out how to get there. Glad it worked for you

And the last of my reviews...

All That Remains ~ fr55ks33k
Gorgeous, simply gorgeous. I only wish I could write like this! That last line “…All that remains are three x's, simplistic strikes that show your time has run out…” blows me away each time I read it. Outstanding!

Will open the new challenge in the morning, to give people a chance to read and review the current pieces!! Hint Hint

Thank you Brit. I rather enjoyed your piece. As I read it, I felt like it was to be another sad story with the burnt letter at the end, but you turned it into a brighter story about not sweating the small stuff and being grateful for the little things. Very well done.

 

[zydrate]

Be gentle...runs to hide

 

[Last_Rider]

Free! - Zydrate

Short, sweet, absolutely to the point. You managed to capture a bit of the joy she must have felt, and a bit of psychosis if I'm not mistaken. I'm left wondering if the hand is his or hers, if she killed him or stayed and killed herself in the final desperate act to get away from him. Either way, well done.

 

[fddb410]

My apologies for not having made comments on all the pieces posted individually aside from the posts I’ve commented upon. It looks like most or all are up so I’ll try to catch up now

Short, cheesy, luuuuv. ~ Mephistophelily

I thought this was a lovely and sweetly romantic piece as it opened but then it ended bitter-sweetly. It was beautifully written. I enjoyed it a lot.

Fucking Bastard ~ Noon_Shadow

What an incredibly dark story. Her homicidal madness was perfectly portrayed. The tension built up in a very realistic way feeding the fulfillment of foreboding fear he must have felt. Her moment of dissociative thought seemed right on target. Another well written piece...I was totally engrossed.

Untitled ~ Asa
This was a great story. I really liked it. I did have to ‘insert’ my own quotation marks as I read it but it didn’t at all detract from the well written and conceived story.

Mission Completed ~ Cosmic Knight
Your orientation for this story was creative and ingeniously written. Nicely done.

Always ~ Last_Rider
This piece had very vivid imagery as I read it. I was trying to sort out if he was intent on doing her harm, until the very end when his feelings for her became quite evident. Nicely done piece sir. It left me wanting to go onto the next scene to see how the story sorted itself out.

Untitled ~ xOxCherryxOx
I read this after I had written my own and I was caught up in the romantic quality of how it opened. The ending had me feeling her pain and quite vividly visualizing the scene she must have seen and the gripping pain she had to have felt as the reality of it hit her. Nicely done.

All That Remains ~ fr55ks33k
This piece was like reading poetry. It just blew me away. It’s just beautifully written.

Sacrifices ~ Firmhanded_Daddy
This was a very dramatic scene. I was pulled into it from the beginning all the way to the heroic end. A very well written piece and creatively conceived to capture the prompt.

Slitherthing ~ Vail_Indigo
This was truly scary. You did a great job of building the fear and the sense of horrifying pursuit. This piece was beautifully crafted and conceived.

Yours Always ~ Britwitch
Nicely done story. It started out and led me to some horrible conclusions, but ended beautifully. Nicely done getting to where you wanted it to go. I smiled broadly when it concluded.

Free! ~ zydrate
A nicely written short piece of grisly homicidal revenge. Wow. I was taken by surprise by the grisly evidence at the end. Well done.

*Whew* I enjoyed participating in the challenge and I have to confess that I truly enjoyed every entry posted. This is a very talented group of writers. Thank you all!

 

[Britwitch]

This challenge is now closed for new entries but please do continue to review and discuss the submissions for it!

Thanks to all who read, enjoyed and commented!

​

Zy - will review you when I get home from work Loved it though!!