What kind of comments would you like to receive on your stories?

[Actingup]

Thanks PSG and understood, but Fanny as in Lady's front bottom might cause a road hump for States readers. Slacks are a bit archaic for younger readers. I have reasons for the other two, again archaic as in Ass being a Mule and Arse not being middle class.
Possibly I hand hold too much, but it keeps it out of the main text! YMMV IRTRTBW

Ass meaning arse still trips me up when reading US stories, even after many years! What’s you preferred middle class term - bottom? I’m tending towards that or bum in Australian middle class English.

Back on the thread, I do appreciate receiving speed hump comments. I had a few on my first story that really helped a course correction,

 

[pink_silk_glove]

speed hump

This one is actually a little bit obscure. In North America we call them speed bumps. Then I heard that in the UK they call them sleeping policemen, which I thought was cute. I had a co-worker from South Africa and asked him, he said that they were definitely speed humps. He had never heard of speed bumps nor sleeping policemen. I think that the UK does in fact use speed humps, but just occasionally sleeping policemen.

What say you, Australia?

 

[AlexFourways]

This one is actually a little bit obscure. In North America we call them speed bumps. Then I heard that in the UK they call them sleeping policemen, which I thought was cute. I had a co-worker from South Africa and asked him, he said that they were definitely speed humps. He had never heard of speed bumps nor sleeping policemen. I think that the UK does in fact use speed humps, but just occasionally sleeping policemen.

What say you, Australia?

Actually, as a retired British Highway Engineer, I must slap my wrist. In UK legislation they are Road Humps and I should have always called them that. Sleeping policemen is a common term like pavement*, for Footway (USA Sidewalk).

Over to you ActingUp for the colloqual term for 'vertical traffic calming features' in Australia.

*All roads are now paved but when Footways gained legal status as where vehicles and livestock were prohibited, they were the only part of the Public Highway that was paved.

 

[AlexFourways]

Ass meaning arse still trips me up when reading US stories, even after many years! What’s you preferred middle class term - bottom? I’m tending towards that or bum in Australian middle class English.

I wouldn't use bum without prior notice as in the States it means a tramp (as is bumming around). Similarly fag isn't a cigarette, but a gay male. I used bottom for 1970's English Middle Class. Otherwise I use ass as arse is used mostly in a non-friendly way - 'Shift your arse!' = Move it!

Back on the thread, I do appreciate receiving speed hump comments. I had a few on my first story that really helped a course correction,

As I said, happy to help if you with any English vocabulary should your story stray this way, with an eye to our North American cousins. GB Shaw said "two countries separated by the same language" but actually we are several.

Sorry!

 

[Actingup]

I wouldn't use bum without prior notice as in the States it means a tramp (as is bumming around). Similarly fag isn't a cigarette, but a gay male. I used bottom for 1970's English Middle Class. Otherwise I use ass as arse is used mostly in a non-friendly way - 'Shift your arse!' = Move it!

As I said, happy to help if you with any English vocabulary should your story stray this way, with an eye to our North American cousins. GB Shaw said "two countries separated by the same language" but actually we are several.

Sorry!

Bugger! I've used 'bum' (and 'arse' in a friendly way) a few times in my Australian stories, but I'll stand by it. And I'm happy to call somebody a bastard in a story (friendly greeting here), but never a fag. And we don't say 'fanny' usually for either end, but I used to live near 'Fannie Bay'.

This one is actually a little bit obscure. In North America we call them speed bumps. Then I heard that in the UK they call them sleeping policemen, which I thought was cute. I had a co-worker from South Africa and asked him, he said that they were definitely speed humps. He had never heard of speed bumps nor sleeping policemen. I think that the UK does in fact use speed humps, but just occasionally sleeping policemen.

What say you, Australia?

Actually, as a retired British Highway Engineer, I must slap my wrist. In UK legislation they are Road Humps and I should have always called them that. Sleeping policemen is a common term like pavement*, for Footway (USA Sidewalk).

Over to you ActingUp for the colloqual term for 'vertical traffic calming features' in Australia.

*All roads are now paved but when Footways gained legal status as where vehicles and livestock were prohibited, they were the only part of the Public Highway that was paved.

I consulted an Australian manufacter's site ( https://www.speedhumpsaustralia.com.au/). They say (drum roll):

"The terms “speed bumps” and “speed humps” are often used interchangeably, but they refer to two different things. Speed bumps are designed to be more forceful, being raised higher and usually shorter in width. Typically found in parking lots or private roads, their purpose is to forcefully reduce the speed of vehicles. However, they can be quite jarring if a car hits them too quickly.

On the other hand, speed humps are primarily used for slowing down traffic. They are not as high as speed bumps, allowing vehicles to pass over them at a lower speed with ease. These humps are commonly employed in school zones and residential areas to promote safer driving.

While both speed bumps and speed humps serve different purposes, their goal is quite similar – to prevent road accidents and encourage safe driving practices."

I think that this definition actually fits the conversation really well. A speed hump is less of a problem than a speed bump for a reader. We might decide to embrace one, but avoid the other.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Interesting. Here in Canada there are no such things as speed humps, only speed bumps.

 

[yowser]

While driving in unfamiliar territory last year (Pennsylvania, USA) I encountered signs for 'speed tables' which were extended 'bumps' or 'humps' (obviously international variations in terminology.) US DOT explains its position (with costs) on it all.

 

[AlexFourways]

While driving in unfamiliar territory last year (Pennsylvania, USA) I encountered signs for 'speed tables' which were extended 'bumps' or 'humps' (obviously international variations in terminology.) US DOT explains its position (with costs) on it all.

We (UK) have speed tables, but legally they are still Road Humps and are signed the same, as are Speed Cushions. These are Road Humps that are only 1.4 to 2.0 m wide so that large vehicles (principally buses) can straddle them with less discomfort. So you have to have 2 or more across the road. Trouble is large SUVs (aka Chelsea Tractors*) can also straddle them. That said, as drivers have to line up they reduce speed, to an extent. All officially Road Humps!

Enough now... Or do we need a thread on Vocablualry that divides English Speakers UK / USA / CAN / AU / NZ / SA?

Not sure how to create it but could share tips and queries.

*Why does a city dweller need an off road vehicle? So they can part on the footway/pavement/sidewalk as that is off road!

 

[WeShallUnclench]

As someone very much not from any English-speaking country, I kinda find those discussions of "language barriers" between say Australians and Americans hilarious. It's all just "English" to me, with some synonyms I am either more or less familiar with.

Don't know how much I piss anglos off with this, but I stubbornly write in my own english where I use whatever word I like most no matter where it's from. That extends to spelling - I will for instance always spell it "colour" and "armor" because it looks prettier and more logical to me that way, respectively.

It helps that none of my stories are canonically set in a real world country. Even if everything functions 100% like our world and time period, and feels very familiar (people work in offices and have grandparents who fought "in the war", etc), it's always some sort of fictional setting with its own history and cultures, and I think of their languages as something that either evolved as its own variety of (pseudo-)English, or just me translating their fictional language into my English.

 

[StillStunned]

I think of their languages as something that either evolved as its own variety of (pseudo-)English

Which is essentially what's happened around the world in real life anyway. English is the ultimate virus among languages, constantly evolving and adapting to each new host. (Is that what viruses do? I have no idea about biology, I just like the analogy.)

 

[WeShallUnclench]

Anyway, I found there is one type of comment I absolutely loathe even though it's arguably very constructive (and I arguably deserve it):

People who try to "beat" my story by finding the loopholes. Treating it as a sort of escape room - "If I was in that situation I would do [X]."

I see the value in it, as much as I hate it, because yeah I would like my stories to make logical sense, certainly I don't want characters so stupid and contradictory it pulls readers out of it.

But at the same time, there is a degree of "airtight" I feel I don't owe you? I don't approach life as a puzzle to be solved, and certainly not my kink writing.
Yeah, I agree, now that you mention it, I guess that guy had other options than just letting himself be tied up and used as a living lawn chair. But I am really, really fine with him unable or unwilling to think of those options. Just go with the flow, dude.

I dunno. I guess I appreciate the opportunity to learn how to write smarter stories. But I often feel comments like that border on just missing the point.

 

[AlexFourways]

Which is essentially what's happened around the world in real life anyway. English is the ultimate virus among languages, constantly evolving and adapting to each new host. (Is that what viruses do? I have no idea about biology, I just like the analogy.)

Speaking as an Engineer (not mechanic and with my definition of one as a scientist with poor maths). That is a good analogy. Viruses not only evolve like that, but steal genes from the host for its own purposes. When they could analyse small pox they found a large part of the code was for human DNA, particularly the immune system's to aid it's hiding from the same.

As someone very much not from any English-speaking country, I kinda find those discussions of "language barriers" between say Australians and Americans hilarious. It's all just "English" to me, with some synonyms I am either more or less familiar with.

Don't worry about random spelling, English can take it, it's the pedant's that can't. In Canada both (as an example) colour and color are correct spellings! (I like your idea of the spelling that looks beautiful as a non-phonetic language it could do with it. But it ain't going to change.)
I sometimes put in a few word differences in my "In case any one wonders..." partly to prevent silly comments and partly for fun!
I came across a 'ditty' on Quora that went:-
English posh school boys used to say:-
Latin is a dead language: As dead as dead can be: First it killed the Romans: Now it's killing me!
Their modern version:-
English is a rouge language: As free as free can be: They say you can't make stuff up: But that's not stopping me!

YMMV
Do we need a thread on this?! Someone?! (note ?! is now recognised <by some> as an interrobang.

 

[TheLobster]

Don't worry about random spelling, English can take it, it's the pedant's that can't

I see what you did hear.

 

[AlexFourways]

I see what you did hear.

Sorry, lost me, but here here! . [For clarity it's 'hear hear' as in listen to her/him.]
I thought I had a spillng era but my browser doesn't have a smelling chequer, or a grandma chucker so my partial dyslexia can trip me up. However, you cant frust AI until it can correct "Getting the grill from school." or "Getting the chops from under the girl." which are only wrong, or right, in context, though the second sounds very odd!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

But at the same time, there is a degree of "airtight" I feel I don't owe you? I don't approach life as a puzzle to be solved, and certainly not my kink writing.
Yeah, I agree, now that you mention it, I guess that guy had other options than just letting himself be tied up and used as a living lawn chair. But I am really, really fine with him unable or unwilling to think of those options. Just go with the flow, dude.

I suppose that there is a bit of a difference between ...

"When character X did Y the plot lost plausibility with me. It didn't make sense and took me out of the moment."

... and ...

"Character X would never do that. That's wrong."

... but it's no big deal to me.

 

[Voboy]

It's exceedingly rare for me to get any kind of comments at all. So anything that comes in is what I'd like to receive, lol.

I did discover a kind I'd like NOT to receive, and I've commented on it before (and named the commenter) in other threads: the kind that long-windedly explains that although this is a great story, it could have been so much more if you'd just done THIS and THIS and THIS, then compares my characterizations to Gabriel Garcia Marquez'.

Like, dude? Write your own, if you're so full of ideas.

 

[WhiteTailDarkTip]

Useful ones! I like it when people say they like what I've done but I always ask for constructive criticism. Was it too long, too short? @Purplefizz has been one of my best, encouragement when I've needed it and useful observations on the plot and events therein. @THBGato & @Erozetta have been terrific, encouraging me both when I was starting to wonder if I was any good at all, and then when I needed prodding into action. I wish I had a few more like them.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Useful ones! I like it when people say they like what I've done but I always ask for constructive criticism. Was it too long, too short? @Purplefizz has been one of my best, encouragement when I've needed it and useful observations on the plot and events therein. @THBGato & @Erozetta have been terrific, encouraging me both when I was starting to wonder if I was any good at all, and then when I needed prodding into action. I wish I had a few more like them.

I don't care about the encouragement or anything like that. I mean I certainly appreciate kind words but that won't give me much to help me take the next steps in my game. I want to know if the reader cared about my characters (enough). I want to know if my happy scenes made them feel warm, did my sad scenes make them cry or feel empty, did my sex scenes get them hot and how much. Did my plot make sense? Were my action scenes energetic and move quickly and did my emotive scenes take the time that they needed without bogging down? Was my detail and dialogue immersive? Was there a genuine sense of place?

How did it read and what kind of experience did you have? That kind of feedback is pure gold.

 

[Bazzle]

This one is actually a little bit obscure. In North America we call them speed bumps. Then I heard that in the UK they call them sleeping policemen, which I thought was cute. I had a co-worker from South Africa and asked him, he said that they were definitely speed humps. He had never heard of speed bumps nor sleeping policemen. I think that the UK does in fact use speed humps, but just occasionally sleeping policemen.

What say you, Australia?

They used to be called sleeping policeman... now we just see signs for "humps" everywhere now.

 

[StillStunned]

They used to be called sleeping policeman... now we just see signs for "humps" everywhere now.

Personally, I like to sleep after humping, but policemen always do things differently.

 

[WhiteTailDarkTip]

I don't care about the encouragement or anything like that. I mean I certainly appreciate kind words but that won't give me much to help me take the next steps in my game. I want to know if the reader cared about my characters (enough). I want to know if my happy scenes made them feel warm, did my sad scenes make them cry or feel empty, did my sex scenes get them hot and how much. Did my plot make sense? Were my action scenes energetic and move quickly and did my emotive scenes take the time that they needed without bogging down? Was my detail and dialogue immersive? Was there a genuine sense of place?

How did it read and what kind of experience did you have? That kind of feedback is pure gold.

I get that and yet it's stil nice to get encouragement from writers I respect. The occasional comment that delivers the kind of thing to which you refer are very rare but treasured nonetheless

 

[WhiteTailDarkTip]

Personally, I like to sleep after humping, but policemen always do things differently.

He's here all week, folks. Tip your waitresses

 

[StillStunned]

He's here all week, folks. Tip your waitresses

Or just tip me. I could use the money.

 

[Bazzle]

Or just tip me. I could use the money.

I think the tip I would be given would be "Bazzle turn the laptop off"

 

[Candy_Kane54]

To answer the OP's question, the best comments are dead presidents and founding fathers ...