WTF?! You're 14! Let it go for a couple years, alright?

[Guest]

Now it's all hip hugging jeans (WHAT hips??) and baby tees. I feel like childhood in general is getting dumped by the wayside in the name of "hipness" or something..

I hate to say this...My 8 year old is wearing a bra, as I was at 8. She is also almost 5 feet tall. The kid already gets attention from the 10-12 year old boys in her activity center. In fact, she and I had a mini-talk tonight about this. Some of the boys were making comments about her and a few other girls' bodies. Kids grow up faster. (Personally I blame Britney, lol) They are innudated with music, tv, movies, and so on. Even the kids movies...I was watching Aladdin tonight...Ya'll notice Jasmine isnt wearing much? Ok, I am getting off topic. My point is that kids are developing at younger and younger ages, and as parents, its our job to keep our eyes on it.

Dancer

(no, this is not aimed at anyone in particular)

I am going to say something egregiously rational here...ergo it will piss off a lot of people ..
Go to your local college, walk into the bookstore, pick up and purchase a text on adolescent psych, make sure it has a section on "secular trend", read it, then re-examine how you are looking at this subject.
The early developement is something we are stuck with... Along with all the things that go with that developement. - You really probably don't want to pay the price it would cost to reverse this...
But... Teens, like any other group are made up of individuals.. Which is why some will be more interested in sex...And some will be arguing D&D stats (in lieu of) till they are in college.
Does this change my personal thoughts on some of this..Nope.. I am a father...I have two daughters. Which to an extent means my rationality can be (like any parents) purely situational.
And if you are 28 and I catch you talking to my 14 year old about sex..You might get to meet Mr. Sadist.

 

[serijules]

I can understand why you would be uncomfortable with those who are under the legal age limit, but I think it's unfair to stereotype everyone who's under 21 as not yet an adult. I'm 20, and I'll admit I have my moments of immaturity, but I AM an adult. I have the bills and hassles to prove it, haha. (Sidenote: do not ever to go to Firestone if you need work done on your car. I was there for over three hours before they even remembered my car, and then they screwed up no less than three times...oi. Sidenote ended.)

Maturity is not a factor of age. Just keep that in mind before you write off all 18-20 year olds

I meant (as I said) in regards to sexual conversation/interaction. I'm not comfortable talking about sex with someone that isn't old enough to legally drink yet. Has nothing to do with maturity really. I was married, owned a business and a house when I was 20, so sure, I was "mature" but I don't really feel I became an adult and matured sexually until I was over 21. I feel the same way about others in that age bracket because I've never met anyone in that age bracket that has made me feel otherwise, that's all. *shrugs* It's no different than a lot of the young people here that say they can't imagine someone their mother's age being into BDSM...something I've heard many of the 18-20 year olds around here say at one time or another.

People like to think age doesn't matter, but in a lot of ways...it really does.

edited to add....sidenote...getting married at 20 is ill advised. I wish I had been mature enough then to understand that.

 

[chris9]

I'm not comfortable talking about sex with someone that isn't old enough to legally drink yet.

16?

 

[serijules]

16?

I don't agree with that age limit, and since it isn't the age limit in my country, I'm not even gonna go there.

16 year olds drinking goes right along with 14 year olds having sex in my book.

I'm a fan of growing up slowly, what can I say. People are in too much of a hurry to be mature adults long before they are really mature adults.

 

[O'Mac]

Maturity is not a factor of age. Just keep that in mind before you write off all 18-20 year olds

I agree, and my point is that the more mature teens are the ones taking things slowly. They're the ones concentrating on their grades and looking towards university.

sidenote...getting married at 20 is ill advised. I wish I had been mature enough then to understand that.

I'm 25 right now, and I can honestly say I've wanted to settle down and start a family since I was 20. Though, that's more of an indication of my personality as a person with an elevated interest in personal security and stability.

 

[serijules]

I'm 25 right now, and I can honestly say I've wanted to settle down and start a family since I was 20. Though, that's more of an indication of my personality as a person with an elevated interest in personal security and stability.

I've wanted to have a baby since I can remember...strongly since I was 17. I'm 27...and I still don't think I'm ready. Wanting something and being ready for it is not the same thing for me and I've learned to wait until I'm ready for the things I want. I made that mistake once already as far as getting married...not gonna do it again.

 

[leanoir]

I agree, and my point is that the more mature teens are the ones taking things slowly. They're the ones concentrating on their grades and looking towards university.

O'Mac, I'm at an incredibly difficult private university with a 3.5 GPA, a job, and a long term boyfriend. I consider us to have a healthy sexual relationship, in which we like to explore different aspects of our sexuality. I know that a lot of people my age are not mature, but many of us are. No, I'm not ready to get married, and I'm sure I probably have a lot of growing up to do. That doesn't mean I don't know who I am, and what my potential is. If I'm the same person in ten years that I am today, I think I'll be happy with how my life has turned out.

 

[Private_Label]

Sometimes I just have to wonder about the world that I live in.
...What the hell is going on with our children these days? ...

... All this "sexual liberation" is good and all as a general concept, but in this case it only helps add to the growing problems of teen pregency, AIDS/HIV, and other sexually related diseases and disorders.

Am I just being a prude here or does anyone else agree?

With the internet, even if they are not sexually active in RL, they can still find a lot of sexual content that they would have had a more difficult time getting into 30 years ago - Daddy's Playboy Magazines are no longer the only source of information. Good lord, if my mom knew about half the sexual stuff I read fin Sci-Fi Anthology books, she would have torn up my library card, and forbidden me from ever entering a library again. Heck even my High School Library had Star Trek novels, and they had a few implied sex scenes in them. You have to ask, do these people ever read the books they stack on the shelves? And that was just stuff that wasn't primarily sexually oriented.

B/

Kids being curious will push their limits with adults - unfortunately there are adults out there that will not tell them "No." I have to wonder where the kids parents are too. Too many parents use the COmputer as a "babysitter," much like TV was used as one when I was growing up (and the daytime soaps are even more graphic now than they were back then).

My personal opinion is that it is not a Kid issue, but an issue of parents not paying attention to what the kids are doing. Look, I know they can't look over their shoulders 24/7, but heck, just check the damn history every day to see where the kid is going. If the history is cleaned out before you have a chance to see it, it is time to do some talking with the kid about boundaries.

I grew up in a single parent family, my mother worked full time. But my brother and I both knew what the boundaries were in our home. I broke at least a few of them with the sci-fi books. I am certain that if my mother had read at least some of them, we would have had a number of discussion on what was appropriate and what was not.

 

[Private_Label]

As likely as not, the 14 year old was a 44 year old male cop trying to catch a pedophile. My advice is (and I have doen this several times) that when an underage person contacts Me, I tell them they should be careful and not try to contact older men on the internet regarding sex as it could be very dangerous.

Yep. I was in a RP chat room and was PMed by a guy who asked about my breasts. Oh did I read him the riot act - 1. that I was older and could get arrested for having that sort of conversation with him. 2. That there are Pervs out there who could and would hunt him down for fun that could damage him.

I told him to not proposition anyone he had never met in person because he can't tell who they really without it.

*edit*
Oh, and on the age of puberty thing...
In the 70's I went through puberty when I was 11 - I was considered young, the average age at that time was 14. By the start of this decade, the "average" age is now 9. If the early developers out there are starting as far ahead as I did, that means some girls are hitting puberty at 6 or 7.

Now, why do people still put up a huge fuss when the discussion turns to Sex-Ed in schools? Half the parents who don't want it, are too embarrassed to talk to their kids about it. And with all the nasties out there now on top of the ones that were around 30 years ago, kids really need someone to have a frank discussion about what to expect from physical and emotional responses and how that may change their thought on that something they don't want to suddenly becomes something they do want. Chastity pledges are all well and good, but when you get kissed, I mean really kissed for the first time, and things start progressing, it can be difficult to put the brakes on, even if you know they should. They will experiment - I'd rather see them experimenting safely with information, than experimenting blind because adults are too embarrassed to talk to them.

 

[O'Mac]

In the 70's I went through puberty when I was 11 - I was considered young, the average age at that time was 14. By the start of this decade, the "average" age is now 9. If the early developers out there are starting as far ahead as I did, that means some girls are hitting puberty at 6 or 7.

I believe I've read something along those lines as well recently. It's causing a bit of a debate, because biologists and psychologists are no longer totally sure what does jump-start puberty. Before, it was widely assumed that a natural clock was counting down and was regulated or held in check by natural occuring hormones and glandular excretions. Now, the talk is that it's more subconsciously controlled. Makes quite a bit of sense when you think of it. 6-7 year old sees sex on TV, in the movies, in magazines, etc. Mentally, her brain figures out that maybe she should be joining in on this whole crazy reproductive thing, and before you know it, she's getting her first period.

Now, why do people still put up a huge fuss when the discussion turns to Sex-Ed in schools? Half the parents who don't want it, are too embarrassed to talk to their kids about it. And with all the nasties out there now on top of the ones that were around 30 years ago, kids really need someone to have a frank discussion about what to expect from physical and emotional responses and how that may change their thought on that something they don't want to suddenly becomes something they do want. Chastity pledges are all well and good, but when you get kissed, I mean really kissed for the first time, and things start progressing, it can be difficult to put the brakes on, even if you know they should. They will experiment - I'd rather see them experimenting safely with information, than experimenting blind because adults are too embarrassed to talk to them.

I couldn't agree more! If parents are so reluctant or ill-educated themselves as to how to teach proper sex education with their kids, then the schools have no alternative but to prepare them for the choices and consequences of being sexually active.

 

[Netzach]

I believe I've read something along those lines as well recently. It's causing a bit of a debate, because biologists and psychologists are no longer totally sure what does jump-start puberty. Before, it was widely assumed that a natural clock was counting down and was regulated or held in check by natural occuring hormones and glandular excretions. Now, the talk is that it's more subconsciously controlled. Makes quite a bit of sense when you think of it. 6-7 year old sees sex on TV, in the movies, in magazines, etc. Mentally, her brain figures out that maybe she should be joining in on this whole crazy reproductive thing, and before you know it, she's getting her first period.



I couldn't agree more! If parents are so reluctant or ill-educated themselves as to how to teach proper sex education with their kids, then the schools have no alternative but to prepare them for the choices and consequences of being sexually active.

When you think of all the hormones and engineering that's going in our food in the last 30 years that wasn't there before, I think there's a much more plausible explanation than psychologically produced menarche.

 

[O'Mac]

When you think of all the hormones and engineering that's going in our food in the last 30 years that wasn't there before, I think there's a much more plausible explanation than psychologically produced menarche.

Actually, that was a point I did want to bring up as well but completely lost what I was going to say as I was writing. Yes, it would seem perfectly plausible that as more and more hormones and artificials additives enter our children at increasingly younger ages, that may also play a vital role in how they develop sexually.