Yet another new author!

[AwkwardMD]

See, that doesn't sound like a stroker to me. That just sounds like a short story.

I think we're tripping on definitions.

 

[lexloci]

Hmm, I can see that things are moving on here!

I guess I should say at this point that my intention with this piece was to see if I could successfully describe a sexual encounter between two people as that is not something I have done much of in the past. So I chose what I considered to be a very 'pre built' situation of two people working in an office.

As pointed out there is no build up from a character point of view of how we got to this day where things actually happen. I can not argue with that. I was, as stated, just taking it as a jumping off point that the majority of people could probably understand so I could move into the erotic encounters.

Perhaps this was a mistake. Or at lest asking for a critic of such a shallow piece was a mistake. I was just curious as to if I had the ability to make pursuing this further worthwhile.

Something for me to mull over, and I do hope no-one feels I have wasted their time.

Lex.

 

[8letters]

Hmm, I can see that things are moving on here!

I guess I should say at this point that my intention with this piece was to see if I could successfully describe a sexual encounter between two people as that is not something I have done much of in the past. So I chose what I considered to be a very 'pre built' situation of two people working in an office.

As pointed out there is no build up from a character point of view of how we got to this day where things actually happen. I can not argue with that. I was, as stated, just taking it as a jumping off point that the majority of people could probably understand so I could move into the erotic encounters.

Perhaps this was a mistake. Or at lest asking for a critic of such a shallow piece was a mistake. I was just curious as to if I had the ability to make pursuing this further worthwhile.

Something for me to mull over, and I do hope no-one feels I have wasted their time.

This gets into the much larger question of what makes a story a successful story. If you are happy with the response you got, then it was a successful story. Some people will say, "Write what you want" and there is something to that. But I say contra to that that writing stories that get a strong positive reaction makes the writing experience much more enjoyable. I write incest stories and some people look down on that, but I'm like "that's were the views, comments and likes are on this site."

Most important thing is to enjoy the writing experience. I'm trying to help you have a more enjoyable writing experience and so other the people who have replied to this thread. Don't get confused that we disagree on what people should be do to have the most enjoyable writing experience.

Edit: The advice from all of us is going to boil down to "Write like me!" But none of us write like each other.

 

[HectorBidon]

One sentence-worth of praise might make this author feel good for a minute, but it is paltry in the larger sense. . . . all that needless defense of the simplistic stroker.

We'll just have to agree to disagree. I liked the story, found it engaging, witty, closely observed. I think the author has some talent and will do well (and have fun) here, whether he tries his hand at deeper characterization or not.

I do hope no-one feels I have wasted their time.

Are you kidding? Nothing us commenters like better than having an opportunity to hear ourselves talk.

Want to split an order of baja fish tacos?

 

[lexloci]

Want to split an order of baja fish tacos?

But seriously thanks all for the input. It's all progress for me.

 

[lexloci]

Most important thing is to enjoy the writing experience. I'm trying to help you have a more enjoyable writing experience and so other the people who have replied to this thread. Don't get confused that we disagree on what people should be do to have the most enjoyable writing experience.

Edit: The advice from all of us is going to boil down to "Write like me!" But none of us write like each other.

Indeed, indeed.

 

[8letters]

See, that doesn't sound like a stroker to me. That just sounds like a short story.

I think we're tripping on definitions.

To me, a stroker has very little on getting the people to mutually consent to have sex and is mostly about the sex. And because mutual consent happens almost instantly, the characters tend to be shallow and the attraction between them based on purely physical characteristics. A classic incest stroker is the mom/sister/aunt/daughter walks in on the son/brother/nephew/dad masturbating; says "What a big, beautiful cock. I've got to have it."; and then they start having sex.

There are a lot of strokers out there, I've enjoyed a lot of strokers, but writing one has very little appeal to me as I like more plot and characters to be more filled out.

 

[KindofHere]

..............

 

[8letters]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Originally Posted by 8letters
There are a lot of strokers out there, I've enjoyed a lot of strokers, but writing one has very little appeal to me as I like more plot and characters to be more filled out.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Why not do both? Plenty of story, plenty of stroke.

In my stories, the bulk of the story is about building up the sexual tension between the two main characters leading to a climactic sex scene. However, "My European Summer Vacation" has five sex scenes spaced out over ten pages and I'm working on a story that has a lot of sex throughout.

 

[hadruprider]

It's very good (and I am usually quite critical). The foot fetishism makes it a bit different from the usual, but it is not excessive and doesn't spoil it for the reader who is not into that. I like the sectioning and the paragraphing. There are relatively few mistakes. I agree with one of the earlier comments that you use the names too much. You can just use he and she most of the time.

It deserves its high rating IMHO.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Perhaps this was a mistake. Or at lest asking for a critic of such a shallow piece was a mistake. I was just curious as to if I had the ability to make pursuing this further worthwhile.

Something for me to mull over, and I do hope no-one feels I have wasted their time.

You triggered a pretty spirited discussion, which on the whole is rare around here, so that's A Good Thing. Don't worry about people's time - if we didn't all want to weigh in, we wouldn't.

What you've got here is a gaggle of opinion from a bunch of jokers who won't be gagged, but probably should be. Pay attention to no-one and pay attention to all, and you'll be fine. There will, I'm sure, be a unanimous chorus, "keep on writing and you will get better."

And now, we've all got to work on MD to get those 400k words worth of plotless vignettes submitted. Sometimes honey is tasty just on the tip of a finger, it doesn't always need toast.

 

[lexloci]

It's very good (and I am usually quite critical). The foot fetishism makes it a bit different from the usual, but it is not excessive and doesn't spoil it for the reader who is not into that. I like the sectioning and the paragraphing. There are relatively few mistakes. I agree with one of the earlier comments that you use the names too much. You can just use he and she most of the time.

It deserves its high rating IMHO.

Thank you. Most kind. Yeah I think the name thing came about from my witting process with this. Was a rather disjointed affair, so I was probably more reminding myself of the names as I wrote. Something for me to keep an eye on in the future!

 

[lexloci]

You triggered a pretty spirited discussion, which on the whole is rare around here, so that's A Good Thing. Don't worry about people's time - if we didn't all want to weigh in, we wouldn't.

What you've got here is a gaggle of opinion from a bunch of jokers who won't be gagged, but probably should be. Pay attention to no-one and pay attention to all, and you'll be fine. There will, I'm sure, be a unanimous chorus, "keep on writing and you will get better."

And now, we've all got to work on MD to get those 400k words worth of plotless vignettes submitted. Sometimes honey is tasty just on the tip of a finger, it doesn't always need toast.

A good discussion is indeed always entertaining. And if we're lucky educational. I'm glad to have at least achieved that much

 

[AwkwardMD]

And now, we've all got to work on MD to get those 400k words worth of plotless vignettes submitted. Sometimes honey is tasty just on the tip of a finger, it doesn't always need toast.

It is all wildly inappropriate for Literotica and super personal (real names). There's zero chance it'll appear anywhere.

 

[ElectricBlue]

It is all wildly inappropriate for Literotica and super personal (real names). There's zero chance it'll appear anywhere.

No worries MD, just teasing. That's a lot of sweet memories/fantasies for your dotage .