Your first submissive

[Netzach]

Chances are I told myself what your holding back already anyways. I feel like a terrible judge in character. I probably am. Live and learn.

You really don't have to hold back. It's kind of you, but for one, I'm a big boy. And then, this is just the internet. If I couldn't take criticism from strangers, how would I ever be able to take it from people I know? I'm also pretty much feeling like myself again anyways. I wrote for several hours last night, poured my mood into that. Considering what came out of that it hasn't all been for nothing.

(BTW, I'm still interested in hearing other peoples' stories about their first encounters. Again, hopefully some that went well.)

The dude I was with was sort of a dick, in that he was lying to me on a lot of levels, but I knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere or end well on some level. I really wanted the experience though, so I gave myself over and said "ok, for two days I will myself to just be swept up in the elegant BS."

I'm glad I did, honestly. I didn't know what to do with him much, but I figured out that I like men naked in collars while I'm embracing them from behind with my coat still on. I tied him up, put him in the headspace that makes a person's pupils dilate and their answers to questions get terse and dumb. I tied him down. It was great.

I learned a lot about what I like. I let him top me the second half of it, he was a clever bastard, knew how to make a situation humiliating in a delicious way, not in a stupid way. I experienced the feeling of exploitation mixed with secrecy that good public naughtiness delivers - I was like "damn, THIS is how he wanted to feel last night."

I think I learned more from him about how to play the instrument of another person by letting him pluck mine. He's part of the reason I *still* advocate bottoming if you want to know how to top.

So it wasn't ideal in a lot of ways - playing with a romantic bullshit artist. But I like art enough that I consider it a good first.

 

[intothewoods]

There are people out there that thrive on emotional manipulation and their own never-ending descent into madness. It sucks, to say the least, but getting burned means you'll probably have your guard up better next time. I know that's how it was for me.

 

[Keroin]

Praefect, I'm so sorry to hear about your unfortunate first. Netz is correct, that is not how they're supposed to go. (I also had some misgivings when I read your initial posts).

My first time with the now infamous Chuck left me with a smile that years and miles have yet to erase.

My first time happened after an extended courtship. We knew each other but we didn't know each other.

To me, there's something painfully beautiful about a relationship that moves at the speed of a sloth.