Your orgasm is not my problem.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

sadly for the fence - it appeared you enjoyed it... and it is now well and truly rusted through

If I was to accept a grain of truth about your continual self validity statements of education, qualifications and ancient life long experiences in pursuit and conquest - yet appearing not to have life partner (surprising? not) then I am going to offer a suggestion... As the premise of How To... is that people ask questions concerning sexuality or indeed about anything and that a discussion forum may give some positive feedback and or guidance - oh fuck it -why are you so bloody negative about everything. To be honest you come across as a miserable bore - and of course that is what you play on... but really get over it...

Why am I even bothering? I am giving you the benefit of a lot of collective doubt... offer constructive and positive suggestions... and please - please stop trying to validate your responses with "I recall" - "During my time as a nuclear physicist..."

I actually believe there is a real person there somewhere - please let him come to the fore.

From where I sit you come across as the Divine Commander of the Universe, all knowing and more righteous than right. And I dont much care to be OK with you. There's nuthin in it for me if I am OK with you. I have a hunch you dont handout many prizes to good boys. I got no problem being boring and eating my oatmeal.

As for the other: IF YOU GOT IT FLAUNT IT.

The whole point to Jesus is, IF THEY NAIL GOD TO A CROSS, WHAT CHANCE HAVE I GOT AT PLEASING THE NIGHTS OF THE WORLD!

And take a gander at my bumper sticker below.

 

[NightL]

There's nuthin in it for me if I am OK with you.

So totally true - but what can you offer others? This is the How To... and so obviously not the General Board. What do you actually have to offer?

Again, I suspect you can - so prove it or go back to the General Board. Negativity is apparently a competitive sport there, but offers no arousal here.
So... were you so weak in that competitive sport at GB that you thought you would try it where you thought there would be no competition?

As one person - I am asking you to change your approach - offer your knowledge, experience and skills to offer hope - improve the lives of others with positive or constructive suggestions. All we are observing from you is me me me.

You so know I am not the sole person concerned with your negativity.

And take a gander at my bumper sticker below.

Saggy balls have no appeal - well it deserved that response - really

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So totally true - but what can you offer others? This is the How To... and so obviously not the General Board. What do you actually have to offer?

Again, I suspect you can - so prove it or go back to the General Board. Negativity is apparently a competitive sport there, but offers no arousal here.
So... were you so weak in that competitive sport at GB that you thought you would try it where you thought there would be no competition?

As one person - I am asking you to change your approach - offer your knowledge, experience and skills to offer hope - improve the lives of others with positive or constructive suggestions. All we are observing from you is me me me.

You so know I am not the sole person concerned with your negativity.




Saggy balls have no appeal - well it deserved that response - really

I invite you to ignore my posts and seek your fun with others. I wont reply again.

 

[NightL]

Actually I had you on ignore fairly much from the time you arrived. With your insistence of me me me negativity you were being quoted - a lot. I chose to comment - I felt it only fair to view your responses... hmmm

Are you to be viewed as the troll seeking masturbatory fodder for your negativity and preying on vulnerable people (yes this is the How To...) or will you be respected for offering genuine insights and constructive suggestions?

...your call

 

[bailadora]

*Ahem* Getting back on topic......(please ya'll, I like this thread. I don't wanna see it go poof, like a few others have in the last couple of days).

Ha. I guess I've just been married too long to think in terms of amateur pic banter

You're not the only one. Isana's post put a totally different spin on it, didn't it? Thanks, Isana!

But I have to say I absolutely hate the notion that anybody is on this board to serve as someone's personal, little living, breathing, sex doll. Grrrrr.... drives me crazy!

I hear you and I think the most relevant thing Query talks about is the issue about emotional connection, which leads me to say I think it's a unrealistic to pm a stranger on Lit and expect them to roll over and provide you a sexual favor after one pm or even 30 minutes of conversation when you have no idea who is on the other end.

It's not just on AM Pics. There are some men on Lit who think that by virtue of her presence, any woman who participates here has consented to provide wank fodder for any and all who demand it. And get downright hostile when told to piss off. In that sense, I totally agree with "your orgasm is not my problem."

But some men you just can't be subtle with - hence the PM asshat threads.

 

[1Browneyedguy]

BACK to the question

"Your orgasm is not my problem" being said to ones' lover/ mate... HE should please her and
vice-a-versa....

It is love... isn't it??? Not war. Not a race.

LOVE is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. Sexual passion or desire.

 

[bailadora]

Query:

I've more I want to say, but my time on Lit today is limited...real life and all that jazz.

But...I do want to thank you for starting this thread on the HT. It was intelligent discussions such as these that first drew me to this subforum and what kept me coming back. In absence of penile tissue, let's just say I get a mental hard-on from them.

ETA: I'm swiping the title of this thread and putting it in my sig line!

 

[Isana]

ETA: I'm swiping the title of this thread and putting it in my sig line!

Oh, now that is an idea! I haven't had any rude PMs so far (thank you, gents), but this might be an option for the others who are often harassed.

 

[Emerson40]

I think the comment alluded to in the OP, the one by the viewer of the photos, and others like it are becoming more common. I think it has to do with a shift that is happening in the way people interact with each other, and quite possibly related to the "me-me-me" attitudes and instant gratification ideals that many are adopting.

As far as interaction goes, I think more and more there is a disconnect between people. Though I suspect comments like "now, finish me off" are going to be more common in the realm of chat rooms and message boards, where anonymity and the lack of "human touch" are prevalent, there are probably more and more couples / partners who make statements like this to each other everyday. Sad, really.

As for the comment about what's in it for her should she finish him off... nothing. But then she is not even a blip on the photo-viewer's radar. For him, it's all about him. Me, me, me. Easy to comprehend when considering these are two strangers who happened across each other while involved in their individual pursuits.

It is not so easy to get one's head around it when it is two people involved in an intimate relationship where, as stated in the OP, most people take pleasure in providing the happy ending for their partner.

A quick observational side note: Not only do I think you are seeing more and more of these selfish attitudes given the ease, anonymity, and speed of the internet, I think there has been an increase in the expectations of those "out for themselves", and an ugliness and hatred displayed towards anyone who does not comply with their demands. Just ask any of the ladies here on Lit who did not respond to an unsolicited PM, or reply in a fashion not satisfactory for the original (Asshat) sender. In some cases they have received additional unsolicited messages full of rudeness, calling them names, and intended to hurt.

Orgasms are indeed personal things, as stated. I think achieving them, and even the intensity or quality of them are greater when there is that intimate connection with the other. That is not to say that orgasmic attainment of one is the problem of the other, just that it is less likely to be a problem with intimacy and a connection between the two.

As far as orgasms via solo efforts go... In the vernacular of the Me-me-mers - "Talk to the hand."

 

[talikat]

Eh... The thread title sounded clever to me but it's actually going to be a long ways to get to the punch line.

I was considering starting a thread titled something to the effect of "Things guys shouldn't say"....the above thread title however guys in certain circumstances perhaps should say.

The impetus of my post was a guy who was trying to be enthusiastic about someone else's pictures and he said, "You got me all worked up- now finish me off!"


It struck me as an especially dumb thing to say.

Assuming she does finish him off, what's in it for her? He rolls over go to sleep.

Now of course I realize a lot of people take pleasure in providing a happy ending for their partner.

For me that is the point of most sexual activity engage in. Getting better for me but I'm still somewhat an orgasmic it's difficult for me to get off if I'm not fairly connected to the person..

That said, if some girl said that to me I WOULD actually say "your orgasm is not my problem."

Because seriously, orgasms start inside your brain and that's your domain. I can nuture the environment in which you, your body and your brain might decide to have an orgasm.

I can provide sundry form of external stimuli which will cause synapses in your brain to fire on an involuntary basis but that doesn't guarantee an orgasm. For an orgasm to occur you have to accept a stimuli process it, and carefully balance delightful tension with being relaxed enough to let go.

Orgasms are intensely personal, and well not my problem unless I"m chasing one down for me.

LOL And some guys in AM pics think that just because you commented on a guys thread and you're all horny now that your orgasm IS their problem and flood you with the creepy PMs.

 

[Que]

i gotta get to a laptop...

*Ahem* Getting back on topic......(please ya'll, I like this thread. I don't wanna see it go poof, like a few others have in the last couple of days).



You're not the only one. Isana's post put a totally different spin on it, didn't it? Thanks, Isana!





It's not just on AM Pics. There are some men on Lit who think that by virtue of her presence, any woman who participates here has consented to provide wank fodder for any and all who demand it. And get downright hostile when told to piss off. In that sense, I totally agree with "your orgasm is not my problem."

But some men you just can't be subtle with - hence the PM asshat threads.

I saw one GREAT ampic thread degenerate because one guy was butthurt because she first tried to stoically ignore his pm offering to show himsel wanking to her pics...he insisted since she was exhibiting she is INVITING his flashing...as is the lovely femaile form is an assault in the senses the way our external genitalia is.

What was interesting there was anotyer girl, equally good thread and friends with girl one was very conflicted by the turmoil...she consider defender a friend and when he had made a similar offer to her she had enjoyed it well that's fine if it's offered and accepted, not cool if it's offered declined and then harassed.

Oh, now that is an idea! I haven't had any rude PMs so far (thank you, gents), but this might be an option for the others who are often harassed.

Sorry I've had you on my list of those to harrass... I just haven't gotten around to it it's on the way I promise.

I think the comment alluded to in the OP, the one by the viewer of the photos, and others like it are becoming more common. I think it has to do with a shift that is happening in the way people interact with each other, and quite possibly related to the "me-me-me" attitudes and instant gratification ideals that many are adopting.

As far as interaction goes, I think more and more there is a disconnect between people. Though I suspect comments like "now, finish me off" are going to be more common in the realm of chat rooms and message boards, where anonymity and the lack of "human touch" are prevalent, there are probably more and more couples / partners who make statements like this to each other everyday. Sad, really.

As for the comment about what's in it for her should she finish him off... nothing. But then she is not even a blip on the photo-viewer's radar. For him, it's all about him. Me, me, me. Easy to comprehend when considering these are two strangers who happened across each other while involved in their individual pursuits.

It is not so easy to get one's head around it when it is two people involved in an intimate relationship where, as stated in the OP, most people take pleasure in providing the happy ending for their partner.

A quick observational side note: Not only do I think you are seeing more and more of these selfish attitudes given the ease, anonymity, and speed of the internet, I think there has been an increase in the expectations of those "out for themselves", and an ugliness and hatred displayed towards anyone who does not comply with their demands. Just ask any of the ladies here on Lit who did not respond to an unsolicited PM, or reply in a fashion not satisfactory for the original (Asshat) sender. In some cases they have received additional unsolicited messages full of rudeness, calling them names, and intended to hurt.

Orgasms are indeed personal things, as stated. I think achieving them, and even the intensity or quality of them are greater when there is that intimate connection with the other. That is not to say that orgasmic attainment of one is the problem of the other, just that it is less likely to be a problem with intimacy and a connection between the two.

As far as orgasms via solo efforts go... In the vernacular of the Me-me-mers - "Talk to the hand."

Ha... talk to your hand..



I still have catching up to go on some of the original comments blue lilac and lady ver et al.... just didn't want to get further behind.

 

[Que]

Baila, isn't it crazy how something like that imprints itself so permanently on your brain? I am still occasionally haunted by a comment my husband made many years ago (I was 18, he 21...we were young and inexperienced). He made a subtle comparison to something, clearly implying his first was better at this particular act, she was so enthusiastic and very good at it. Young me heard, "you are horrible at this; she was so much better." Did he intend this? No, he was young and stupid. Did it wound me? Yep. It will still rear its head every once in a great while, no matter how much I realize it shouldn't.

Human nature to compare ourselves to others, when we feel that others are making comparisons it just doubles down on those feelings.

I thought Query was saying something entirely different..Maybe I misread what he said.

Mosta what I say can be classified as being entirely different

While I can see what you are saying, there is a line that needs to be walked there. Many people use this theory to justify being selfish lovers.

I wonder if perhaps maybe the better phrase could be ... I can be responsible for you not having an orgasm? I know that sounds like the same thing and I am having a hard time explaining exactly what I mean. [laughs] It might be because it is late and I am really tired.

I only mean that in the sense that someone who is uncaring and not concerned at all with their partner can be responsible for not taking the time to see to their partner's needs thus creating an environment that doesn't allow their partner to relax and enjoy the moment. Possibly? What do you think?

[laughs] Does that make any sense at all?

Makes a lot of sense. It's a lot easier to kill someone's impending orgasm then to help them build towards one.

Real Talk here: the constructive feedback that I've gotten when I have screwed things up for a partner is that I tend to talk too much... throw them off with the flights of fancy and fantasy going on in their own head.

I'm glad my post ended up clearing some confusion, because I totally agree with what query said.

I have found that the clearest indication of the intelligence of a woman is the degree to which she agrees with me. Smirk.

Seriously though your analysis this was more cogent than my actual post.

Some of my readers feel entitled to a cum with every story, cuz they send me nasty-grams when the story content fails to float their boat. And everyone has a gripe about something: story too short, too many stories, stories are implausible, etc. I suspect that a chunk of the problem is other writers wanting to deflate my narcissism. Cant be done, its as firm and big as God's cock.

That said, and no one will ever believe it who hasnt experienced it, I groove on being hospitable and your obedient servant. Nothing is too much or too much trouble for your satisfaction if I'm your host. And that goes double in bed. The plan is to fly you to the Moon and let you play among the stars, however it works for you. Wanna screw atop the table at Sonnys Barbecue? Not a problem! Wanna screw in the parish kitchen when the parish hall is fulla people? Your way right away! If it takes you all night to orgasm, I got the time for you.

That said, too, some women make the work tough with poor or no hygiene, or they spend all of dinner talking about the guy who refused to let them in when they flew to Atlanta to be with him. I pretend its enchanting, hang on every word, and send them on their way with a full belly. One woman spent all of dinner literally sobbing about the man who dumped her. I was all compassion and concern, fed her, and sent her home, too. I prefer the gals who wanna rip my clothes off.

There is lots hererthat made me smile in agreement. Altough my life experience has till recently been i suspect considerably different than yours I am arriving at the same point in the end.

I had been with the same girl ( in most ways my first) for 2 decades... now enjoying the freedom of being single I find that I still pass sometimes if they don't seem overwhelmingly attracted I mean what's the point if they arent really eager?

If someone's merely going to tolerate my ministrations I might as well be married to them.