The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

Artisinal hickory. Who knew??

That was a pretty funny vid. It said it was satire but looked really realistic. Then I saw the guy washing the wood and using scissors.. 😂

It does take me a while to split the kindling and then bundle it up. Next week I’ll start clipping the little fibers and washing it!
Then you can triple the price as it will be "artisanal!" Don’t forget the ginger rub! 🤣🤣🤣
 
Chinese takeout: $20.00. Fuel to get there: $1.50. Getting home to find out they’ve forgotten one of your dishes: Riceless.

If your iPhone runs out of charge, does that mean you’re out of apple juice?

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one – he’s never gonna give you Up.

To whoever stole my broken bathroom scale, you’ll never get a weigh with it.

If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.

Got a new job as a guillotine operator. I’ll beheading there shortly.

I used to work at an unemployment office. When they fired me, I still had to show up the next day.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

My friends and I have named our band “The Duvets”. It’s a covers band.

I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

I lost my partner’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
 
Chinese takeout: $20.00. Fuel to get there: $1.50. Getting home to find out they’ve forgotten one of your dishes: Riceless.

If your iPhone runs out of charge, does that mean you’re out of apple juice?

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one – he’s never gonna give you Up.

To whoever stole my broken bathroom scale, you’ll never get a weigh with it.

If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.

Got a new job as a guillotine operator. I’ll beheading there shortly.

I used to work at an unemployment office. When they fired me, I still had to show up the next day.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

My friends and I have named our band “The Duvets”. It’s a covers band.

I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

I lost my partner’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
Truely awful, thank you cheered me up.
 
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