...seduce someone?

[Velvet_Glove]

I'm at a loss. We're friends, having met through work a couple of years ago - but we do not work for the same company. He's 17 years older than me and all I can think about is getting him somewhere private and having my way with him.

I am pretty sure he is attracted and interested, but has not said or done anything to move our friendship to the next level. We meet for lunch, exchange emails (real ones, not just fwds) and have occassional phone conversations.

I've never been the aggressor. How do I go about it?

 

[emap]

Well generally, asking him if he would like to go out for dinner and dancing or whatever works really really well.

Or you can go all passive aggressive and say how you wish someone would take you to go and see this thing or to this place and hope he picks up the hint.

 

[PublicAffection]

As a single woman, I found being the aggressor very VERY easy. Most men find it very hot to have a woman come on to them - even to the degree that a woman can be much more aggressive towards a man than a man could ever be and get away with it.

My coin-phrase when I was un-attatched was a simple, "Hello, I'd really like to get to know you better. Oh, and you won't need your pants." I can't remember ever getting a negative response.

 

[Velvet_Glove]

"Hello, I'd really like to get to know you better. Oh, and you won't need your pants."

May I use that on a bold day???

emap - I think he may have been dropping hints about visiting one of the local attractions and I was either too dense or too cowardly to pick up on it. What's that saying about hindsight?

I think I need to just pick up the phone and ask. Keep your fingers crossed!

 

[littlebitshe]

"Hello, I'd really like to get to know you better. Oh, and you won't need your pants."

That's Awesome! I'll have to use that one sometime!

 

[Joankraig]

How bout emailing "I think it's time we made time for just the two of us. How bout cumming over (and over again) Saturday?"

 

[RUbensBeautY]

My coin-phrase when I was un-attatched was a simple, "Hello, I'd really like to get to know you better. Oh, and you won't need your pants." I can't remember ever getting a negative response.

Thank you for sharing.

I am crossing my fingers for you Velvet. When you have all the tricks of female aggression figured out, please let us know.

 

[bustindustin82]

Or you can go all passive aggressive and say how you wish someone would take you to go and see this thing or to this place and hope he picks up the hint.
Ive had girls do that,damn it I used to be so naive lol

 

[EttienneB]

What great openers!

I once tried, "Please forgive me if I am overstepping the bounds of propriety with you --and I will deny ever having said this if that's the case-- but I have wondering for a while what is the best way to seduce you..."

 

[emap]

Oh well if your just wanting sex, I have so been there done that alot.

I have found the best way is to simply approach the hotty and tell him either "I want to give out a blowjob, do you want to go into the back alley or your car" or also just as good, "Your place or mine right now let's go."

If you want to let them come to you, wear a little, as in small skirt no panties sit at the bar face the room and leave your legs spread. Amazing how fast people start coming up to you.

 

[Anhedonic]

hope he picks up the hint.

From a male perspective I advise against hinting. Guys really dislike this and would rather you came right out with whatever you intend to communicate.

 

[mjl2010]

Invite him over for dinner. Wear something sexy without being trashy. Have some quiet music going during dinner. Afterwards, ask him to dance and dance him into the bedroom.

If he tries to run. Tie him up.

MJL

 

[NorCalGirl]

Invite him over for dinner. Wear something sexy without being trashy. Have some quiet music going during dinner. Afterwards, ask him to dance and dance him into the bedroom.

If he tries to run. Tie him up.

MJL

*takes notes for next hottie who falls into my web*

 

[Laila_Aurora]

...............

 

[Velvet_Glove]

I once tried, "Please forgive me if I am overstepping the bounds of propriety with you --and I will deny ever having said this if that's the case-- but I have wondering for a while what is the best way to seduce you..."

Damn, that is good. I wonder how much wine I would need to have that roll smoothly off my tongue?

 

[emap]

Practice it in front of your mirror. No seriously there is no better way to relax and say it right.

I have been caught by both of my parents standing in front of a mirror saying all sorts of things with what I hoped was a low seductive voice. We won't go into detail on what was said to me.

 

[helix27]

"hello would you fancy a fuck?"

 

[RUbensBeautY]

"hello would you fancy a fuck?"

How many times have you said yes?

 

[elib257]

I'm in this situation too only with me it was well known that we used to be in love but for lots of reasons couldn't do anything about it... now we're back in contact and it's a sticky situation because there's not just our feelings but others too and most importantly I don't want to ruin the friendship (as has been mentioned before).

I think the advice is obvious, just be up front. But it's easier said than done of course. What've we got to lose?

 

[helix27]

How many times have you said yes?

ummm once.

 

[youknowyoulike]

Thank you for sharing.

I am crossing my fingers for you Velvet. When you have all the tricks of female aggression figured out, please let us know.

From a guy's perspective, uh yeah this would work.


Good luck!

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Some other possibilities from "his" POV

VG:

It's all very simple, really. If he is a guy and he is not gay, he has already thought about asking you out and getting naked and nasty. The fact that he hasn't means:

a. He doesn't really want to..... Maybe there is another woman he is seeing, hopes to "see" or can't get out of his mind. Maybe you are not on his sexual radar at all, but he values you as a friend. Non-sexually intimate friendships can be golden. If that should be the case, give him credit for not being the typical guy and dismissing you as "socially deceased." But the fact remains, he has looked you over, and decided......no.

b. He would really like to, but.... Exploring the many permutations of "but" makes the dance far more complicated. Maybe he is concerned about risking what you have now should a more intimate hookup "end badly". And, let's face it, many if not most do. Do we get to keep our friendship if we fail each other's expectations as lovers? Speaking of expectations, this might present an interesting topic of conversation: How has he fared in the past at living up to other people's expectations? How have they fared in living up to his? "I'd like to but" is a land of hidden agendas. They usually come into view eventually, but often not without pain and after both parties have wasted a considerable amount of time. And for overly sensitive types like myself (and perhaps this guy) those agendas can even preclude you from extending the initial invitation for dinner and a movie, as silly as that may seem.

And there is that matter of 17 years. Maybe that spooks him. If he gets all hot and sweaty with you, does that mean it's OK for his golf buddies to hit on his daughter?

c. "Well, we could just be fuck buddies?" If it's what you both want, fine, but the proposition itself could be understandably awkward given the friendship you have already established. Should you discuss it in advance or wait until the first post-coital, tandem shower? And can you really have a friendship that in many ways is actually more intimate than your relationship as sexual partners? I'm certain that many on this forum would say, "Hell, yeah!!" I often think I would like to give it a try myself, but it's not for everyone. What happens when either partner does find a deeper sexual soulmate? Still friends?

I wish you luck in your approach. If he is merely shy, a sexually aggressive overture from you could be the perfect physical therapy. But if his hesitancy to come closer is more deeply rooted in the psych ward, your next best move is far less clear.

 

[Dreamliner]

Only you can tell how "close" you are to each other. I am assuming you can sense this.

To take it the next step, as it seems this is now where your relationship may be headed provided one of you is the initiator...

I would invite him out to dinner, a Friday or Saturday preferably, so you are not working the next day. The restaurant need not be 5star, but should provide the appropriate ambience. As you get cofortable with each other chatting, you will need to in this environment, when it comes to ordering deserts or coffee, comment:

"Desert is at my place, it is already warmed and ready, with a combination of soft liquid and hard pieces ready for your pleasure. I hope this tempts you as you have my heart beating at 120 already and I have this keen desire to raise it further."

This was said to me one night. A memorable woman, a memorable partner.

 

[Velvet_Glove]

VG:

And there is that matter of 17 years. Maybe that spooks him. If he gets all hot and sweaty with you, does that mean it's OK for his golf buddies to hit on his daughter?

I'm thinking the age difference is a major hurdle for him. I cannot count how many times he has said something to the effect of being an old man. He is only 52! When he says it - I am quick to reassure him that he is not an old man. But, I also know I am only five years older than his oldest daughter.

We are having dinner tonight. I will wait and see how the conversation goes before I risk our friendship.

 

[fire_breeze]

And let us know what happens...