Canada from Eh to Zed

[Keroin]

Good day, eh. Welcome to “Canada from Eh to Zed”, take off your toque and stay awhile. There’s a cozy chesterfield to relax on and I keep the fridge stocked with Canadians, (the beer, not the people).

As self-appointed Lit BDSM Café Ambassador for Canada, I decided I should create a little space here for the Canucks or Canuck lovers or Canuck haters or…OK, well, for just anyone to hang out in and discuss all things Canadiany.

If you’re a Canuck, consider this a safe place to practice unrestrained politeness. No one will judge you here and if they do I will ask them, politely, several times if necessary, to leave. I might even raise my voice! (But probably not.)

If you’re a non-Canuck, this is where you can learn about the second largest landmass in the world, where you can ask burning Canada-related questions such as, “Do you all live in igloos?” (no) or “Could you please take back Celine Dion?” (also no) or, “Is it true that Canada has more donut shops, per capita, than the US?” (Yes).

As the self-appointed Lit BDSM Café Ambassador for Canada I can also bestow honourary Canadian citizenship to worthy members. (Please note that spelling “honourary” with a “u” will help with your application, as will gifts of donuts – I like bear claws…the donut, not the animal body part).

Canada is a BIG country with a tiny amount of people in it, (most huddling close to the border for warmth), so there’s plenty of room for everyone.

So welcome, bienvenue and kutaa!

 

[BiBunny]

“Is it true that Canada has more donut shops, per capita, than the US?” (Yes).

That settles it. I'm moving. The closest Krispy Kreme to me is currently over an hour away.

 

[Keroin]

Now some of you may be wondering what being Canadian has to do with BDSM and to that I can only answer...HA!

Sorry, that was a bit outspoken ,wasn't it? Sorry, sorry...

Anyway, this is Susanna Moodie

Yes, all Canadian women are hot, I know. Oh Susanna indeed! Well, Susanna was born in England in 1803 but emigrated in...mutter, mutter, mutter...and became a settler in Upper Canada. There she penned the first BDSM novel, Roughing it in the Bush.

A pioneer in every sense of the word and a good Canadian kid.

 

[Keroin]

That settles it. I'm moving. The closest Krispy Kreme to me is currently over an hour away.

Now, I like the way Krispy Kreme makes such lovely use of the letter K but really, once you've crossed over to Tim Horton's (aka "Timmy's"), you'll be all "Krispy who?" As we say here in Canuck land, "You've always got time for Tim Horton's!"

Welcome Bunny! Here let me fetch you a donut.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

OK, I am a big fan of Rush....

But please explain what evil the US has done to our northern neighbor to cause you to send Celene Dion to us?

(And don't blame South Park, she was here first)

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Are Terrence and Phillip really national heroes up there?

 

[YourCaptor]

A lot of my professors come from or have studied in Canada. They do a lot of psychology research up in that place.

I've thought about doing grad school their, maybe even living in Vancouver, when I'm old and angry. Or slightly before then.

And isnt fetlife Canadian?

 

[Moonlit]

I have long been a fan of yours, Keroin... and not just because you're a fellow Canadian. ...

I'm loving this thread but I have to make one little correction (please forgive me ) ..

*whispering* You should be offering people doughnuts .. donuts are American.



About sending Celine Dion to the US .. we're sorry. She wasn't like that when we sent her down there... but the more popular she got, the more divaesque she became.

 

[Keroin]

OK, I am a big fan of Rush.... 5 bonus points

But please explain what evil the US has done to our northern neighbor to cause you to send Celene Dion to us?

(And don't blame South Park, she was here first)

Hey, talk to James Cameron and his stupid sinking boat movie.

"My heart will go on and on and on...just like this song."

Oh wait, Cameron is Canadian. Damn. Um. I'm just gonna use George W Bush. (That will be my default answer from now on).

Are Terrence and Phillip really national heroes up there?

I don't know who Terrence and Phillip are. Maybe you meant Bob & Doug?

A lot of my professors come from or have studied in Canada. They do a lot of psychology research up in that place.

I've thought about doing grad school their, maybe even living in Vancouver, when I'm old and angry. Or slightly before then.

And isnt fetlife Canadian?

I've never visited Fetlife but if it is really, really good then it probably is Canadian. All the really, really good things are.

I have long been a fan of yours, Keroin... and not just because you're a fellow Canadian. ...

I'm loving this thread but I have to make one little correction (please forgive me ) ..

*whispering* You should be offering people doughnuts .. donuts are American.

Doh! Nuts!

I have a fan? Beauty!

About sending Celine Dion to the US .. we're sorry. She wasn't like that when we sent her down there... but the more popular she got, the more divaesque she became.

Re: text in bold....

For aspiring Canadians, please notice that Moonlit apologized not once but twice in a single post. This is quintessential Canuckism. Kudos to you Moonlit!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Funny, how random chance works... after seeing this thread.. I end up in a conversation with a Canadian Dominant friend of mine who was telling me that I should head up to Canada for a vacation...

He also implied that there are a lot of attractive submissives up there.

 

[k_m_d_]

*whispering* You should be offering people doughnuts .. donuts are American.

Dough-nuts...I told you I don't like ethnic foods!

 

[MisterSir]

Does Tom Sawyer really get high on you, the druggie bastard?

Also for fuck's sake when do the Leafs get to win again?

 

[Dianthus]

Also for fuck's sake when do the Leafs get to win again?

When Hell freezes over. Oh, wait, that's usually February here....stay tuned.

I think a Lit Ambassador for Canada is a great idea. I've fielded numerous questions about our country.

People are under the impression that we are underpopulated (not true, Canadians like a little elbow-room) and that it snows here every day (also untrue; July will see steamy 105F temperatures in many Canadian cities).

Thanks for a good thread.

 

[WriterDom]

I like Canada. I just can't respect a country who bows to a English monarch.

 

[00Syd]

I know more words to the Canadian national anthem than to the U.S. national anthem. True story.

 

[DVS]

I've been to Winnipeg (is it safe to venture any further north?) and saw people who were really...I mean really into lawn bowling. I thought it was a little strange. Of course I was only 9 at the time and this was 1962. OK I'm old, but is that still so popular up there, or has Curling taken over, eh?

 

[MisterSir]

I know more words to the Canadian national anthem than to the U.S. national anthem. True story.

For five minutes, I tried to remember the words to "Stars and Stripes Forever" to compare it to the verse of the British anthem and the three lines of O Canada I know. Yes, it did escape my notice that that's not the American national anthem. I felt rather thick.

 

[Cattypuss]

Hey, Leslie Nielsen's Canadian. That's good enough for me.

 

[ecstaticsub]

In New England we have a Dunkin Donuts on practically every street corner. Are there any in Canada (at least the eastern part?)

My husband's family is from way upstate Maine where their first language was French. My BIL was born in a hospital in Canada because it was closer than the one in Maine. (where his parents lived)

I like this thread, it makes me happy (and maybe even perky).

 

[wicked woman]

Yes Fetlife is Canadian and great and we have Dunkin Donuts.

In Ontario we even have a group/website that lists the local BDSM events. It's appropriately called Eh B C.

And I so enjoy Americans who love Canadians. Ok one in particular.

Great thread Keroin

 

[Keroin]

He also implied that there are a lot of attractive submissives up there.

This is true. It's a scientific fact that the combination of fresh air, abundant water and plenty of room to run produces high grade submissives, which is why there are several submissive farms here in Canada. Yes, we grow them and then, like the rest of our natural resources, export them to other countries for pennies on the dollar, only to have them processed and sold back to us at a much higher cost.

It's the Canadian way.

Does Tom Sawyer really get high on you, the druggie bastard?

Also for fuck's sake when do the Leafs get to win again?

Tom Sawyer lives in the Gulf Islands, in a commune of ex-draft dodgers, where he makes hemp rafts that he sells to gullible tourists. So the answer to your question is: I don't know.

The Leafs? Win? Oh please, don't ask those sorts of questions when I have a mouth full of liquid.

Thanks for a good thread.

You are very welcome! Thank you for saying 'thanks'!

I like Canada. I just can't respect a country who bows to a English monarch.

Oh, we don't just bow to an English monarch, WD, we bow to every monarch. You got a monarch? We'll bow to him or her...or it. Heck, it doesn't even have to be a monarch, we'll bow to people with long names or fancy hats or nice teeth. Heck, yesterday I bowed to poodle, (in my defense, the poodle's name was "Queenie"). Yep, we're big on bowing, which is part of the reason we grow such fine submissives up here.

I know more words to the Canadian national anthem than to the U.S. national anthem. True story.

Well, there are only twelve words in our anthem so...

I've been to Winnipeg (is it safe to venture any further north?) and saw people who were really...I mean really into lawn bowling. I thought it was a little strange. Of course I was only 9 at the time and this was 1962. OK I'm old, but is that still so popular up there, or has Curling taken over, eh?

You went to Winnipeg?? Are you fucking nuts??!!!

And sadly, yes, curling has usurped lawn bowling as Canada's all time favourite sport. Chalk it up to blood lust and a generation of kids that grew up on MuchMusic (that's the Canuck, pg version of MTV). Since curling went full contact, lawn bowling lost viewers and sponsors and is now even less popular than baseball, (I know, hard to believe, eh?)

Hey, Leslie Nielsen's Canadian. That's good enough for me.

Five bonus points and an autographed copy of the Vinyl Cafe for Cattypuss.

In New England we have a Dunkin Donuts on practically every street corner. Are there any in Canada (at least the eastern part?)

I like this thread, it makes me happy (and maybe even perky).

Careful using the "P" word around here!

But seriously, yes, we have Dunkin Donuts though, let me tell you, that did not come without controversy. I mean, what's with the missing "g"? We are a country that likes to add letters, not take them away, (notice our profligate use of the letter "u"). To this day, you will see Dunkin Donuts shops with g's spray painted on in the appropriate place.

Thank you for liking the thread!

Great thread Keroin

Merci beaucoup WW!

 

[Keroin]

Canadian History Corner

It’s easy to assume that we Canadians, being a bunch of peaceniks, don’t have historical war heroes. Americans have Paul Revere and his famous ride, Brits have…well, a whole slew of guys that did all kinds of war things that are simply too numerous to mention but here in Canada we have our own brand of hero.

Meet Laura Secord.

Secord, during the war of 1812, after rescuing her injured husband from the battlefield, (yeah, I know, what the hell was she doing out there?), went on to overhear a conversation about a planned American attack. Since her hubby was injured and the Internet was down that day, she decided to go for a 20-mile stroll to alert General Fitzgibbons of the impending threat.

While there was no daring horse riding, torch waving or shouts of “The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!” Secord’s shoes were awfully tight and I’m reasonably certain she developed blisters along the way.

The message was received and the planned attack was thwarted. In 1814 the Treaty of Ghent was signed, everyone shared a doughnut and went home.

But Laura Secord’s legend lives on, immortalized forever in…chocolate. Yes, we Canucks celebrate our heroes by naming confectionery companies after them. Yum!

This has been a little slice of Canadian history. Have a nice day!

 

[AlabasterThighs]

Now, I like the way Krispy Kreme makes such lovely use of the letter K but really, once you've crossed over to Tim Horton's (aka "Timmy's"), you'll be all "Krispy who?" As we say here in Canuck land, "You've always got time for Tim Horton's!"

Welcome Bunny! Here let me fetch you a donut.

I am seriously addicted to Tim Horton's (my family calls it "Timmy Ho's") butter caramel coffee (XLG, 4 cream, 4 equal)! I dislike Dunkin(g) Donuts coffee, it always tastes burnt.

I don't know who Terrence and Phillip are. Maybe you meant Bob & Doug?

I do know who Terrence and Phillip are, and frankly they are NOT NEARLY as funny as Bob & Doug "Take Off Eh"

This has been a little slice of Canadian history. Have a nice day!

Thank you for sharing these "little slices of Canadian history"! Its quite fascinating and educational. I am a fan of Canada in general, and have nothing but nice things to say about the Canadian friends I have made over the years. As a teenager, my family used to go every summer to Big Rideau Lake for a week, and wow, did we have fun hanging with the locals!

Thanks for a great thread

 

[Keroin]

"Take Off Eh...ya hoser!

Thank you for sharing these "little slices of Canadian history"! Its quite fascinating and educational. I am a fan of Canada in general, and have nothing but nice things to say about the Canadian friends I have made over the years. As a teenager, my family used to go every summer to Big Rideau Lake for a week, and wow, did we have fun hanging with the locals!

Thanks for a great thread

Why thank you very much AT!

We Canadians pride ourselves on our ability to hang out at lakes and have fun with foreigners. Sometimes we even drink beer while we're doing it. (I hope the mosquitoes weren't too bad, BTW. If they were, well, let me apologize on behalf of my entire nation...sorry.)

 

[AlabasterThighs]

Why thank you very much AT!

We Canadians pride ourselves on our ability to hang out at lakes and have fun with foreigners. Sometimes we even drink beer while we're doing it. (I hope the mosquitoes weren't too bad, BTW. If they were, well, let me apologize on behalf of my entire nation...sorry.)

Your pride is well founded! Even though I was technically too young to legally drink in your country or in mine, those delightful local boys & girls still provided beer along with a great time As to the mosquitoes, since they are also touted as the New York State bird, I found them to be easily ignored and only added to the fun of the trip. Ever play connect the dots with mosquito bites?