A List Of Sexual Terms You Never Heard of before

[Rickster627]

Angry Dragon (aka Alaskan Firedragon): Guy cums in chick's mouth, removes dick, applies hand firmly and whispers "I have syphilis". Cue cum streaming out her nose.



The Cleveland Steamer: Shitting on a girl's chest.



Bitch Wrinkle: Synonym for vagina.



Spam Javelin: Synonym for penis.



Cluster Fuck: Group sex.



Dog In A Bathtub: The act of attempting to insert one's testicles into another's anus. Purpose unknown. Name is due to the difficulty of the act being that of getting a dog to stay in a bathtub.



Coke Cock: Impotence brought on by cocaine abuse.



Whiskey Dick: Same as coke cock, only brought on by alcohol.



Donkey Punch: The act of punching one's partner in the back of the head while performing anal intercourse hard enough to make the receiving party lose consciousness. This allegedly tightens the anal sphincter and provides greater pleasure.



Tony Danza: Similar to a Donkey Punch, except before punching the puncher asks "Who's the boss?". Before their partner can reply, the puncher yells "TONY DANZA!" and delivers the punch.



Bismarck: Girl fellates guy, guy pulls out to to sign her face, but before ejaculation he gives her a bloody nose. The cum and blood mix together to look like a jelly donut's innards.



Felching: Licking or sucking cum from the vagina or anus.



Teabagging: Guy dips testicles in girl's mouth.



Sperm Wail: The incoherent roar an guy makes when orgasming.



Angry Spider: A use of a hand for sexual gratification. To properly give an angry spider one must either receive a partners or his/her own thumb up their rectum, and use the other four fingers to scratch or paw at the genitals in a manner that the fingers move in a manner that resembles an angry spider.



Choke The Chicken/Beat The Bishop/Flog The Dolphin/Spank The Monkey/Jerk The Gherkin: All meaning male masturbation.



The Flying Camel: Guy does girl from behind while holding both her arms out behind her at a 45-degree angle by the wrists. The short, sharp motions of their actions cause her arms to bob up and down like wings.



The Admiral: Guy does girl from behind while assuming naval parade rest stance (feet slightly apart, hands clasped behind back). Strictly a class move.



Live Long And Prosper (aka The Dr. Spocker)
A sexual act consisting of the index and middle fingers in the vagina and the ring and pinky fingers inserted into the anus in a lewd parody of the Vulcan hand gesture from Star Trek.



Nantucket Sleighride: The act of snorting a line of the substance of your choice, out of the valley of your spouse/lover/random hobo's butt crack and taint.



Snowplow: The act of knocking a girl's elbows out while slamming her from behind. Once her face is firmly planted in the pillow, one is to continue hitting it as hard as possible; thus imitating a "snowplow."



Fish Hook: During doggy style, the guy inserts his fingers into the girl's nostrils and pulls her head back.



Betty Bumper: Pushing a chick's head firmly against the wall while ramming her doggy style. This allows for deeper penetration.



Dirty Sanchez: Fingering a chick in the anus, then pulling your finger out and wiping it across the top of her upper lip.



Spit Roast: Two dudes, one chick in between getting it orally and vaginally.



Rotisserie Party: Group sex consisting entirely of spit roast arrangements.

 

[OzoneRed]

The Rodeo Fuck: While doing a lady doggie-style, lean forward and say "You know, your sister really likes this position, too."

Then try to hang on for eight seconds.

 

[mc44k]

The rodeo fuck cracked me up. I had not heard that one.

 

[PapaB17]

Spit Roast: Two dudes, one chick in between getting it orally and vaginally.

This is also referred to as "the wobbly H."

 

[Stella_Omega]

This thread is a can of Condensed Cream of Passive-Aggressive.

 

[Fmature2play]

Some made me laugh and a few kinda made me go ewwwww.

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

some porn actress did a donkey punch scene and said it was one of the most traumatizing things she ever went through.

don't forget:

it's either blumpkin or lumpkin: when a woman gives a guy a blowjob while he is taking a shit on the toilet.

 

[Fmature2play]

some guy punches me and .....well my mama passed her big cast iron skillet down to me.......

 

[Kyssi1]

Some made me laugh and a few kinda made me go ewwwww.

Some of these made me laugh and others made my jaw drop to the ground.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Mostly, they make me feel bad for the men who think these things up. Like, they hate the women they fuck, that much.

But I feel worse for any woman those guys might associate with. Of Course.

 

[Prettywilling]

Sperm Wail amuses me alot, probably more than it should

 

[TheB]

Eiffel tower...
Girl bent over between two guys, guys high five each other. From the side it looks like the tower.

Rusty trombone....
Girl gives blow job, girl sticks thumb in guys ass, she proceeds to move guy back and forth like a trombone.

 

[AlwaysDaisy]

This thread is a can of Condensed Cream of Passive-Aggressive.

QFT. I'm guessing the reason I hadn't heard of most of these is I've been fortunate that my lovers have always been men who liked women.

 

[Mephistopheles7]

This shit always follows the same format:

Adjective+Noun X something harsh and degrading to a woman - chance of ever happening = CRAZY SEX ACT LOOKATMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

....

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will say though, that my first graffiti'd av was inspired by the term "Dirty Sanchez" which made me laugh for WEEKS after I heard it the first time.

But when you hear one of these.. and then you hear twenty more... it all changes, from funny to vomit. Or even scary, if it's your boyfriend who's yucking it up. Or any man in touching distance, really.

 

[Abitov]

Wtf?

Come guys--these are intended as jokes--puerile, crude, rendundant, even disgustine (dirty Sanchez??) jokes I'll admit. But no man I know would ever take these things seriously, or want to actually do them, or think it was funny if someone else actually did them.

I'm not racist, but I can laugh a Mexican / Black / Whitey (of which I'm one) jokes. I am also bi-, thus a cocksucker at times, but I can still laugh a cocksucker jokes. And laughing at these low brow jokes does not make one a misogynist.

 

[KinkyGoose]

[...] they hate the women they fuck, that much [... ]

Don't worry, the guys that think these things up don't fuck anyone but their own fists, haha.

They're all thought up by pervy little 15-year-olds.

But that being said, they're a bit like dead baby jokes; a little bit funny because they're so awful, but after telling 10-15 of them, whoever knows the most just seems like a real creep.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Come guys--these are intended as jokes--puerile, crude, rendundant, even disgustine (dirty Sanchez??) jokes I'll admit. But no man I know would ever take these things seriously, or want to actually do them, or think it was funny if someone else actually did them.

I'm not racist, but I can laugh a Mexican / Black / Whitey (of which I'm one) jokes. I am also bi-, thus a cocksucker at times, but I can still laugh a cocksucker jokes. And laughing at these low brow jokes does not make one a misogynist.

Ah, the good old "Can't you take a joke?" defense of bigotry.

These jokes are not "low brow." They are misogynist. Most of the actions these "jokes" describe are pretty violent, as well as degrading, dehumanising, and aren't you glad no man you know would actually do them? And-- how can you be so sure of that? Because I know some men I wouldn't trust within a mile of any woman after a few drinks and a handful of ideas like these.

And it occurs to me that any time I hear someone say "I'm not racist/homophobic/misogynist/a bigot, but..." they are going to say something I wish I had never heard a friend say.

 

[KoPilot]

"SO A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND RAPES A GIRL. -rimshot-"

I don't find ^this funny, and I don't find the OP funny. I might have back when I was in 7th grade and didn't really know how sex and relationships and human beings worked, but not these days. Or, you know, if I was a fratboy that enjoyed slipping roofies into girl's drinks at parties.

 

[Abitov]

Ah, the good old "Can't you take a joke?" defense of bigotry.

These jokes are not "low brow." They are misogynist. Most of the actions these "jokes" describe are pretty violent, as well as degrading, dehumanising, and aren't you glad no man you know would actually do them? And-- how can you be so sure of that? Because I know some men I wouldn't trust within a mile of any woman after a few drinks and a handful of ideas like these.

And it occurs to me that any time I hear someone say "I'm not racist/homophobic/misogynist/a bigot, but..." they are going to say something I wish I had never heard a friend say.

Your points are all well made and taken Stella. Humor can hurt, whether it is intended to or not--and also it is often used to hurt intentionally.

But our two takes on this leaves me with a question: Where the fuck does this leave me? I gaurantee you that I do not have a misogynistic bone in my body. My wife is one of the most capable human beings I have ever known--after 20 years she still blows me away with her confidence, and her flat out ability to just get shit done. She is highly intelligent, self-reliant, assertive, and would never allow anyone--male or female--to walk on her. And I love her for all these traits. I have always found intelligent and confident women sexy, and the kind I want as friends. And as for male on female violence, it is one of the few unforgivables in my book--along with child abuse, cruelty to animals, elderly abuse. . . In other words--I will never tolerate bullies.

But having said all this, the fact remains that I found myself laughing at some of these obviously mean and disgusting things. So what the fuck does that say about me, if anything. Must I secretely (even from myself) hate women? Am I just terminally juvenile? I hope not. I guess what I'm getting at is, if as you say, these types of jokes are mysoginistic, and clearly they are to at least some degree, does it necessarilly follow that anyone who would tell them, or laugh at them, must be a mysoginist??

Respectfully,
Abitov

 

[Stella_Omega]

I guess what I'm getting at is, if as you say, these types of jokes are mysoginistic, and clearly they are to at least some degree, does it necessarilly follow that anyone who would tell them, or laugh at them, must be a mysoginist??

Well, that might be something worth wondering about, IMO.

Humor is like sex; you laugh at what you laugh at. Humor is also like sex, in that it can be directed towards the unwilling. Sexually, we call that "rape" when it's humor, we call it... I dunno, mockery, or degredation, or whatever. In the grand tradition of Sticks and stones, we believe that words are less offensive than rape, but we all know damn well that words often lead to sticks and stones. I have a scar on my face from a beer can hurled after a word ("faggot," pointed at people I was with). When I hear misogyny expressed, or homophobia, or racism, or religious intolerance-- my alarm bells go off. And you can say that you didn't mean anything by it, but my alarm bells are still ringing. So yeah, in my experience, repeating sexist hateful jokes because you think they are funny... is inconsiderate, at the least.

One of the reasons you laugh at these jokes is because they rely on the funnyness of unexpected juxtaposition. So yeah, turning a woman into a camel or a snowplow or a kicking donkey-- all those things are "funny" in that sense. And turning a woman who trusted some man enough to get naked and let him close enough to do that-- even more so. All those things are wrapped up in every joke, don't kid yourself. What makes jokes funny is the context, all the stuff we know about how people got there, all the way to the punchline.

There is beauty in horror, humor in violence, we are not one-size-fits-all critters. But we are moral critters, we need to make choices. The beauty of flowing blood, or fire on a mountain isn't beautiful enough for me to create that sight too often And what's funny about mean sex is the same thing that's funny in other, less destructive areas, and I can get my jollies elsewhere-- the very same jollies, really.

that's my philosophing for the day

 

[Abitov]

Well, that might be something worth wondering about, IMO.

Humor is like sex; you laugh at what you laugh at. Humor is also like sex, in that it can be directed towards the unwilling. Sexually, we call that "rape" when it's humor, we call it... I dunno, mockery, or degredation, or whatever. In the grand tradition of Sticks and stones, we believe that words are less offensive than rape, but we all know damn well that words often lead to sticks and stones. I have a scar on my face from a beer can hurled after a word ("faggot," pointed at people I was with). When I hear misogyny expressed, or homophobia, or racism, or religious intolerance-- my alarm bells go off. And you can say that you didn't mean anything by it, but my alarm bells are still ringing. So yeah, in my experience, repeating sexist hateful jokes because you think they are funny... is inconsiderate, at the least.

One of the reasons you laugh at these jokes is because they rely on the funnyness of unexpected juxtaposition. So yeah, turning a woman into a camel or a snowplow or a kicking donkey-- all those things are "funny" in that sense. And turning a woman who trusted some man enough to get naked and let him close enough to do that-- even more so. All those things are wrapped up in every joke, don't kid yourself. What makes jokes funny is the context, all the stuff we know about how people got there, all the way to the punchline.

There is beauty in horror, humor in violence, we are not one-size-fits-all critters. But we are moral critters, we need to make choices. The beauty of flowing blood, or fire on a mountain isn't beautiful enough for me to create that sight too often And what's funny about mean sex is the same thing that's funny in other, less destructive areas, and I can get my jollies elsewhere-- the very same jollies, really.

that's my philosophing for the day

Thanks for the gret annalysis Stella. Humor is an ineffable thing to me, and I never am able to put my finger on exactly what makes something funny. And you made a great point that I've been chewing on today--i.e., that insulting humor is "inconsiderate, at the least", and often far worse. What will roll off one person like water off a duck, may wound the next. I don't want to do that to anyone if I can help it.

And while I haven't / wouldn't tell any of the 'jokes' from this thread--sex jokes are not really my style--I definitely have told some equally offensive ones in other categories. Probably that is a habit I should alow to wither. Kind of rotten timing though, 'cause I just heard this one that made me bust a gut--you know, the one about why Hindu women have a red dot on their forhead?--oh well.

But I can't escape the conclusion that, truthfully, being considerate is really not that much to ask--of anyone.

Thanks again for sharing your ideas.

Abitov

 

[CNYCarol]

A List Of Sexual Terms You Never Heard of before:

LUG = Lesbian Until Graduation

 

[schwaulen]

Angry Pirate
When a man is receiving head while standing and his partner on their knees. Just before he ejaculates in his partners mouth, he pulls out and shoots his load in his partners eye. This will cause his partner to shut the eye with the semen in it. When the partner jumps up in anger, the man then kicks his partner in the shin, causing the partner to jump up and down holding the kicked leg and screaming "ARRRGHH!" in pain.


hilarious way to brake up.

 

[CNYCarol]

Come guys--these are intended as jokes--puerile, crude, rendundant, even disgustine (dirty Sanchez??) jokes I'll admit. But no man I know would ever take these things seriously, or want to actually do them, or think it was funny if someone else actually did them.

I'm not racist, but I can laugh a Mexican / Black / Whitey (of which I'm one) jokes. I am also bi-, thus a cocksucker at times, but I can still laugh a cocksucker jokes. And laughing at these low brow jokes does not make one a misogynist.

Abitov: I was beginning to think I was the only sane one on this thread.