✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I got to thinking about this while trying to find a certain icon on the home screen of my phone. “Where is the Dominion Power app?!??” I growled because for some reason that is the company that I had to schedule monthly insurance that covers the plumbing line from your house to the street ($2.50/month - do it! A neighbor learned the hard way!)

Again another tangent. Sigh

So there I was, flipping between screens on my phone, trying to find this app, and my family was standing there watching me get more harried. After I found it and paid for the insurance, we got to talking about how their home screens are organized. I learned that this is yet another way that I am doing things harder and not smarter.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

Now. Others in my family have a whole Car page and an Entertainment page, and a Health page, there is so much blank space on the page but it doesn’t matter. Each topic has a new page. So they have like 15 pages.

This made my eye twitch.

Then my teenagers customized their homepages to look .. beautiful or really cool but I can’t find a thing. So. I’m an old fogey, too, maybe.

I started looking at ways others organized their home screens. (Yes. I went down the rabbit hole.)

Some organized their icons by verb.

View attachment 2555550

Some by color. Wtf.

View attachment 2555551

Some alphabetically. I could get behind this one. Maybe. It still takes up too much space!

View attachment 2555552

And some by.. emoji??? I can’t.

View attachment 2555553

I had to take a nap after looking at how people did this. Then when I woke up, it made me think about how people organize their libraries.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I’m not, in general, organized. I have a good memory and by and large that’s sufficed, I should probably acknowledge it’s not as good as it was and it ain’t getting better…but also I think we sacrifice a lot as a society at the alter of efficiency, I don’t need to be efficient. I don’t want to be efficient. I don’t care if you think that means I should be able to process x number of emails and texts and meeting requests and blah blah blah. It’s not good for us.

Pretty colors are soothing though, not gonna do it, but they’re soothing,

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I spent time with a lady who wanted to organize my books via color. And I have ~2,000 books.

I had to put my foot down firmly and tell her that would happen over my cold, dead body

I organize them by genre, then by an internal system that makes sense to me, and only me. It's a complicated interweb of mental hyperlinks, associated memories, and themes.

But it works. I could find any book I own, in the dark, in under a minute.

 

[Jordan90]

I’m intrigued. I want to know more…

So here's a section of my bookshelf, for example. These particular books are all grouped together in my philosophy section. But what do a roman catholic philosopher's book on Homeric virtue, a book on post-communist politics in Poland, a book on architecture, books on symbolism, and books on pre-Renaissance literature all have in common?

Answer: they all are extenuations of a single idea, that I'm using to try and rewire my brain. I read them all and noticed a repeating pattern of interlocking ideas, all forming a coherent whole, just seen from different perspectives. Then they're arranged via philosophical foundation, political outworkings of that idea, then symbolic manifestions, which then lead to the art found in various forms. I could pinpoint each book with my eyes shut, if you asked me to.

But f you were just randomly eyeing my bookshelf, you would have no idea what flippin' thread bound all those books together at all. But in my brain, they're intimately linked and necessarily dependent on one another. In that specific order seen on the shelf, even...

My bookshelves are like an externalized version of my personal wikipedia vault that I take notes in: everything is hyperlinked and cross-indexed, and makes perfect sense to me...but to others, it looks like a firework explosion of colorful yarn.

And it reflects my personal understanding of how our brains function. I believe our brains function via association, rather than drop-downs of logical subject.

Anyway, I nerd out about this stuff. I could talk your ear off. And listen to other people all day too. #nerdsunite

 

[Mei5ter]

Are you, or would you be happy if Lit just ended or was taken from you? Can you see any up sides from not being able to visit this site anymore?

As of today, and especially having read a few other posts on Lit about the UK's Online Safety Act, the answers to these questions are now: yes, and lots.

 

[Jordan90]

To loosely paraphrase the Mad Hatter, "We all mad up in here."

 

[Mrtenant]

Lol, curious questions in light of my self- imposed recent retraction from membership from Lit at Night.

Say It Ain’t So…
​

On Friday, there’s a possibility that many Litsters in UK will not be able to access the Lit website due to some restrictions on sites with adult content. Maybe it won’t affect Lit at all. Maybe VPN can be a solution to this issue. Time will tell. But if it does, a huge section of our Lit community will suddenly be missing.

Most likely, you can find various ways to connect with those you’re close with here off of Lit. Or the Discord Lit at Night is another viable option to consider. But, neither of those will replace the original Lit.

My question is, what makes Lit LIT for you? Why have you stayed, or keep coming back? What are some lessons about yourself or others that you learned here?

Lit is Lit. I have a fairly long history here. The continuity intrigues me. I have seen changes happen many times in the website, the participation and membership, the evolution of the times and culture. I feel part of that somehow.

I have taken breaks. Slow downs in posting and yet I am still here. There is history and evolution in how I participate here also.

I have grown as a person. I have learned better boundaries. I have learned to do better poetry, writing, and editing. I learned how to be more effective with conflicts. I learned how to open up more. I learned that there are many people here that are hurting in ways we cannot imagine and may never know- and that some grace is necessary, if not encouraged. I learned about bdsm. Yes its true- I wasn't born knowing bdsm. I learned that some people here like me well enough despite my failures and fuckups. That was a hard one to learn. I learned that people place real value on relationships here. I learned that there are real people behind the avatars and pics, and sometimes, they pass away with only their words here left behind. I learned how to take a break from Lit and come back without whining about how everything is changed and no one visits with me anymore , etc etc.

(This isn’t an invitation to call out anyone specifically. I mean this in a very general sense). Are you, or would you be happy if Lit just ended or was taken from you? Can you see any up sides from not being able to visit this site anymore?

I would not be happy if Lit disappeared. It has been here a very long time by internet standards. Since what 1999? Crazy. I would deal with it though. There are many people and things, culture, and kindness that have disappeared in this world. It will happen one day, I expect. BUT, Today is not that day. Today...we fight! For Frodo!

Whether you are among those awaiting the new legislation to take effect, think about how you found this site. Looking back over your time here, what stands out to you as memorable? Is what you remember the most the reason you came here in the first place?

There are some things, it is better not to talk about. Some other things, are meeting new people, and recognizing and being recognized by others. I like to think I can be counted on as a friend. I fuck up sometimes, but you are all still here and visit with me and I am one of you. That matters.

There was a time, many years ago, a Litster friend was ill and died. I was not doing the best version of myself then. I like to think I can and have done better since.

The sexiness is fun. There is that. So many creative people here.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

All I am getting out of this today is that people keep books.. What good are they after you have read them except for taking up valuable shelf space?
Do you read them again?
Is there some secret left inside them that you might need again in the future?
Do you have some sort of library kink or fetish?
please enlighten me

 

[Mrtenant]

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I got to thinking about this while trying to find a certain icon on the home screen of my phone. “Where is the Dominion Power app?!??” I growled because for some reason that is the company that I had to schedule monthly insurance that covers the plumbing line from your house to the street ($2.50/month - do it! A neighbor learned the hard way!)

Again another tangent. Sigh

So there I was, flipping between screens on my phone, trying to find this app, and my family was standing there watching me get more harried. After I found it and paid for the insurance, we got to talking about how their home screens are organized. I learned that this is yet another way that I am doing things harder and not smarter.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

Now. Others in my family have a whole Car page and an Entertainment page, and a Health page, there is so much blank space on the page but it doesn’t matter. Each topic has a new page. So they have like 15 pages.

This made my eye twitch.

Then my teenagers customized their homepages to look .. beautiful or really cool but I can’t find a thing. So. I’m an old fogey, too, maybe.

I started looking at ways others organized their home screens. (Yes. I went down the rabbit hole.)

Some organized their icons by verb.

View attachment 2555550

Some by color. Wtf.

View attachment 2555551

Some alphabetically. I could get behind this one. Maybe. It still takes up too much space!

View attachment 2555552

And some by.. emoji??? I can’t.

View attachment 2555553

I had to take a nap after looking at how people did this. Then when I woke up, it made me think about how people organize their libraries.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I have to be organized or I cant get my job done. Also, I like being fairly organized. It doesn't have to be peter perfect, but, I want to be able to get my shit when I want it and not go searching for it for 45 minutes.

My garage is highly organized. Its a 3 car garage, I got lots of shit in there and can easily fit 3 cars in it. I have a library instead of a mancave. Okay, I sorta have one on of those too. I have a bar instead of a formal living room. Formal living rooms are such a waste. My vege garden is organized, so is my flower garden. I run a non profit food pantry- its super organized. I still feel somewhat scatter brained though. I find its better for me to write shit down, or I'll forget it. I used to have a bazillion phone numbers memorized. So that's different. Not a slob, at all. I like a clean place. I work my ass off. I deserve to live in a clean place. I make my bed every day. My phone is organized where the first 2 screens are apps I use most. Everything else is somewhere else. I dont care.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

My bookshelves are like an externalized version of my personal wikipedia vault that I take notes in: everything is hyperlinked and cross-indexed, and makes perfect sense to me...but to others, it looks like a firework explosion of colorful yarn.

And it reflects my personal understanding of how our brains function. I believe our brains function via association, rather than drop-downs of logical subject.

Anyway, I nerd out about this stuff. I could talk your ear off. And listen to other people all day too. #nerdsunite

Thank you for explaining your thought process! I can see the why even if I would probably not be able to find a book on your bookshelf if I was asked to. I appreciate hearing your reasoning!

As of today, and especially having read a few other posts on Lit about the UK's Online Safety Act, the answers to these questions are now: yes, and lots.

Uh-oh, what happened? I will have to search around?

Lol, curious questions in light of my self- imposed recent retraction from membership from Lit at Night

May I ask why? Just not your vibe?

I have grown as a person. I have learned better boundaries. I learned how to be more effective with conflicts.

How so?

I learned about bdsm. Yes its true- I wasn't born knowing bdsm.

What is something that stands out to you that you learned?

I learned that some people here like me well enough despite my failures and fuckups. That was a hard one to learn. I learned that people place real value on relationships here. I learned that there are real people behind the avatars and pics, and sometimes, they pass away with only their words here left behind.

All I am getting out of this today is that people keep books.. What good are they after you have read them except for taking up valuable shelf space?
Do you read them again?

I keep the ones that made me really think. Maybe it was the story. Maybe it was who I read it with and the discussion I had afterwards. Maybe I want to journal about it or connect it with another book. I keep books for the memories associated with them. Also if I just truly loved them, it’s like they are a friend and I just want to keep them.

 

[Jordan90]

All I am getting out of this today is that people keep books.. What good are they after you have read them except for taking up valuable shelf space?
Do you read them again?
Is there some secret left inside them that you might need again in the future?
Do you have some sort of library kink or fetish?
please enlighten me

Future reference. Decoration. Shock and awe your guests in the face with their overwhelming impressiveness. Pass them on to your loved ones so they have something of yours after you've passed. A visible reminder of the kind of person you want to be.

I could go on....

 

[Mrtenant]

May I ask why? Just not your vibe?

Without getting too much drama, yea, not my vibe. I experienced someone being a dick there and doing censorship. I can be here for that. I can work with TPH here.

How so?

My boundaries issue was about super old feelings of being abandoned. It took some time and effort to drill down to that and find that some of my feelings and behaviors that seemed to well up from that could absolutely be controlled. I choose not to give in to those feelings. I am always me, with or without anyone.

What is something that stands out to you that you learned?

Big self discovery thing there. I found that I have a dominant perspective. I'm not your typical Lit super domliest doms of all doms that ever dommed. I just learned to apply how I do things towards sexual expression with more intention. Being naturally protective doesn't hurt either. And having a wild creative streak a mile wide, is probably useful. I don't want to sound all narcissistic about it, but with age, leadership experience, my voice, my size, and my good attitude, all seem to blend favorably in that direction. Probably oversimplifying.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Without getting too much drama, yea, not my vibe. I experienced someone being a dick there and doing censorship. I can be here for that. I can work with TPH here.

My boundaries issue was about super old feelings of being abandoned. It took some time and effort to drill down to that and find that some of my feelings and behaviors that seemed to well up from that could absolutely be controlled. I choose not to give in to those feelings. I am always me, with or without anyone.

Big self discovery thing there. I found that I have a dominant perspective. I'm not your typical Lit super domliest doms of all doms that ever dommed. I just learned to apply how I do things towards sexual expression with more intention. Being naturally protective doesn't hurt either. And having a wild creative streak a mile wide, is probably useful. I don't want to sound all narcissistic about it, but with age, leadership experience, my voice, my size, and my good attitude, all seem to blend favorably in that direction. Probably oversimplifying.

Thank you for sharing that. I realize I was verging on being extra nosy. I trust and hope that you would tell me to shove it if I was.

I have a real love/hate relationship with Lit. I’m enjoying this thread very much. I like writing about random topics that I’m thinking about, and I appreciate others adding their thoughts and opinions too. Thank you again for being a part of this conversation.

 

[Mrtenant]

Thank you for sharing that. I realize I was verging on being extra nosy. I trust and hope that you would tell me to shove it if I was.

I have a real love/hate relationship with Lit. I’m enjoying this thread very much. I like writing about random topics that I’m thinking about, and I appreciate others adding their thoughts and opinions too. Thank you again for being a part of this conversation.

You're fine. No worries. I figure, sometimes people read these things and find out, they are in good company. Helps them in ways we may never know.

Also, no worries about the nosiness. If it were too much, I probably wouldn't even reply.

Sooooo... tell me more about this hope about me telling you to shove it? Shove what? Where? Does that come with pics? Sounds fun.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I'm organized enough, but not alarmingly so. I like less clutter in certain areas, well most spaces, because it quiets my mind.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

This is normal to me and a good way organizing. I don't have any folders on my home page though, only on the second page. Home page has my most used stuff. If something needs to go on, something's gotta come off.

But like, the search function is key. You don't need to go hunting through pages/folders.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

While I wouldn't, I don't think this is super weird. What is visually pleasing to me might not be to others, we all think and feel differently about things, if by colour makes your brain happy, cool beans.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I'm an alphabetical by artist and then by release date kind of guy for albums. I don't own enough books to really worry about the organization of them, but alphabetical by author would make the most sense to me there.

For files on my computer, work or otherwise, I like to follow a logical naming convention that also puts things in order if they need to be. All these things seem pretty normal to me though.

My lingerie drawer is a disaster though.

 

[birdy]

I

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I got to thinking about this while trying to find a certain icon on the home screen of my phone. “Where is the Dominion Power app?!??” I growled because for some reason that is the company that I had to schedule monthly insurance that covers the plumbing line from your house to the street ($2.50/month - do it! A neighbor learned the hard way!)

Again another tangent. Sigh

So there I was, flipping between screens on my phone, trying to find this app, and my family was standing there watching me get more harried. After I found it and paid for the insurance, we got to talking about how their home screens are organized. I learned that this is yet another way that I am doing things harder and not smarter.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

Now. Others in my family have a whole Car page and an Entertainment page, and a Health page, there is so much blank space on the page but it doesn’t matter. Each topic has a new page. So they have like 15 pages.

This made my eye twitch.

Then my teenagers customized their homepages to look .. beautiful or really cool but I can’t find a thing. So. I’m an old fogey, too, maybe.

I started looking at ways others organized their home screens. (Yes. I went down the rabbit hole.)

Some organized their icons by verb.

View attachment 2555550

Some by color. Wtf.

View attachment 2555551

Some alphabetically. I could get behind this one. Maybe. It still takes up too much space!

View attachment 2555552

And some by.. emoji??? I can’t.

View attachment 2555553

I had to take a nap after looking at how people did this. Then when I woke up, it made me think about how people organize their libraries.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I love the idea of being this organized lol. I'll be over here drinking a margarita, admiring the color coded organization.

 

[Cogan]

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I got to thinking about this while trying to find a certain icon on the home screen of my phone. “Where is the Dominion Power app?!??” I growled because for some reason that is the company that I had to schedule monthly insurance that covers the plumbing line from your house to the street ($2.50/month - do it! A neighbor learned the hard way!)

Again another tangent. Sigh

So there I was, flipping between screens on my phone, trying to find this app, and my family was standing there watching me get more harried. After I found it and paid for the insurance, we got to talking about how their home screens are organized. I learned that this is yet another way that I am doing things harder and not smarter.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

Now. Others in my family have a whole Car page and an Entertainment page, and a Health page, there is so much blank space on the page but it doesn’t matter. Each topic has a new page. So they have like 15 pages.

This made my eye twitch.

Then my teenagers customized their homepages to look .. beautiful or really cool but I can’t find a thing. So. I’m an old fogey, too, maybe.

I started looking at ways others organized their home screens. (Yes. I went down the rabbit hole.)

Some organized their icons by verb.

View attachment 2555550

Some by color. Wtf.

View attachment 2555551

Some alphabetically. I could get behind this one. Maybe. It still takes up too much space!

View attachment 2555552

And some by.. emoji??? I can’t.

View attachment 2555553

I had to take a nap after looking at how people did this. Then when I woke up, it made me think about how people organize their libraries.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I'm a bit of both. I'm organized were it need to be like in workplaces at home. I need to find things quick in the kitchen for example. I don't want to burn things before I find what I want. Same with my tools. They all have a place.

I don't have a lot of apps on my phone, so I don't have to so organized there. The icons only cover three and a half page.

The rest of our home is a mild chaos but we know most of the time where everything is. The problem is when we think we are smart and have found a better place for something. It can take days before we remember were that smart place was!

 

[SimonSex]

Hello everyone. I hope that your summer is treating you well.
My organizational skills are good, I would say. Like you @Love_Is_Blonde, I make folders for my app icons on my phone:
Auto, Travel, Food, Finance, etc. This makes sense with the way my brain works in terms of defining by task, and I loath searching for apps when I want them. Which gets to the heart of why I think order and organization mean something different to everyone.

For instance: I am a dedicated home cook. Elaborate meal preparation always has me doing a mis en place, a fancy French term for getting your shit together before cooking (dice your carrots/onions/celery, chop the herbs, grate the cheese etc.). I have small dishes and ramekins for this purpose.

Last year, the Washington Post food section published this article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/food/2024/03/19/mise-en-place-cooking-faster/
If you are not a subscriber and cannot access, I will break it down. Essentially, they proved that mis en place is not always the most expedient method for preparing a meal ands that sometimes, it is better to create some mess and get ‘er done rather than spend that time organizing your prep. Turns out they were right.

In the end, I PREFER to do mis because it calms me, I like organization, and I make the time for it because cooking is therapy for me and one of my love languages.

 

[Apisto42]

Let’s Get Organized
​

Are you an organized person or do you struggle with keeping things in order? Are there areas in which you are orderly but you’re a hot mess in others?

I got to thinking about this while trying to find a certain icon on the home screen of my phone. “Where is the Dominion Power app?!??” I growled because for some reason that is the company that I had to schedule monthly insurance that covers the plumbing line from your house to the street ($2.50/month - do it! A neighbor learned the hard way!)

Again another tangent. Sigh

So there I was, flipping between screens on my phone, trying to find this app, and my family was standing there watching me get more harried. After I found it and paid for the insurance, we got to talking about how their home screens are organized. I learned that this is yet another way that I am doing things harder and not smarter.

I have a square with all the health icons titled “Health” with my fitness apps, my heart health etc apps, my food journal apps, etc. I have another square with all the car related icons titled “Car” with my insurance apps, the Toyota app, the Edmunds app, etc. And so on. So I try to minimize the number of actual squares on my home screen and organize each square by theme.

Then I bunch them together on as few pages as I can. I don’t want to flip through 5 pages of icons.

Now. Others in my family have a whole Car page and an Entertainment page, and a Health page, there is so much blank space on the page but it doesn’t matter. Each topic has a new page. So they have like 15 pages.

This made my eye twitch.

Then my teenagers customized their homepages to look .. beautiful or really cool but I can’t find a thing. So. I’m an old fogey, too, maybe.

I started looking at ways others organized their home screens. (Yes. I went down the rabbit hole.)

Some organized their icons by verb.

View attachment 2555550

Some by color. Wtf.

View attachment 2555551

Some alphabetically. I could get behind this one. Maybe. It still takes up too much space!

View attachment 2555552

And some by.. emoji??? I can’t.

View attachment 2555553

I had to take a nap after looking at how people did this. Then when I woke up, it made me think about how people organize their libraries.

Does anyone here organize their library by color? Just curious.

Do you have a particular way of organizing anything? Is there something that HAS TO BE just so? Are you particular about … the food pantry? The car? Your desk? Your bedside table? Spreadsheets? Garden tools? Toys? Your lingerie drawer? Something else?

I used to try and organize apps. Like all the bills are in a folder. But now? I just download shit and then when I need it, I just search for it. Much faster than looking for it.

 

[Lmizzler]

I used to try and organize apps. Like all the bills are in a folder. But now? I just download shit and then when I need it, I just search for it. Much faster than looking for it.

I do similar. I still put them in folders to organize the screen some but other than my about 10 most used apps, I just end up searching for instead.

 

[Susurration]

Questionnaire​

Let’s (high)lighten the mood! I love a good questionnaire, especially one that allows for some creativity. Below you will find 20 questions. Yes, 20. That’s a lot. You do not have to answer all 20. You can answer whichever ones you want to answer. We won’t judge.

1. Do you make wishes on your birthday candles before blowing them out? Would you care to share what your last birthday wish was?
2. You discover a spider in your kitchen. What do you do?
3. What is your favorite comfort meal?
4. What is something about which people have a misconception?
5. Where do you feel the most at peace?
6. Finish this sentence. My favorite _____ is ______.
7. What are you looking forward to?
8. What was your last memorable encounter with something found in nature?
9. Hidden talents or hobbies? Something you are trying to master?
10. If you could make grilled cheese sandwiches with anyone alive or dead, who would it be? And what is your grilled cheese recipe?
11. Who are your heroes or heroines, real or fictional?
12. Are you optimistic about the future?
13. What is a smell that stops you in your tracks?
14. If you could come back as any organism, what would you come back as?
15. What is something new you’ve done recently
16. What's a small, seemingly insignificant thing that brings you immense joy or comfort
17. What's a goal or dream you've been hesitant to pursue? What's holding you back, and what's one small step you can take towards it?
18. If you could write a letter of appreciation to someone who deeply impacted your life, who would it be and what would you say?
19. Describe a time when you experienced a deep connection or understanding with another person. What made that moment special?
20. If your life had a theme song, what would it be and why?

I'm not sure that all of my answers will necessary lighten the mood, but some might. Here goes:

1. I haven't had a birthday cake for more than twenty years.
2. The hoover is very good at eliminating them quickly without unnecessary trauma (to me or the spider).
3. Pasta.
4. In the UK, the number of people who do not understand how the EU works is staggering or did you mean about me? If so, the list is very long, so you'd have to be more specific .
5. Indoors away from people or doing the parts of my job where I am in control.
6. My favourite bird is the Snipe.
7. This is a really tough question for me at the moment. Can I answer that the best thing that has happened lately is that the UK did not get blocked from this site and come back to you?
8. When a Hobby flew more or less over my head about ten or so years ago. I'd been trying to see one for years and, of course, when it finally happened, it was when I least expected it.
9. I have talents, none of them proven !
10. I actually did make something similar with my best friend way back in 2007. She had just split up with her boyfriend, was back home at her parent's and I went around there and we made grilled feta pitta bread. Nothing has ever topped that since and unless a Spanish or Nordic beauty comes along nothing will .
11. Carlos Ruíz Zafón for writing La Sombra del Viento (Shadow of the Wind). This is the only book that I have never been able to put down.
12. No. The world is in a terrible, dark place and the UK is in a dreadful state in particular.
13. Fresh strawberries or raspberries, expensive dark chocolate, or high quality honey.
14. I rather like being human, although immortality would be nice too.
15. I've had a few new experiences recently, but none of them are cheerful, so I will keep those to myself.
16. Being able to visit my parent's house during the summer and have a long holiday there.
17. Moving to another European country. Needing to find a job there and my ability to live and work in Europe having been destroyed by both Brexit and covid has resulted in those already optimistic visions trickling off the canvas like water colours in the rain.
18. To my best friend (see above), but I used to write her lots of letters when we were university students, so I already have.
19. For those of you who have ever seen Endeavour, I relate to that character so much. There are also two famous quotes that I connect with. The first is from Shadow of the Wind ('There are worse prisons than words') and the second is from Doctor Who and I will simply link the clip:

20. I can only choose one? That is not possible ! Who designed this questionnaire anyway ? I suppose right now it would have to be The Bangles and 'Set You Free' for all the relationships that I wish that I'd had, but I never did:

. Still, as Belinda Carlisle once sang 'There's no future living in the past, you can dream, but you can never go back'.

If you've made it to the end without wanting to throw metaphorical darts at me for failing abysmally to lighten the mood, I thank you . It has been a bit cathartic writing some of it out. It has been a very nine years for me.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

Depends how close I am with the person. For people I care about I'll try my damnedest to reach out and talk and try to resolve things. For people I'm not so close with, I just don't usually have the energy. But I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to make them miserable. I usually try to keep things quiet and not involve other people. But in general, it's not a problem that I have very often. I've only been harassed online or in person very rarely. Online it's usually easy enough to block or ignore folks. In person... well, if I know you in person there's a better chance you're someone I'll want to resolve things with. But again, this is mostly hypothetical. It's not that I'm so wonderful that no one has a problem with me. I just don't think most people find me interesting enough to have a beef with me to begin with.

 

[Solid_wave]

I'm not sure that all of my answers will necessary lighten the mood, but some might. Here goes:

1. I haven't had a birthday cake for more than twenty years.
2. The hoover is very good at eliminating them quickly without unnecessary trauma (to me or the spider).
3. Pasta.
4. In the UK, the number of people who do not understand how the EU works is staggering or did you mean about me? If so, the list is very long, so you'd have to be more specific .
5. Indoors away from people or doing the parts of my job where I am in control.
6. My favourite bird is the Snipe.
7. This is a really tough question for me at the moment. Can I answer that the best thing that has happened lately is that the UK did not get blocked from this site and come back to you?
8. When a Hobby flew more or less over my head about ten or so years ago. I'd been trying to see one for years and, of course, when it finally happened, it was when I least expected it.
9. I have talents, none of them proven !
10. I actually did make something similar with my best friend way back in 2007. She had just split up with her boyfriend, was back home at her parent's and I went around there and we made grilled feta pitta bread. Nothing has ever topped that since and unless a Spanish or Nordic beauty comes along nothing will .
11. Carlos Ruíz Zafón for writing La Sombra del Viento (Shadow of the Wind). This is the only book that I have never been able to put down.
12. No. The world is in a terrible, dark place and the UK is in a dreadful state in particular.
13. Fresh strawberries or raspberries, expensive dark chocolate, or high quality honey.
14. I rather like being human, although immortality would be nice too.
15. I've had a few new experiences recently, but none of them are cheerful, so I will keep those to myself.
16. Being able to visit my parent's house during the summer and have a long holiday there.
17. Moving to another European country. Needing to find a job there and my ability to live and work in Europe having been destroyed by both Brexit and covid has resulted in those already optimistic visions trickling off the canvas like water colours in the rain.
18. To my best friend (see above), but I used to write her lots of letters when we were university students, so I already have.
19. For those of you who have ever seen Endeavour, I relate to that character so much. There are also two famous quotes that I connect with. The first is from Shadow of the Wind ('There are worse prisons than words') and the second is from Doctor Who and I will simply link the clip:

20. I can only choose one? That is not possible ! Who designed this questionnaire anyway ? I suppose right now it would have to be The Bangles and 'Set You Free' for all the relationships that I wish that I'd had, but I never did:

. Still, as Belinda Carlisle once sang 'There's no future living in the past, you can dream, but you can never go back'.

If you've made it to the end without wanting to throw metaphorical darts at me for failing abysmally to lighten the mood, I thank you . It has been a bit cathartic writing some of it out. It has been a very nine years for me.

Lovely to read that someone thinks exactly the same way as I do on “Shadow of the wind”. Really a great book

 

[Mei5ter]

Depends how close I am with the person. For people I care about I'll try my damnedest to reach out and talk and try to resolve things. For people I'm not so close with, I just don't usually have the energy. But I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to make them miserable. I usually try to keep things quiet and not involve other people. But in general, it's not a problem that I have very often. I've only been harassed online or in person very rarely. Online it's usually easy enough to block or ignore folks. In person... well, if I know you in person there's a better chance you're someone I'll want to resolve things with. But again, this is mostly

I originally gave that a thumbs-up to express agreement with the post - but that looked like I was agreeing with this bit...

hypothetical. It's not that I'm so wonderful that no one has a problem with me. I just don't think most people find me interesting enough to have a beef with me to begin with.

...and I'm certainly not agreeing that no one finds you interesting - so I've changed my reaction accordingly!

But I sympathise completely with your wider point about personal energy being finite, and wanting to make the best and most positive use of it. There will be a small prize for anyone who can name the OG Dr Who episode where the Master tells the Doctor that "Hatred is Strength" - but my near-Lit-namesake was wrong in every important respect (to quote another 1980s sci-fi classic).

There are some people online, including on Lit, who have learned to be very good at being unpleasant on the Internet. There are plenty of other people online who seem to enjoy watching them do so. I have no interest in acquiring this 'talent', and seeing others exercise it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[Mei5ter]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you?

I can be touchy, but it takes quite a lot to make me properly upset with someone. Anyone who can make me that upset is probably going to be someone I'll want to salvage something with. I won't claim to be better than anyone else at difficult conversations and repairing things, but you of all people know that I've had to do that in my offline life this year, so you'll confirm that I've tried!

Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable?

No. Again...you know my star sign, and when I was much younger I was more likely to think that way. But I simply can't be bothered wasting energy on making people upset unless they've done something really unspeakable...and probably not even then? There are better and more satisfying ways to sort these things out.

Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things?

If I'm going to try to repair things with someone, I try to involve as few other people as I possibly can. I just think it's easier if we can be messy together without having to worry about what anyone else sees or hears? The more you escalate things publicly, the harder it is to scale them back. But, online and offline, there are people who feel they need to vent and share very publicly indeed. Again, you know of one offline situation I'm dealing with where someone did exactly that. I respect that not everyone keeps their feelings close as I prefer to, but when I'm doing one thing and they're doing the other, it doesn't always make reconciliation easier.

Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

Yes. I have it at work occasionally, and while it's unpleasant I have to accept it's part of my job. It sometimes involves the police, and in one case the person involved ended up going to jail for eight months (not directly for what they did online to me and my company but over related offences). It is depressingly easy for people to send anonymous emails to law enforcement and other authorities if they have a mind to, and we have to take even the most blatantly obvious malicious nonsense seriously. I'm sufficiently used to such things that I don't lose sleep over it, but it's not nice.

In my early days on Lit, I had problems with someone who - by their own admission - didn't take rejection well. They posted things on Lit threads publicly, and I didn't respond. Whether or not that was the right thing to do, I don't know, but when someone is being obnoxious to get my attention and provoke a response, my immediate reaction is not to give them what they want.

Lit is full of people vagueposting. I suppose I've been the intended target of one or two over the years, although I talk to so few people here that I tend to assume it's not me. On the very rare occasions where it (almost certainly) is, I don't dignify the post with a response, but I do just keep half an eye on who jumps in to like that particular post. It can be quite revealing