10 Reasons.......smile
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This is cool...
A Few Strange But Helpful Hints
Some helpful hints, so I'm told.....
1 Budweiser beer conditions the hair, also makes very good beer-batter for deep-fried fish.
2 Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3 Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 min
4 Mayonnaise will KILL LICE , it will also condition your hair
5 Elmer's Glue-paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the
dead skin and blackheads if any
6 Shiny Hair-use brewed Lipton Tea
7 Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8 Minor burn-Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9 Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10 Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12 Chigger bite - Preparation H
13 Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14 Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15 Stinky feet - Jell-O!!
16 Athletes feet - cornstarch
17 Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18 Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet.
19 Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20 Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21 Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22 Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23 Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24 When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25 Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
26 Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the t-shirt and soak
28 Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and ? cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29 A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30 To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31 Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32 To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33 Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with peanut butter!
34 Baked on food -fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
35 Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36 Dirty grout - Listerine
37 Stains on clothes - Colgate
38 Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39 Grease Stains- Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from batteries!
40 Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41 To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.?
42 When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness.? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday Blue --Tuesday Green --Thursday Red --Friday White --Saturday Yellow.
So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie - not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the one with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday!!! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
A Few Strange But Helpful Hints
Some helpful hints, so I'm told.....
1 Budweiser beer conditions the hair, also makes very good beer-batter for deep-fried fish.
2 Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3 Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 min
4 Mayonnaise will KILL LICE , it will also condition your hair
5 Elmer's Glue-paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the
dead skin and blackheads if any
6 Shiny Hair-use brewed Lipton Tea
7 Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8 Minor burn-Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9 Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10 Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12 Chigger bite - Preparation H
13 Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14 Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15 Stinky feet - Jell-O!!
16 Athletes feet - cornstarch
17 Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18 Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet.
19 Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20 Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21 Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22 Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23 Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24 When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25 Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
26 Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the t-shirt and soak
28 Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and ? cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29 A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30 To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31 Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32 To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33 Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with peanut butter!
34 Baked on food -fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
35 Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36 Dirty grout - Listerine
37 Stains on clothes - Colgate
38 Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39 Grease Stains- Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from batteries!
40 Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41 To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.?
42 When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness.? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday Blue --Tuesday Green --Thursday Red --Friday White --Saturday Yellow.
So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie - not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the one with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday!!! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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Julz said:Trying a 3rd time, hope it works
Staying
Julz
Weehooooo I did it & without crashing the puter or Lit LOL
Thanks Julz.....with the snow we have coming down now....could build a snowman easy.....it's a blizzard here.....
hugs you
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
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cookiejar said:
Peanut butter is also good for getting gum out of little girl's hair
Kids...gotta love them...going to sleep with gum in their mouths cause they don't want to throw it away lol
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
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STUDDOG said:Thanks Julz.....with the snow we have coming down now....could build a snowman easy.....it's a blizzard here.....
hugs you
I hate snow
Want to know where this stuff came from, it was 64 in Charlotte yesterday *stomps feet*
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
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STUDDOG said:'Chigger bite - Preparation H"......I CAN'T IMAGINE GETTING CHIGGER'S THERE.....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
HUGS YOU
Yeah, but I bet you'll never run around in the woods nakid again
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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lunarsubmissive said:Yeah, but I bet you'll never run around in the woods nakid again
Good morning hon....I just looked out and it's turning to ice on the North side of Charlotte....UGH!!!!!!
I never ran naked in the woods again...was a bad experience for sure.....
......long haired new age hippies.....what can you do with them!!!!
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
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STUDDOG said:Good morning hon....I just looked out and it's turning to ice on the North side of Charlotte....UGH!!!!!!
I never ran naked in the woods again...was a bad experience for sure.....
I'm NW, near Huntersville... *goes to look out the window* It's stopped, but there stuff on the roads that looks a little slick. Went out with the wee one this morning
Back yard is a mess now, the cat is pissed cause he got hit with a snow ball and it took me an hour to warm back up in front of the fire lol
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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lunarsubmissive said:I'm NW, near Huntersville... *goes to look out the window* It's stopped, but there stuff on the roads that looks a little slick. Went out with the wee one this morning
Yep....it's mostly sleet and freezing rain now....Oh great right!!!
And that poor cat.....lol....hope you have a great day and a good day to stay in front of a fireplace....
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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Three guys were walking in the desert, and they
found a dusty lamp and rubbed it clean. A genie
appeared and told them that he would grant a
wish to each one of them.
The first guy wished for a Ferrari and poof, he got
it.
The second guy wished for a mansion and poof,
he got it.
The third guy thought for a bit and then he wished
for his d**k to touch the ground. So the genie cut
off his legs.
==========================================
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him,
and as he sits,a small cat jumps up on the stool
beside him. The bartender comes over,and asks for
their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and
turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a
beer too." says the ostrich. The cat says "I'll have a
half beer, but I'm not paying for it" .
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be
$3.40 please", and the man reaches into his pocket
and pulls out exact change for the round.
The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again,
and the man says "I'll have a beer", and the ostrich
says "I'll have the same," and the cat says "I'll have
a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it".
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays
with exact change.This becomes a routine until, late
one evening, the trio enter again. "The usual?" asks
the bartender. "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll
have a large scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says
the ostrich. "I'll have a small scotch but I'm not
paying for it," says the cat.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again
the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any
longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always
come up with the exact change out of your pocket
every time?"
"Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was
cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I
rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for
anything,just put my hand in my pocket, and the right
amount of money will always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most
people would wish for a million dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!" "That's right! Whether it's a gallon
of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always
there." says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's
with the ostrich and the cat?" The man replies "My
second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy".
found a dusty lamp and rubbed it clean. A genie
appeared and told them that he would grant a
wish to each one of them.
The first guy wished for a Ferrari and poof, he got
it.
The second guy wished for a mansion and poof,
he got it.
The third guy thought for a bit and then he wished
for his d**k to touch the ground. So the genie cut
off his legs.
==========================================
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him,
and as he sits,a small cat jumps up on the stool
beside him. The bartender comes over,and asks for
their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and
turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a
beer too." says the ostrich. The cat says "I'll have a
half beer, but I'm not paying for it" .
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be
$3.40 please", and the man reaches into his pocket
and pulls out exact change for the round.
The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again,
and the man says "I'll have a beer", and the ostrich
says "I'll have the same," and the cat says "I'll have
a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it".
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays
with exact change.This becomes a routine until, late
one evening, the trio enter again. "The usual?" asks
the bartender. "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll
have a large scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says
the ostrich. "I'll have a small scotch but I'm not
paying for it," says the cat.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again
the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any
longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always
come up with the exact change out of your pocket
every time?"
"Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was
cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I
rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for
anything,just put my hand in my pocket, and the right
amount of money will always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most
people would wish for a million dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!" "That's right! Whether it's a gallon
of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always
there." says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's
with the ostrich and the cat?" The man replies "My
second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy".
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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An Irish prayer
Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze
in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running
down his leg. "Please Lord", he implored, "let it
be blood!!"
Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze
in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running
down his leg. "Please Lord", he implored, "let it
be blood!!"
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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An Irish man went to his first American baseball game.
As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling,
"RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up as well yelling,
"Run, laddie! Run laddie!"
The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again
cheered, "RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up yelling,
"Run laddie! Run laddie!"
The third batter got up got ball 1... ball 2 ... ball 3 ... ball 4.
The umpire yelled, "Take your base!" The batter jogged
to the base. The Irish man jumped up and yelled, "Run
laddie! Run laddie!"
Another fan looked at him and said, "He does not need
to run, for he has four balls!" The Irish man's jaw dropped,
and he turned and said, "Walk with pride, lad! Walk with
pride!"
===========================================
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini
after martini, each time removing the olives and
placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with
olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman
started to leave.
"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled
over what McQuillan had done, "what was that
all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me
out for a jar of olives!"
============================================
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of
drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers.
I'll
give $500 American to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of
Guinness
back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.
One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left
shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still
good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says it is and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of
Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses
drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If you don't mind me
asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes that you were gone.
The Irishman replies, "Oh! I had to go to the pub down the street to see
if I could do it first."
As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling,
"RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up as well yelling,
"Run, laddie! Run laddie!"
The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again
cheered, "RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up yelling,
"Run laddie! Run laddie!"
The third batter got up got ball 1... ball 2 ... ball 3 ... ball 4.
The umpire yelled, "Take your base!" The batter jogged
to the base. The Irish man jumped up and yelled, "Run
laddie! Run laddie!"
Another fan looked at him and said, "He does not need
to run, for he has four balls!" The Irish man's jaw dropped,
and he turned and said, "Walk with pride, lad! Walk with
pride!"
===========================================
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini
after martini, each time removing the olives and
placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with
olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman
started to leave.
"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled
over what McQuillan had done, "what was that
all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me
out for a jar of olives!"
============================================
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of
drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers.
I'll
give $500 American to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of
Guinness
back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.
One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left
shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still
good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says it is and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of
Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses
drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If you don't mind me
asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes that you were gone.
The Irishman replies, "Oh! I had to go to the pub down the street to see
if I could do it first."
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
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- Nov 12, 2002
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Sharing Nuts
On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucket with nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered. "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery."
He cycled down the road as fast as he could and found an old man hobbling along with a cane. "Come here quick," said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's find out if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, but they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought-iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucket with nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered. "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery."
He cycled down the road as fast as he could and found an old man hobbling along with a cane. "Come here quick," said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's find out if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, but they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought-iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
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- 44,512
Good Can Of Corn
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained
"Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question
"Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me!"
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"That's O.K.," says the husband, "we were banned from Safeway, too."
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained
"Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question
"Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me!"
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"That's O.K.," says the husband, "we were banned from Safeway, too."
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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