21 y/o virgin. What to do? When did you lose your virginity? All genders welcome.

[Cyann]

So tell me, oh wise and powerful Literotica community, what should I do?
Advice? Opinions? Stories? Also, when and how did you lose your own virginity? Do you regret the way you did?

I was 18 (and a half) and it was some guy I worked with at McDonald's. I liked him, though--he was fun and hot (kind of a bad boy, too. And I was a very church-going young lady). I only regret that I wasn't more experienced when I met him, because I really could have shown him a good time. Fast forward 25 - 30 years and I tried to find him on Facebook but his last name is Smith lol! and his first name is almost as common. Oh well.

 

[k_m_d_]

I'm not telling.

I don't see why you think it's improbable that you'll find a girl who just wants sex. Lot's of young women want sex and not the commitment of a relationship.

Those kind of women don't particularly seek out our type of guy, and if they ever do, we're too dense to recognize and act on it.

 

[sheldonfan11]

I was 16 hanging out with some of buddies and I was dating a 24 yr old we were talking and I told my friends I think I'm gonna have sex with her one of my friends says lol yea right then I walked away they asked me where I was going I said to have sex and then I did the end.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Dive In

Relax. Take a deep breath. It will happen when it happens. If you force it, for whatever reason, by whatever method, that is where you are likely to wander into the territory of regret.

The first time I had sex she was, gasp, an older woman! LOL - it was her idea, but I was all there for it. I never regretted it. It was the most exciting 10 seconds of my young life. Fortunately, we all get better. Mostly.

Some random advice - if you have no problems getting dates, friendships, relationships, but just can't seem to close the deal - perhaps a better question to ask would be - how do the people of Lit close the deal, or how did they close the deal the first time. For me, it was just a matter of saying yes that first time - and she basically just flat out asked if I wanted to after some heavy flirting.

As an adult, with years of experience, I generally close the deal by just - diving in, flirt, flirt furiousily, and then flat out ask (politely, honestly, and straight-forward). Usually, once the flirtation has gone on for a while I just flat out say something like "Damn, you are so sexy, I would really like to take you back to my (house, hotel room) and spend the evening making love to you." Or something to that effect. Communication is tangled with crossed signals, so uncross them and dive in.

 

[Christopher2012]

When I was 0-years-old, my entire body was thrusted out of a woman's vagina. Does that count? Because I'm betting there's a lot of BDSMers out there who dream of shit like that.

 

[Reba67]

so i'm going 24 and still a virgin (in terms of no one/no things had entered my treasure hole), but i'm sexually active in terms of masturbating, sucking cocks, etc (all non-penetrative acts). my bf is going 26 now, and yet still a virgin too. i'm his first gf and so he is to me. we agreed not to have any penetrative sex-act, yet still experiencing the pleasure of sex. the penetration stuff will be saved for later as a gift on our wedding (hopefully...). commitment and trust had to be build first. it was not until our second year of relationship, when i had my first touch and view of a man's real cock, and my first experience to had my breast shown to a man and get caressed. everything went up small degrees at a time, after i get used to touch his cock i started to learn how to stroke and give him the pleasure by hand. months after the hand job, i learned how to use my mouth and make him cum without getting scrubbed with my teeth. the same goes for him, started with my breast, he learned how to caress it with hands, then with tongue. the lesson went further to explore my cunt, running fingers and tongue on it. all one step at a time. it's almost 5 years and we're doing just great.

the point is (from my point of view), any sex act should be based on a relationship, not a one-off occasion. the desire of having one should be built up naturally. then you may have a commitment on how far it will be. do not be afraid of not doing it right at first time, it's a process of exploring the new world. that's where a relationship and trust come in handy. open conversation will lead your way to the excitement

::just my share::

This is very similar to my experience with my husband. We started dating when I turned 30, him 32. Both of us virgins. We very very slowly progressed to more and more sex stuff, but no penetration until we got married at 34/36.

I sure WANTED to have sex earlier, but similar to other people who have posted, I just hadn't found the right person to do it with yet.

 

[JamieJ424]

I was 18, she was uh...experienced...the first time I let the genie out of the bottle. I lived in Fremantle, she lived in Dawesville like 60 miles away, and I drove down there every weekend after that. I was an idiot.

J

 

[bailadora]

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I noticed a few posters above me mentioning ages that are below the legal age of consent in the US (18). I understand that you might be located outside the US and that the age of consent might be different where you are, but since this site is US based, we have to follow US law. Which doesn't permit talking about underage sex (by US standards) of any kind. Please amend your posts so we can keep this site from running afoul of any US laws. Plus - it'll save our board mod from having to do it for you. Thanks!

 

[Christopher2012]

And you've spent your whole life trying to get back in one.

Haha funny...

 

[Christopher2012]

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I noticed a few posters above me mentioning ages that are below the legal age of consent in the US (18). I understand that you might be located outside the US and that the age of consent might be different where you are, but since this site is US based, we have to follow US law. Which doesn't permit talking about underage sex (by US standards) of any kind. Please amend your posts so we can keep this site from running afoul of any US laws. Plus - it'll save our board mod from having to do it for you. Thanks!

My post about me when I was 0-years-old was what triggered this post, I'm guessing.

On a serious note, I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to say an age when you lost your virginity.

 

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

My post about me when I was 0-years-old was what triggered this post, I'm guessing.

On a serious note, I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to say an age when you lost your virginity.

It's against site rules to discuss sex and people who are less than 18.

As far as US law, each state gets to set its own age of consent and only a few have set it at 18, but 18's the relevant age for the Federal laws about transporting someone across state lines to have sex, traveling to have sex with someone, communicating across state lines to plan sex with someone, etc. And for taking pictures. Also, 18's the age of consent in California and so most times characters in a movie or TV show talk about an age of consent it's 18, regardless of the actual age of consent in the setting's jurisdiction. I blame laziness.

Moot point, since the OP probably would've been overjoyed to lose his virginity as young as 18. I know I would've. But Laurel's rules must be obeyed.

 

[Christopher2012]

It's against site rules to discuss sex and people who are less than 18.

As far as US law, each state gets to set its own age of consent and only a few have set it at 18, but 18's the relevant age for the Federal laws about transporting someone across state lines to have sex, traveling to have sex with someone, communicating across state lines to plan sex with someone, etc. And for taking pictures. Also, 18's the age of consent in California and so most times characters in a movie or TV show talk about an age of consent it's 18, regardless of the actual age of consent in the setting's jurisdiction. I blame laziness.

Moot point, since the OP probably would've been overjoyed to lose his virginity as young as 18. I know I would've. But Laurel's rules must be obeyed.

Ah, okay. I'll take back the 0-years-old post then.

 

[Mainly_Me]

Another one of those lost frustrated types signing in, 28 and still nothing

I have been attracted to many women over the years, but never had the courage to do anything about it. Always waiting for Little Miss right to turn up and know the script, ahh well.

I dont know if Lit and the internet in general has helped or hindered the situation, reading these forums certainly makes me very jealous.

I have always shied away from dating websites, always afraid of someone I know irl seeing me on there.

 

[lynn-23]

I guess I am not allowed to say when it was i lot my virginity. If you know what I mean. He was a grade ahead of me. It wasnt very good and I later wished it hadn't happened. He turned out to be a not very nice person and he certainly didnt deserve to take my virginity. It upsets me that I gave him that privilege. I wish I had waited. You certainly don't need to wait for a soul mate (unless you want to) or even someone you are in love with. But you should at least make sure it is someone you trust and respect.

 

[SithLord13]

I was 21 going on 22, as with everyone else, I wanted to and had several friends try to hook me up with your so called "easy girls" but even with them I was intimidated and even a bit scared of some of them. I ended up losing it to a girl I was friends with, and I had invited her over one night and I actually made a move, next thing I know we're making out, then about 3 hours later I was in the saddle. We got married about a year later and divorced about 9 years later. I kinda remember being disappointed like "that's it? Whats the big deal?" Sex is ok but a real relationship is better overall.

 

[subwannabe]

I was 25. You do need to get out in the world man. You must be spending too much time on the internet and too much time masturbating. Just find someone to date. You don't have to fuck them if you don't want to. You can't get to second base until you get to first base first. Start dating and then sex and marriage will come in due time. I met my current wife on an internet dating site.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I was 22. It was on my wedding night. Yup. I'm that angelic. Only one partner. Practically a virgin still. I have mostly no regrets. I mean, there is the part of me that wants to have sex with every girl I see. But that's the part I can't let control me. I'm thankful for my choice. I don't have any horror stories. It's not for everyone. Not at all. But it worked for me.

However, the losing of one's virginity isn't always fireworks and what have you. There is awkwardness. Sex is a weird thing, as wonderful as it is. Lots of vulnerability and all. So, do it with someone you won't regret. (sorry, I'm taken)