30 Poems in 30 Days (Redux)

[Moochienanu]

7-5

Perilous

I haven’t learned how to do this
So most days I’m making it all up
How to act
How to feel
How to be
A head above the clouds
Don’t let them see you cry
Walk the line
Climb the rope
Feel the pain
Sinking in just between the ribs
Count one two three four
Let the air escape
A whoosh and deep breath
The sigh and your hand in mine
Holding the knife
Then the driver
And they already know
I’m a large gauge prolene girl
Blue is the colour of your eyes
After a storm

 

[Moochienanu]

7-6

This Just In

breaking
like news banners
flying across the bottom
of a life staring
into screens full
of tragedies unfurling
and playing out
with lives half lived
in the scraping
sounds of cutlery
against the plate
tired gnashing
as the machine of life
chews each piece
of this elephant
before swallowing

 

[Moochienanu]

7-7

And

I can’t think
Of anything else today
And it’s all your fault

You just had to tell me
That you were thinking
Of your tongue on my clit,
Didn't you?

And…

You just haaaad to say
That you think I look best
Without pants on,
Didn’t you?

And…

You just haaaaaad to
Leave me for work because
It’s Monday,
Didn’t you?

And it’s all your fault
I can’t think
Of anything else today

 

[Moochienanu]

7-8

no Direction

my mind is still spinning
feeling each kiss over again
when my eyes close
the ground disappears
floating like this
there’s nothing to cling to
but the sound of your laugh
I missing each warm
syllable of your heart
drumming itself against me
as the words we keep
for only us
for only each other
showing their direction
I’ve known always
and had no map for
until I saw it written
in the crinkles of your smile -
the path spinning in my mind
leads me directly
to you.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-9

Found in the center

I hear your voice
Each word, how you would say it
The sounds of your breaths between
And the other small noises
That simply can’t be contained

I feel your need
As the clock moves us closer
This desire is a glowing fire
No longer quenched to embers
It blazes hot and deep

Found right here,
In the center
Between us
Shared
Ours.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-10

Desire

It’s all-consuming
This need to
feel you
hear you
touch you
know you.
The world stops
When I let myself
think of the next time
Even when
I don’t mean to
Because I don’t
Want to be
too much
too hard
too needy
too forward.
The thoughts of you
Out in the world
Having a good time
Without me beside you
Make me feel
so happy
so jealous
so curious
so wanting.
I struggle inside
With this desire
For you in ways
I know I will never have
And have come to terms with
But still want.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-11

Scared

I’m genuinely scared
Of losing you
Again.

I don’t want to be there
Pacing the living room
Crying ugly
While friends try to console
The last pieces of myself
I held on to.

I can’t go through another
November without
Telling you
How much my love for you
Grows daily
Or how the need for a
Next first fills
So many of my waking thoughts.

Please, keep me.
Please, don’t let me feel that again.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-12

Future

We can’t see it
Can’t know what it brings
With it’s new days
And years ahead,
But there’s the knowledge
The unstumbling certainty
That we will be

 

[Moochienanu]

7-13

Dresses

I’ll never have a picture -
Not a proper one, anyway -
Of us together.
I grieved the loss of a token
So very blatant long ago
And put it aside for
Much more important things.
Where I keep my memories of us
Is in clothing
Which I can keep always -
To wear you here
With me
Over and over again.

Yesterday I wore
The same dress
That you couldn’t get
Off me fast enough
That first time we spent
A whole night together.

The day before
I wore the tights
From that first time
We sat together
And you called me yours.

You see, I don’t need
Pictures of us
Because I have something
So much better -
You.

*author note to self: I should revisit this idea, it’s not quite right yet, but I like the concept.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-14

another sob story

I don’t have the words
They’re not flowing
They’re not moving themselves
From thought to fingertip
The way they do
When an idea is had -
That round piece of light
I’m constantly grasping for
Today slipped away,
So this is all I’m left with:
Empty words on a page

 

[Moochienanu]

7-15

Overthink

I never thought
it could be like this
with the constant desire
the ache so far reaching
that the end of each day
would bring the break
of another that simply
fills me with joy
and also pain
thinking of the fact that
everything ends
nothing stays the same
but catching up
falling behind
it all feels like a blur
of how much I need this
a moment to think
to have thoughts
to overthink every action
every inaction
I could have been better
I can be better
I will be better

 

[Moochienanu]

7-15

The pull

It’s in the middle these days
Where life feels like jagged edges cutting
But I don’t want to give in

Numbed to the thoughts
Of deep bruises bubbling to the surface
Under my own hand
In the midst of such beauty around me
I keep my hand still

Waiting as a patient flower does
For the sun to rise
And shine upon her

The pull to stay
Keeping myself with air in lungs
With blood circulating
Is tethered to thoughts
That hang off a cliff
Beckoning with the most tantalizing
Warmth of rest.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-17

Music to my ears

I need you to stay
This is our song
Let’s dance
And forget everything else
But the feel
Of your hand holding mine
And the smell of your perfume
Filling me with confidence
Enough to rest my cheek
On your shoulder
As the melody plays
Our whole life stays
Right here with me
Always.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-18

Immersion

I’m in so fucking deep now
the anxiety says
there’s an end, but I don’t see it
or where it even all began
so I’ll keep going
knowing only that, without this
there would be sleepless nights anyway
full of ectopic thoughts that
make my body ache
to be next to yours again

 

[Moochienanu]

7-19

Feral

the deep growl of desire
runs over exposed skin
shivers of ecstasy
in the wake
firm smacks
greedy hands
taking what they need
which is everything

 

[Moochienanu]

7-20

run-on

it feels like nothing stands in my way
from just leaping into this
wandering down unknown roads
finding unsteady ground on the journey
as the world around changes
from things that were once known so well
transforming into unexplored terrain
as the tired body you cherish
falls around your feet in pieces
needing nothing more than
to be lifted up into your arms
treasured the way you did once
as the light of a rising sun
filled a room that knew nothing
of warmth until your smile
touched it.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-21

Double spaces

just walking my fingers
through pages of garbage
to show what I could find

don’t really even care
about this pre-selected topic
ten pages can’t contain

keyboard screaming for respite
days of this punishment
only to start the next tomorrow

 

[Moochienanu]

7-22

to cook a Moochie

place me in your warmth
a bath of your skin
conforming to each curve
a comfort found nowhere else

envelope me in your heat
allow lapping against
places only explored
by a deft touch as I squirm

let the remains simmer
this morsel is slowly blooming
rising after a deep knead
don’t stop watching my rise

 

[Moochienanu]

7-23

Firelight

this is a heat stoked by loving hands
filling the space within
such warmth seeps into crevasses
makes a home deep inside
burns away any chill

hard work to put in
but worth every moment
building a pyre from breath

 

[Moochienanu]

7-24

Good Girl

I want nothing more
than to feel your words
telling me

it’s the air re-inflating
my lungs that were empty
moments before

it’s the concert of life
playing out in my heart
with your voice

it’s the first kiss
all over again
levitating my whole body
never to touch ground again

so please
please, Daddy
tell me I’m yours.

 

[Moochienanu]

7-25

in and out

In
deep breath
sucked through the teeth
careful hand
Not too far
tunnel under
make a home
but it’s the push
Out
that has a wince
and a wish
there was more
than just one
so you press
In
another bevel up
no nerve untouched
a sigh escapes
the feelings flooding
as eyes fill
and the tears pour
Out

 

[Moochienanu]

7-26

Mornings are Nights

we whisper good mornings
my heavy eyes waiting
before fingertips of kisses
fly out to find their targets

hoping to catch a glimpse
of your voice again
I wake to your lips
with warm good nights upon them

 

[Moochienanu]

7-27

I’m running

you’re so close I can almost taste
the sweetness that thickens each breath
when you’re near
my heart pounds a rhythm
each mile to you is footfalls

 

[Moochienanu]

7-28

feels like

following the spiral
this feels like nothing else
as the gravity flips
deep in the gut
wondering whether
a kiss can be more
when it turns into everything

going along as the song
this feels like nothing else
playing over again
melodic sounds mixing
knowing now
everything can come
from a single kiss

 

[Moochienanu]

7-29

Title

your eyes find mine
every time since the first
flurries of electric snow
climb up my spine
anticipating that first touch
which leads to more

the thrill of your voice
every time since the first
perfect thunderstorms
collide in my stomach
full of needy thoughts
ready for the next first