A Little Advice Please

[Guest]

I have found myself extremely attracted to a woman I work with. She is very smart, funny, and pretty. She has a lot of spunk and speaks her mind, qualities I look for in a girl. The problem is that she is seeing someone and he has asked her to marry him and she has accepted. Up to and past this revelation, she has given me some indication that she may or may not be interested in me. However, because we work together and I do consider her a friend, I have viewed the possible signs as harmless. She and I have a good working relationship and a good personal (friends) relationship. I have noticed my attraction to her growing (no pun intended) more and more, only because I am unsure how to take her actions and responses to me. If I was able to decipher these "signs" better, it would solve a lot of unnecessary speculation. You see, I have noticed that when I am attracted to someone, I cannot see what normally would be obvious. I have tried to be sly about finding out, with no luck. So I ask that you read some of these "signs" and help decode them.

1) We take most of our breaks together. She gets disappointed, and sometimes annoyed, if we can't take our break together.

2) Before work, we smoke a cigarette together outside. Usually I get there first and go inside and get something to drink and go back out. The other day I went out a different door and went to meet her at the smoking area. She was scoping out the door I usually come out.

3) She sometimes stands too close. I did a little test one time, and took a step back and she took a step closer. Normally this is an obvious one, but like I said I am an idiot when I am attracted to the person.

4) One time she stood really too close so that my knee came to rest on a certain lower part of her anatomy. She stood there for two minutes and I didn't move my knee. It was very obvious to me where my knee was and she had to have known as well. It made giving report to the next shift very difficult.

5) She told me that usually hooks up with a guy at work, and so far she hasn't done that here yet.

6) The other day, she touched my left shoulder and slid her hand down and to the right of my back, as she walked behind me.

7) She told me that she had an idea of what my "perfect woman" was, and it was completely opposite of her. She based one of the criteria on a statement by me, that I have never gotten involved with a blonde (all the girls I have been involved with happened to be dark haired). She is blonde, I have since told her that it the hair color doesn't matter to me.

While these are not all the questionable signs, they are I think the most questionable. I have tried to read her so-called body language with no luck. So, what do you think?

 

[plasticman33]

Why don't you just ask her out? Dinner in a quiet, romantic place and see how things go.

 

[mritsme]

hmmm

sounds like she could be interested or is this just a strong friendship? I would prob think she is interested there is only one way to find out ask..

or maybe get a few friends at work to get together for dinner or a party invite her and see how she acts and get some one on one time in away from work.

or just hit on her at work open the door put your arm around her once in while work your way up to bigger if she likes it she won't stop it if she doesn't she will tell you.

good luck keep us informed.

 

[cymbidia]

Why don't you just ask her if that's the case - straight out?

As far as i'm concerned, nothing beats a direct route to determining the truth of emotional/erotic interests. You can second-guess yourself all day long and still be wrong, or right, or wrong, but wait - maybe right. Unless you're a total emotional masochist, that approach sucks.

So ask.

If you're wrong, so be it.
If you're right, then you have some thinking to do.

Do you want to get physically and (more) emotionally involved with a woman who is planning to marry someone else in the somewhat near future? Why would she want to get involved with you (or anyone who is not her fiancee) at such a time?

Ask.
Straight out.
Don't mince words.
Be sweet and tender about asking - but do it.
Say the words.
Don't mince around the edges.

But *don't* do the romantic dinner thing. She's engaged for gods sakes. Just ask at work, over one of those cigs you share, in a familiar environment.

You'll get some peace of mind with your answers if you do.
You'll remain confused and unsure if you do not.

This is, of course, only what i would do in my life, only my perspective on the matter of not knowing something of an interpersonal nature that i felt was important i understand.

 

[aminal]

does she:

touch her hair or skin while she talks to you?
touch you unnecessarily?
smile at you across the room when you make eye contact?
joke about dating you?

If the answer to these is yes, your in with a chance, might be worth just asking her for a few drinks after work one friday night.

however does she:
talk about sex with you?
talk about her fiance a lot with you
call you honey or darling or any other pet name.

because if the answer to these is yes, then you're less likey and more likley she thinks of you as a good friend rather than anything more.

let us know how it goes.

 

[tupak187]

if your shy

if you are too shy to ask her out... maybe an alternate method may be ur key.. try an email or something.. let her know how you feel about her.