Prometheus2
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2004
- Posts
- 107
When I heard her say that she wanted me I had become thoroughly confused. Her body had spoken to me that way just a few minutes ago but now that our passion had subsided, was her mind speaking her need as well. Then when she asked me to express my feelings, it all came together. In order for her mind to accept me as her body had she needed my comittment in the form of those three special words, 'I love you.' And I knew I had to lie.
It would have been easy just to say the “I love you.” because I did love her. It was more than sex we were having, there was love behind my passion and need. I had felt it from the first moment I had met her, but now when forced to think about it, realized just how much I loved and wanted her.
Eeven if it meant the end of something beautiful between us, I needed to lie. I couldn’t put her through the torture of knowing of my love. She belonged to someone else for gods sake. She might have thought she wanted me to be honest but if I was she would be forced to choose between my love and Alan’s. It would be better in the long run for her to think of me as a brief affair. When it was over she could go back to her husband and even though she may feel guilty about her indiscretions at least she wouldn’t have the burden of knowing someone else loved her as much as Alan did, maybe more. If she did choose me and gave up her love for Alan, she would have to forget her past, leave it all behind for something and someone new. Or, if she choose to love us both, was she liberated enough to go down that road, or for that matter would I be and in the long run Alan too, for surely in time he would realize he was sharing Sarah's love with someone else. No I had to lie, for her sake, for Alan's sake and for mine.
My silence proved to be an asset for when I finally spoke I saw what I believed to be look of acceptance on her face. As if my silence meant to her that I was searching the depths of my soul for the answer. My lie would be accepted by her as truth.
“ It’s too soon Sarah... I need some time I wish I could say I love you but ...no.... It’s just too soon...for me... to know.” Again my pauses, my indecisiveness seemed to satisfy her or so it seemed for she took my hand and touched it to her lips and kissed it softly.
“I understand.” she said, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. I looked away not sure if she really did, and feeling a sadness overcome me, tried to hide a tear of my own. There was nothing more to say. I pulled her into my arms and held her, rocking her gently.
It would have been easy just to say the “I love you.” because I did love her. It was more than sex we were having, there was love behind my passion and need. I had felt it from the first moment I had met her, but now when forced to think about it, realized just how much I loved and wanted her.
Eeven if it meant the end of something beautiful between us, I needed to lie. I couldn’t put her through the torture of knowing of my love. She belonged to someone else for gods sake. She might have thought she wanted me to be honest but if I was she would be forced to choose between my love and Alan’s. It would be better in the long run for her to think of me as a brief affair. When it was over she could go back to her husband and even though she may feel guilty about her indiscretions at least she wouldn’t have the burden of knowing someone else loved her as much as Alan did, maybe more. If she did choose me and gave up her love for Alan, she would have to forget her past, leave it all behind for something and someone new. Or, if she choose to love us both, was she liberated enough to go down that road, or for that matter would I be and in the long run Alan too, for surely in time he would realize he was sharing Sarah's love with someone else. No I had to lie, for her sake, for Alan's sake and for mine.
My silence proved to be an asset for when I finally spoke I saw what I believed to be look of acceptance on her face. As if my silence meant to her that I was searching the depths of my soul for the answer. My lie would be accepted by her as truth.
“ It’s too soon Sarah... I need some time I wish I could say I love you but ...no.... It’s just too soon...for me... to know.” Again my pauses, my indecisiveness seemed to satisfy her or so it seemed for she took my hand and touched it to her lips and kissed it softly.
“I understand.” she said, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. I looked away not sure if she really did, and feeling a sadness overcome me, tried to hide a tear of my own. There was nothing more to say. I pulled her into my arms and held her, rocking her gently.
Last edited: