A question of love

[sunfox]

I'm afraid I fall under the 'never the first to say those three little words' grouping. I always kept a tidy little pile of admirers around, without ever having to offer the finality of love.. the rule was always that it's fine to love me, but if you push me about love, you'll never hear from me again. I still have a tendency to attract people to love me.. I'm not sure why, because honestly, I'm really a pain in the ass. C calls my harem of male friends that have crushes/think they're in love my stalkers. He's not jealous, and in fact tends to be amused by their antics... most of them are friends of his as well.

I don't feel love is something to be tossed around cheaply, or said just because someone else did. I appreciate love, but I'm not obligated to return it. That way, it actually means something when I do say it.

All I can say is that you're not doing her any favors by saying you love her if you don't. In the short term, she may not see that. But in the long term, it'll save her a lot of pain.

 

[rosco rathbone]

^^^female version of me.

 

[curiousjen]

I said "I love you" to my SO within a week of knowing him. Which was fast, even for someone so soppy as me.

He looked embarrased, then shrugged and said, "well I don't love you! It's far too soon"

Although his words stung and I was upset he told me to stop being silly and bought me a pint. Even through the tears (i was only 19) I respected him for telling it to me straight. When, a few months later, he finally did get around to saying it, it meant far more than if he'd have just said it at the start to please me.

Now its like a verbal tic between us we can't stop saying it!

The time will come when you know it is right. Until then, whatever the consequences, I'd refrain from saying the L word, even if it does make things easier at the time.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Love

I say I love you alot....but to me each case of love is different. I guess the point is that you should not say it if you don't really mean it. I can't speeak for the average female..but I know that when someone sez I love you to me, 9 times outta 10 I assume they are saying it because they think I want to hear it.
(Especially when I have said those words to them first) Point blank, don't use em unless you mean them. It is possible for someone to say the words and not need them in return...I know I don't.

 

[sunfox]

^^^female version of me.

Stop, rosco.. you're gonna make me blush.

 

[bridgeburner]

I say I love you all the time but it's within the context of family and close friends. I never hang up the phone with my brother or parents that we don't say "I love you." But my family is really demonstrative both verbally and physically. My close friends and I tell each other "I love you" as well, but it's friend love not romantic love.

Lovers are another thing entirely. I've had some serious, big-time crushes but I've only ever been in love once and hard as I try to recall, I don't think I ever said straight out to him "I love you." This was primarily because I knew he didn't feel the same way and it would have been not only humiliating for me but uncomfortable for him as well.

A couple of guys have really jumped the gun with me laying out the L-word and my response has always been "Wow. That's really flattering but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. It's too soon." Unfortunately, rather than backing off, they tended to try and push me to respond in a similar manner or bludgeon me with repetitions of their devotion rather than giving me time and space to possibly grow into love with them.

Besides, what they felt for me wasn't "love". It was a crush. A heady rush of you're a really cool person and I'm sexually attracted to you. So, these things fizzled pretty quickly, but nobody's ever hated me because of it and I'm still friendly with the ones I run into from time to time.

-B

 

[shy slave]

I say LOVE YOU alot but its to my pay check, chocolate bars and handbags.
Not MASTERS, Doms and men in general ~ unless they are holding one of there forementioned things I say 'love you' too.

 

[Mist S]

Lol, Marquis you tried that before, and it failed then too.

Ahh but Aeroil...perhaps I did say that...

 

[chris9]

Love

Hey Marquis,
I guess it's quite hard to find out when to say "I love you". In romantic movies it takes at the very most 1 1/2 hours to get there. So many, both men and women, may say it too early because they think it's expected from them.
And probably the younger and more unexperienced you are, you tend to mix up the crash, the very powerful feeling of being sexual together, being very close, being really thought as a sexy, beautiful person and the deep feeling of love that you just don't know yet.
Adding to that: Women can get pregnant having sex. So there might just be the ever so slight fear in the back that this guy fucking me might become father of some children of mine. So I want -unconsciously- bind him to me to be safe he's still there when I find out and then sticks around for the next two decades until the baby grows up. And how can a girl bind a guy to her if not by love?
Just my thoughts on the subject, I'm not sure it's all right, but hey, in love there just is no right or wrong other than what's felt...