A Southern Voice
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babydoll2u
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lol.. I am toobamagirl said:
babydoll2u
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absolutely not..bamagirl said:
bobwhitecrow
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Southern Fried Humor
Did you hear about the Arkansas hillbilly who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
“Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How ‘bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”
How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink” and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
What do they call reruns of “Hee Haw” in Mississippi?
A documentary.
How many rednecks does it take eat a ‘possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Why did God invent armadillos?
So that Texas rednecks can have ‘possum on the halfshell.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to thedriver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, “Bout what?”
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
Yep. Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they’re still brother and sister.
What’s the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
I-40.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane inFlorida have in common?
Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a trailer.
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door,telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My House is on fire!”
“OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”
“Shucks, don’t you still have those big red trucks?”
Did you hear about the Arkansas hillbilly who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
“Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How ‘bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”
How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink” and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
What do they call reruns of “Hee Haw” in Mississippi?
A documentary.
How many rednecks does it take eat a ‘possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Why did God invent armadillos?
So that Texas rednecks can have ‘possum on the halfshell.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to thedriver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, “Bout what?”
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
Yep. Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they’re still brother and sister.
What’s the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
I-40.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane inFlorida have in common?
Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a trailer.
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door,telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My House is on fire!”
“OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”
“Shucks, don’t you still have those big red trucks?”
Last edited:
babydoll2u
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bobwhitecrow said:
a_sweet_juicy_peach
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lol....next
bobwhitecrow
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A Swiss Miss
Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through Switzerland.
Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep.
He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend
the night. The farmer told him that it would be all right,
and that he could sleep in the barn. The man went into the barn to
bed down, and the farmer went back into the house.
The farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and asked her father,
"Who was that man going into the barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. He needed a
place to stay for the night, so I said that he could sleep in the barn.
The daughter then asked, "Did you offer the man anything to eat"?
"Gee, no, I didn't," the farmer answered.
The daughter said, "Well, I'm going to take him some food."
She went into the kitchen, prepared a plate of food, and then took it
out to the barn. The daughter was in the barn for an hour before returning
to the house. When she came back in, her clothes were all disheveled and
buttoned up wrong, and she had several strands of straw tangled up in her
long blond hair. She immediately went up the stairs to her bedroom and
went to sleep.
A little later, the farmer's wife came down and asked her husband why their
daughter went to bed so early.
"I don't know," said the farmer. "I told a man that he could sleep in the barn,
and our daughter took him some food."
"Oh," replied the wife. "Well, did you offer the man anything to drink?"
"Umm, no, I didn't," said the farmer.
The wife then said, "I'm going to take something out there for him to drink."
The wife went to the cellar,got a bottle of wine, then went out to the barn.
She did not return for over an hour, and when she come back into the house,
her clothes were also messed up, and she had straw twisted into her blond hair.
She went straight up the stairs and into bed.
The next morning at sunrise, the man in the barn got up and continued on his
journey, waving to the farmer as he left the farm.
A few hours later, the daughter woke up and came rushing downstairs. She went
right out to the barn, only to find it empty. She ran back into the house.
"Where's the man from the barn?" she eagerly asked her father.
Her father answered, "He left several minutes ago."
"What?" she cried. "He left without saying goodbye? After all we had
together? I mean, last night he made such passionate love to me."
"What?" shouted the father. The farmer ran out into the front yard
looking for the man, but by now the man was halfway up the side of
the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm gonna get you!
You had sex with my daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hands
next to his mouth, and yelled out, "I LAID THE OLADEE TOO!"
And that's how Yodeling Began.
a_sweet_juicy_peach said:
Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through Switzerland.
Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep.
He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend
the night. The farmer told him that it would be all right,
and that he could sleep in the barn. The man went into the barn to
bed down, and the farmer went back into the house.
The farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and asked her father,
"Who was that man going into the barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. He needed a
place to stay for the night, so I said that he could sleep in the barn.
The daughter then asked, "Did you offer the man anything to eat"?
"Gee, no, I didn't," the farmer answered.
The daughter said, "Well, I'm going to take him some food."
She went into the kitchen, prepared a plate of food, and then took it
out to the barn. The daughter was in the barn for an hour before returning
to the house. When she came back in, her clothes were all disheveled and
buttoned up wrong, and she had several strands of straw tangled up in her
long blond hair. She immediately went up the stairs to her bedroom and
went to sleep.
A little later, the farmer's wife came down and asked her husband why their
daughter went to bed so early.
"I don't know," said the farmer. "I told a man that he could sleep in the barn,
and our daughter took him some food."
"Oh," replied the wife. "Well, did you offer the man anything to drink?"
"Umm, no, I didn't," said the farmer.
The wife then said, "I'm going to take something out there for him to drink."
The wife went to the cellar,got a bottle of wine, then went out to the barn.
She did not return for over an hour, and when she come back into the house,
her clothes were also messed up, and she had straw twisted into her blond hair.
She went straight up the stairs and into bed.
The next morning at sunrise, the man in the barn got up and continued on his
journey, waving to the farmer as he left the farm.
A few hours later, the daughter woke up and came rushing downstairs. She went
right out to the barn, only to find it empty. She ran back into the house.
"Where's the man from the barn?" she eagerly asked her father.
Her father answered, "He left several minutes ago."
"What?" she cried. "He left without saying goodbye? After all we had
together? I mean, last night he made such passionate love to me."
"What?" shouted the father. The farmer ran out into the front yard
looking for the man, but by now the man was halfway up the side of
the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm gonna get you!
You had sex with my daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hands
next to his mouth, and yelled out, "I LAID THE OLADEE TOO!"
And that's how Yodeling Began.
I am hooked.........
Spent some time in Texas and found that those lovely southern accents ( not just Texas ones !) are absolutley delectable! Especially when spoken by a wonderful southern lady in the midst of her own personal"heat wave"!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh close my eyes I can hear them now!
Maybe later if I'm lucky? LOL
Not many up here in the wilds of Northen New England. Love to hear from you ladies literally and figuratively.
mc253
Spent some time in Texas and found that those lovely southern accents ( not just Texas ones !) are absolutley delectable! Especially when spoken by a wonderful southern lady in the midst of her own personal"heat wave"!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh close my eyes I can hear them now!
Maybe later if I'm lucky? LOL
Not many up here in the wilds of Northen New England. Love to hear from you ladies literally and figuratively.
mc253
babydoll2u
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mc253 said:Spent some time in Texas and found that those lovely southern accents ( not just Texas ones !) are absolutley delectable! Especially when spoken by a wonderful southern lady in the midst of her own personal"heat wave"!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh close my eyes I can hear them now!
Maybe later if I'm lucky? LOL
Not many up here in the wilds of Northen New England. Love to hear from you ladies literally and figuratively.
mc253
I know what you mean hun... I moved here to Ohio about 8 weeks ago...
while I don't miss the south, I do miss the southern drawl and southern hospitality
a_sweet_juicy_peach
Sexy Georgia Woman
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How lucky do you want to get? lol
babydoll2u
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whatcha mean?a_sweet_juicy_peach said:
bobwhitecrow
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Did someone say lucky?
I got lucky this morning.
He's a three legged dog.
a_sweet_juicy_peach said:
I got lucky this morning.
He's a three legged dog.
bobwhitecrow
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Reminds me of a Billy Joel song
Scenes in an Italian Restaurant
A WAITRESS WALKS UP TO ONE OF HER TABLES IN A NEW YORK CITY
RESTAURANT AND NOTICES THAT THE THREE JAPANESE BUSINESSMEN
SEATED THERE ARE FURIOUSLY MASTURBATING............
SHE YELLS, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
ONE OF THE JAPANESE MEN EXPLAINS, "CAN'T YOU SEE? WE ARE
ALL VERY HUNGRY"
THE WAITRESS BEGS THE QUESTION, "SO, HOW IS WHACKING-OFF IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURANT GOING TO HELP THAT SITUATION?"
ONE OF THE OTHER JAPANESE MEN REPLIES, "THE MENU SAY, FIRST
COME, FIRST SERVED"!
Scenes in an Italian Restaurant
A WAITRESS WALKS UP TO ONE OF HER TABLES IN A NEW YORK CITY
RESTAURANT AND NOTICES THAT THE THREE JAPANESE BUSINESSMEN
SEATED THERE ARE FURIOUSLY MASTURBATING............
SHE YELLS, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
ONE OF THE JAPANESE MEN EXPLAINS, "CAN'T YOU SEE? WE ARE
ALL VERY HUNGRY"
THE WAITRESS BEGS THE QUESTION, "SO, HOW IS WHACKING-OFF IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURANT GOING TO HELP THAT SITUATION?"
ONE OF THE OTHER JAPANESE MEN REPLIES, "THE MENU SAY, FIRST
COME, FIRST SERVED"!
bobwhitecrow
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Hi, Doll!
I haven't seen you in a while!
bamagirl said:lol
I haven't seen you in a while!
bobwhitecrow
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That's what counts.
I have to leave for a while, but I'll check back later.
bamagirl said:*waves*
I am here now though!!
I have to leave for a while, but I'll check back later.
bobwhitecrow
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You're right!
I checked in, and didn't see anyone so I left again.
I'm getting ready to go get in the shower.
I probably won't be back until tomorrow evening.
bamagirl said:
I checked in, and didn't see anyone so I left again.
I'm getting ready to go get in the shower.
I probably won't be back until tomorrow evening.
bobwhitecrow
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Until Then . . .
You might want to check out one of my other threads:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=336337
You might want to check out one of my other threads:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=336337
Woodmiester
Recess is over
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Well shitfire while reading the first few pages I thought this here was gonna be a firstclass waller in the mud thing but everyone's gone and got all nicey and all, so I'll just keep my thoughts right here in my pocket.
