Amateur Hour

[pleases32]

Explain to me how questioning and not understanding is judging.

Lately, I've been accused of being judgmental. If that's at all true, it comforts me to know that I've never, once, been this judgmental

 

[pleases32]

Attacks against me are not really the most helpful of replies but thanks for the heads- up. I did not know where to start it and was given advice to do so here. I will see about switching the forum if the better audience is more over there.

I second Rainshine's comment: Darkroom Lounge. That is your target audience. Why didn't you start your thread there??
That being said, the posts already made offer a good variety of replies.

 

[pleases32]

Thank you for an interesting reply without feeling the need to attack or make a sarcastic comment. I think it is great that you have started such a thread. Sad that curvy women are not more appreciated. I actually have always preferred a woman who is not really thin. Just my own personal taste. I can see how you would feel good about yourself when someone does appreciate your efforts. That is enough for you. You do not need more than that. You also want to give safe and fun exposure to women who have some curves. I think that is what you are trying to say.

I have a vanity thread, and in it I post funny, sometimes serious, oftentimes not so serious, and occasionally sexy stuff. I do not give ONE SINGLE FLYING FIG if people like it or not. The posts are there to spark conversation, admiration of a particular art form or simply my way of expressing myself when words fail me.

I also started a picture thread ( not of me, fuck no. I have some pics of me floating around, but not an entire thread dedicated to my ample ~yet very fine~ ass). My thread is dedicated to giving the larger ladies a bit more exposure. Yes, some of the photographs are raunchy and out right porn, but many are very artistic, and well crafted pieces of erotic art that I find to be aesthetically pleasing portrayals of the plumper side of the female figure.

Do I post them to meet up with people: That'd be a big NO.
Do I post them expecting people to like them: Yes, but don't really care if you do or not. But if you do like something, it is always nice to hear that your efforts are appreciated. ( BTW, appreciated does NOT mean I want to cyber. Simple "thank you's" are sufficient to stroke my ego )

Think of it more as a depository of photographs I think need exposure because I know there are people out there who want to see it, but DON'T get to because much of society has told us that larger women/ thicker women/BBWs are unattractive. Men and women are made to feel ashamed for even admitting to liking something larger than a size 14...

So, that's why I do it.

 

[crazy4cock]

Why do they do it?...I would think they like showing their bodies. Everyone is different and for some it turns them on..plain and simple.
For myself I do visit the am. pic thread and enjoy looking at a certain Daz very much...Am I a perv for enjoying seeing this beautiful man?...no I am smart

 

[perkyT]

Attacks against me are not really the most helpful of replies but thanks for the heads- up. I did not know where to start it and was given advice to do so here. I will see about switching the forum if the better audience is more over there.

Hello? Are you implying that I was attacking you or that you don't appreciate some of the posts?

One thing you should know, say anything you want but be prepared for people to make their comments anyway they want.

I was simply being helpful...pffft, won't make that mistake again.

 

[pleases32]

I also want to share that the sadness is due to the fact of the fear that some may post pictures to get the attention not being received at home. Not because of being an exhibitionist, per-se. But from needing that positive response from someone else in order to feel better. So, how can I not be sad knowing that some may not be getting the attention at home that they so much want and deserve?

This is a truly perplexing statement. Does it make you sad people watch porn? People (like you) post on Lit? People read erotic literature? It's pretty interesting you automatically think it's because it's due to some excitement they are missing... what if that is simply what excites them.



The way you have worded this, makes you sound like a rather judgemental soul not so much an analytical one.

 

[pleases32]

I was talking about other comments. Not yours. That is why I said thanks for the heads-up. I never said that you attacked me.

Hello? Are you implying that I was attacking you or that you don't appreciate some of the posts?

One thing you should know, say anything you want but be prepared for people to make their comments anyway they want.

I was simply being helpful...pffft, won't make that mistake again.

 

[NotHisLady]

...

It's great that Lit allows one to explore. I still think it should allow someone to question what is not understood and to have an opinion on something.

I do not go to that part of the site to get off or to flirt with others. I know that I do not have to go there. None of us have to do anything at all. Still, I cannot help but be curious.

My profile is rather bare because it takes time to figure out a person. No amount of fancy and long-winded words we say can make another really know us. Some things just simply take time. That really does not make me any less reflective.

Not trying to judge at all. Just asking a question on something I am trying to understand.

If we only responded to and wondered about things that made our own selves happy, then this would be a pretty sad world. Not to mention a sort of ignorant one.

No one ever tries to be judgemental. Some people are just gifted like that. Generally speaking though, it's pretty easy to spot the people who are judging because they are the ones who tell you (and often themselves) that they aren't. Take a look at how you phrased your initial question. Do you really have a hard time seeing why it was perceived as 'judgy'?

So, I have a serious question or two to ask all of you who post pictures. I know that this is your right to do so but also feel that any post is available to the public. Not only some who may just say anything you want to hear in order to get something back. Please know that I am not judging you. I am the last person who should be doing that.
What do you possibly get out of showing your ass like this so to speak?

As for this being a place to question and have opinions, I've never had a problem expressing mine. The price of that is being willing to accept those of others. I'm eager for other people's opinions and ideas about things. It really does make the world more interesting--it may or may not change MY world view. I've never had much luck, here or anywhere, soliciting new opinions and ideas by leading with stating mine.

I've also never had much luck getting to know other people unless I started by putting a bit of myself forward first. That bare profile says something. It tells people that you don't WANT people to know you, that you aren't willing to take the time to offer any clues or say anything that would introduce yourself. It's a blank name tag.

I don't honestly think you're looking for insight. I think there's something personal going on. All this talk about the Am Pics threads--I looked at your posts. It looks to me like you did some pretty complimentary posting to just one of them. Do you maybe want to know what that person wanted out of posting pictures? Perhaps it isn't what you thought she was after.

Bummer.

It's part of what goes on in a situation like this though. One person puts something out there for one set of reasons, gets what they need from doing that. Another person comments on it and gets what they need by doing that. Somebody else may only look--may think good things or bad things but whatever it is that they think it gives them what they need.
It's sort of symbiotic. It doesn't mean that any of those people will ever really interact with one another or will ever even want to.
There's a different "why" for every person and in the end they don't matter in the least.
Why is there anything sad about that? Wouldn't it be far sadder if all those people were repressed? If there was no place to use that voice or have that expression safely?

 

[blulilacgrl]

So, I have a serious question or two to ask all of you who post pictures. I know that this is your right to do so but also feel that any post is available to the public. Not only some who may just say anything you want to hear in order to get something back. Please know that I am not judging you. I am the last person who should be doing that.

What do you possibly get out of showing your ass like this so to speak? Yes, you may have a pretty nice one. But, does this make you feel better about yourself? Does it make you feel better knowing that some others who only want you to post more pictures to jack or jill off to who could care less about who you are as a person feed you every other compliment in the book?

Then, there is the flirting that takes place as a result of the pictures. Does it arouse you to flirt with every single guy or girl left and right who leaves you a positive reply? What do you get sharing these sexual suggestions in public?

The picture threads on here have never made much sense to me. It makes me sad that so many people perhaps turn to exhibitionism in order to feel the excitement that they are missing. Sure, you do have a right to do what you want. I am just a rather analytical soul and still cannot help but wonder as to why this is. I have talked about all of this with my best friend and she did not seem to be able to give me anything interesting to go on.

Thus, I figured that the Lit community who posts these actual pictures may be able to help me out. Thanks in advance for reading this and for considering a reply.

Not trying to judge at all. Just asking a question on something I am trying to understand.

If we only responded to and wondered about things that made our own selves happy, then this would be a pretty sad world. Not to mention a sort of ignorant one.

Generally we only respond to things that make us happy. People only do what feels good to them. Even altruism is not completely about the other person, most do it because in helping someone else they feel better. So again there is a selfish motivation (not that this outweighs the end result but it is there).

And you did insult and judge people. You peppered your questions with trigger words and assumptions. Instead of asking an open ended question you peppered your questions with statements that make the responder have to defend his/her pictures. The above bolded statements are designed (either deliberately or subconsciously) to indicate your view of the matter. This is why I took your post to be "judge-y".

There is a difference between saying "I am wondering why people post in the AmPic forum. Can anyone explain his/her motivation and what they get out of it?"

AND

"I am wondering why people post their pics. It makes me sad and I think that they are looking for attention they aren't getting at home."
Now the responder has to defend and say if he/she is getting enough attention and make you not feel sorry for them. (That is if they care if you feel bad for them or not)


I would recommend you rephrase your question in a non confrontational, open ended way if you are really seeking an honest answer. Of course it is your right to ask your question any way you like. *shrugs* So good luck!

 

[pleases32]

Guess I am just gifted, huh? Great sarcasm you use there. Are you just gifted at being rude, then?

Seems like you are making quite a few generalizations there yourself. Not everyone who says what I said is automatically judging. I said it because of hoping that others would not feel like they were being attacked. I wanted to put it out there in the open. I cannot control how it is taken.

There is not much in my profile because when I do talk to others, I prefer to do that in private. No reason I feel to put yourself out there to everyone. What exactly does a blank name tag say to you?

Who are you to say that something personal is going on? You know absolutely nothing about me.

Yes, I have posted a few replies in the past to picture threads. I did not get anything out of it and stopped.

I explained that I am sad that some really cool, nice, and sexy people may have to resort to posting pictures to feel better about themselves because of the way they are treated. I am sad at the way some people out there treat others. Which is basically being justified even more by all of these lovely responses.

No one ever tries to be judgemental. Some people are just gifted like that. Generally speaking though, it's pretty easy to spot the people who are judging because they are the ones who tell you (and often themselves) that they aren't. Take a look at how you phrased your initial question. Do you really have a hard time seeing why it was perceived as 'judgy'?



As for this being a place to question and have opinions, I've never had a problem expressing mine. The price of that is being willing to accept those of others. I'm eager for other people's opinions and ideas about things. It really does make the world more interesting--it may or may not change MY world view. I've never had much luck, here or anywhere, soliciting new opinions and ideas by leading with stating mine.

I've also never had much luck getting to know other people unless I started by putting a bit of myself forward first. That bare profile says something. It tells people that you don't WANT people to know you, that you aren't willing to take the time to offer any clues or say anything that would introduce yourself. It's a blank name tag.

I don't honestly think you're looking for insight. I think there's something personal going on. All this talk about the Am Pics threads--I looked at your posts. It looks to me like you did some pretty complimentary posting to just one of them. Do you maybe want to know what that person wanted out of posting pictures? Perhaps it isn't what you thought she was after.

Bummer.

It's part of what goes on in a situation like this though. One person puts something out there for one set of reasons, gets what they need from doing that. Another person comments on it and gets what they need by doing that. Somebody else may only look--may think good things or bad things but whatever it is that they think it gives them what they need.
It's sort of symbiotic. It doesn't mean that any of those people will ever really interact with one another or will ever even want to.
There's a different "why" for every person and in the end they don't matter in the least.
Why is there anything sad about that? Wouldn't it be far sadder if all those people were repressed? If there was no place to use that voice or have that expression safely?

 

[pleases32]

The ass comment was a play on words. There are some people on here who most likely jack or jill off to the pictures. Not all. That is why I specifically said some. Some of those individuals may only care about the pictures and not the person. They may then post a suggestive comment. And, if the person posting pictures feels better about themselves just because of this, then that is just sad in my opinion. Because, we are all so much more than a mere body. I just wish that some people would appreciate this. The flirting comment should have been prefaced with a word like some. I will give you that. I actually toned down the original question from what it was before. I also went back and changed a couple of words in the original post.

Generally we only respond to things that make us happy. People only do what feels good to them. Even altruism is not completely about the other person, most do it because in helping someone else they feel better. So again there is a selfish motivation (not that this outweighs the end result but it is there).

And you did insult and judge people. You peppered your questions with trigger words and assumptions. Instead of asking an open ended question you peppered your questions with statements that make the responder have to defend his/her pictures. The above bolded statements are designed (either deliberately or subconsciously) to indicate your view of the matter. This is why I took your post to be "judge-y".

There is a difference between saying "I am wondering why people post in the AmPic forum. Can anyone explain his/her motivation and what they get out of it?"

AND

"I am wondering why people post their pics. It makes me sad and I think that they are looking for attention they aren't getting at home."
Now the responder has to defend and say if he/she is getting enough attention and make you not feel sorry for them. (That is if they care if you feel bad for them or not)


I would recommend you rephrase your question in a non confrontational, open ended way if you are really seeking an honest answer. Of course it is your right to ask your question any way you like. *shrugs* So good luck!

 

[blulilacgrl]

The ass comment was a play on words. There are some people on here who most likely jack or jill off to the pictures. Not all. That is why I specifically said some. Some of those individuals may only care about the pictures and not the person. They may then post a suggestive comment. And, if the person posting pictures feels better about themselves just because of this, then that is just sad in my opinion. Because, we are all so much more than a mere body. I just wish that some people would appreciate this. The flirting comment should have been prefaced with a word like some. I will give you that. I actually toned down the original question from what it was before.

Oookay. Well that makes it all better.

Just in case you are unaware of the meaning behind "showing your ass", I copy and pasted this for you

1. To act like a complete idiot.
   
3. making yourself look like a jackass or an asshole, being a dick. embarrassing yourself or the people you are with in public or in front of other people, usually by doing something socially unacceptable. exposing your true colors in a negative way. also, having a nasty attitude in a public setting.
   
   
5. Used to describe when someone tries to elevate themselves and ends up exposing their ignorance (or flaws, etc).

Actually now that I look at it, #3 might be applicable here.

 

[NotHisLady]

Guess I am just gifted, huh? Great sarcasm you use there. Are you just gifted at being rude, then?

Seems like you are making quite a few generalizations there yourself. Not everyone who says what I said is automatically judging. I said it because of hoping that others would not feel like they were being attacked. I wanted to put it out there in the open. I cannot control how it is taken.

There is not much in my profile because when I do talk to others, I prefer to do that in private. No reason I feel to put yourself out there to everyone. What exactly does a blank name tag say to you?

Who are you to say that something personal is going on? You know absolutely nothing about me.

Yes, I have posted a few replies in the past to picture threads. I did not get anything out of it and stopped.

I explained that I am sad that some really cool, nice, and sexy people may have to resort to posting pictures to feel better about themselves because of the way they are treated. I am sad at the way some people out there treat others. Which is basically being justified even more by all of these lovely responses.

You're so busy stating your premise that you aren't listening to anyone who's responded. You have had some lovely responses by the way.
The sarcasm was only half joking. I've never once had someone lead with telling me "not that I'm judging but..." when they weren't. Ever in my life and I'm old enough for that to be long enough to make a difference.
I do believe that a fair amount of the time those people are fooling themselves more than they are trying to fool anyone else. Mostly they don't think they ARE judging but their words give them away. First their words and then the fact that no answer ever seems to make its way past their original idea.
Still, you wanted to know why people thought your question was judgemental and I told you. I didn't ask you to like my answer or even to agree with it. Mine is one person's opinion just like yours. It's worth no more and no less.

You say you are 'sad' that people "may have to resort to posting pictures to feel better about themselves because of the way they are treated." I gave you my point of view--that there is nothing sad about people having the freedom and a venue to express themselves as they like. In my opinion not having that freedom or that venue would be far worse. Again, this is my opinion. My answer to the query you posited. If you didn't want a diverse range of answers you shouldn't have asked a large diverse group of people. No one is saying you have to like or agree with every answer.
There isn't a right one.

I am calling BS on all this "I'm sad" business though. There's more here than an academic question and there is no effort at all to understand different points of view (of which several very good ones have been offered.)

What does a blank name tag say to me? It says "I don't want to be part of your group, I only want to hang around and watch."

I know how to be a lady, and yes I know how to not be. I speak as I'm spoken to, generally.
Nothing I've yet written is something I consider rude. Brusque maybe, possibly even unkind but not rude.
We seem to have very different world views.

 

[pleases32]

Or, perhaps I meant "showing your ass" to mean that when you post a sexy picture in public, you literally are "showing your ass".

But then again, how would I possibly know what my own intent is?

I did not mean nor say that anyone posting pictures is ignorant.

You can call me ignorant all you want. Straight up or with word games. Does not matter to me at all.

Oookay. Well that makes it all better.

Just in case you are unaware of the meaning behind "showing your ass", I copy and pasted this for you

1. To act like a complete idiot.
   
3. making yourself look like a jackass or an asshole, being a dick. embarrassing yourself or the people you are with in public or in front of other people, usually by doing something socially unacceptable. exposing your true colors in a negative way. also, having a nasty attitude in a public setting.
   
   
5. Used to describe when someone tries to elevate themselves and ends up exposing their ignorance (or flaws, etc).

Actually now that I look at it, #3 might be applicable here.

 

[cowslinger64]

i havent read much of this... but just in case you wanna go back before you started this thread and got the girls all angry, you can borrow my time machine.


http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/107/1079949/time-machines-through-er-time-20100325065957774.jpg

 

[pleases32]

Yes, one response so far has been 'lovely' and without any kind of hidden or upfront attack. I thanked that person in my reply. Not because that person agreed with me and kissed my ass. But, because she actually answered the question without going off topic. I thought that a few responders had some interesting insights. Before they also felt the need to be sarcastic and rude, that is. Let's see. Let's take Just A Scoundrel. You call that a lovely reply? Guess your definition and my own of that word is completely different.

You can call B.S. all you want. I would love to try to understand someone else's point of view if one would just offer something without feeling the need to personally attack me as a person or the way I word things. Or the profile which I have.

Sorry about the blank name tag. I did not realize that there was a right or wrong way to be on here.

Interesting that you justify yourself being brusque and unkind but not rude. As if there is a huge difference among these words.

You're so busy stating your premise that you aren't listening to anyone who's responded. You have had some lovely responses by the way.
The sarcasm was only half joking. I've never once had someone lead with telling me "not that I'm judging but..." when they weren't. Ever in my life and I'm old enough for that to be long enough to make a difference.
I do believe that a fair amount of the time those people are fooling themselves more than they are trying to fool anyone else. Mostly they don't think they ARE judging but their words give them away. First their words and then the fact that no answer ever seems to make its way past their original idea.
Still, you wanted to know why people thought your question was judgemental and I told you. I didn't ask you to like my answer or even to agree with it. Mine is one person's opinion just like yours. It's worth no more and no less.

You say you are 'sad' that people "may have to resort to posting pictures to feel better about themselves because of the way they are treated." I gave you my point of view--that there is nothing sad about people having the freedom and a venue to express themselves as they like. In my opinion not having that freedom or that venue would be far worse. Again, this is my opinion. My answer to the query you posited. If you didn't want a diverse range of answers you shouldn't have asked a large diverse group of people. No one is saying you have to like or agree with every answer.
There isn't a right one.

I am calling BS on all this "I'm sad" business though. There's more here than an academic question and there is no effort at all to understand different points of view (of which several very good ones have been offered.)

What does a blank name tag say to me? It says "I don't want to be part of your group, I only want to hang around and watch."

I know how to be a lady, and yes I know how to not be. I speak as I'm spoken to, generally.
Nothing I've yet written is something I consider rude. Brusque maybe, possibly even unkind but not rude.
We seem to have very different world views.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Or, perhaps I meant "showing your ass" to mean that when you post a sexy picture in public, you literally are "showing your ass".

But then again, how would I possibly know what my own intent is?

I did not mean nor say that anyone posting pictures is ignorant.

You can call me ignorant all you want. Straight up or with word games. Does not matter to me at all.

Okay. You are ignorant. Not necessarily a bad thing as long as you seek information. But as #3 states

Used to describe when someone tries to elevate themselves and ends up exposing their ignorance (or flaws, etc).

That would be you. Better?

As to knowing your own intent, apparently you do not convey your intent very well. You chose a trigger phrase that had a meaning you were not aware of. And instead of simply stating your ignorance, you try to say 'but that's not what I meant and you should have known that!' Funny thing is I gave you the benefit of the doubt concerning your ignorance when I said this "Just in case you are unaware of the meaning behind "showing your ass...".

i havent read much of this... but just in case you wanna go back before you started this thread and got the girls all angry, you can borrow my time machine.


http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/107/1079949/time-machines-through-er-time-20100325065957774.jpg

Can I borrow that?

 

[pleases32]

*****

 

[Miles Long]

i havent read much of this... but just in case you wanna go back before you started this thread and got the girls all angry, you can borrow my time machine.


http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/107/1079949/time-machines-through-er-time-20100325065957774.jpg

Nice! Is that a new time machine or an old time machine?

 

[pleases32]

See, I could choose to respond to all of these witty word games of yours and continue to open myself up to more attacks. But, what is the point? I have already been told where to go.

Interestingly enough. Someone just sent me a private message who did not want to post in public. She very kindly told me that she read my original post as being offensive and hurtful. Imagine that. Spoke her mind without feeling the need to attack me.

Since my original intention was not to attack and only to ask, I truly apologize to anyone I may have accidently offended.

Okay. You are ignorant. Not necessarily a bad thing as long as you seek information. But as #3 states

Used to describe when someone tries to elevate themselves and ends up exposing their ignorance (or flaws, etc).

That would be you. Better?

As to knowing your own intent, apparently you do not convey your intent very well. You chose a trigger phrase that had a meaning you were not aware of. And instead of simply stating your ignorance, you try to say 'but that's not what I meant and you should have known that!' Funny thing is I gave you the benefit of the doubt concerning your ignorance when I said this "Just in case you are unaware of the meaning behind "showing your ass...".




Can I borrow that?

 

[NotHisLady]

...

You can call B.S. all you want. I would love to try to understand someone else's point of view if one would just offer something without feeling the need to personally attack me as a person or the way I word things. Or the profile which I have.

Sorry about the blank name tag. I did not realize that there was a right or wrong way to be on here.

Interesting that you justify yourself being brusque and unkind but not rude. As if there is a huge difference among these words.

Pick and choose among the answers, find one that suits you. This has started to bore me.
I don't justify myself, I don't have to.
It may be that there is less nuance in New York than there is where I was raised but yes, there is a world of difference between those three things.

You keep asking questions and I keep providing answers. That you don't like them is a thing I can't help.
Don't fill out your profile, don't make any attempt to join any conversation that you didn't create. I truly don't care. You asked me what it meant to me that you had a "blank name tag" and I told you. It was no plea for change I assure you.

That I think there is a deeper motivation for your question is hardly an attack and why it would be read as such is open for speculation. Aren't we all just speculating?
For the record, I don't for a moment believe that you didn't know what you were saying when you used the words "show your ass."

That you refuse to acknowledge that the words you choose impact the way your statements are received has stopped being anything but tiresome.

You've asked questions and you've gotten answers (whether you care for them or the sources they came from or not) so let me ask you one.

Why does anyone here need to provide you with an explanation of why he or she does anything?

 

[blulilacgrl]

See, I could choose to respond to all of these witty word games of yours and continue to open myself up to more attacks. But, what is the point? I have already been told where to go.

Interestingly enough. Someone just sent me a private message who did not want to post in public. She very kindly told me that she read my original post as being offensive and hurtful. Imagine that. Spoke her mind without feeling the need to attack me.

Since my original intention was not to attack and only to ask, I truly apologize to anyone I may have accidently offended.

Apology accepted.

 

[JoyDyan]

I think that my original post asks what others get from posting the pictures. I am thus trying to find out an answer from those who actually do this. What you say has crossed my mind. Perhaps there is more than one reason. This is exactly what I am trying to find out.

Pray tell me what this comment has to do with the original question. What do you get out of posting this?

There is a very simple answer to your question that I haven't seen addressed yet.

I post pics of myself here - as my AV or profile pic only - because when I do it, people compliment me. And it makes me feel good when people say nice things to me. Duh!

I am not lacking for attention. I am not an exhibitionist....at least, not much of one. I'm also not thin-skinned, and I understand your motivation after reading through the posts, but I did find your original post to be a bit judgmental and rude to those who do post pics here. I think you could have been more tactful, and it would have saved you some grief.

 

[kingfupa]

There is a very simple answer to your question that I haven't seen addressed yet.

I post pics of myself here - as my AV or profile pic only - because when I do it, people compliment me. And it makes me feel good when people say nice things to me. Duh!

I am not lacking for attention. I am not an exhibitionist....at least, not much of one. I'm also not thin-skinned, and I understand your motivation after reading through the posts, but I did find your original post to be a bit judgmental and rude to those who do post pics here. I think you could have been more tactful, and it would have saved you some grief.

Have we all cleared the fucking air here now?? Can we get back to our orgy...I've got the cameras all set up and ready to go.

 

[JoyDyan]

Have we all cleared the fucking air here now?? Can we get back to our orgy...I've got the cameras all set up and ready to go.

Crabass!
No pics for you.