An intriuging situation....

[SweetErika]

I don't want to add fuel, but...

I don't think the comparison between a surrogate mother and this proposal is all that accurate. A surrogate mother is more often than not implanted with the couples fertilised egg (so in other words, the parents would be giving the egg and the sperm) and the surrogate 'rents' the womb. Furthermore, most surrogates are implanted medically, so she does not become pregnant the old fashioned way. Also, surrogates have to go through a lengthy legal process, signing a load of forms, and she is compensated, quite well, for her time and use of her body.

What the OP seems to be proposing is finding a male to impregnate his wife, and what the How-Toers are pointing out that there are not only the legal repercussions but also the many consequences that the idea may lead, first and foremost that it will be done 'under the table', along with the trying to understand the debate about money.

The How-To regulars are helping him, they are providing the OP with additional options and other avenues to explore, with brutal honesty. The How-To board is well known for its informativeness, open-mindedness, intelligence, and honesty.

Again, I don't mean to cause any arguments, merely pointing out what I see as facts .

Nicely said!

And, well, if someone posted here looking for a surrogate or advertising their desire to be one in the same manner, I'm sure they'd get a very similar response from all of us.

 

[fuyutsuki]

quick reply

First off after posting and rereading my comments I half expected to get flamed. Second thanks for a little education concerning the frankness of some of the individuals on these forums.

Now:

I don't want to add fuel, but...

I don't think the comparison between a surrogate mother and this proposal is all that accurate. A surrogate mother is more often than not implanted with the couples fertilised egg (so in other words, the parents would be giving the egg and the sperm) and the surrogate 'rents' the womb. Furthermore, most surrogates are implanted medically, so she does not become pregnant the old fashioned way. Also, surrogates have to go through a lengthy legal process, signing a load of forms, and she is compensated, quite well, for her time and use of her body.

What the OP seems to be proposing is finding a male to impregnate his wife, and what the How-Toers are pointing out that there are not only the legal repercussions but also the many consequences that the idea may lead, first and foremost that it will be done 'under the table', along with the trying to understand the debate about money.

The How-To regulars are helping him, they are providing the OP with additional options and other avenues to explore, with brutal honesty. The How-To board is well known for its informativeness, open-mindedness, intelligence, and honesty.

Again, I don't mean to cause any arguments, merely pointing out what I see as facts .

There is a reason I included "natural" when I referenced surrogacy. There is a market for surrogates that will or want to be impregnated the 'good old fashioned way,' so yes while many surrogacy's are initiated through artificial means literally giving it to the surrogate is still an acceptable means of impregnation. Personally I think the "brutal honest" is a polite way of putting how this subject has been handled.

ahhhh. the old "shut the fuck up if you don't have anything nice to say" response. How original. On a side note...if you want to advertise for a fuck buddy...go to the personals forum...this forum is very appropriately named the "how to" forum for a reason. If wrench whats to know how he may increase his fertility (which can be done), logical options as an alternative (of which we have already provided many), what other options curtail (again provided), ways to increase fertility (which there are many) or how to increase the chance of getting pregnant, ect...this is the appropriate forum. He will get pointed, honest opinions even if they are not the ones he wants to hear. It is then his job to take what he wants and to leave the rest. If you don't like the function of these forums, may I suggest you taking it up with the owners instead of those who are following the forum expectations?

Original no, effectiveness is yet to be proven but it's looking pretty good so far. While I agree that other options are available, and many good ones have been presented here, the continual hounding of the OP about why he/they haven't used one of those options is counter productive. At least once he has said essentially "we hadn't thought of that thanks for bringing it up."

As for the adoption issues that have been brought up some places make it harder to adopt then others. We're in the process of adopting our nephew and so far we're $3,000 into it & the courts haven't even been petitioned yet that's just in paperwork and legal fees.

I'm more intrigued that it's seemingly acceptable to these forums to use a 'frozen pop' yet unacceptable to use a living breathing donor.

 

[coastal-boy]

I'm more intrigued that it's seemingly acceptable to these forums to use a 'frozen pop' yet unacceptable to use a living breathing donor.
[/COLOR

Sometimes, people want something so badly that they do not see the forest because of the trees. As a result, they not only do not think it through, they simply take the easiest route and think that it is the best. No one should ever have to justify their actions. Anytime anyone does, red flags should go up as a warning.

 

[Eilan]

I'm more intrigued that it's seemingly acceptable to these forums to use a 'frozen pop' yet unacceptable to use a living breathing donor.

I suppose that the live donor route would be easier for those people who can separate love and sex, but not everyone is wired that way.

I always thought there was something special about (attempted) babymaking sex, and I'd want to share it with my partner, not someone I'd brought in just for that task.

Edited to add:

And, well, if someone posted here looking for a surrogate or advertising their desire to be one in the same manner, I'm sure they'd get a very similar response from all of us.

It's not quite the same thing, but remember the now-defunct "Western NY State virgin looking to get pregnant" train wreck from a few years back?

 

[fuyutsuki]

Edited to add:It's not quite the same thing, but remember the now-defunct "Western NY State virgin looking to get pregnant" train wreck from a few years back?

That sounds like it was a similarly interesting topic of discussion.

 

[Hoardingenergy]

So what did the OP end up working out? Did they find a donar?

 

[littlebabyclit]

I feel sorry for the OP, even though I don't agree either with what he and wife wanna do. In my years of being a member of many internet forums, I've learned: honesty is valuable, brutal honesty is damaging. Being aggressively, verbally jumped on by total strangers is something almost nobody wants or enjoys (except trolls.) No wonder so many forums wind up being full of the same old, same old people posting again and again...and newbies get scared off. Real life is rough enough, many people ain't gonna sign up for extra helpings of rough treatment online...
Just sayin'.....

 

[PertPerth]

....you know that your wife doesn't need to actually have sex with the donor, right?
http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/homeinsem.html
I know of many women who have done the "home turkey baster" method from a friend who provided sperm in a condom.

It's not very hard to do - loads of forums out there if you try a google search.
Good luck!

 

[wrenchjr]

It's nice to see some more level headed individuals have joined our discussion. I just have a few things: I have not come here looking for legal advice. For that I will go to a lawyer. Fuyutsuki-- I feel your pain with the adoption process. Hope that it works out for you and yours. Thanks to everyone for their insights and advice, while we have not found a solution to our problem this forum has provided some excellent information. And I'm glad I got the title right as this has been intriguing. Peace out, I'll be around.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

all I can say is wow people.... Wrench came out open hands looking for a little help and you all blast him.
If you don't like it find another discussion to post in otherwise shut the fuck up and get a fucking helmet.

As a side note for all of you who find this appalling check out a little thing called natural surrogacy there's women who essentially rent themselves to couples in the reverse situation.

Wrench PM Sent on a couple of those minor details.

You think this is a negative reaction? This is HT, we're pretty sane. Go play on the GB for a while.

/and welcome to Lit.

 

[fuyutsuki]

You think this is a negative reaction? This is HT, we're pretty sane. Go play on the GB for a while.

/and welcome to Lit.

Thanks Deviant glad to be here.